Anomaly
by Sierra Janeway
Summary: Having her young daughter with her aboard Voyager creates a complex set of responsibilities and challenges for Captain Janeway. They and the crew work at adjusting to life in the Delta Quadrant... New Chapter: 'Cathexis'
1. Anomaly

_Disclaimer: All characters, vessels, and science belong to Paramount with the exception of Sarah Janeway, the U.S.S Perry, and anything else that I made up._

Author's Note: Okay, so the heroine I've added is probably classified as a 'Mary-Sue', but guess what? I don't care. :) Basically, I've taken my childhood ambition to act in Star Trek: Voyager and put it down on 'cyber-paper' and I'm risking something very personal to me by putting it on the web but the little author voice in my head kept bugging me to share this. Please be kind—I'm baring my soul to all of you.

Also, I apologize for any mistakes in regard to Janeway's career timeline and/or baby growth and development. I've had to make some changes in order to fit all my new ideas in.

_Anomaly_

Captain Kathryn Janeway sat slumped on one of the benches in the garden outside Starfleet Command. She felt thoroughly drained. She had just returned from a command mission on the _U.S.S. Perry, _which had originally been a simple matter of transporting a diplomat to the planet Per'Eras but had changed in a nanosecond when rebels had attacked the ship. It had taken every ounce of her skill to keep the ship in one piece, fight off the rebels, contact the government, and help establish diplomatic relations.

And now Starfleet wanted to send her right back out again. It was a compliment of sorts, since they were greatly impressed with her skill and she had been decorated for her actions. Her exhaustion wouldn't even have been a problem if it hadn't been for one thing—the three-year-old sitting on the grass a few feet from her. She seemed oddly fascinated by the grass, pulling up a few blades at a time and holding them close to her face. The little girl's loose black curls rippled down her back, strangely long for one so young. When she moved her head, the light caught her hair and showed the auburn highlights hidden among the dark tresses. Her jade green eyes were bright and happy, in direct contrast to her mother.

Kathryn Janeway watched her daughter, feeling rather depressed. The poor little one had no idea the problems her existence had caused. Three years previously, when she had discovered herself four weeks pregnant, she had been shocked and a little dismayed at first. It had been two months since she had been with Mark. Thinking he'd understand, she had told him. He had been furious. He had asked how she could possibly treat their relationship as frivolous, and then he'd stormed out of the room and her life. Forever. Terribly unhappy, she'd gone to have a DNA test done to determine her child's father. When the results came back, she hadn't been the only one stunned. The results were inconclusive. The child, a healthy girl, had DNA from Kathryn, but on the father's side…just DNA. Every time the doctors tried to determine whose it was, their equipment would cease to function. The only thing they could tell for certain was that her daughter was fully human.

Even after her birth, she'd remained a medical curiosity. Kathryn couldn't begin to count the times the two of them had gone to Starfleet Medical for some new test. The end result was always the same: inconclusive. She'd finally had enough and refused to even try anymore. Her daughter was here, she didn't have a father, that was that.

It was much harder on her career after her daughter was born. She had to leave her with her mother, Gretchen, any time she had a mission. It was a struggle for her, for although her appearance had changed her life forever, Kathryn loved her little girl dearly. She tried to compensate by taking the shortest missions she could find, taking leave after each one, etc. It still didn't feel right to have her daughter raised by her mother. Not that Grandma Gretchen didn't love her granddaughter and spoil her rotten—no, in fact it was quite the opposite. It just seemed that she was missing so much.

The strange thing was, she wasn't sure she actually was missing anything. After little Sarah Kathryn was born, she had taken a year's leave from Starfleet to care for her infant daughter. In that year, Sarah was early for everything—sitting up on her own, smiling, and so on. So when she headed back to Starfleet not long after Sarah's first birthday, she felt reasonably secure in the fact that her daughter was progressing as she should, and was even quicker than most. However, after her first mission back, a trip that lasted a month and a half, she had come home to find that in her absence Sarah hadn't progressed at all. She still hadn't spoken her first word and seemed reluctant to try anything else that she should have been trying at that stage in her development. Worried, Kathryn took a month's leave and took her daughter to a specialist. He'd merely shrugged, said her daughter was normal in every way, and that she would talk when she was ready.

Within that month that Kathryn took off, Sarah began to talk. Strangely enough, she skipped all the babyish talk and went right to forming whole sentences. Kathryn remembered vividly sitting outside her childhood home, her mother cooking in the kitchen, Sarah sitting in the yard. Suddenly, without any warning, Sarah got up, walked over to her mother, hugged her, and said quite clearly "I love you Mama."

From that point on, Sarah passed all her milestones early—as long as Kathryn was around. She was an odd sort of child—she seemed more like an adult most of the time. She was reading before she was two and even doing simple math. Kathryn hated to leave her even more after that. She vividly recalled leaving for her last mission. Her mother, Gretchen, and Sarah had accompanied her to the beam-up site. After saying good-bye to her mother, she had tearfully turned to her daughter, feeling as though she was abandoning her. She knelt down to Sarah's level and kissed her gently. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I wish I didn't have to go, but…" She hung her head.

Sarah, ever the sensitive one, reached out and took her mother's face in her little hands. Looking kindly into her mother's face, she said "They need the best." She kissed her mother, hugged her, and then stepped back to allow her to be beamed up.

Jerking herself back to the present, Kathryn dropped her chin into her hands and sighed again. She wanted to have a career in Starfleet, but she also wanted to raise her daughter. That was why she asking the admirals for one year's leave. She was scared that they would reject her request. What would she do then?

Sarah suddenly picked herself up and toddled over to her mother's side. Stroking Kathryn's hair, she said quietly, "Don't worry Mommy. It'll all work out."

"I wish I had your confidence, baby," she replied, affectionately tousling the girl's hair.

"Really mama. It _will _work out. I _know _it will."

Kathryn smiled sadly. "They should be finished debating now. Let's go back in."

Sarah took her mother's hand and followed her back inside the cool, sterile-white building. Their shoes clicked noisily through the near-silent halls. It seemed to take no time at all for them to reach the rather forbidding doors to the conference room where the admirals were debating. Taking a deep breath, Kathryn squeezed her daughter's hand affectionately for courage and pushed open the doors.

The five admirals looked up as they entered. "Captain Janeway," Admiral Gregory Archer greeted her with a nod. She nodded back, her tongue tied by fear that she desperately tried to repress.

"We've reached our decision."

"And?" Kathryn put her hands on her daughter's shoulders.

"Due to your exemplary service and dedication to duty as well as family, we are granting you one year's leave."

Kathryn felt a smile break out over her face. "Thank you sirs."

Sarah tilted her face up to her mother's. Her look plainly said, _See? What were you worrying about?_

Still smiling, Kathryn picked Sarah up and exited the conference room. "C'mon Sarah. We have some catching up to do."

Sarah nestled her face into her mother's shoulder. "Thank you, mama. I know how hard this is for you."

"But it's all worth it, princess. It's all worth it."

_Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed what I have so far. Please review if you can. If you have any criticisms, I'd prefer that you sent them to me in a private message, rather than blare it for the world to see. I should get a second chapter up soon._


	2. Mission

_Disclaimer: All characters, vessels, and science belong to Paramount with the exception of Sarah Janeway, the U.S.S Perry, and anything else that I made up._

Author's Note: Well, I was going to hold off on another chapter until I got more reviews, but since I got four **very **nice reviews and I was in an inspired writing mood, I got a jump-start on the next chapter. Also, just to let everyone know in advance, I'm going episode by episode, occasionally adding in one of my own. These past two chapters are an example. In addition, before I get an inbox swamped with e-mails asking the same question, I'll put the answer right here: **You will NOT find out who Sarah's father is UNTIL towards the end of second season so please be patient. **Just wanted everyone to know. :)

Also, I apologize for any mistakes in regard to Janeway's career timeline and/or child growth and development. I've had to make some changes in order to fit all my new ideas in.

_Anomaly_

'_Mission'_

Kathryn positioned the camera carefully and set it to time delay. "Ready?" she asked Sarah. Her daughter nodded excitedly. "All right then. Here we go!" She depressed the shutter button and ran quickly to her daughter's side, where she knelt down and the two of them put their arms around each other. They both smiled widely as the flash went off and their image was captured.

They both got up and ran to the camera on the ledge to see the picture. "Mama, it's wonderful!!" Sarah exclaimed.

"It certainly is," Kathryn replied. "And it's not just the view."

Sarah grinned up at her mother and impulsively hugged her. "Thank you for bringing me to the Grand Canyon mommy. I love it here!"

Kathryn held her daughter's hand and walked over to the observation area. "You're welcome sweetie. I love it here too." The two of them took in the awe-inspiring vista. "Earth's biggest ditch. That's what your grandpa called it," she said a little wistfully.

Sarah peered up at her mother and held back the bangs that the breeze tried to blow into her face. "You really miss him." It wasn't a question.

"Yes I do."

The little girl sighed. "I wish I could have met him."

"Me too baby." She paused for a moment, remembering when her father had brought her here as a girl. "But there's no use being sad. We're here to have fun, right?"

Sarah nodded. "I think he'd want that, mommy." She paused, then asked shyly, "Can we take a hover car to the bottom?"

"Of course! Let's go!" Kathryn took her daughter's hand and the two of them scurried off to find the hover car line.

Taking a year's leave had been so good for both of them. They had been able to connect like never before. Eager to get as much as possible out of this time off, Kathryn had been taking Sarah everywhere she could think of. She had asked her daughter to make a list of places she wanted to go and was surprised to see the list's length. It had included Hawaii, Ireland, Gettysburg, Kentucky, Japan, Antarctica, Utopia Planetia, Mars, Poland, Denmark, and the list when on and on. All the books that she had been reading had given her an itch to see the places she had read about, and it also provided an opportunity for the two of them to get closer.

Sarah was blissfully happy to spending so much time with her mother—her face glowed and she bounced about with an everlasting smile on her face. Kathryn was thrilled as well. Her daughter was such an amazing child. Almost four years old, she had already become a voracious reader and was also astonishingly proficient at math. She had advanced far beyond other children in her age group and often seemed like an adult trapped in a child's body, but still with that childish innocence.

"Mama?"

Sarah's voice brought Kathryn out of her reverie as they made their way back to the transport that would be taking them home after their amazing hover car ride. "Yes Sarah?"

"Will you listen to me recite a poem?"

"Of course sweetie."

Sarah brushed her hair back from her face and cleared her voice, then started to recite:

"The Raven, by Edgar Allen Poe

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,  
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore--  
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,  
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.  
"'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door--  
only this and nothing more."

Kathryn listened, fascinated, and with every repetition of "Quoth the Raven, 'Nevermore.'", she grew more and more proud of her daughter's passion for literature. It wasn't Kathryn's forte, but she held people with the knowledge of the written arts in highest regard. It wasn't very popular now in the 24th century, but the few who knew its ins and outs were of an elite class.

Sarah recited the final verse and took a bow when Kathryn applauded. "Excellent Sarah! That kind of dedication deserves a reward. How would you like to go on a solar system tour?"

Her daughter's eyes widened and her mouth fell open. "Really mama? Do you really mean it? I only learned 'The Raven' for fun."

"You still memorized all those lines. And I think I can get us passage on a tour ship that leaves within the week. I'll have to leave you with Aunt Phoebe tomorrow so I can pull some strings with a friend of mine."

"Oh mama thank you!" Sarah hugged her mother.

Four weeks passed quickly and suddenly it was June 24. Sarah's fourth birthday. In the time preceding, the two of them had made many more trips together, the highlight of which was the solar system tour. Now they were going to spend the day at home, or at least in Indiana.

The day started off with a pleasant morning breeze blowing through Sarah's bedroom window. It stirred the hair of the still-sleeping child and brushed gently against her cheek. Stretching sleepily, she tumbled out of bed and walked out to the kitchen, still rubbing sleep from her eyes. When she reached the kitchen table, she looked up in surprise to see her mother and grandmother standing by the table. "Happy birthday, Sarah!" they exclaimed, and they moved away to reveal a huge stack of waffles--her favorite breakfast food.

"Oh mama, grandma, thank you!!" she said, delighted.

"I have something else for you," Kathryn said, smiling, and she pulled a small brightly wrapped box, topped by a shiny gold bow, from behind her back. "Go ahead—open it."

"But my party's not until later."

"I know. But this is something special I want you to see right now."

Sarah assented and tore the paper from the box eagerly. "Oh, mama," she breathed as she lifted the gift from its box. It was a book, a real book. More specifically, it was a compilation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes stories.

"I heard you were looking for it when Aunt Phoebe took you shopping the other day. I managed to find a copy."

Sarah ran to her mother and threw her arms about her neck. "Oh mommy, thank you so much! I love it!"

"You're welcome. Now, how about those waffles?"

All three of them sat down to a very satisfying breakfast of waffles and fruit. Sarah piled hers high with whipped cream and peaches, getting as much or more of the whipped cream on herself as she enjoyed her birthday breakfast.

The morning passed quickly with a flurry of party preparations and slightly before lunch, a few of Sarah's close friends showed up at the house, along with Aunt Phoebe. They had a picnic lunch on the lawn, then the little girls played some games and Sarah opened her gifts. She got a book of Shakespeare from Grandma Gretchen, a box of art supplies from Aunt Phoebe, a silver charm bracelet from her friend Rachel, two PADDs with different games on them from her friend Ce'Larin, a camera from her friend Teless, and her friend Peike got her a brown stuffed horse with wild paint markings. This last gift was because of Sarah's increasing obsession with horses. She had seen some on a trip out west with her mother and now couldn't get them out her mind—they fascinated her.

The most amazing gift was from her mother. Sarah pulled an iridescent bow from a flat rectangular box and lifted the lid. Her friends gasped in unison as she pulled out a Starfleet uniform in command red. It was exactly her size. "Oh, you're so lucky!" Peike sighed, fingering the collar.

"Mama…" Sarah was nearly speechless.

"I assumed you were still interested in a career in Starfleet some day. I know it's been a while since you've said anything…"

"Of course I'm still interested!" She hugged the uniform to herself. "I love it! Thank you!"

After the opening of the gifts, the little girls ran around on the lawn, shrieking and bouncing from too much sugar, until their parents arrived to pick them up. After goodbyes, Sarah, Kathryn, and Gretchen had supper on the porch and talked for a while.

Shortly thereafter, Sarah retired to the hammock strung between two trees in the front lawn with her book of Shakespeare and her book of Sherlock Holmes. Gretchen headed off to bed, and Kathryn sat watching her daughter in the porch's big rocking chair. She didn't know how long she was asleep, but what seemed like one second later her mother was urgently shaking her shoulder and calling her name. "Kathryn, there's a communication for you." Her face was troubled.

"Who is it?"

"Admiral Hudson. It doesn't sound good, whatever it is."

Kathryn looked over at the hammock where her daughter was laying with her books, her skinny arms holding up the thick Shakespeare collection.

"Go. I'll keep an eye on her."

"Thanks mom," Kathryn said as she dashed into the house to her small office. She found Admiral Hudson patiently waiting for her on her computer screen. She rubbed sleep from her eyes as she greeted him. "Admiral."

"Captain. I hope I didn't wake you, though I thought twenty-hundred hours was far too early for anyone to be sleeping."

She smiled. "Ordinarily it would be, but my daughter's birthday party was today."

"Ah, I see. How old is she?"

"She turned four today."

"Tell her happy birthday for me." His face darkened. "Captain, we have a problem."

"What is it?"

"The _Val Jean's _gone missing."

Her tired mind had trouble connecting the dots at first. Suddenly, it hit her. "The Maquis ship Tuvok's on?"

"Unfortunately, yes. He hasn't reported in in four days."

Kathryn felt her heart sinking. "What are you going to do?"

"Actually, that's what I contacted you for."

Twenty minutes later, Kathryn crossed the lawn to where her daughter lay sleeping peacefully in the hammock. The stars sparkled in the heavens and crickets chirped calmly as a gentle breeze tousled the leaves of the trees. It would have been an idyllic scene if her heart weren't leaden with indecision.

Sitting carefully next to her daughter's still form, she placed a gentle hand on her forehead. Sarah stirred and wakened, blinking sleepily. "Mama?"

"Sarah, I just got a message from Admiral Hudson. He wants me to cut my leave short to command a mission." Her face betrayed her guilty feelings.

"Mama, we've spent lots of time together. I don't feel deprived. You can go. Your career is important too."

"You always come first."

"I know, but this sounds important. You should take the mission." Sarah gave her that winning little smile of hers. "_Really. _I'll be fine."

Kathryn sighed. "All right. It is an important mission—you remember my friend Tuvok, don't you?"

Sarah nodded.

"He was undercover as a spy on the Maquis ship _Val Jean. _He hasn't reported in for four days. Starfleet is going to have me command the new Intrepid class starship, the _U.S.S. Voyager,_ on a mission into the Badlands to find the _Val Jean._"

The words '_Voyager' _and 'Badlands' exploded in Sarah's mind for some unknown reason and she found herself sitting bolt-upright in the hammock and shrieking "I _have _to go with you!"

Startled, Kathryn asked, "What?"

"I have to go with you on _Voyager!_" Sarah repeated.

"I can turn it down… And besides, this could be dangerous. I don't want you in harm's way."

"No! It doesn't matter. You have to command this ship and I have to go with you!"

Kathryn was shocked. Her daughter never threw fits, yet here she was, pitching one over a command assignment. She had to ask, "Why?"

"I-I-I don't know exactly. I just know I have to go with you." Sarah stuttered.

Her mother sighed. "Sarah, that would take a lot of work. I would really have to pull some strings for them to allow that."

"_Please, _mama. I have to."

"You'd probably have to go in front of a board of admirals again."

Her daughter's eyes flashed. "I can do it."

Under that kind of adamancy, what could Kathryn do? "All right. I'll see what I can do."

Sarah hugged her. "Thank you mama. They'll say yes."

Kathryn hugged her small daughter back. "I hope you know what you're undertaking."

"I do," Sarah whispered. "Just not consciously."

Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Sorry it took so long to write. Also sorry it's such a long chapter—I had a lot of basic information to convey that will help form plots in upcoming installments. Look for some real action in the next chapter! A big thank-you to all the loyal readers!!


	3. Trial

_Disclaimer: All characters, vessels, and science belong to Paramount with the exception of Sarah Janeway, Admiral Nicolas Gates, and anything else that I made up._

Author's Note: A little reminder: **You will NOT find out who Sarah's father is UNTIL towards the end of second season so please be patient. **Just wanted everyone to know. :) And please, if you review, write one for each chapter so I know you read all of them. You can miss a lot if you skip one, and this story's pretty involved. Thanks!!

I apologize for any mistakes in regard to Janeway's career timeline and/or child growth and development. I've had to make some changes in order to fit all my new ideas in.

_Anomaly_

'_Trial'_

Sarah Janeway sat nervously outside the room where her mother once again was asking something for her daughter. She didn't want to be the cause of strife, but somehow, deep down in her soul, she _knew _without a doubt that she absolutely _must _be on that ship when it left for the Badlands. She couldn't have told anyone why—she couldn't even tell herself—but she just knew that she had to.

The door opened partially and her mother's hand beckoned her into the conference room. The little girl's knees shook but she carefully smoothed her long-sleeved red shirt and black slacks and brushed back the small curls that kept trying to escape from her neat ponytail. Trying to appear calm, she walked slowly into the forbidding room.

Her mother patted her shoulder for encouragement and Sarah walked bravely to the front of the table where four admirals sat. "Let's clarify the situation," said Admiral Archer. A little of the apprehension left her. She'd seen him before.

"You are requesting to join your mother on the _U.S.S. Voyager_ when it leaves for the Badlands."

Sarah nodded and replied, "Yes."

Another admiral, an older man with grizzled hair, added, "Are you aware that this mission is of a combat nature and therefore allows for no civilians to be on board?"

"I'm fully aware of the regulations, sirs," Sarah replied, trying to hide her nervousness.

They seemed impressed with her outward demeanor and choice of words and she felt herself slightly relaxing. Somehow, she seemed to know just what to say and felt ready to face anything.

"So you know the regulations, but you are still requesting to be on board?"

"Correct."

"Please explain."

"I'm afraid, sir, that I can't. I just know that I have to be aboard _Voyager _when it leaves."

"Are you sure you don't just want your mother to stay home?"

Sarah shook her head firmly. "No, that's not it all. She needs to be in command and I need to be onboard. I don't know why, exactly, I just know it to be true."

The four admirals turned away from her and talked among themselves for a while. When they turned back, Admiral Sanchez-Peron, a middle-aged man with bright red hair, said, "This is a highly irregular situation."

"I won't be in the way. I could stay in our quarters for the entire mission," Sarah promised, half-pleading.

Admiral Hudson slowly shook his head. "I'm afraid if you can't give us a reason—"

_Oh no, _Sarah thought. _He's going to refuse my request. I thought I knew what to say!_

Just then, the conference room door opened and a male voice was heard to say, "Sorry I'm late. Hope I didn't miss anything."

Sarah heard her mother gasp and she quickly spun around to see who it was. She found herself stunned speechless. _The man with the chess set from Washington, D.C.!_

She was even more surprised to hear her mother address him as Admiral Gates. _No wonder she was shocked, _she thought. Admiral Nicolas Gates was one of the top admirals Starfleet had ever seen. In addition, he was a leading authority on human psychology and a professor at Starfleet Academy. _What's he doing here? _she couldn't help wondering. _And how'd I end up playing chess with him?_

"Ah, Admiral. Good to see you," Admiral Hudson was greeting him.

Gates, however, was ignoring the welcome and was staring at Sarah. She gave him a nervous little smile.

"I know you," he finally said. "You're the little girl who beat me at chess that day in D.C.!"

"Yes sir," she replied.

He turned around to look at her mother. "And Captain Janeway's your mother? I should have known, though I didn't recognize her out of uniform." He shook Kathryn's hand. "That's a fine daughter you've raised, captain."

"Thank you, admiral," she replied, a little startled.

Sarah remembered the day she had met him well. Her mother had taken her to Washington D.C. for part of their vacation together. While she was looking at some maps, Sarah had wandered over to a picnic table where a man was sitting by himself with a chess set. She was somehow drawn to him and asked "Need someone to play with?"

He had looked up from his coffee, a little startled. "How old are you?"

"Almost four."

"You know how to play?"

She nodded.

They began to play. It was much more fun than playing a computer, Sarah realized. She watched her opponent carefully, judging where he was going to move and when. They played quickly, the soft click of the ivory and ebony pieces the only sounds they heard. Eventually, with a look of disbelief on his face, he made the only move he could—a fatal one, for as soon as he pulled his hand from the board, Sarah slipped her piece into place and quietly declared, "Checkmate."

He sat for almost a minute, staring at the board. Sarah bit her lip, afraid he was angry. Suddenly, he burst out laughing and stuck out his hand for her to shake. "Excellent job, young lady! If anyone had told me I was to be beaten at chess by a little girl, I would have said they were crazy."

She smiled and shook his hand. "Thank you for letting me play," she said. "It was fun."

Just then, Kathryn came running up. "I've been looking for you!" she told her daughter. To the man, she said, "I hope she wasn't bothering you."

He responded, "Not at all. Not at all. Thank you for the game!" as the two of them walked off, Sarah waving a goodbye.

And now, The Chess Man, as she'd come to call him in her mind, was standing before her in a Starfleet uniform wearing the admiral's five collar pips.

"Well, have you made a decision yet?" he demanded of the other admirals.

"We had almost decided—" Admiral Hudson began to reply, when Admiral Gates interrupted him.

"Good. I say she goes onboard."

Everyone looked up at him. "What?" Sanchez-Peron asked.

"Sarah is not your average child. At three and a half, she beat me at chess, a game of which I'm considered a master. She has an extremely high I.Q. and maturity level." He looked at her. "She reminds me of a thirty year old trapped in a four year old's body. It wouldn't surprise me if she had a more sensitive sense of intuition." Looking back at the admirals, he concluded, "I really think she should be allowed to go."

Sarah was stunned. A man she barely knew was pleading on her behalf. And by the serious looks the board of admirals was giving each other, he'd made a point.

Finally, they looked up and Admiral Hudson cleared his throat. "Since this is an irregular case with no precedent, we've decided to allow Sarah Janeway to join her mother's mission."

Sarah felt a huge smile come across her face. "Thank you!"

Admiral Sanchez-Peron asked, "You'll stay out of harm's way and not get in the way of the ship personnel?"

"Consider me hidden like a mouse," she promised.

"And your daughter won't interfere with your mission or your command duties?" Admiral Hudson inquired of Kathryn.

"No sir," she responded.

"Good. Now, we have to get you a crew, so if you'll excuse us…" With that, the admirals filed out of the room.

Grinning, Sarah stuck her hand. "Thank you very much, sir."

"My pleasure."

"Yes," Kathryn chimed in. "Thank you."

He waved his hand. "Like I said, not a problem. This young lady is truly unique. I think she knows what she has to do, even if she can't put into words the reason why." Looking Kathryn in the eye, he added, "If you need a reference for her Starfleet Academy admission, don't hesitate to contact me."

He shook Sarah's hand again. "I expect great things from you, Sarah Janeway. I hope to see you again."

As she watched him go, Sarah couldn't help feeling that she had placed herself on a path—a path she didn't know the end to, but one that would shape her destiny and the destiny of those around her.

_Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this installment. Now that you have all the background you need, the next chapter will be 'Caretaker, Part 1'. Exciting, isn't it? Please take the time to write a review, even if it's short. I appreciate all your support!!_


	4. Caretaker, Part 1

_Disclaimer: All characters, vessels, and science belong to Paramount with the exception of Sarah Janeway and anything else that I made up._

Author's Note: Remember-- **You will NOT find out who Sarah's father is UNTIL towards the end of second season so please be patient. **Thanks to everyone that's been reading this. It was pretty cool—I logged my fanfic account and this story had like 700 or so hits. When I logged back on later, it had jumped up to 900+ hits!! And now it's up past 1300+ hits!! Thanks guys!!

_Anomaly_

'_Caretaker, Part One'_

A soft breeze rustled the leaves of the trees in the Federation Penal Settlement in New Zealand as Captain Kathryn Janeway approached a group of inmates hard at work. She tried not to think of Sarah in Indiana, packing her most precious belongings and saying goodbye to her friends, as she resumed an authoritative captain's attitude. This mission was serious business—she had to get back into a commanding presence. There was no time to be caring and motherly.

She approached one man with sandy brown hair and inquired, "Tom Paris?" The man glanced up. _He's so young, _she thought, trying to ignore the ankle monitor he wore. "I'm Kathryn Janeway. I served with your father on the _Al-Batani._ I'd like to speak to you about a job I'd like you to do."

Tom crossed his arms. "I don't know. I'm already doing a job for the Federation," he sarcastically replied.

"The Rehab Commission is very pleased with your work and they've given me permission to discuss the matter with you."

He shrugged indifferently. "Then I guess I'm yours."

Tom followed her to a shaded area and they started to walk. Kathryn could tell it might be struggle to secure his assistance but knew that they needed him. Trying to break the ice, she commented, "I was your father's science officer on the Arias Expedition."

He responded with a partial smile. "You must be good. He only takes the best and brightest."

_Time to cut to the chase, _she thought, and she launched into her story. "We need your help, Tom. My mission is to track down Maquis ship that disappeared in the Badlands a week ago."

He frowned. "I'd advise against it, captain. I've never seen a Federation starship that could maneuver through plasma storms."

"You've never seen _Voyager._"

"Let me guess. You want me to take you to the Maquis."

"That's correct."

"I was only with them for a few weeks. I don't know very many of their hiding places."

"You know the territory better than anyone the Federation has."

Paris crossed his arms and gave the captain a sideways look. "Why that particular ship?"

"My chief of security had infiltrated the ship. He hasn't reported in some time."

"Maybe it's just your security chief who's gone missing."

"Doubtful." Captain Janeway looked at Paris squarely. "The ship was under the command of Chakotay, a former Starfleet officer."

"I knew him," Paris admitted. "But we never got along. Chakotay left Starfleet 'on principle' to defend his home colony. He considered me a mercenary who joined with anyone that would pay my bar bill." He gave a hollow laugh. "And he was right."

Tom got a serious look on his face and turned again to face Kathryn. "I don't have a problem helping you track down the Maquis, but I want to know what's in this for me."

"If you help us find the Maquis, we'll help you at your next outmate review." She replied. "Officially on this mission you'll be a Starfleet observer, nothing more."

Indignantly, Paris replied, "Captain, that's ridiculous! I'm the best pilot you could have!"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Paris. You'll have to be satisfied with observing."

Tom shook his head. "Story of my life."

Two days later, Sarah found herself on a shuttle with her mother headed for Deep Space Nine. She sat up tall in the seat adjacent her mother's, restraining herself from touching the control panel in front of her. She knew she was partaking in an incredible adventure. Almost feeling like a co-pilot, she tried to wait patiently as the shuttle made its way to the station.

Sarah felt eyes on her and turned to see her mother looking at her intently. "What is it mama?" she asked.

Kathryn sighed and looked away. "Nothing I guess."

Sarah was too intuitive for that. "You're worried I'll get hurt, among other things."

"I suppose it's too late to worry about that now."

"Don't worry mama. I promise I'll be careful."

"I know you will sweetie, but the Badlands are dangerous. I feel bad enough taking a crew of strangers in there, let alone my only child."

Sarah reached over and took her hand. "Don't worry. Everything will work out."

Kathryn smiled and squeezed her daughter's hand affectionately. "I believe you. Now, do you want to see the station or go straight to the ship?"

"The ship," Sarah said firmly.

"Then we're here," Kathryn said, carefully piloting the shuttle into view.

Sarah gasped and kneeled on her seat as her mother recited, "The _U.S.S. Voyager_. NCC 74656. Intrepid class. Variable warp nacelle configuration, giving it a sustainable cruising speed of warp 9.975. 15 decks, crew complement of 141. Bio-neural circuitry."

"The bio-neural gel packs help speed up the ship's processes, right?"

"That's right."

Sarah gazed at the sleek little ship in wonder. It was a thing of beauty, built for speed. As she took in the image before her, she suddenly felt slightly nauseas. She could feel her stomach quivering.

"Sarah, what's wrong?" her mother inquired.

"Nothing. I just felt kinda sick." Immediately, Sarah realized what she'd said and slapped a hand over her mouth.

"Then we're going to swing by Sick Bay."

"No! No, mama, please no!" All the color drained from her little face as she backed away from her mother, shaking her head in fear.

"Sarah—"

"Mama, no!"

"I understand," Kathryn told her daughter. "I know how much you hate anything to do with medical places but I don't want you getting sick before we've even left."

Sarah had jammed herself into a tiny space behind her seat and had her hands over her ears and was shrieking, "No, no, no!"

Kathryn sighed. Her daughter was usually a perfect angel but she had two major vices. The first was her aversion to anything medical related, the result of the excessive time she'd had to spend at various medical facilities as a baby. She would throw fits even at the mention of a doctor's office. In that kind of a state, it was impossible to talk to her until she'd yelled herself out. It had been war to get her in for annual physicals.

The second was her stubbornness. If she were convinced that she was right, she absolutely would not budge. She was headstrong when defending her position which could be an admirable trait but wasn't always a good thing, especially in a child.

Now Kathryn ignored the shouts coming from behind her and carefully piloted the shuttle into the shuttle bay. When they were docked, she turned around to find Sarah pale but through with her fit. She knelt down in front of her daughter and quietly said, "Let's go to Sick Bay really quickly and if you're good we'll run up to the Bridge. How's that?"

Sarah looked at the floor, then up at her mother and nodded with a ghost of a smile on her face.

The two left Sick Bay with their luggage, which they quickly dropped off at the Transporter Room to be beamed directly to their quarters. Sarah couldn't even carry hers alone, due to the fact that her bags were stuffed with all her birthday gifts as well as additional favorite toys and books.

As they walked through the corridors to Sick Bay, Sarah craned her neck all around, trying to see everything at once. The ship was obviously brand new. The corridors were huge, bright caverns to the small girl, and the control panels along the walls were a fascinating puzzle. She was so distracted she didn't even notice that they had arrived outside of Sick Bay.

Entering the room, Sarah had a death grip on her mother's wrist but she wasn't yelling which was a good sign. Kathryn called out for the chief medical officer who approached them from his office. "Captain," he greeted her. "What can I help you with?"

"Could you take a quick look at Sarah? She felt a little queasy on the way here."

"Certainly," he said, and he picked up a tricorder and proceeded to take some scans.

Sarah had her hands clenched and her teeth gritted. Her face seemed to say 'do your worst'. She glanced around Sick Bay quickly. The CMO and a Vulcan nurse were the only people in the room. Taking a closer look at them, she suddenly was engulfed by a strange feeling of loss and sadness. Confused, she slightly shook her head as the doctor was saying, "Nothing serious. Just nerves, anxiety. She'll be fine."

"Thank you doctor."

"You're welcome. Captain, while you're here I have a question. I received your medical records, as well as your daughter's. Your daughter's seem to be missing—"

"I know," Kathryn answered shortly. "It's a long story and I really have a lot to do before we depart. I'll explain later."

He nodded, "Acknowledged."

The two of them left Sick Bay and made their way to a turbo-lift and Kathryn instructed it to take them to the bridge. When the doors swished open at their destination, Sarah was awestruck. They stepped out and she got a better look at everything—the conn, the science station, the star-studded view screen, ops, tactical, and the command chairs. It was to these last two that Sarah gravitated. She ran her small hand on the arm of the captain's chair.

Her mother came up behind her and whispered, "Go ahead. No one's looking."

Sarah grinned widely and carefully seated herself. In her freshly pressed red turtleneck, sleek black slacks, polished boots, and carefully French-braided hair, she looked just like a mini Starfleet captain. "Make it so!" she said, in an uncanny imitation of Captain Jean-Luc Picard.

After a few minutes, Kathryn announced that she needed to go to her ready room. Again, for some unknown reason, all the color drained from her daughter's face as the girl touched the armrest of the first officer's chair.

Sternly, Kathryn insisted, "Sarah, you need to get something for that queasiness. Do you remember where Sick Bay is? I really need to get to work."

Sarah nodded.

"Head down there and ask for something to settle your stomach. It'll only take a second and it won't hurt. Can you be a big girl and do that for me?"

"Yes mama," she replied obediently.

However, as she approached the Sick Bay doors once more, she accidentally ran headlong into one of two men who were exiting them. She bounced off him and hit her head on the wall behind her and slid down to a sitting position. Rubbing the sore spot, she looked up and felt herself freeze up. They were officers, two men she'd never seen before in her life. She quickly stammered an apology. "I-I-I'm sorry sirs. It won't happen again, I swear…"

The taller man, a sandy haired, blue-eyed command officer helped her up. "Easy kid. No big deal."

He turned to the Asian operations officer standing next to him and commented, "This isn't a Galaxy class ship, Harry. I didn't realize there would be kids on board."

Sarah said, "I'm the only one, sir." She had snapped to attention.

The tall man's eyes widened. "Hey, easy. We're not going to report you. And you don't have to 'sir' me. I'm just 'an observer'," He stuck out his hand. "Tom Paris."

She shook it, a smile spreading across her face. "I know who you are!"

"You do?" He looked a little nervous.

She nodded.

The Asian man followed suit. "Harry Kim."

Sarah smiled and replied, "Sarah Janeway,"

Now they were quiet. "Uh, the captain's daughter?"

She nodded. For some reason, all her feelings of sickness had disappeared to be replaced with a feeling of destiny. "Are you two going to the bridge?"

They nodded.

"Can I walk with you?"

"Sure," they assented.

Once on the bridge, Sarah followed Harry and Tom to her mother's ready room. She slipped quietly away to sit on the couch as her mother rose to greet the two officers.

"Welcome aboard _Voyager_, gentlemen," Captain Janeway said. She tried to ignore the fact that her daughter was in the room. Now was the time for formality and protocol. As promised, she couldn't let the fact that her daughter was on board interfere with her duties.

Standing at full attention, Ensign Kim stiffly replied, "Thank you, sir." Tom Paris looked at him curiously.

"At ease, ensign, before you sprain something," she replied, trying very hard not to look amused. "In addition, ensign, protocol aside, I don't like being addressed as 'sir'."

"I'm sorry…ma'am."

Captain Janeway smiled. "'Ma'am' is acceptable in a crunch but I prefer 'captain'. If you gentleman would care to follow me to the bridge," she said, gesturing to the door. "Sarah, you can stay for the launch but afterwards you'll have to go to our quarters."

"Thanks," she replied with a winning smile.

_Nice kid, _Tom thought as he followed Harry onto the bridge.

Sarah hung back away from the center of activity as her mother introduced the two men, Tom and Harry, to her first officer, Commander Cavit. He shook hands heartily with Ensign Kim, but shook Tom's very reluctantly and only after Tom stuck out his hand. _That's really rude, _she thought, rather rankled. _No matter what he's done. _

Her mother then showed Kim to the Ops console, where he made the mistake of addressing her as 'ma'am' again. "It's not crunch time yet, Mr. Kim. I'll let you know when," she replied.

At Janeway's nod, Commander Cavit instructed Lieutenat Stadi to lay in their course and clear departure with Operations. Stadi confirmed it as they completed the pre-launch sequence.

At Captain Janeway's command of "Engage," Sarah could have sworn she felt the deck plates move beneath her feet, though she knew it had to be her imagination since the inertial dampers were on. _This is it,_ she thought, feeling excited and scared as the ship departed Deep Space Nine for the Badlands, though she she somehow knew that the Badlands wouldn't be the end of it. _We're on our way. _

Author's Note: Sorry it's soooooooooooooooo long but I had a lot of information to pass along. XD Looks like maybe my version of Caretaker will have to be three parts instead of two. XD


	5. Caretaker, Part 2

_Disclaimer: All characters, vessels, and science belong to Paramount with the exception of Sarah Janeway and anything else that I made up._

Author's Note:

I know—FINALLY, AN UPDATE!!!!

Thanks again to all the loyal readers!! Your reviews are awesome and greatly appreciated!!

Remember-- **You will not find out who Sarah's father is until towards the end of second season. **However, you can message me with guesses. I'm afraid I can't tell you what the pairings are going to be for this story since it would give away some of the plot. However, I would like to get some input in private messages from you guys about what you'd like to see in upcoming episodes. In general, this story will follow the TV show, though I'll add in some new episodes. Only one episode is getting dropped from the series—'Living Witness.' Other than that, everything's going to go **mostly **according to the show, but not exactly, because that would be rather boring. I'm really glad you guys are enjoying reading this as much as I'm enjoying writing it—23 reviews and 2180+ hits is great!!

Also, apologies for skipping quickly through some parts of Caretaker. Unfortunately, I had to do so to even keep this to three parts instead of the usual two. If I hadn't, we'd never move on to Parallax!!

_Anomaly_

'_Caretaker, Part Two'_

The starship _Voyager _began cruising smoothly through space as they left Deep Space Nine. Sarah watched the stars streak by for half a minute before her mother announced, "Commander Cavit, you have the bridge." She gestured at her daughter to follow as she made her way to the turbolift.

Joining her mother in the turbolift, Sarah got one last view of the bridge as the doors slid closed and her mother gave instructions for them to be taken to their quarters. The trip was very quick and they soon found themselves navigating the corridors again. They passed a few crewmembers, to whom her mother nodded. They nodded back, usually giving Sarah an odd look. It wasn't surprising—she was a child on tactical vessel.

Pausing outside a set of doors, Captain Janeway informed her daughter, "These are our quarters. Make sure you can find them again." Sarah looked around, noting the name by the door and the door's relative position compared with nearby control panels and such.

"I can find them again," she confidently assured her mother.

"Good," Kathryn replied, and they entered their quarters. They entered into a living room of sorts, complete with a couch, an end table, and a replicator unit on the wall, near which was another table apparently meant to serve as a sort of kitchen table. Sarah followed her mother into the next room, a bedroom. A double size bed, Starfleet standard, stood with its head against the long window that ran the length of the room. Six feet away and parallel to it was a single bed, somewhat smaller than the first.

"Our beds," Kathryn said unnecessarily. Sarah ran over to the smaller one and sat on it, bouncing, to test its comfort value. Laughing, she collapsed backward on it.

"I like it!"

"I'm glad," Kathryn smiled. "They had to put it in here rather hurriedly. Now over here you'll find our bathroom. Everything's there—toilet, sink, sonic shower."

Sarah hopped off the bed and ran to see the bathroom. "Oh, the sink's so pretty!" she exclaimed. The part that caught the water was made of clear stones and was rather attractive. "But I don't know about that sonic shower," she added. She had only ever had baths.

"You'll get used to it," her mother told her. "Now, Sarah, I need you to listen very carefully." She led her daughter back out to the living room and knelt down to face her at eye level. "You're allowed to go to the Mess Hall but other than that you need to be here. I only want you to come to the bridge if there's a big emergency. By big, I mean huge and dangerous. Ok?"

Sarah nodded seriously. "I understand mama."

Kathryn Janeway hugged her daughter affectionately. "Go ahead and unpack. I have to get back to the bridge now."

Sarah watched her mother leave, getting a small knot of dread in her stomach as she did. Shaking it off, she scampered off to their bedroom and began to pull things from her duffel bag. Much of the weight came from the multitude of books she had brought along. One at a time, she carefully transferred them to the bookshelf that her mother had requested for their quarters. _Sherlock Holmes, Shakespeare, The Black Stallion, Harry Potter, The Belgariad, The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy _and numerous other titles stood neatly side-by-side on the shelves. Turning her back to the books, she pulled her art set, PADDs, and camera from the bag and then placed them carefully on top of the bookshelf. Her stuffed horse, which she had named Paint Voyager in honor of the ship, was produced from the bag along with a very mashed up and battered pillow—her favorite pillow that she took on every trip. These last two she carefully put on her bed and stepped back to survey the effect.

Nodding to herself in approval, she grabbed her camera and snapped a quick picture of the bedroom and the living room since she intended to make a scrapbook of this trip. When she had finished, she stood, uncertain what to do next. Her stomach growled, giving her a hint. The question was, should she eat something from the replicator here or should she head to the Mess Hall? She thought carefully. She _was_ allowed to go to the Mess Hall, and it would give her an excuse to see some more of the ship. A mischievous little grin broke out on her face. No one had said that she couldn't take her time getting there.

Sarah could understand her mother's logic in restricting her mostly to their quarters and she could respect her reasons but one little sight seeing trip couldn't hurt anything. Swearing to herself that she would remain unobtrusive, she slipped quietly into the corridor.

She tried not to look too excitedly at the control panels and other features in the halls but rather tried to appear matter-of-fact as she made her way to a turbolift. She passed two crewmen who gave her questioning glances but didn't stop her.

Inside the turbolift, she eagerly commanded the Computer, "Mess Hall." She shivered with thrill when it beeped in acknowledgement. All too quickly, the doors slid back open and she exited on another deck. Walking happily down the corridor, she observed several other crewmembers headed for the large double doors of the Mess Hall and slipped quietly behind them. She paused just over the threshold, looking for someone she recognized. Luckily, she spotted Lieutenant Paris standing at the replicator looking somewhat irritated.

Sarah walked over shyly and heard him order "Plain tomato soup!"

Ever the helpful one, the Computer asked, "Hot or chilled?"

Exasperated, he yelled "Hot! Hot, plain tomato soup!" A bowl of it appeared in the replicator and he grabbed it gratefully.

"Replicator food's not all that great," she warned him.

Tom jumped, nearly spilling his hot soup on the small girl.

"Sorry," she said quickly.

"It's fine kid," he replied. "Thanks for the heads-up." He suddenly felt eyes on him and looked up to see Harry Kim sitting at a table with Commander Cavit and the ship's CMO. The latter two were giving him judgmental looks from the corners of their eyes while talking to Harry. Feeling resigned, he took his tray over to their table. Cavit and the CMO beat a hasty retreat.

"See?" he asked as he sat down. "I told you it wouldn't take long."

"Is it true?" Harry asked. "Did you really cause the accident that killed those officers?"

"Yes. Pilot error."

"And did you really falsify reports?"

"Keep your voice down," Tom said, watching as little Sarah Janeway seated herself two tables away. "Yes, I did."

"What made you turn yourself in and tell the truth?"

Sarcastically, Tom replied, "The ghosts of those three dead officers came to me in the middle of the night and taught me the true meaning of Christmas." Taking a sip of the soup, he choked and remarked, "They can't even get plain tomato soup right. The kid knows what she's talking about."

Standing up to leave, he looked Harry squarely in the eyes. "Look, I know Cavit and the CMO told you to stay away from me. And you know what? They're probably right. You should listen to them." He looked up to see Sarah watching him. "That goes for you too, kid," he told her. "I'm not exactly a good luck charm."

He had turned his back to the two of them and started to walk away when Harry said, "I don't need anyone to choose my friends for me."

Sarah spoke up, wise beyond her years. "Bad choices don't make you a bad person."

Tom had opened his mouth to express gratitude to both of them when his commbadge chirped. "Janeway to Paris and Kim. Report to the bridge immediately. We have reached the Badlands."

Hurriedly, he called out, "Thanks kid," and ran with Harry for the turbolift.

At the word 'Badlands', Sarah's heart had leapt into her throat so she merely waved as Tom and Harry hurried off to the bridge. Quickly, she finished her crust-less grilled cheese sandwich and ran to the turbolift herself to get to the safety of her quarters.

Tom and Harry, meanwhile, were exiting the turbolift on the bridge. Captain Janeway, Cavit, and Rollins were all crowded around the tactical station, trying to ascertain the location of the Maquis raider. "Mister Paris, any idea where they might be hiding?" Janeway asked.

Frowning thoughtfully, Tom looked over the data they had. Finally, he pointed and explained the phenomenon that allowed the Maquis ships to hide from sensors, as well as suggesting a way to detect the _Val Jean_.

Janeway nodded. "Do it," she called out to Harry. Another command to Stadi and the ship entered the volatile region.

In the quarters she shared with her mother, Sarah sat up on the couch where she had been reclining with one of her favorite books, _The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy_. The view outside the window by the couch was no longer a pristine black and white star field but rather a boiling mass of pinkish clouds and occasional electrical discharges. They were in the Badlands.

On the Bridge, Harry Kim interrupted Janeway's conversation with Tom Paris. "Captain, the sensors are reading a coherent tetryon beam scanning the ship."

Captain Janeway frowned. "Can you identify the source?"

Harry's fingers raced over his control panel. "No, captain."

_Delta Quadrant! _The words manifested themselves in Sarah's mind without her knowing where they came from. They simply appeared out of thin air. Nervously, she eyed the ominous view of the Badlands. _What's going on?_

"Captain," Harry Kim said, trying to sound calm. "Sensors are reading a displacement wave fast approaching."

"We might be able to disperse the wave with a graviton particle wave," Commander Cavit suggested.

The captain nodded. "Do it," she said. "Stadi, get the ship away from the wave, full impulse."

"Aye captain," Stadi said, raising her voice over the various alarms that, upon detecting imminent danger, had begun to loudly voice warnings. Fingers flying over the console, she tried to coax more speed from the sleek vessel. Despite her best efforts, the wave was just too fast. "We can't outrun it! Collision in twenty seconds!"

"All hands, brace for impact!" Captain Janeway yelled. _What have I done?!? _she thought desperately. _I'm not only going to be responsible for the deaths of my crew but also for my daughter's death!_

Sarah felt impending doom in the air. She began to shake, and then to cry. She never cried.

"Ten seconds!"

_Why did I insist I come along, _Sarah thought desperately. _Why?_

The impact badly jarred the ship, making it shudder and buck. The force of the collision threw Captain Janeway across the bridge as alarms wailed and red lights flashed. She barely had time to register other crewmembers being thrown around like rag dolls before her head made painful contact with the floor and she blacked out.

As small as she was, Sarah didn't stand a chance against the force of the impact. The deck heaved and rolled as the ship spun out of control, inertial dampers unable to compensate. She screamed as the force hurled her from the couch to the wall. Her head slammed against the surface first, instantly making her pass out.

When she came to, her head felt heavy and her neck hurt. She could taste the slippery alkaline taste of blood and her eyes were crusted shut with tears. Her whole body ached as though she'd been beaten with a heavy stick. Putting a hand to her head, she pulled it away quickly in pain and found her palm covered with blood. She wiped her hand on the floor and painfully picked herself off the floor. The lights had been replaced with the glowing red flashes of a red alert. Wires and other essential ship equipment hung from a hole in the ceiling. She had somehow lost her socks and her hair had been partially pulled from her braid. She looked out the window and gasped. They weren't in the Badlands anymore, and the stars weren't right for the open space near them. Where were they?

_The Delta Quadrant._ The thought jumped into her head again. _That can't be, _she thought frantically. _That's on the other side of the galaxy! _Frightened, she started to cry again. _I think this qualifies as a big emergency. _

She anxiously made her way out into corridor, not even noticing when the metal fragments lying on the floor cut her bare feet. Dodging flying sparks from control panels and stumbling in the darkness, she had only one thought—to get to her mother.

On the bridge, Captain Janeway came to amid low wailing alarms and the smell of burnt circuitry. She slowly and painfully managed to stand. Holding her head as the room spun, she noticed Commander Cavit sprawled on the deck near his chair. She knelt down and felt his wrist for a pulse. There was none. He was dead.

She closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them again, she noticed Tom Paris checking on Stadi. "How is she?" she asked, dreading the answer.

"She's dead," came the solemn response.

_Sarah! _she thought in a panic. _Did she survive?_

The sudden swish of the turbolift, surprisingly enough apparently undamaged, interrupted her thoughts. She snapped her head around and was shocked to see that the occupant was her daughter. Shock turned to horror as Sarah stepped from the turbolift and she could see a large, angry red cut slashed across her forehead. The entire left side of her face was bruised and she moved stiffly, evidence that she possibly had more than surface injuries.

Unable to restrain herself, Kathryn ran to her sobbing daughter, not even wasting time on the stairs but rather climbing under the railing. "Sarah! You're alive!" She gathered her little girl in her arms, shuddering at the bloody smudges that her daughter had left on the carpet.

"I knew this was going to happen," the small child choked out. "Somehow I knew! We're never going to get home!"

"Sarah, calm down. What are you talking about?"

With tearstained eyes, her daughter informed her in a quavering voice, "We're in the Delta Quadrant."

Icy fear settled in Captain Janeway's stomach. Nervously, hoping her daughter was merely hysterical, she called out, "Where are we, Mr. Kim?"

"If the sensors are working correctly, captain," he said disbelievingly, "We're 70,000 lightyears from where we were." He looked at her anxiously. "We're in the Delta Quadrant."

Eyes wide, she turned back to her daughter. "How did you know?" she asked in a whisper.

"I don't know," came the trembling reply. "I just knew."

Listening to the damage reports come in, Kathryn stood up. "Sarah, go to Sick Bay and then back to our quarters."

Frantically, Sarah ran forward and grabbed at her mother's pant leg. "No, please don't make me go! I don't want to be alone." Her voice cracked in fear. "I'll live. Others might not be so lucky. I don't need to go to Sick Bay." The look on her face showed that her stubborn streak was coming to light again.

Her mother shut her eyes against all the chaos for a moment. What was the point in arguing? It would just waste time. "All right," she conceded. "But stay out of the way. I can't be a mother right now. I have to be the captain."

Sarah nodded and hurried to fit herself into the infinitesimal space behind the captain's chair.

"Mr. Kim," Captain Janeway called out. "Damage report!"

"Hull breach, deck fourteen. Communications to engineering are down, currently trying to reestablish."

"Get repair crews to seal off the breach."

"Aye captain."

"Casualty reports coming in," another crewmember spoke up. "Sick Bay is not responding."

"Bridge to Sick Bay." Captain Janeway paused, listening for an answer. There was none. "Doctor, can you hear me?" Still nothing.

"Captain," Harry Kim said uncertainly. "There's something out there."

"I'm going to need more information than that, ensign," she replied, restraining herself from sounding frustrated.

"I'm reading…I'm not sure what I'm reading."

"Can we get it on screen?"

"I'm trying." A blurry image shook and wavered on the screen. After a few seconds, Harry had cleared it of most of the static and everyone could see an array of some sort with gigantic arms extending into space. Every few seconds it dispersed an energy pulse into the distance.

"I also found the Maquis ship, captain, but I'm not reading any life signs," Harry added.

Eyes fixed on the image of the alien structure, Captain Janeway said "Try hailing the array."

Suddenly, there came another voice. "Engineering to bridge. We suffered major damage down here. The Chief's dead. We're facing the possibility of a warp core breach."

Sarah's eyes widened from her hiding place.

Kathryn closed hers for a moment before beginning to snap out orders. "Secure all engineering systems. I'm on my way. Any response from the array?"

"No captain."

"In that case, Ensign Kim, get down to Sick Bay and see what's going on. Rollins, you have the bridge." As she headed for the turbolift, Sarah ran to join her, a silent solemn shadow. Since there was no time to waste on arguments and her daughter seemed to have some sort of advance knowledge, she said nothing. If the warp core breached, it wouldn't matter where on the ship the small girl was.

Paris and Kim entered Sick Bay to find the doctor and medical staff dead. The room was crowded with injured crewmen, a chaotic dark cavern. As Tom helped an ensign to a biobed, Harry Kim called out, "Computer, activate the Emergency Medical Hologram." The holographic doctor, Starfleet's emergency program, appeared.

He calmly requested, "Please state the nature of the medical emergency."

Kim replied, "The ship's doctor is dead, as is the nurse. You're the only medical officer on board."

Picking up a medical tricorder and heading for a patient with severe burns, he recited his pre-programmed response, "A replacement doctor must be acquired as soon as possible."

Exchanging a look with Harry, Tom replied, "I'm afraid you're going to be stuck with us for a while."

Meanwhile, Captain Janeway and her daughter had made it to Engineering where the state of chaos was about the same as in Sick Bay. Sarah crawled under a command console, drawing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs to make herself as small as possible though it hurt her upper body to do so.

Lieutenant Joe Carey came running over to the captain. "Captain, there's a micro-fracture in the warp core. A breach is imminent."

"Can we lock down the magnetic restrictor coil?" she asked, surveying the warp core.

"Yes, but if we do so, we might not be able to initialize the dilithium reaction. That would make warp drive impossible."

Listening to the alarms screaming and seeing the dangerous readings on the control panel before her, she responded, "It doesn't look like we have much of a choice. Engage the magnetic constrictor."

"Aye, captain."

She watched as he carefully initiated the procedure. After several tense seconds, he announced, "The pressure's beginning to stabilize."

Kathryn let out the breath she didn't know she had been holding.

Suddenly, a crewman on the other side of the room called out, "We're being scanned with some kind of—"

At Sarah's startled yell of fright, Kathryn whipped her head around to find people disappearing in orange flashes of light. As she watched her daughter disappear with them, she tried to shout out but found herself disappearing as well.

When she could see again, she was shocked to find herself, as well as her crew, standing in the yard of a farmhouse. A woman suddenly emerged from the house. "I'm Aunt Adah," she said. "Why don't ya'll come on up to the house and have some lemonade and sugar cookies?"

A little rattled, Captain Janeway pulled out her tricorder and took some readings. "Don't be fooled," she called out to her crew. "We've only been transported 100 kilometers. We're inside the array. This is a holographic program of some sort."

Before any of the crew or any of the holographic characters could do anything more, a bloodcurdling scream came from a distance. It took a second for the captain to realize it was her daughter's voice.

Her mouth went dry as she and several crewmembers ran towards the sound. _Sarah! Not again!_

They traced the source of the noise to a big old barn. The holograms tried to deny them access, but they forced their way in. Once inside, they found Sarah collapsed on a pile of hay. Kathryn tried to run to her, but 'Aunt Adah' appeared and blocked her way. "We already tested her," she said. "She's too young and she doesn't have what he needs. The rest of you might." A flash of orange light and the small girl had disappeared.

Opening her mouth to protest and inquire what she meant by her cryptic speech, 'Aunt Adah' interrupted, saying, "Since no one wants any sugar cookies, we'll get on with it." The back barn wall flickered and disappeared to reveal a medical-looking room, where the entire crew of the _Val Jean _lay on some kind of beds with probes stuck in them. The _Voyager _crew barely had time to gasp before they found themselves in the same place.

On _Voyager_, Sarah Janeway was lying limply on the floor in engineering. She had just regained consciousness but was too weak to do more than stare at the ceiling with her good eye. The other was swollen shut. Her untreated injuries seemed to be compounding.

_Maybe I should have gone to Sick Bay, _she thought dimly, trying not to breathe too hard. Her ribs ached horribly. _Maybe it's not so great that I can ignore my injuries for a while. _She barely noticed the flashes of orange light that signaled the return of the crew.

Kathryn Janeway slowly picked herself up off the floor in Engineering, listening to the moans of her crewmembers. Holding her head, she called out, "Janeway to bridge."

She was relieved to hear a response. "Rollins here, captain."

"Rollins, how long were we aboard the array?"

"If the ship's chronometer is correct, three days."

"Three days?" she repeated disbelievingly. Suddenly, she spotted her daughter lying still beneath a console. "Rollins, you have the bridge. I'll be there as soon as I can. Janeway out."

She gathered her daughter in her arms. Her bruised face was worse, one eye was swollen shut, her chest seemed to be very sore, and she seemed to be drawing breath only with effort. "I think it's time for you to go to Sick Bay now," she told the little girl. There was no protest.

The EMH was none too pleased. "This child should have been here three days ago!"

"Circumstances were somewhat non-conducive, doctor," Janeway replied dryly, watching him scan her daughter. "How bad is she?"

His face was neutral as he read off ailments. "Bruises, cuts, lightly fractured wrist, bruised ribs. She'll be fine in a minute."

She held her daughter's good hand as the Doctor treated her injuries. "There. She'll need to take it easy for a while, though."

Kathryn nodded. Leaning over her daughter who was gingerly feeling her wrist and ribs, she said "I need to get to the bridge."

Sarah sat up and slid from the biobed and stood at her mother's side. "I need to go with you." Her face had resumed its earnest, honest expression. She seemed to be adjusting to their situation quite rapidly.

The EMH protested. "She needs rest!"

Kathryn waved her hand. "It's all right, doctor." She motioned for her daughter to follow her and the two of them departed Sick Bay, leaving a confused and frustrated EMH blustering behind them.

Captain Janeway hurried from the turbolift on to the bridge. "Is everyone back?" she asked.

"The computer reports everyone here except for one crewmember. Ensign Harry Kim."

She whipped around to face the viewscreen. "Hail the Maquis ship," she ordered.

A handsome man with raven-black hair, calm brown eyes, and an honest face adorned with a tattoo on his forehead appeared on the screen. It took a second for her to realize it was the Maquis captain, Chakotay.

_I expected him to look more like felon,_ she thought. It took her only a second to regain her train of thought. "I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway," she said.

"Captain Chakotay," the man replied, nodding.

"Captain, we're missing a crewman. Was he beamed to your ship by accident?"

Chakotay conversed over his shoulder with someone. When he turned around, he replied, "No. In fact, one of our own crewmembers is missing."

Trying to be diplomatic, though her mission had been or still was to capture these outlaws, she said, "It sounds like we have the same problem. It would make sense to work together to solve it."

Slowly, Chakotay nodded. "Agreed. Three of us will beam over to your ship. Chakotay out."

Kathryn stepped back to sit in her command chair. She didn't know if these Maquis could be trusted, but what choice did she have? She looked over at Sarah, seated near the railing adjacent to her chair. Her daughter looked at her, surprisingly smiling.

"Don't worry. You can trust them," she said. "I have a good feeling about them."

Sighing, her mother stared off into space. "Let's hope your good feeling is right."

Sarah nodded. "Beyond a shadow of a doubt."

Author's Note: Again, sorry for the extensive length!! I hope you enjoyed this installment. Sorry it took so long to get posted. Also, sorry for 'fast-forwarding' through some parts and dwelling on others and if some of this stuff doesn't match up with the episode, I'm sorry as well. There should be more action and more 'Sarah' interaction with the crew to highlight the anomaly that she is. Hope you enjoyed!! Leave lots of reviews!!


	6. Caretaker, Part 3

_Disclaimer: All characters, vessels, and science belong to Paramount with the exception of Sarah Janeway and anything else that I made up._

Author's Note: Yay—another chapter!! I'm really having fun with this and it's easy to write, since I simply write myself in as Sarah, only much younger and more intuitive and 'genius-y'. This is, after all, a sort of 'novelization' of my dream. I seriously think I'm addicted to Star Trek: Voyager. XD I really do think that I'll write every Voyager episode, though it will take forever. In addition, I'll be putting episodes of my own in, so I'm going to be writing upwards of 170 episodes. I'll probably have to really shorten some episodes if you want to read all of them within the next decade. But hey, it'll be fun!!

I apologize in advance for any mistakes made, especially regarding the Cardassians and Starfleet, but also with how the episode's supposed to run—unfortunately, I do not have _Caretaker _on tape/DVD.

I _had_ to add the song—it's such an awesome song and it fit the story so well it just had to be included! I may add some other songs into future episodes. There seem to be several that will enhance my plot line.

Oh, and a little post script: I'm having a contest of sorts. If you correctly guess who Sarah's father is, I will add you into an episode as a character. Fun, eh? Private message me with your guesses. If there is more than one winner, I will write each of you into an episode. Have fun and good luck!!

_Anomaly_

'_Caretaker, Part Three'_

Captain Janeway fidgeted nervously in her chair as she waited for the Maquis to beam over. Did their sudden arrival in the Delta Quadrant make her mission null and void? Secretly, in a hidden corner of her soul, she'd harbored a covert pity for the Maquis for quite some time. The Cardassians were evil, horrible people and Starfleet hadn't done very much to help the Bajorans or the colonists under attack by the Cardassians.

She glanced at her daughter, seated unobtrusively near the captain's chair, one arm draped casually around the railing support. She seemed totally confident and assured of the situation. _Where is she getting these premonitions?_ her mother wondered._ I wish I knew what she knows. _

A sudden flash of light and the low whine of a transporter signaled the arrival of the Maquis. Captain Janeway got to her feet, as did her daughter and a number of the bridge crew as they materialized on the bridge. The three of them appeared with their backs to each other, a classic defensive position, and each one was tightly holding a weapon. Only the dark-skinned Vulcan lowered his.

"Watch out captain! They're armed!" called out Rollins, pulling a phaser and starting towards the captain. Half the bridge crew had pulled phasers as well.

"Put your weapons down!" she yelled to her crew. They obeyed, reluctantly.

Sarah bit her tongue to keep from calling out Tuvok's name. With more courage than she had even expected of herself, she stepped towards the still-armed Maquis.

"You won't need those here," she said calmly and quietly.

Chakotay, in shock, found himself staring into the emerald green eyes of a small, dark-haired, barefooted girl. She looked back at him, completely calm, from the end of his phaser. Slowly, cautiously, he lowered it. "If you don't mind me asking, captain," he inquired. "Why is there a child onboard if you were sent to find an enemy ship?"

"It's a long story," Captain Janeway responded. "I can't go into detail now." She smiled at the Vulcan. "It's good to have you back, Tuvok."

Chakotay turned disbelievingly to him as Tuvok told him, "I must inform you, sir, that I was assigned to infiltrate your crew. I am Captain Janeway's chief of security."

With a face of stone, Chakotay responded, "Were you going to deliver us into their waiting hands, Vulcan?"

"My mission was to accumulate information on Maquis activities, and then 'deliver you into their waiting hands.' That is correct."

At that moment, Chakotay spotted Tom on the upper level of the bridge. "I see you had help," he said coldly. He jerked a thumb in Tuvok's direction. "At least he was doing his duty as a Starfleet officer. But you…you betrayed us for what? Freedom from prison? Latinum? What was your price this time?"

Sarah could feel the rising tensions around her and didn't like it. Determinedly, she placed herself before the Maquis captain who had raised his voice and taken half a step towards Tom. She ignored the fact that he was about six times her size. "Stop it," she said firmly. "This isn't helping us find Ensign Kim or your lost crew member."

Incredulously, Chakotay looked down at the stubborn little girl blocking his path. Captain Janeway joined her, gently moving her away and adding, "You're speaking to a member of my crew. I expect you to treat him with the same respect as you would have me treat a member of yours." Her calm voice bordered on a dangerous warning. "I suggest we all concentrate on recovering our people and getting ourselves back home."

Tuvok moved to Janeway's side and reported, "Based on my initial reconnaissance, Captain, I'm convinced that we are dealing with a single entity aboard the array. I believe that he scanned our computers in order to select a comfortable holographic environment. In effect, a waiting room to pacify us, prior to biometric assessment."

Captain Janeway frowned. "An…examination?"

"Precisely. Why else would be released unharmed?"

"Not all of us were," Tom countered. "So that leaves the question: what would pique the interest of an advanced alien being in a Maquis and a green Starfleet officer?"

"Whatever the answer is," Chakotay responded, "It's down on that Array."

"That's where we're going now," Janeway announced. "Tuvok, break out the phaser compression rifles. Meet us in Transporter Room Two in half an hour. We'll divide into two teams. Chakotay and I will look for Kim and…"

"Torres," he supplied.

"Your job is to learn as much about this array as you can."

"Aye, captain," Tuvok replied, looking at the structure dubiously.

"It brought us here," she said courageously. "We have to assume it can send us back."

Sarah's face was dark. "Something's telling me the array isn't the answer. And you won't need those phaser rifles."

Chakotay couldn't stand it any longer. "As far as I knew, children weren't allowed on the bridge of a starship. Who _are _you?" He'd never encountered a child quite like this girl.

She turned her small face up to face him. "Sarah Janeway," she said passively.

His eyes flicked up to meet Captain Janeway's.

"Yes, she's my daughter," Kathryn affirmed. "As I said before, it's a long story that I don't have time to tell right now. We need to get going."

"Agreed," Chakotay nodded.

Captain Janeway pulled her daughter aside and knelt down before her. "Sarah, I need you to go back to our quarters and wait for me there."

Surprisingly, there was no resistance. Her daughter merely nodded. Kathryn had been prepared for an insistence that she _had_ to go with them, to which she would have refused. At some point there had to be boundaries and she was putting the limit at joining dangerous away missions.

Quietly, she asked, "Do you know something we don't about what's going on?"

Sarah shook her head. "No, there's nothing now."

Kathryn quickly dropped a kiss on her daughter's forehead. "Stay in our quarters and be careful."

"You too," the young girl whispered, heading for the turbolift. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Captain Janeway waited until the turbolift doors had swished closed, then snapped back to command mode. "Let's go," she told the Maquis.

Less than five minutes later, she found herself back on _Voyager_. The strange old man playing the banjo had summarily dismissed them and given them no information on their missing crewmembers. Upon her return, she ordered a course laid in and engaged for the fifth planet in the system where the Array was still sending energy pulses. Once it had been done, she turned over the bridge to Rollins and hurried to her quarters to check on her daughter.

When she entered the room, it was a mess. Clothes, books, furniture, and pictures were scattered about the floor. She picked up her daughter's copy of _To Kill A Mockingbird_ and carefully brushed debris from it. Suddenly, she became aware of the sound of sniffling from the bedroom. She hurried in, where she found Sarah curled in a miserable ball on her mother's bed, crying as though her heart would break.

"Oh, Sarah," she said as she hurried to her daughter's side. "What is it?"

In between tears came a strangled reply. "On the bridge, it was like I was running on someone else's courage. When I came back here, I truly realized what's happened. I'm so scared." More sobs cut off further words.

Kathryn sat behind her daughter and gently pulled her into her lap. Stroking Sarah's hair, she called out, "Computer, music selection. Time: 21st century. Artist: Phil Collins. Title: You'll Be In My Heart. Vocals at 50."

The computer beeped and processed her request. She felt Sarah stir as the opening strains of guitar sounded. Taking her daughter's hand in her own, she softly began to sing.

"_Come stop your crying, it will be all right. Just take my hand, hold it tight. I will protect you from all around you. I will be here, don't you cry..."_

Kathryn sang with heart, just as she always did. As the song ended, Sarah turned a grateful, tearstained face to her mother and gave her small smile. Kathryn smiled back. She'd never thought much of her singing, but when she'd discovered that particular song when Sarah was a baby, she had found that she was actually fairly good at it. From that point on, she had sung it to her daughter whenever she had needed comfort.

The two of them then proceeded to tidy their quarters. When they had finished, Sarah extracted a promise from her mother that she wouldn't leave her all alone and together they returned to the bridge.

Now freshly clad in a new red shirt, black pants, socks and boots, Sarah was able to blend in more as she made herself small near her mother's chair, sitting cross-legged on the floor. She looked curiously at the viewscreen, which displayed large pieces of floating space debris.

"Captain," Tuvok called out. "I'm reading a small vessel inside the debris field."

"On screen," Kathryn ordered.

A small, grey compact ship, probably a cargo vessel, appeared before their eyes. "They might be able to tell us where our people are," she mused. "Hail them."

"They are responding," Tuvok said, then channeled the response to the screen. A short, portly, furry man appeared on the screen.

"Go away!" he demanded. "This is _my _debris field!"

"I assure you, sir, we want nothing with your debris field," Kathryn said calmly. "I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation starship _Voyager_."

At that, he calmed down. "I'm Neelix of the Talaxian cargo ship _Baxial_. I must say, captain, that's quite an impressive title you have. I have no idea what it means, but it's very impressive." He was starting to smile.

Sarah couldn't hold back a grin. This man wasn't the gruff type—in fact, he was just the opposite. That wasn't a premonition, either. It was obvious.

"Mr. Neelix, I was wondering if you could help us," Captain Janeway said, cutting to the chase. She quickly outlined their situation. "Do you know where our officers might be?"

"It sounds like they may have been taken to the Ocampa homeworld. There's a city deep below the surface. I can guide you there in exchange for…" he said hesitatingly.

"For what?"

"For…for water?"

Captain Janeway sighed, relieved. "Certainly. If you help us, you can have all the water you want."

His face brightened visibly.

_Definitely not the gruff type, _Sarah thought.

"Thank you, Mr. Neelix. We'll beam you aboard our ship and put your ship in our shuttle bay."

The Talaxian's face was puzzled. "Beam?" he asked questioningly.

Kathryn smiled. "You'll see. Tuvok, meet our guest in Transporter Room Two."

When at last they reached the fifth planet, Sarah, Chakotay, Paris, Neelix, Tuvok, and Captain Janeway gathered in the transporter room. As she watched them prepare to leave, her stomach clenched with anxiety. "Be extremely careful," she cautioned. "I don't like this. Something's not right."

"We'll keep our eyes open," her mother assured her. Turning to the others, she asked, "Ready?"

"Ready," Chakotay answered, sliding a phaser into his side holster. The others did the same and nodded.

As a group, they climbed onto the transporter pad. "Energize," Janeway said resolutely. Sarah nervously watched the group disappear in an azure sparkle of molecules. Resigning herself to the fact that she would merely have to wait for them to come back, she seated herself with a sigh on the step that led to the transporter pad.

Time passed slowly. She fidgeted, nervously twisting her hands together. She suddenly noticed the transporter officer, a lieutenant from the science department, watching her closely. The woman looked away when Sarah's eyes sought hers. Her commbadge chirped and she quickly completed the requested transport of the containers of water.

After the officer completed her task, the small girl spoke up. "Did I do something wrong?" Sarah asked timidly.

The woman looked back at her. "No," she said slowly. "I just…I just don't understand why you're aboard this ship. What are you, five years old?"

"Four," Sarah corrected. "And even I don't understand what I'm doing here. I just knew I had to come along."

"A…sixth sense?"

"Something like that."

The woman seemed satisfied with the answer.

Feeling somewhat awkward, Sarah formally introduced herself. "I'm Sarah Janeway."

Looking a little startled, the lieutenant replied, "Lieutenant Natalie Green. You're the captain's daughter? Well, I'm sure that helped you get onboard."

"Not as much as you might think," Sarah countered.

They passed a few minutes with some superficial conversation. Suddenly, the panicked voice of Captain Janeway ordered frantically over the comm channel, "Lieutenant, beam us out now!"

Natalie Green, with expertise born of years and years of training, had her fingers dancing over the panel before Captain Janeway's last word had faded from hearing. Sarah Janeway had sprung to her feet and whipped around to face the transporter pad in as little time.

As her mother, the _Voyager _crewmembers, the Maquis, the furry alien, and a battered young woman who could only be from the planet's surface shimmered into view, Sarah's quick eyes noticed several things. Everyone's uniform was covered in a sandy dust and splattered with water. They had their phasers drawn and looked very on-edge. Obviously there had been an altercation of some sort.

Her mother sought her out but before she could say anything, the Talaxian turned to the new woman and said, "You see, my sweet? I told you I would rescue you!"

Sarah stared in disbelief, as did everyone else. _He used us, _she thought.

Later on in Sick Bay, she learned that the woman's name was Kes and that she was an Ocampan. _So he didn't completely deceive us, _she thought. Her mother had given her a brief overview of what had happened on the surface, including an encounter with a race known as the Kazon and a particularly unpleasant man known as Jabin. The holographic doctor was tending to Kes's many injuries as her mother spoke with her about finding Kim and Torres.

"Is there any way to get to them?" Captain Janeway asked.

"The passages are blocked by solid rock," Kes said in her gentle, quiet way. "You won't be able to get through."

"Our transporter technology can get us through," Janeway confidently assured her.

"There are breaches in the tunnels," Kes admitted. "That might help."

The captain nodded. "Then let's get going."

Sarah spent a nail-biting half hour waiting for them to return to the ship. She sprang up when the first transport was initiated, but was worried to only see Harry Kim, Kes, and a dark-haired part-Klingon woman who could only be Torres. They were immediately transferred to Sick Bay and she sat back down to wait. She fidgeted, almost sick with anxiety, until Tuvok, Chakotay, Paris, and her mother beamed aboard. Chakotay, who had a broken leg, was also transferred to Sick Bay.

Sarah ran forward to clasp her mother gratefully. "Are you all right?" she demanded.

"I'm fine, princess," Captain Janeway assured her daughter. "I'm fine." She tapped her commbadge. "Janeway to bridge."

"Rollins here."

"Set a course back to the array and engage at maximum warp."

"Aye captain."

"What happened?" Sarah asked.

Her mother provided her with a brief overview, including Paris's daring rescue of Chakotay with a note of pride in her voice. Despite their earlier bitter hatred, they'd managed to put aside hard feelings in a crisis, if only temporarily. _Too bad it won't matter when we get back to the Alpha Quadrant, _the captain thought sadly.

Sarah pondered the new information for a moment, and then asked, "So the Caretaker's dying?"

"That's Tuvok's theory. It makes sense."

"You're going to try to get him to send us back before he dies?"

Her mother nodded.

_It won't work, _the small girl almost said, but she stopped herself, not knowing why.

When they finally got back to the array, Sarah had her case ready when her mother and Tuvok gathered in the transporter room to beam over. She stepped forward, heart in her throat, and said with quiet, grim determination, "I must accompany you."

"Certainly not! Sarah, you know better than to ask that."

She looked her mother directly in the eyes. "We don't have a choice—either one of us. He has information we need. I'm the only who knows what to ask and the only one who can decipher what he says."

"Sarah…" her mother began.

"Mama," Sarah replied. "When have I ever been wrong about something like this?"

Tuvok remained silent, knowing there was something about Sarah that made her act the way she did. She was without a doubt the most unusual child he'd ever encountered.

Captain Janeway sighed in frustration. "I don't like this at all and I know I'm going to kick myself later," she said as she reluctantly motioned for her daughter to join them on the transporter pad.

"You can beam me right back over as soon as I have an answer," Sarah said, all business.

Her mother nodded to the transporter operator and they immediately found themselves in an old barn. Tuvok set off to find a way operate the array while mother and daughter slowly walked around looking for the old man. The quiet strumming of a banjo made Sarah perk up and she ran around the barrier of a stall to find the grizzled caretaker sitting on a stool tuning his instrument.

He looked up. "Back again?" he sighed. Chuckling a little, he added, "You're nothing if not persistent."

Guided by an unknown force, Sarah knelt before him. "Mr. Caretaker," she said in her quiet, serious manner. "What are the subspace convergence coordinates?"

His eyes opened wide. "How do you know about that?"

"Please tell me. It's crucial."

Still staring incredulously, he rattled off a long list of numbers and letters.

Standing back up, she thanked him, though she knew not for what. The entire time she had been speaking, her mother had seemed unaware of her daughter at all, as though she were in a trance. Now, Captain Janeway was pleading with the caretaker to send the two ships home and still seemed not to be aware of her daughter. She was desperate to get back—that was the only reason Sarah could think of for her oversight. She listened to their conversation with detachment, for she somehow knew the outcome.

She watched the barn flicker and disappear to be replaced by a highly advanced room, full of foreign technology. She felt the place shake. She heard one of _Voyager's _crewmembers report that the array was being attacked by the Kazon. She saw the caretaker begin to change form and heard him lament the damage to the self-destruct sequence. She saw him die to become a rock of some sort and watched her mother pick it up. She listened to her debate with Tuvok. She finally walked over to where her mother knelt, holding the caretaker's dead form. She gently placed her small hands on top of the rock.

Her mother's head snapped up to look her daughter in the eye. At last, she seemed aware of her child. "What happened? Why aren't you…" Captain Janeway shook her head. "Never mind. Janeway to _Voyager_—three to beam up immediately!"

When they made it to the bridge, sirens howled and red lights flashed. The air was smoky and there was a general aura of confusion. Control panels sparked as the Kazon continued to attack _Voyager_. Trying to make herself inconspicuous, Sarah heard Chakotay say he was going to take some heat off _Voyager's _tail. She watched the _Val Jean_ explode in a fiery ball of debris in the side of the largest Kazon vessel and saw her mother tense up visibly until the transporter room reported that they had Chakotay safely aboard the starship. He had just entered the bridge when her mother announced that she had made her decision.

Captain Janeway asked Tuvok to prepare tricobalt torpedoes. "I intend to destroy the array," she said determinedly.

The Maquis woman who had been abducted, B'Elanna Torres, loudly declared that they would never get home. Angrily, she asked, "Who is she to be making this decision for us?"

Chakotay overruled B'Elanna, putting a hand on her arm and saying evenly, "She's the captain."

Sarah watched and listened as her mother uttered the one word she knew would change their lives forever.

"Fire," Captain Janeway ordered.

Sarah's eyes followed the fiery orange shapes as they raced through space and found their mark. The blast desiccated the array, ripping it completely apart and leaving no debris.

A Kazon vessel contacted _Voyager_. A Kazon man named Jabin scowled at them. "You have made an enemy today," he announced. The transmission ended and the aliens withdrew.

They were stranded in the Delta Quadrant. They were separated from the Federation, other vessels, or assistance of any sort. They couldn't contact their friends or family.

Sarah's eyes sought her mother's. A wordless communication passed between them. This was why Sarah had had to come. This was why she had had to follow her mother to the bridge and the array. This was why.

Hours later, _Voyager _was mostly cleaned up. The Maquis had been integrated into the Starfleet crew. Chakotay stood beside Captain Janeway with commander's pips on the collar of his new uniform. Tom Paris sported lieutenant's pips. Neelix and Kes also stood on the bridge, for Neelix had insisted that the two of them would be valuable assistants—he could guide them and he could cook.

Sarah stood on the other side of her mother amongst this motley group. No more eyebrows were raised at her appearances on the bridge—she was an accepted crewmember of sorts as were the others.

Captain Janeway stepped forward and faced the crew on the bridge.

"We're alone," she began simply. "In an uncharted part of the galaxy. We've already made some friends here," she continued, glancing at Kes and Neelix. "And some enemies. We have no idea of the dangers we're going to face, but one thing is clear: both crews are going to have to work together if we're to survive. That's why Commander Chakotay and I," here she shared an understanding look with Chakotay. "…Have agreed that this should be one crew: a Starfleet crew. And as the only Starfleet vessel assigned to the Delta Quadrant, we'll continue to follow our directive: to seek out new worlds and to explore space."

"But our primary goal is clear," she continued. "Even at maximum speeds it would take 75 years to reach the Federation. But I'm not willing to settle for that. There's another entity like the Caretaker out there somewhere who has the ability to get us there a lot faster. We'll be looking for her, and we'll be looking for wormholes, spatial rifts or new technologies to help us. Somewhere along this journey, we'll find a way back."

Kathryn Janeway turned to face the viewscreen and Sarah quietly stood by her side.

"Mr. Paris, set a course. For home."

Author' Note: I hope you enjoyed this chapter!! I enjoyed writing it!! I have a goal of ten reviews for this chapter—won't you help me get there:) Even a few words are greatly appreciated. I know that it's kind of unlikely Sarah could get beamed over to the array or have unlimited bridge access, but it's essential to the plot line—how can I tell the story from her point of view if she's always stuck in her quarters? I hope you guys don't mind too much. Also, I apologize for 'fast-forwarding' through a lot of this episode but it had to be done! I don't think it made the story too choppy or anything, I just wish I had time to sit down and write it out in its entirety. Then again, it would probably turn into a novel. :) Anyway, don't forget about the contest and leave lots of reviews!! The next chapter will be 'Parallax'! Thanks so much, all my loyal readers!!!!


	7. Parallax

_Disclaimer: All characters, vessels, and science belong to Paramount with the exception of Sarah Janeway and anything else that I made up._

Author's Note: Wow—an update ahead of schedule!! Shocking, I know. Hey, I REALLY want to get into season two so I can reveal Sarah's father! Plus, season two has some amazing episodes.

I just wanted to let you all know that you are _amazing _and I don't know what I'd do without you. 44 reviews and 4075+ hits is fantastic!!!! I'm so happy you all like this story so well.

In addition, I'd like a special shout-out to go to **Emily Rayne Paris** and **BorgGirl12** for reviewing each and every chapter. Thanks for sticking with me!!

_Anomaly_

'_Parallax'_

Sarah Janeway tried her very best not to skip as she walked through _Voyager's _corridors. She felt that she ought to be extremely upset that they were cut off from Earth and family and friends but the truth was—she just wasn't. She missed her friends and family, certainly, but being on _Voyager _was like a dream come true.

Like most children, she had adjusted very quickly to the new circumstances and settled in to a new way of life. Unlike most children, she knew just how difficult the situation was on the adults. She had seen so many crewmembers wandering around looking thoroughly forlorn ever since they had been officially stranded in the Delta Quadrant. She pitied them, but knew there wasn't much she could do.

Currently, she was headed for Sick Bay. Her mother had insisted she undergo a physical, due to the fact that since their arrival at the other end of the galaxy, she had been badly injured, probed, and exposed to several unknown factors. She wasn't looking forward to it, but she was no longer terrified out of her mind. Something about the past few days had made her fear of medical related things seem completely illogical. She still detested them, since her experiences as a baby had been firmly ingrained in her mind, but she no longer feared them as she had.

She entered Sick Bay and immediately wanted to step back out into the hallway. Lieutenant Joe Carey was lying on a bio bed in the back of the room, blood dripping down his face, and yelling that B'Elanna had broken his nose. The Doctor had to keep pushing him back down as he tried to repair the damage, as Carey insisted on sitting up and relaying his extreme anger to Chakotay and Tuvok who stood at the foot of the bed. The altercation had apparently resulted from a difference of opinion concerning a power grid.

_Maybe this is a bad time, _Sarah thought nervously.

The two senior officers suddenly turned around and walked past her on their way out. The door had nearly closed when she remembered that she had a question for Tuvok. _The Doctor can't see me for a while anyway, _she thought, and then ran after their retreating backs.

Coming up behind them, she realized too late that they were arguing. Tuvok wanted to have Torres thrown in the brig, while Chakotay wanted to have a chance to deal with her on his own.

"She's been my officer for years," the tall dark man insisted. "I can handle this without involving the captain."

The former Maquis seemed to sense a presence behind him and turned to see Sarah following at a distance. Heatedly, he said to her, "I suppose now you're off to tell your mother everything you heard."

Sarah's brow creased angrily. Folding her arms and frowning at him, she replied, "I had a question for Tuvok but it can wait. The issue you were discussing is for the senior staff to deal with. It's none of my business, and I'm not a tattletale." Looking at him squarely, she added, "If you'll excuse me." She then turned on her heel and returned to Sick Bay.

Chakotay, in shock, watched her go. Had he just been chastised by a little girl?

Tuvok spoke up. "You will find that Sarah Janeway, though quite young, has a mind unlike other children. She completely understands Starfleet regulations and comprehends things on an adult level. I would suggest you address her as such."

Chakotay filed the information away for future encounters. "Getting back to B'Elanna," he continued. "Let me try to deal with the situation first. If things don't work out, I'll go to the captain."

Tuvok stood for a moment, contemplating, then raised one eyebrow in typical Vulcan fashion. "Very well, Commander."

On his way to B'Elanna's quarters, the former Maquis captain was approached by two of his Maquis officers. Crewman Jarvin and Ensign Seska, who whispered of supporting a mutiny if he did. Angrily he rounded on them, threatening, "If I ever hear you talk that way again, I'll personally throw you in the brig for mutiny!" He hurried off, leaving two rather confused crewmembers behind.

_Why do I feel so loyal to this captain?, _he questioned himself. _I hardly know the woman, she was sent to hunt my ship down, she can be rough at times, and her daughter clearly hates me. What is it?_

He entered B'Elanna's quarters and was promptly almost nailed by a flying plate. She wasn't in a talking mood and wanted nothing to do with his suggestions of apologizing to Carey.

"I hate him," B'Elanna growled.

"Do you know how childish that sounds?" Chakotay countered. He paused, then added, "Carey might be next in line, but I want you to be chief engineer." He headed for the door.

"What does the captain think of this?" she asked, reluctantly interested.

Chakotay looked at her, then his shoes, then back at her. "She hasn't said a word because I haven't told her yet," he admitted.

When he entered the briefing room, young Sarah Janeway was just leaving. Their eyes met briefly as she crossed the threshold. As he took his seat and the door closed behind her, it hit him. _I know those eyes, _he realized. _Someone at the Academy…no, someone we learned about at the Academy…yes, someone we learned about. But who? _His revelation was interrupted by the captain calling the meeting to order.

Captain Kathryn Janeway began the meeting by bringing the shortage of power and personnel to everyone's attention. "We have to be careful with what we have," she cautioned, though she was sure everyone knew just how much they would have to become self-sufficient. "We don't have the luxury falling back on a starbase anymore. I need suggestions."

Kes spoke up in her calm, unhurried way. "The replicators draw a lot of power. If we grew some of our own food, that would lessen their usage. Cargo bay 2 could be converted to a hydroponics lab without a lot of work."

Kathryn nodded. "That will be your responsibility, Kes. Now, we are in dire need of a chief engineer."

Chakotay inhaled and thought, _Here goes nothing._ "B'Elanna Torres was my chief engineer for years. She knows almost all there is to know about engineering. If she doesn't know how to fix something, she won't stop until she does. She's also exceptional at improvising in pinch."

The captain felt the cool metal of the conference room table beneath her hands as she lightly drummed her fingers upon its surface. "I'll take it into consideration," she finally said, trying not to sound too reluctant. Chakotay was her first officer and he had every right to make a suggestion. He also seemed to have very good reasons for recommending Torres. She sounded like an excellent engineer. _Why am I so hesitant?, _she asked herself

Brushing the subject off for a moment, she brought up another of equal importance. "We also lost our entire medical staff. We're going to have to remedy that situation." Glancing at Tom Paris, she remarked, "Mr. Paris, you took biochemistry at the Academy, did you not?"

Tom looked a little startled as he sat up straighter and replied, "Yes, I did, but…"

Kathryn Janeway raised one hand and interrupted. "Congratulations. You just became a field medic."

The staff briefing and any further protestations from Tom were interrupted as the ship began to shake violently. Everyone immediately made their way to the bridge as the deck beneath them shuddered forcefully.

"Report!" the captain called out.

"We've encountered a spatial disturbance," Seska reported from her station.

"It's a Type-4 quantum singularity," Harry Kim specified. "There's a ship caught near the event horizon."

"On screen," Janeway ordered.

The image wasn't much good—a tiny grey ship obscured by the singularity was barely visible.

"We're receiving a transmission from the ship," Harry added, and patched it through. The message was erratic and garbled by heavy static. Nothing could be made out of the communication, even after Harry's valiant attempts to clean it up. In addition, there was no response to the message they sent in response.

"Tractor beam?" the captain inquired.

"Too much subspace interference."

Feeling as though he were taking his life into his hands, Chakotay tapped his commbadge, and, determinedly avoiding eye contact with Janeway, he contacted his engineer.

"Torres, any suggestions?"

After a slight pause, her reply came through. "I would recommend that we remodulate a tractor beam to match the subspace interference."

Keeping her face impassive, Kathryn contacted her engineer. "Carey, get to work with her on it."

"Aye captain."

Turning to her first officer, she said quietly, "Commander, will you come to my ready room?"

_I knew it, _he thought as he followed her off to the side of the bridge. _She's furious._

Sarah awakened from her nap on the couch of the ready room to angry voices. She lay completely still as she listened to her mother and Chakotay argue about duty and protocol.

"I'm disappointed, Chakotay. Why would you ask Torres for solution, rather than Carey? You still consider the Maquis to be your people, don't you?"

"I thought Torres would give me a quicker answer. She's the best engineer I've ever known. She could teach at the Academy! You're right, Captain, I do consider these to be my people because nobody else on this ship will look out for them like I will. And I'm telling you: you're going to have to give them more authority if you want their loyalty."

"Theirs or yours, Commander?" Kathryn Janeway's face was calm but angry.

Chakotay shook his head, eyes flashing. "I have no intention of being your token Maquis officer!"

"Stop it!" Sarah could stand it no longer and got on her feet. She felt tears forming in the corners of her eyes. How could they survive seventy years like this? "This isn't a starship—it's a combat zone! Maquis against Starfleet!"

"Sarah, you shouldn't have heard all that…" her mother began.

"Well, I did and I can't take it anymore!"

"Sarah…" Kathryn said in a warning tone.

"Hold on captain. She has a point." Chakotay's eyes met Sarah's. He saw no hate. Maybe he had been wrong about her. He sighed, regaining his composure. Kathryn Janeway had also calmed down after looking at and listening to her daughter.

"All I ask, captain," he finished. "Is that you talk to Torres and get to know her."

The captain nodded stiffly. "Dismissed."

With a final glance at the captain's unique little girl, Chakotay left the ready room.

Before her mother had even opened her mouth, Sarah blurted out, "I spoke out of turn and I apologize. I know I shouldn't have."

Her mother sighed deeply. "You did speak out of turn but I think we needed that." Shaking her head, Kathryn admitted, "Unfortunately, your comment about _Voyager _being a combat zone wasn't too far off." She looked out the window of the ready room, contemplating their situation. "Sarah, go to our quarters. The ship could be in danger from a quantum singularity and I'd feel a lot better if you weren't on the bridge."

Sarah gazed at her mother for a while, her face calm and her eyes wise beyond her years.

"I don't think Commander Chakotay and I will get into shouting match after you made that point of yours. Don't worry—something will get worked out."

Finally, the small girl nodded. "I'll be in our quarters, then. Good luck," she added softly as she exited the ready room.

In Sick Bay, Kes was listening to the Doctor rant and rave about how he was now going to be used for every hangnail and splinter. _He's rather sensitive, isn't he?, _she thought. Then she realized he was also shorter.

"Doctor," she said. "Is there a problem with your holomatrix?"

"Why?" he asked.

"You seem…shorter than the last time I saw you."

Dubiously, the EMH instructed the computer to run a diagnostic on his program. As he skimmed over the readout, he exclaimed, "You're right! I've shrunk by approximately 10.4 centimeters!" He tapped his commbadge. "Doctor to Ensign Kim."

"Kim here."

"Ensign, there seems to be problem with my imaging matrix…"

"It'll have to wait, Doc. We're a little busy up here. Kim out."

"Of course," the Doctor muttered to himself. "People don't have the decency to turn off my program when they leave, why should they want to fix my imaging matrix?"

Kes felt badly for the hologram. "Someone will come down when they're finished Doctor. I'm sure of it." Nitrogenated soil samples in hand, she turned to leave. Pausing for a moment, she asked, "Doctor, have you chosen a name for yourself?"

"No, I haven't," he replied, still rather gruff. "I've been too busy treating bumps and bruises."

"Would you like me to deactivate your program before I go?"

The Doctor looked at Kes, the first person to see him as more than a hologram, the first person to really show him kindness. "Yes, I would. And thank you, Kes."

The young Ocampan woman smiled at him, then instructed, "Computer, deactive the Emergency Medical Hologram." He shimmered from view and she left Sick Bay for the hydroponics lab.

On the bridge, Captain Kathryn Janeway ordered the newly completed subspace tractor beam to be engaged.

"It's working," Harry reported from his station. "The beam has penetrated the singularity's event horizon."

However, right on the heels of this good news came bad.

"Captain, the new power relays are failing!"

_Voyager_ jolted harshly and slowly began to be pulled into the singularity.

"Full reverse!" Kathryn ordered, holding tightly to the arms of the captain's chair. "Disengage the tractor beam!"

"I can't, captain," Harry said. "The combined force of the tractor beam and reversed engines is causing massive hull stress!"

"Disengage the impulse engines," she ordered.

_Voyager_ began moving towards the singularity again.

"Janeway to engineering. Disable the tractor beam."

Carey's voice responded, "I'm going to have to cut the power feed manually, captain."

"Do it."

A few tense seconds passed before the bridge crew saw the tractor beam disappear and they were able to move away from the singularity.

Janeway stood and surveyed the situation. "We're going to need some help. Lay in a course for the Ilidaria system, full impulse. Have Neelix report to the bridge. It looks like we're going to follow his suggestion after all."

Kathryn made it to her quarters a few minutes later to check on her daughter. Her attempt to bond with Torres had failed miserably, especially when she had brought up the subject of Starfleet Academy. B'Elanna had irately told her before she left the ready room, "I didn't want anything to do with Starfleet then, and I'm sorry that I have to now." In addition, after Torres had left, the holographic Doctor had contacted her and informed her of the error in his imaging system, as well as the fact that nine crewmembers had reported in with 'severe headaches, muscle spasms, and sudden waves of dizziness', all of which could possibly be related to the quantum singularity. It was just one trouble after another.

She entered their quarters to find PADDs and books scattered about the floor and her daughter seated in amongst them. "Sarah, what is going on here?" she asked, staring at the organized mess. The raven-haired girl looked up at her.

"School," she said simply.

"School?" Her mother was confused.

"I'm four years old," Sarah Janeway replied. "That's plenty old enough to be going to school. I don't plan to spend all my time on _Voyager_ reading or on the Holodeck. I want to be able to make a difference, eventually. I don't want to just be a passenger—I intend to earn my place here."

Kathryn Janeway sank down on the couch and rubbed her temples. "Sarah, you're still a child. Just because you're intellectually ahead of your peers doesn't mean you have to give up being a kid to study all the time."

"But mama," Sarah protested. "I _like_ to study. Look," she added, holding up several PADDs for her mother to see. "Algebra, geometry, astronomy, comprehension, critical thinking, chemistry, Earth history, and a foreign language. I'm going to ask Tuvok to tutor me in Vulcan when he has some free time."

Her mother dropped her face into her hands. "Sarah, please. Don't try to grow up so fast—I don't want to lose my little girl so soon."

"Oh, mama…" her daughter ran to her side and threw her small arms about her mother's weary form. "I'm not trying to grow up. I just want to learn, that's all. I _promise. _I'll still be a kid."

Before Kathryn had a chance to respond, the ship quivered forcefully yet again. She was on her feet in half a second and had her hand on her commbadge in a half a second more.

"Janeway to bridge."

"We need you up here, captain."

"Understood. I'm on my way. Janeway out."

"I'll be back, Sarah," she added over her shoulder.

"Wait!" Sarah called out. "If I can't study now, can I come to the bridge with you?"

Her mother thought for moment, then relented. "Let's go."

Sarah grinned widely and ran after Kathryn.

When the two of them reached the bridge, Sarah took her usual spot on the floor beside the captain's chair. "Report," her mother ordered.

"We discovered another type-4 quantum singularity with properties identical to the first one," Ensign Kim reported. "When I double-checked the readings, I found that we're in the same position as before and that this is the same singularity." He looked up. "We're right back where we started."

Captain Janeway frowned. "Turn the ship around and engage warp 5."

"Aye captain," Lieutenant Paris responded.

At twelve million kilometers, however, the singularity appeared in front of them again. Knitting her brow thoughtfully, Kathryn instructed Chakotay, "Have all departments submit reports and inform the senior staff members of a meeting at 1500 hours."

Promptly at 1500 hours, Captain Janeway, Commander Chakotay, Lieutenant Carey, Lieutenant Torres, Lieutenant Tuvok, Sarah, and the Doctor, via a monitor, assembled in the briefing room. The Doctor submitted his report. "27 more crewmembers have encountered the symptoms I mentioned earlier. Unfortunately, I have no idea what's going on and I can't provide a treatment. Also, I'm still shrinking. So far, I've lost a total of 67 centimeters of height." The captain thanked him, then closed the channel.

The Doctor's dwindling stature, however, proved to be of assistance to B'Elanna when they moved on to the subject of the singularity. "A localized dampening field around the external sensors should allow us to contact the other ship. Maybe they know more about what's going on than we do."

Nodding in agreement, Captain Janeway dismissed everyone to get to work.

Back on the bridge, Sarah watched and listened as the deflector dish was modified and the dampening field was deployed. "We're receiving a transmission," Tuvok reported.

"Put it through," Kathryn ordered.

Another harshly garbled message, riddled with static, was played. However, when Tuvok cleaned it up, the voice was unmistakably that of none other than Janeway herself.

"That's the message you sent earlier, isn't it?" Sarah observed, surprised.

"It is," Kathryn agreed.

Everyone on the bridge, Sarah noticed, looked rather puzzled at this odd turn of events. How could they be the ones stuck in the singularity's event horizon? Everyone, that is, except B'Elanna Torres. She seemed to be thinking hard. Every so often, she would glance Sarah's way and then in the opposite direction.

Finally, she exclaimed, "Captain, I think I understand what's going on!"

Gathered back in the conference room, B'Elanna paced around the room as she explained her reasoning. "Imagine that you're sitting at the bottom of a frozen pond. You look up, and you see a reflection of yourself." She turned to face the captain. "That's sort of like the situation _Voyager_'s in, only this reflection is time-delayed." She paused for a moment, and then continued. "By my calculations, we have nine hours until we're destroyed by the singularity. We need find a 'crack in the ice', in a manner of speaking, to escape."

Captain Janeway stood up and walked around the table to where B'Elanna was. Both of them were growing excited at the prospect of having a solution. "_Voyager_ must have made a crack when we first entered the singularity," she said.

"Exactly," B'Elanna replied. "We just have to find it."

"What would make the crack visible?" Kathryn mused aloud.

The two women arrived at the same conclusion at the same time. "Warp particles!" they said together.

"Back to the bridge?" Sarah asked, only partially exasperatedly.

"Back to the bridge," her mother confirmed.

The deflector dish was deactivated, and then the warp particles were routed to it. The entire bridge crew waited tensely after the particles were deployed. At last, Lieutenant Paris announced, "I've found an irregularity in the event horizon." He magnified the image on the viewscreen.

Surveying the dimensions the sensors gave her, Kathryn cursed inwardly. "It's too small. It must have collapsed since we entered it. We're going to have to expand it."

"A dekyon beam would do it," Torres suggested. "_Voyager_'s too far away, though. We'd have to use a shuttlecraft."

Janeway nodded. "Torres, you're with me. Commander, you have the bridge. Sarah, behave yourself."

Her daughter smiled. "I always do." She added, "Be careful."

Her mother smiled back as she entered the turbolift with B'Elanna. "I always am," she replied.

It didn't take long to reach the Shuttle Bay and launch a shuttle. Janeway and Torres sat in silence for some time as they flew slowly towards the crack and prepared the dekyon beam.

After a while, B'Elanna she ought to take advantage of the moment. "I want to apologize," she began. "For my earlier behavior."

Kathryn was silent and let the other women continue.

"The truth is, I left the Academy because I didn't think I could make it in Starfleet." She gave a mirthless little laugh. "My professors weren't sorry to see me go."

"Professor Chapman was," Kathryn corrected, checking on the beam's progress. "He thought you were a promising cadet and one of the finest students he ever taught. He placed a note in your permanent record saying he would support your re-entry if you ever reapplied. "

"Chapman?" B'Elanna asked incredulously. "He hated me! I was always fighting with him, questioning his methods…"

"Some professors like students who question their assumptions." Captain Janeway looked over at B'Elanna Torres. "So do some captains," she added.

They broke eye contact when a soft beep from the control panel alerted them to the fact that the shuttle had reached it s destination.

"The dekyon beam is charged," Torres reported.

"Fire the beam," the captain ordered.

They watched the bright orange beam lance out from the shuttle and enter the crack. The crack slowly expanded as the dekyon beam continued to force its way through.

"The hole has increased in growth by 65," B'Elanna informed the captain. Almost immediately, the lights in the shuttle flickered and warning alarms sounded.

Janeway tapped controls on the panel before her, but to no avail. "The shuttle's losing power. 65 is going to have to be enough." She turned the shuttle around and headed back to _Voyager_.

As the shuttle came about, the two officers stared in astonishment. There were two _Voyagers_.

"Well, this could be a problem," B'Elanna said, looking at the identical starships.

"We just have to think," Kathryn replied. "It's a simple choice: port, or starboard."

"Port."

"Starboard."

They had spoken at exactly the same moment. B'Elanna defended her selection first. "The port ship has to be the real one. They're moving toward the rift."

"But don't you see?" Kathryn responded. "That's what _Voyager _did twenty minutes ago. The starboard ship isn't moving." She shifted back to her station. "They're waiting for us."

"If you're wrong…" B'Elanna looked at the captain, leaving her unfinished statement hanging in the air. They both knew what could happen.

Carefully, cautiously, Kathryn guided the shuttlecraft back into the Shuttle Bay. Neither one of them breathed until they had landed with a thump on the docking port.

"Feels like a real ship to me," Kathryn said thankfully.

As soon as they reached the bridge, _Voyager _began moving towards the tear, which was slowly closing.

"The rift's length has decreased to 110 meters," Tom Paris reported. "It's too small."

Kathryn Janeway stepped up to the viewscreen and thought for a moment before she spoke. "At the Academy," she said. "In command school they taught us to always remember that maneuvering a starship is a very delicate process." She turned to face her crewmembers and her daughter. "But over the years I've learned that sometimes you just have to punch your way through." With determination, she ordered, "Mr. Paris, full power to the impulse engines."

"Aye captain," he replied.

Sarah Janeway tightly wrapped both her hands around the nearest railing support and prepared for a very bumpy ride.

The ship approached the rift, gathering speed. It jolted and shook and everyone reached for the nearest solid support. Control panels sparked and smoke clouded the bridge.

"Shields have failed!" Harry Kim yelled. "Port impulse engines have lost power!"

"Steady," Kathryn said, clenching her jaw.

With one final, great, violent buck, _Voyager _managed to punch its way through and cleared the singularity in one piece. Several bridge officers rubbed at bumps and bruises and Sarah and Tom gingerly brushed at bloody scratches. Otherwise, everyone was fine.

Captain Janeway sighed in relief.

"Punch your way through, huh?" Tom commented, looking at the captain. "I'll have to remember that one."

Chakotay, Sarah, and Kathryn laughed appreciatively.

Several hours later, Chakotay approached Torres in Engineering. "Congratulations, Lieutenant."

B'Elanna turned to face Chakotay.

"You've earned the position of chief engineer." He smiled at her and shook her hand. "Your first duty: Captain Janeway wants you get the warp drive online by 1300 hours."

"1300 hours?" B'Elanna asked in disbelief. "That's impossible!"

"Then maybe you need to get to get out there and break a few noses. Or," he amended. "At least bend a few." With a final smile of congratulations, Chakotay left engineering.

"Ok then," B'Elanna said, and she began to fire off commands to her new staff. They stood, just looking at her, until she added, "Please." Immediately, the officers seemed to relax and set to work at their given assignments.

Far above, Commander Chakotay had just joined Captain Janeway. They stood and watched as Torres and Carey spoke briefly, and then shook hands.

"Two crewmembers have already filed complaints on her promotion," Kathryn informed Chakotay. "I don't anticipate any major problems, though. Thank you," she added. "I might have missed out on a fine engineer."

"Thank you," he replied. "For giving her a chance." He watched the engineering staff scurry to work below them before he added, "Much of the credit, though, I think, should go to your daughter. If it weren't for her, we might still be fighting."

"Sarah does seem to have a rather calming effect on people. I was afraid to have her on board, but now it seems she'll be quite an asset, especially if the Starfleet/Maquis tensions rise up again." Kathryn smiled. "Shall we get back to our bridge?"

Tom and Sarah had just arrived in Sick Bay. Tom had a small cut on the back of his left hand, while Sarah had one near her right eye. When they didn't see the EMH right away, they walked into his office. Sarah immediately clapped a hand over her mouth in surprise and to keep from giggling. A very tiny Doctor was standing on his chair.

"I'm sorry, lieutenant," he said, trying to keep a dignified air about him. "But whatever it is, you're going to have to get it yourself."

"Oh, it's all right," Tom responded, sitting on the Doctor's desk. "It's just a scratch, really. You know, I like you better this way."

The combination of the diminished hostility between the Starfleet crewmembers and the Maquis crewmembers and the miniature Doctor made her laugh out loud.

_We're going to be okay,_ Sarah thought, really relaxing for the first time in a week. _We're going to be okay._

Author's Note: I hope all of you enjoyed this installation of 'Anomaly'! Sorry if the some of the character interactions seem a bit stiff—my main goal is to show how Kathryn and Sarah are coping and how the two of them interact with the other characters. Please review if you can!! The next chapter, of course, will be 'Time And Again'! Thanks for reading!!


	8. Time And Again

_Disclaimer: All characters, vessels, science, and certain dialogue belong to Paramount with the exception of Sarah Janeway and anything else that I made up._

Author's Note: I know I used a ton of the original dialogue, but please bear with me—this kind of an experiment to see what works the best. As far as I go, the episode is really background since this story kind of focuses on Sarah and Kathryn. In addition, I've made Sarah more childish in this episode for reasons explained in the story. I probably overdid it, but just consider it to balance out the other episodes. I also hope you don't mind the excessive length.

Enjoy!!

P.S. I _may _be dropping more than one episode from my series (ex. 'Threshold') because they really aren't that great or don't have all that much action. I'll have a 'for-sure' decision soon.

_Anomaly_

'_Time And Again'_

Kathryn Janeway sensed rather than heard or saw the presence beside her bed. Prepared to fight off an alien intruder, she sat up quickly.

It was Sarah.

The small girl was nervously twisting from side to side and shifting her weight from one foot to the other. When she saw that her mother was sitting up, she quickly said, "I'm sorry…I wasn't going to wake you…"

Blinking sleep from her eyes, Kathryn called out blearily, "Computer, what time is it?"

"0400 hours," the Computer responded promptly.

"Sarah, what is it? It's four in the morning." She brushed her long auburn hair out of her eyes and watched her daughter nervously lower her eyes, biting her lip. "This isn't about school, is it?"

"Sort of," she replied quietly. "I couldn't sleep." At her mother's motioning hand, she climbed into her bed.

"Tell me what's on your mind," her mother said gently.

Sarah continued to fidget, twisting a corner of the sheets around her small finger. "Last week," she began. "The situation…with B'Elanna…"

"Yes?"

Sarah sighed deeply and turned her face up to her mother's. "B'Elanna came up with all these solutions that helped us get free from the singularity. She's a valuable member of the crew."

"Sarah…" Kathryn began, getting an idea of where this conversation was headed.

The young girl shook her head to interrupt, making her long ebony waves bounce about her face. "Everyone on this ship has a job: you're the captain, B'Elanna's an engineer, Tom's a pilot. Even Neelix and Kes, who aren't really crewmembers, help out." Her face had a wounded expression. "On a ship of 150 people, I'm the only one who isn't contributing anything."

"Sarah, no expects you to be able to fly this ship or fix the warp core. You're four years old."

"I know that people don't _expect_ me to do anything, but I still feel like I'm not pulling my weight."

It was her mother's turn to sigh. She closed her eyes, thinking. There had to be a solution that was mutually acceptable to both of them. On one hand, Sarah wanted to be useful, which was very admirable. On the other hand, she could remember studying a lot as a child, something she had preferred over playing. However, she had sworn to herself that any child of hers would get a real childhood. For one thing, she truly regretted not learning to play an instrument. Therefore, she was extremely hesitant to let her daughter start her 'school' program.

Finally, she happened upon a resolution that sounded as though it would work for the two of them. Opening her eyes, she looked at Sarah. "How about this: you can start studying _one or two_ subjects if you also take some sort of music, sport, or dance lessons. In addition, I'll make you Bridge Assistant. You can run errands and help with other things."

"Like bringing you coffee?"

Kathryn chuckled appreciatively. "Exactly. That way you can be useful, and you don't stop being a kid too soon. Deal?"

Sarah smiled broadly. "Deal. I'd like to study Earth history and algebra."

"And I'd like you to try piano and ballet."

"Ok. When do I start my duties as Bridge Assistant?"

"Today, if you'd like. But not now—it's still four in the morning and I have several hours before I'm on duty. I'd like to go back to sleep." Kathryn Janeway gave her daughter a hug. "Think you can sleep now?"

"Yes mama," she answered, hugging her back. "Thank you."

Sarah crawled back into her own bed and burrowed under the covers, tucking her stuffed horse tightly under her arm. Her mother tucked her in and gently placed a kiss on her forehead. "See you in the morning," she whispered. The small girl quickly drifted off to sleep.

Several hours later, Sarah woke with a start. She was suddenly scared, but didn't know why. She hurriedly sat up.

Her mother's bed was empty.

Her mouth dry with nervousness, she timidly called out, "Computer?" There was a beep in reply. "Computer, locate Captain Janeway."

"Captain Janeway is not aboard _Voyager._"

She was out the door and headed for the bridge as soon as she heard the response.

On the surface of the M-class planet, Janeway, Torres, Paris, and Tuvok had beamed down to the inside of the charred ruins of a public area. They pulled out their tricorders and began scanning their surroundings.

"The entire surface was just…seared," B'Elanna said in surprise.

"There was a chain reaction in subspace," Captain Janeway replied, tapping some controls on her device. "Most likely ignited by the detonation of one or more polaric ion devices."

Tom Paris looked around. "If that is what happened," he added. "The people here never had a chance."

"They're gone; vaporized. Everything organic has been pretty much obliterated." B'Elanna said, watching the readings on her tricorder.

"At least it was quick. Polaric ion detonation would have easily swept throughout the entire city in seconds," Captain Janeway calculated.

"It is reminiscent of the Chaltok IV incident," Tuvok said, speaking up for the first time.

"Chaltok IV?" Tom questioned.

"A Romulan research colony that was nearly destroyed when it tested a similar device. That situation led to the Polaric Test Ban Treaty of 2268."

"So, we're looking at the end of a war?" B'Elanna Torres wanted to know.

"I wonder who won," Tom said ironically.

Kathryn Janeway shook her head. "I don't think is the result of a war. B'Elanna, look at these readings." She held out her tricorder after scanning a nearby object that appeared to be a conduit.

"I can't get an accurate reading—the polaric ion concentrations are too high."

Janeway's face was grim. "I think these conduits are the source of the explosion."

Shocked, Torres looked at her commanding officer. "A civilization _powered _by polaric ion energy?"

Kathryn nodded darkly. "That's what it looks like: a time bomb beneath every street and running into every home."

Back on _Voyager's _bridge, Sarah Janeway had just exited the turbolift in a panic. She hurried over to Chakotay, who was sitting in the captain's chair. Trying to be polite and diplomatic, she asked, "Excuse me, commander, where is my mother?"

Chakotay looked up to see Janeway's daughter standing before him. _It wasn't at the Academy that I've seen her face, _he realized. _But where was it? _That strange feeling that he somehow knew her from somewhere refused to go away. Slightly shaking his head, he pushed it to the back of his mind. "Your mother beamed down to the planet we're orbiting with an away team." He smiled reassuringly at her. "Don't worry—they'll be back soon."

Vehemently, Sarah shook her head. "No," she insisted. "They're in danger! You have to beam them back up—now!"

"What's this about?" he asked.

"Something's wrong down there," she told him, not sure why.

Just then, her mother's voice came through Chakotay's commbadge. "Away team to _Voyager._"

"Go ahead," he replied.

"Four to beam up."

"Acknowledged," he said, looking curiously at the young Janeway girl. He nodded to Harry Kim. After a few seconds, Harry frowned. "I only have Torres and Tuvok in Transporter Room One. Trying again…"

Sarah stared first at Chakotay, then at Harry, until Harry looked up and said. "They're gone!"

"What do you mean 'gone'?"

"I mean they aren't on the planet's surface anymore. I don't know where they are."

Sarah uttered a little cry of dismay and fell to her knees. Chakotay concernedly picked her up and carried her to the captain's chair. He patted her shoulder comfortingly, albeit somewhat awkwardly. To Harry, he said, "Keep an eye on her. I'm going down to talk to Tuvok and B'Elanna."

Sarah sat curled up in the chair, tears of worry and fear running down her cheeks in little rivers. She felt as though her heart and soul were sick. _Where is she? Will I ever see her again? _At that moment, she was no longer the special child who had beaten Admiral Gates at chess and devoured books written for people five times her age. At that moment, she was just a frightened little girl who wanted her mom.

Captain Janeway and Lieutenant Paris suddenly found themselves in the middle of the town square amongst living, breathing aliens. There was no sign of an explosion or any destruction. They had fallen through a subspace fracture. Paris had pulled out his tricorder and begun scanning as Janeway desperately tried her commbadge again and again.

The sudden scream of an alien boy who was staring at them brought a crowd and an authority officer. The latter spoke comfortingly to the boy. "Now, what's the problem?" he asked in a calming voice.

"I saw them!" the boy yelled, pointing an accusatory finger at the two of them. They appeared out of thin air! They're some kind of demons! I saw them with my own eyes!"

Thinking fast, Janeway spoke up. "I'm sorry we startled him. We just came around the corner."

"They're lying!" the blond haired boy insisted.

"Calm down now, young fellow. You've been reading too many of those Darkstorm tales. There's no such thing as demons."

"But I'm telling you…"

"Run along now," the officer said, gently nudging him away from the area. "Have a confection bar and calm down." To the crowd, he added, "All right, everybody. Back to your business—nothing to see here." Finally, he turned to Janeway and Paris. "Sorry about that. Who knows what gets into kids' heads, huh?"

_Kids…oh no…Sarah! She must be worried sick! _With effort, she pulled herself back to the present situation. "Perhaps the uniforms scared him," Kathryn replied. "We're not from this area."

"Come in on the Continental Transport?"

"This morning."

"Is that, uh, what they're wearing in Kalto Province these days?"

"This is a little more, um, formal than most," Tom said. "You know how it is when you travel."

"We're actually looking for a clothing shop," Kathryn added. "We thought we'd change into something more appropriate."

"There's one right over there." The authority officer pointed. "I hope the rest of your stay with us will be more enjoyable." With a smile, he departed from them.

"I wish I could say it will be," Tom gravely commented to Janeway.

Aboard _Voyager_, there had been no sign of either Captain Janeway or Lieutenant Paris since they had been lost in a subspace fracture. The senior staff members were gathered in the conference room, attempting to brainstorm a solution. Sarah sat off by herself in a corner, trembling and shivering as though she was cold. Harry watched the poor little girl stare off into space and shake. When he had seen her before, she had seemed as though she was an adult. Now, she completely seemed the vulnerable four-year-old child that she was. _She always had her mother before, _he realized. From what he knew, her mother was all she had. He'd heard no mention of a father. _Poor kid. _

When Chakotay gave him the signal, he pulled up a detailed diagram on the computer console on the wall and began his explanation. "This is one of the subspace fractures we've located with a magneton scan of the surface. This is the time of the explosion, where the fracture opens. Then, as the shockwaves dissipate, the fracture grows narrower. We believe that the Captain and Lieutenant Paris are trapped at the narrow end."

B'Elanna chimed in, "Shockwaves from most explosions dissipate to the future, but we're speculating, based in part on what Paris told us he saw, that these dissipate into the past."

"That's consistent with the subspace damage we've observed."

Tuvok frowned thoughtfully. "Why haven't they been able to return as Mr. Paris did the first time?"

"He wasn't all the way inside a fracture. Remember, we still saw Paris standing there even when he could see the other side," B'Elanna explained.

"So it's possible that the Captain and Paris are existing only hours or minutes before the explosion occurs," Chakotay said. Sarah winced visibly in the corner. _That was tactless, _he berated himself.

"There's no way to measure exactly how far back these fractures go," B'Elanna admitted.

"How do we find them?" he asked.

"If I know Captain Janeway," Tuvok said. "She would activate a subspace beacon to assist us."

Chakotay listened to the rest of what was said with only half of his attention. The other half was directed at the now-fragile-looking child huddled miserably in a corner of the conference room. He'd never thought about it before—who was responsible for her now that her mother was missing? And if she never came back, who got custody of her? If she had family aboard, it wouldn't have been a problem. Maybe it was supposed to be him, since he was the first officer. The first officer got command of the ship when the captain was lost—did he get the captain's child as well? He slightly shook his head. No, he wasn't used to children that much. She'd be better off with someone else. _If only the captain had left some procedures for this kind of a situation, _he thought.

_Maybe it should be Tuvok. _After all, he and Captain Janeway were old friends. _Then again, a Vulcan caring for and maybe raising a human child? Scratch that. _Who did that leave? Kes and Neelix were possibilities, but they'd only been aboard the ship for a short while. Confining his mental search to the senior staff, he came up with Harry Kim, B'Elanna Torres, and Tom Paris. Tom was missing as well, so he was out. B'Elanna taking care of a little kid? Probably not a good idea. So that just left Harry Kim.

He waited until the end of the meeting when people began moving off to their respective tasks. "Ensign Kim, would you please stay?" Surprised, Harry hung back as everyone else filtered out of the room.

"Yes, commander?" he said.

"Do you like kids?"

In confusion, Harry replied. "I suppose so, sir."

"Until we recover the captain," Chakotay said, picking up Sarah, who hadn't said a word since she'd heard the news, and putting her in Harry's arms. "Sarah Janeway is _your_ responsibility."

"Uh, sir…" Harry began, but then he looked into the heartbreakingly sad green eyes of the captain's daughter. "Yes sir," he finished. _Well, how hard can it be to take care of a very mature four-year-old?_, he thought.

In the future on the planet's surface, Tom and Janeway had just emerged from a clothing shop, both now clad like natives in black slacks and tops striped with shades of orange, red, and yellow. "We can assume that Voyager will be looking for a way to reach us. I'll set my commbadge to emit a subspace beacon. If they get close enough, maybe they'll pick it up," Janeway was saying.

Tom exhaled, saying so much with no words. He was thinking about the planet's imminent destruction.

"I know," Kathryn said gently.

"Maybe there's some way…"

"Don't even think about it, Tom. The Prime Directive is clear. We can't change the natural course of events."

"Even if the natural course of events is annihilation?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

Tom shook his head as they walked, as though he was trying to get rid of unpleasant memories. "My father used to talk at length to us about the Prime Directive once a year like a holodeck sermon."

Kathryn nodded. "He considered it the guiding principle of space exploration."

"To be completely honest," Tom said. "I tuned out most of his sermons years ago."

Captain Janeway spun to face her conn officer. "Well, tune back into this one because I agree with him. You have no idea what the consequences might be once you involve yourself…"

"The consequences would have to be better than mass destruction!"

"You're not to warn these people. That's an order!"

Suddenly, they noticed the same blond-haired boy watching them. They tried to move away, but the boy hurried up to them and confronted them.

"I know you're lying," he said challengingly.

Waxing creative, Janeway replied, "Young man, we're here on a business trip and we have a lot of work to do."

"The officer told me you came here on the Continental Transport."

"That's right. We're from Kalto Province."

The boy looked smug. "Yeah? Well, I just talked to the transport attendant. He told me four people came today from Kalto. Two of them were a lot older than you, and they had a child with them."

"Well, the attendant was wrong," Janeway countered. "That was us."

"So where's the child?" The boy's statement hung in the air as a challenge.

In Main Engineering aboard _Voyager, _Torres and Kim were demonstrating a polaric generator. Sarah sat nearby watching, as Harry took his new responsibility very seriously.

"This device uses the same polaric energy that destroyed the planet," Harry explained, adjusting a control.

"At intense levels it can open a subspace fracture," B'Elanna added.

"Wide enough for the Captain and Paris to get through?" Chakotay wanted to know.

B'Elanna affirmed, "If we can locate them, this is capable of bringing them back."

"The logical place to begin," Tuvok said. "Is the same location they disappeared."

Harry sighed. "Only problem is, at the necessary intensity, the polaric generator will burn itself out after thirty seconds at best."

Chakotay frowned thoughtfully. "Can't we re-initialize the generator and try again?"

"Not in the same location," B'Elanna told him. "Once we make an attempt at any given location, the damage to subspace will make a second attempt impossible."

Chakotay nodded, thinking carefully. "How do we prevent one of us from getting trapped in a fracture?"

"We've modified our tricorders to detect the fractures, and all of us will be wearing one of these. It puts out an anti-polaric field. It should repel the fractures if they get within three meters." B'Elanna held up a small grey metal box.

"Nice work," Chakotay complimented, but before they could start preparing for the away mission, his commbadge chirped.

"Lieutenant Hawthorne to Commander Chakotay."

"Go ahead, Hawthorne."

"Sir, there's an unauthorized transport in progress in Transporter Room One!"

"Lock them out!"

A moment of silence, then: "I'm sorry, sir, I couldn't block their commands fast enough. They're on the surface."

"Who?" Before Chakotay got a response, Harry spoke up in a panic.

"Has anyone seen Sarah? She was here a minute ago!"

"It's the captain's daughter, sir. She's down on the planet," Lieutenant Hawthorne reported.

"Beam her up now!" Chakotay said, just short of yelling.

A few more tense seconds passed, then he reported, "I'm sorry, sir, but she's gone just like the Captain and Lieutenant Paris."

Chakotay swore under his breath. "Understood. Prepare to beam down my away team. Chakotay out."

He turned to the others. "The stakes just got higher. Let's go." Everyone moved off, readying themselves for the mission. Just then, Kes and Neelix entered engineering.

"Ah, Commander. Will you be going back to the planet's surface?" Neelix asked.

"We're getting ready to leave right now."

"I have to go with you," Kes insisted, her face earnestly serious.

"There's nothing down there you want to see, Kes. As a matter of fact, we just lost one more person. The captain's daughter beamed herself down to the planet a minute ago."

"I've already seen it. I have to go."

Neelix quickly filled in Chakotay on Kes' telepathic vision. The former Maquis commander looked at the Ocampan woman. Finally, he nodded. "Let's get moving."

Sarah Janeway looked around the bright public square. Aliens bustled about their daily business, totally unaware of the impending disaster that hung like a specter of doom over their planet. Her eyes suddenly found her mother, her long auburn hair glinting in the sunlight. It was all she could do to keep from sobbing in relief. _I fell through the right fracture!_

Tom Paris stood at her mother's side and a blond alien boy stood in front of them.

"So where's the child?" His statement hung challengingly in the air.

Thinking fast, she called out "Here I am!" and ran over to her mother.

A number of emotions played out on Kathryn Janeway's face. Astonishment, uncertainty, and joy all quickly flitted across her countenance as she watched her small daughter run towards her. Without thinking, she knelt down and opened her arms wide to receive the young girl.

Sarah ran straight into her mother's arms. Her mother gathered her up in her arms, hugging her tightly. "I was so afraid I had lost you," Sarah managed to choke out.

"I'm here, I'm here," Kathryn said, gently patting her daughter's back.

"Here's 'the child'," Tom was telling the boy. "She just got a little lost. Now, run along." He made shooing motions with his hands. He, Kathryn, and Sarah watched the boy hurry off, his face showing that he was still not completely convinced.

Kathryn waited until he was out of sight before she set her daughter down. She knelt down so she was at eye level with her little girl. "Sarah, how did you get here?"

Sarah averted her eyes as she replied, "I beamed down. I remembered what you told me about the Wolten III mission, and how you managed to get through the transporter blocks that the captain had put up because of the alien that had inhabited him. I applied the same procedure to _Voyager's _system. I knew they would try to stop me."

Captain Janeway's eyes widened in shock and she spoke sternly to her daughter. "Sarah Kathryn Janeway! That was a dangerous, foolish thing to do! I can't believe you would do something so irresponsible! You knew what was going to happen to the planet--"

Tears streamed from Sarah's eyes. "When you disappeared, I panicked. I didn't want to be strong anymore—I just wanted you back." She paused, dropping her chin to her chest. "I couldn't face having to live without you."

"Oh, Sarah…" Kathryn hugged her daughter tightly. "Understand that I don't condone what you did, but I am glad to see you." She surveyed her daughter's clothes. Sarah was wearing a yellow shirt and black slacks. She would blend in well enough. "Promise me you won't do that again."

"I promise."

"Good." Kathryn stood up, Sarah staying as close as she could. "Now, let's concentrate on getting out of here."

"The same subspace fractures that brought us here might still be around. If they were caused by a polaric explosion, is there any way we can use polaric energy to get us back?" Tom said.

"If we had access to a polaric ion generator, we could modify a tricorder to emit a polaric field. At the very least, it might help us scan for a fracture."

"I wonder where these conduits get their power…" Tom mused aloud, running his hand over one.

When the trio reached the power plant, a protest was in progress. People were shouting angrily and waving leaflets. The guards tried to push the crowd away, but the crowd pushed back.

"Under normal circumstances, I'd say we should come back tomorrow," Paris murmured.

The guards suddenly fired into the air and the scene turned ugly. Sarah grabbed her mother's hand, but they were swept apart as the crowd began to run in all directions, for the guards had moved out amongst the people, hitting every which way with their batons in an attempt to make them disperse. "Mama?" Sarah asked worriedly. She was surrounded by a sea of legs, too short to see anything. People swirled about her like a river current, threatening to take her far away from her mother. She tried to push her way in the direction she thought was correct. "Mama?"

There was a sudden cry of pain and she had an obstructed view of a person with auburn hair lying on the ground. "Mama!" she screamed, desperately shoving at the crowd. A guard ran straight into her, knocking her to ground as well. She felt her palms scrape painfully against the pavement. The crowd began to melt away. Raising her head, she saw a strange alien man helping her mother up. Tom hurried over and picked her up, and, carrying her on his hip, he followed the man assisting her mother.

They soon found themselves in a private home. Tom was tending to the wound on Kathryn's forehead, and Kathryn was tending to the scrapes on Sarah's palms when the man who had helped them, who also happened to be the protest leader, came into the room they sat in, along with a colleague of his. "I'm sorry to involve you in this. Pe'Nar Makull," he said, introducing himself. Nodding at his associate, he added, "My colleague, Ny Terla."

Terla nodded to them. "Apparently you just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Yes, we were," Tom said.

"What were you doing there?" Makull wanted to know.

"We're from Kalto Province. We were hoping to tour your power facility, compare it to our own," Kathryn answered.

"I've never seen a Kalton with your colour hair," Terla said suspiciously.

"Well, now you have."

"My friend thinks you were sent by the government to infiltrate us," Makull declared.

"Infiltrate?!" Tom incredulously said. "You were there when they got these." He gestured at the captain's forehead and at her daughter's hands.

"It could be that you were told to put on a good show for us. Even in Kalto there are protests against polaric energy."

"We're not spies," Janeway insisted. "Besides, what kind of spies would bring a child with them?"

"The kind of spies that are trying very hard to avoid suspicion," Terla said, and he and Makull drew their weapons, pointing them at the trio. "We know you're not telling the truth. We have safety monitors to measure polaric energy." Terla brought one out and held it up to them. "When you were brought here, they registered five times the normal readings. To register levels this high, you were either in that plant yesterday, or at the site of a polaric disaster more destructive than any in the history of this planet."

Sarah inhaled sharply, knowing the truth. "Now then," Makull was saying as he seated himself behind a desk. "Let's get some answers. Your names, to start with."

"Janeway and Paris," Kathryn said, indicating herself and Tom. "And my daughter, Sarah."

"Those are unusual names."

"Not where we come from."

"And what part of Kalto Province was that again?"

"I don't see any point in this," Kathryn said in frustration.

"There is a point, a very important one. It has to do with our schedule and whether we can keep it or not. Can we?"

"I don't know," she said truthfully.

Terla suddenly burst back into the room, carrying the boy that had confronted them earlier. He was struggling to get free. "Look what I caught sneaking around outside," he said, keeping a firm grip on his new prisoner.

"Let me go!" the boy yelled.

"The boy has nothing to do with this," Kathryn assured their captors.

"Is he yours?"

"No, he's just someone he met here."

"Don't trust them! They aren't who they say they are!" he yelled. "They lied about coming here on the Continental Transport. I talked to the attendant myself!"

Sarah, deciding it was best that she not draw any extra attention to herself, chose to act four years old. "Thanks a lot," she told the boy sarcastically, sticking out her tongue. "I just want to go home!" she pretended to whine, looking at her mother who had given her a mock stern gaze.

Terla deposited him on the steps with her and Tom, then went to assist Makull in interrogating her mother. It turned out the boy was named Latika and he reported for his school's journal. Sarah only listened partially to his conversation with Tom as she carefully watched her mother. She nearly got hold of her phaser when Terla believed her story about it being survey equipment, but Makull prevented her from picking it up. She listened as Makull told them that he was a patriot and that he believed that polaric ion energy had the potential to destroy the entire world. She heard his strategy to move up their plan a week.

Her mother appeared to make a difficult decision. "Wait!" she called as Makull turned to leave.

Before she could say anything further, she and her daughter both suddenly felt a presence tugging at the corners of their minds. "Kes?" Sarah timidly asked. She and her mother both stared at a certain part of the room. There was no one there.

"Do you have something to tell me, Janeway? That is, if that's your real name," Makull said.

"It is my real name. Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation starship Voyager," she replied. "You wanted the truth. All right, here's the truth. We're from the future, exactly one day in the future."

"You mean I was right?" Latika said excitedly.

"We weren't allowed to tell," Sarah said, frowning. "At least, I thought we weren't."

"Yeah," Tom added.

"In a few hours from now there will be a serious accident on this world that will be caused by a polaric detonation. We came here in an interstellar ship to investigate that explosion. When we arrived we were exposed to the polaric radiation. It's very likely that whatever you're planning to do could be responsible for this tragedy," Kathryn said, desperate.

"And somehow you were able to come back here to warn us?" Makull asked sarcastically.

"The explosion had an after-effect that no one expected. It created fractures in time. We fell through one of those fractures."

"Interstellar ships? Fractures in time? Do you honestly expect us to believe all this?"

Out of the blue, a voice came from Captain Janeway's commbadge. "Chakotay to Janeway. Can you read us?"

She looked down at her commbadge, surprised.

Sarah recovered from her surprise more quickly and managed to hit her own commbadge and spit out "This is Sarah Janeway. We're here, Chakotay!" Terla hadn't been fast enough—he'd managed to snatch her mother's, thinking they were eavesdropping devices, but she had already gotten her message out by the time he grabbed hers and Tom's.

Makull started gathering up things and instructing his men. "Bring them with us—the boy too. I have an idea how they can help." Tom, Kathryn, Sarah, and Latika found themselves being hustled out of the room and onto the street. Sarah listened nervously as her mother and Tom discussed her reason for coming out with the truth: they had violated the Prime Directive just by being there. Without their presence, the explosion may never have occurred.

Makull finally halted them near the power plant's entrance gate. "Your job is to get us past the guards. You'll tell them you're bringing us here to negotiate a settlement of our dispute with the power companies," he told Kathryn.

"I cannot and will not do anything to help you," she replied staunchly.

"Think before you say no. Terla has a weapon trained on the boy and your daughter. If shooting begins, she'll be the first victim, followed by the boy."

Kathryn felt a cold fear settle in her stomach. She chanced a quick glance over her shoulder. Terla had covertly pulled a gun out. His arms were crossed so that it was hidden from the guards' view but ready to use. He stood directly behind Latika and Sarah. They had all heard the threat, but Sarah's face was resolutely determined and she slightly shook her head at her mother. She didn't want her to give into their demands.

Kathryn closed her eyes and silently uttered a brief appeal for both of the children to have quick reflexes. Makull nudged her as a guard stepped forward. "Is there something I can do for you?" the guard wanted to know.

"She's a government representative on official business," Makull replied.

The guard turned his attention to Janeway.

Stepping forward, she firmly said, "I am a hostage. These men are here to break into the plant."

It took the guard a moment to register her words. When he did, he reached for his weapon but wasn't fast enough—Makull had shot him before his hand had left his holster.

Sarah and Latika were both startled by this sudden violence. Remembering the threat against their lives, they realized they were in danger and turned and ran. Terla noticed their escape and aimed his gun at them. Paris leapt to their defense, jumping into the bullet meant for one of them. He fell, clutching his abdomen in agony.

Sarah, Latika, and Kathryn ran to where he lay painfully on the grass. Terla and Makull continued shooting their way into the plant, Makull finally shouting over his shoulder, "Their lives are on your conscience, Janeway!"

Captain Janeway turned her attention to her helm officer. "Don't waste time on me, Captain. You've got to stop them!" he gasped.

"I'm coming with you." Sarah's face was set like stone. Arguing would do nothing. _I won't lose you again!, _she thought. Her mother nodded reluctantly.

"Will you stay with him until help arrives?" Kathryn asked Latika. The young boy nodded, so she gave the two of them a small smile, trying to reassure them. Then, Sarah at her heels, she hurried into the plant, stopping only to retrieve a weapon from a fallen guard.

They quietly followed the sound of Makull and Terla's footsteps through the circular corridors of the plant. They slunk from barrier to barrier, keeping hidden from view as best they could. Finally, they had the two men in sight. They were working on some kind of conduit, apparently trying to sabotage it. Kathryn and her daughter slowly and quietly slunk up behind them. The men were very absorbed in their task, so they were able to close the distance between them with almost no trouble. Sarah could see the contents of the bag at their feet, including the phaser and tricorder they had confiscated from her mother and Tom, as well as the particle injector they were planning to use.

"I need the particle injector," Terla said suddenly. Makull turned and picked up the bag. At that moment, her mother stepped out, her weapon pointed squarely at the man. Sarah stood behind her.

"Just hand that back to me," she instructed.

One day in the future, the away team had set up their polaric generator. "41 by 310, 2‰ drift, range 6 metres. Mark," Tuvok said.

"I have it. Initiating generator," Harry Kim affirmed.

"Scanning for the subspace beacon." B'Elanna Torres frowned at her tricorder. "It doesn't look like they were here."

"It is highly unlikely that Captain Janeway would come here…" Tuvok said, repeating his earlier doubts.

"The Captain did come here," Kes interrupted, insisting. Her newly-emerging telepathic abilities were telling her what had happened. "She was here. So was Sarah. This is where they died."

Unaware of them, Captain Janeway, one day before was trying to explain to Makull. "Everybody on this planet has less than three minutes to live if you go through this, Makull."

"What exactly do you think we are planning to do here?" he asked.

"I assume you're going to sabotage the plant, probably by detonating some kind of device."

"We're not stupid enough to blow up anything here."

"Maybe not, but something's going to go wrong."

"Not unless you fire your weapon near that polaric conduit. Why don't you put it down?"

"Give me the bag." When he didn't, Sarah ran forward and tried to grab it, but Terla quickly lifted it out of her reach and clasped it all the more tightly. "All right then. We'll wait. What time is it?"

Terla pulled out a timepiece and studied it. "401 rotations plus 21."

Kathryn held her weapon steady. "We'll just wait until 23."

"23? What's the importance of 23?" With good-humored sarcasm, he answered his own question. "Oh, this is all about the alleged time of our self-annihilation. All right, let's just see if we can all get through…" He stopped, staring at the corridor behind the two Janeways. Sarah cautiously turned around and gasped. Her mother, curious, looked over her shoulder.

A bright white light had formed in a spider web pattern suspended in the corridor behind them. As they watched, it grew, coming nearer and nearer.

"What's going on?" Terla demanded.

In horror, Kathryn realized, "They're cutting through subspace!"

"It's going to intersect with the conduit!" Makull said in shock.

All the pieces fell into piece. "The rescue attempt—that's what causes the explosion!" Sarah exclaimed.

Her mother turned to Makull and lowered her gun. "Our weapons may be able to seal the hole. It's our only chance!" she said insistently.

Reluctantly, he proffered the bag to her. She grabbed the two phasers from it, keeping one and handing the other to her daughter. "I'm probably going to need your help," she said, and she quickly showed Sarah where to press to make the weapon fire. Together, they created twin streaks of orange lightning that resisted the advance of the subspace tear. Tense seconds passed before the hole in subspace was successfully sealed.

Everyone vanished. Time reset.

Aboard _Voyager_, Tom was attempting to convince Harry to go on a double date with the Delaney sisters.

"I've got a girl back home," Harry argued.

"So what?" Tom countered. "I've got five."

Commander Chakotay was talking to Captain Janeway. "We've identified an M-class planet in the red dwarf system we're approaching. Do you want to change course to investigate?"

Out of nowhere, Sarah appeared on the bridge. She looked rather unsettled and was still dressed in the shirt and shorts she had slept in. "Sarah," her mother said, surprised. "You're up early. Is something wrong?" The small girl looked around the bridge a bit, then spontaneously ran to her mother and hugged her tightly around the knees.

"I…I don't know. I just had this horrible feeling you were in danger," she said quietly.

"Well, I'm not." Kathryn Janeway smiled at her daughter.

Kes suddenly came onto the bridge, also looking rather unsettled. "Kes, what's wrong?" Neelix asked.

"The planet—everyone was killed, there was this terrible explosion…"

"You had a bad dream."

"No, it was more than that…"

The captain ordered sensor sweeps of the planet, which came up with nothing. They brought an image of the planet up on the viewscreen. It looked very much alive.

"Thank you, captain," Kes said, and she left the bridge with Neelix.

Sarah Janeway hugged her mother once more, as if to make sure she was really and truly there. "Well," she finally said. "I guess I'll get some breakfast and start my lessons, then…"

"Make it a quick breakfast," Kathryn said in a mock stern tone.

Sarah looked up at her questioningly.

"Don't forget—you start your duties today."

Breaking into a wide grin, Sarah scampered off, ready for her new job.

Author's Note: Thanks for sticking with me. I hope you liked this new chapter. Please review!!


	9. Phage

_Disclaimer: All characters, vessels, science, and the original plot belong to Paramount with the exception of Sarah Janeway, the new parts of the plot, and anything else that I made up In addition, the piece of the Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling—I merely borrowed it to help enhance the story._

Author's Note: --gets down on knees-- Please forgive me!! I know that it's been weeks and weeks since I updated this story, but I can explain! This is how it went (and I can explain, remember): I was out of school sick for two days, I was a counselor for the elementary school camping trip for three days, prom was that weekend, and I had to write a horrible 10 page research paper for English class. So I had all that make-up work to do, plus the paper, and as of late I've had to start preparing for finals. So I've been working on this story whenever I could: One sentence here, two paragraphs there, etc. I hope that how long it took to write made it a good story.

Another apology: It is, once again, **really** long.

I hope you enjoy the newest chapter in the _Anomaly _'saga'! (And that you forgive me!)

_P.S. This story just hit the following stats: 69 reviews(awesome!), 6,300 hits(awesome!), 4 c2s, 15 favs, and 46 alerts!! Thank you soooo much everyone!!!!_

_Anomaly_

'_Phage'_

Sarah followed her mother and Chakotay as they headed towards the Mess Hall, where they intended to have a quick breakfast before heading up to the bridge. She had to take two steps for every one step her mother and the first officer took, but she still kept up fairly well. She listened with only half her attention as they talked about the power shortages and the possibility of mining dilithium on a planetoid they had found. They suddenly stopped in front of the doors to the captain's private dining room, Kathryn asking Chakotay if he was sure he wouldn't join her for a breakfast of ration pack number five, stewed tomatoes and dehydrated eggs.

"Sounds delicious," he replied with a touch of sarcasm. "But I've already had my vacuum-packed oatmeal this morning."

Sarah made a disgusted face. Not one of the ration packs was any good.

Chakotay laughed appreciatively at the face she made and gently ruffled her hair. "Smart kid."

Sarah smiled and waved as he walked off. "See you on the bridge!" she called out.

Kathryn watched her daughter and Chakotay. When they had first met, there had been a covert hostility between them, as neither was sure how to accept the other. Chakotay's suspicions of her had offended her daughter and made the situation tenser. Once they had worked out their differences, a friendship had begun to blossom. It was almost comical to see the petite girl talking amicably to and fetching things for the large man.

Her daughter interrupted her reverie by tugging gently on her uniform. "Come on, mama," Sarah insisted. "We don't want to be late."

"No, we don't," Kathryn agreed with a grin she tried to hide. Sarah had picked up duties as Bridge Assistant with plenty of enthusiasm.

The two of them stepped into the dining room and found, to their shock, Neelix cooking breakfast. There were pots and pans everywhere, not to mention baskets of vegetables and fruits. Flames flared from two large makeshift burners and a strong aroma of food hung in the air.

_Oh no, _Sarah moaned silently, shrinking back against the wall. Of all the crewmembers on the ship that she had met, Neelix was the only one she still couldn't really talk to. He made her…uneasy. She knew he was actually very nice, but he was just so…so…_odd_. Normal children probably would have found him amusing and fun, but she merely thought he was strange. 'Normal' was something she had never known.

"What is going on here?" her mother demanded.

"Captain! You caught me by surprise!"

"I could say the same thing. What are you doing?"

Sarah pushed herself back against the wall as much as she could and closed her eyes in discomfort as she listened to Neelix explaining how he'd turned the dining room into a galley because the senior officers had been disappointed with the rations as of late. Her mother asked who had approved such a project, and Neelix answered that no one had. She then informed him that the cabin _had _been her private dining room. Neelix appeared rather flustered, but before the conversation could go any farther, Chakotay contacted them.

"Bridge to Captain Janeway."

"Go ahead."

"We're approaching the rogue planetoid."

"On my way." She turned to Neelix. "I want you to come with me. We'll deal with this later."

"Ah, before we go," Neelix said, removing his chef's hat and attempting to smooth things over. "Would your daughter like anything to eat?"

Determinedly avoiding eye contact, Sarah kept her gaze towards the floor and shook her head quickly, murmuring, "No, thank you."

Both the adults seemed confused by her refusal but neither had time to address it. Neelix quickly called out for Ensign Parsons and hurriedly gave him a short series of directions on how to keep the kitchen running in his absence. Then, as a trio, they left the Mess Hall.

The turbolift ride to the Bridge was rather awkward. Captain Janeway kept her gaze resolutely forward, concentrating on the business at hand and trying to forget about Neelix's unauthorized galley. Neelix alternately looked from Sarah to her mother several times, starting to open his mouth to speak several times but deciding better of it. Sarah didn't look at either adult, but anxiously fingered the low ponytail that she had hurriedly pulled her hair into that morning. She was only too happy when the doors of the turbolift slid smartly open and she could escape the confines of the lift and its uncomfortable atmosphere.

Taking her usual position at the often-unused station directly across from the science station, Sarah used the computer to call up her list of duties and errands for the day. She made a few minor changes that her mother had informed her of that morning, then saved and closed the program. Her legs swung free far above the deck plate in a chair designed for an adult as she adjusted her short-sleeve navy blue shirt and called up the day's study program. Since her mother had given her permission to begin a school program, she had been working hard to learn Earth history and algebra. She was currently studying early civilizations in the Middle East and this morning would start working on equations with more than one variable.

Her attention became divided as Lieutenant Torres informed the bridge crew of a series of subterranean caves in the planetoid with a breathable atmosphere.

"How much dilithium are we talking about?" Kathryn Janeway asked.

"It's hard to get a precise reading," Torres responded, frowning slightly at the readouts before her. "It could be anywhere from five hundred to one thousand metric tons."

"Just as I said," Neelix added enthusiastically. "I think there are a few Yalidian engineers who'd give all three of their spinal cords to know where this planet is."

Sarah winced inwardly. _Does he have to talk __**all **__the time? And always about meaningless things?_

As she tried to refocus her attention on the math problem on the screen before her, her mother ordered an away team to do a preliminary geological analysis and told B'Elanna that she should get her dilithium refinery online.

"Ensign Kim," Chakotay said, indicating that he should join the away team.

"Where're you going?" she heard Chakotay say, and she turned around to see what was happening. Neelix had moved from the middle of the bridge to where the away team was gathering near the turbolift.

"With you," Neelix responded, his face incredulous. "I've been studying my tricorder operations manual. Lieutenant Torres has brought me up to date on dilithium geophysics. I've been preparing for this mission all week."

Sarah felt her stomach churn unpleasantly once again. _Why does he insist on going against every Starfleet protocol in the book?_ As the daughter of a Starfleet captain, protocol was something she knew thoroughly.

Chakotay looked to her mother for a decision. After a moment, she nodded and Neelix happily joined the away team in the turbolift. Exceedingly chatty as per usual, he started to ramble to Commander Chakotay and Ensign Kim. "I think you'll find me extremely helpful, Commander. I remember the first time that I passed this planet. It was about three years ago…" The closing of turbolift doors cut off the rest of his story.

With a sigh she hoped wasn't audible, Sarah finally was able to give her full attention to her math. She worked diligently on each problem, carefully correcting any mistakes the computer identified. The computer tutored her every step of the way, giving reasons for each phase required to solve the problem in question. That aspect was immensely helpful—she didn't just want to be _told_ that things had to be a certain way; she wanted to know _why_.

As she contentedly worked away on her algebra, she suddenly could tell someone was staring at her. Turning around slowly, she found her mother looking at her intently. Sarah gave her a questioning glance, but Kathryn merely gave her a small smile and turned away. Somewhat confused, she nonetheless shrugged it off and turned back to her own work.

Less than a minute had gone by when Kathryn Janeway called out to her daughter, "Sarah, meet me in my ready room. Mr. Tuvok, you have the bridge."

Through a haze, Sarah heard him answer, "Aye captain." _ I don't like the way she said that. _Reluctantly, she closed her math program and hopped from the chair and made her way slowly to the ready room that her mother had disappeared into.

The doors swished open and a very nervous Sarah entered her mother's quiet office. Kathryn Janeway sat silently behind her desk, not even pretending to work on her computer. The captain's eyes slipped up to meet her daughter's.

"I know there's no point in beating around the bush, not with you," Kathryn said, with a little smile. "So I'll just get right to it: What is it between you and Neelix? You seem to be at least on speaking terms with the rest of the crew."

Sarah sighed deeply. _I should have known. _She walked up to the couch along the huge window in the ready room and flopped down on it. Her mother came over and sat beside her. Crossing her arms across her chest, Sarah closed her eyes and did her best to explain. "Neelix…well, he's…embarrassing."

Kathryn tipped her head towards her daughter. "How so?"

The young girl sighed again. "He talks too much. He acts…strangely. He's overly friendly. He goes against Starfleet procedures."

"I know he can be eccentric…"

"Turning your dining room into a galley is eccentric?"

"You've done your best to avoid him since he joined the crew almost a month ago, far before the galley incident."

Another sigh. "I know Starfleet. I even know Maquis—I know what it's like to be an outcast."

"Oh, Sarah," her mother protested.

Sarah shook her head. "Remember when we tried that child care facility a while ago to give Grandma Gretchen a break? I do know what's it like to be looked at with suspicion and to not fit in. And then I understand Kes, even, because she's the quiet type. But I don't know what it's like to be so enthusiastic about everything and so talkative." She closed her eyes again. "He makes me uncomfortable."

Kathryn gently patted her daughter's shoulder. "I know he's different," she admitted. "Sometimes he can even be annoying. But 70,000 lightyears is a long way to go while avoiding someone. Maybe you should try saying something to him."

"I can't tell him he's embarrassing—it'll hurt his feelings."

"You can put it differently. I know you have a way with words." Her mother lifted her up to a sitting position and hugged her tightly. "Just promise me you'll try."

Sarah hugged her back. "All right. I'll try."

"That's my girl. Now, run along. I've got a lot of work to do if we're going to mine this dilithium."

She slipped from the couch as her mother headed back to her desk. As she exited the ready room, her intention was to return to her math. Once on the bridge, however, she felt she needed a break. She detoured to the turbolift. The doors slid shut and she ordered the computer, "Deck three." _I'll go to our quarters, _she thought, _and I'll read another chapter of Sherlock Holmes. _But before the lift had reached its destination, Sarah was suddenly overcome with a sense of panic and fear. "Belay that! Deck five, Sick Bay!" she yelled. _What's going on?_ she wondered, trying to shake off her feeling of terror. Her knees were actually shaking by the time the turbolift stopped. She stumbled out and hurried to Sick Bay as fast as her trembling limbs could take her.

_Something's gone wrong with the away team, _she realized, though once again she didn't know how she knew. _What could have happened? And why do I __**always**__ know something's wrong?_

The large doors of the sickbay slid silently open as she approached them. She had barely stepped across the threshold before the shimmer of a transporter beam assembled the forms of Neelix, Commander Chakotay, and Ensign Kim in the main surgical bay. No one noticed her appearance, for Neelix was lying on the biobed in the back of the room, gasping and thrashing. The Doctor ran over with a medical tricorder and began scanning him.

"Get the blood gas infuser!" the EMH yelled to Chakotay.

"The what?"

"Equipment storage unit 2, second shelf from the left. Now!" The Doctor's voice resonated with urgency.

Chakotay hurried off to get it as the Doctor told Ensign Kim "Hold him still." She could hear the hiss of a hypospray as Harry asked, "What's happening, Doctor?"

"He's going into a coma," was the grim reply.

Fear froze her to the spot and her mind seemed to shut down. The Doctor raised the black clamshell-like sides of the biobed to take detailed continuous readings. _This is serious. What happened down there?_ At that moment, Chakotay arrived back with the blood gas infuser and the Doctor immediately applied it to Neelix's forehead.

"The infuser will keep his oxygen levels stable for the next hour or so but after that he'll die."

Cold fear settled in the pit of Sarah's stomach.

"His lungs have been removed."

Chakotay and Harry stared in disbelief at the EMH.

As she processed this chilling last piece of information, her mind slowly started working again. _The Doctor's going to need help, _she realized. _No one here has any idea what to do. Tom! Tom's a field medic. _With that, she rushed back out of Sick Bay and tore through the corridors back to the turbolift.

"Computer, locate Lieutenant Paris," she called.

"Lieutenant Paris is in his quarters," came the calm, mechanical reply.

_He must be off-duty. I hope he doesn't mind, but something like this is much better explained in person, rather than over a comm channel. _Nervously, she rode the turbolift to the appropriate deck, shifting her weight from one foot to the other anxiously. The lift finally came to a halt and she tore between the two halves of the door before it had completely opened. She hurtled along the corridor and nearly missed Tom's quarters in her haste. Screeching to a halt, she retraced her steps and pressed the door chime insistently and repeatedly.

"I'm coming, I'm coming. Hold your horses," she heard Tom say from within. The doors slid open and he stuck his head out, at first looking annoyed, but upon seeing Sarah his face changed to confused. "Sarah. What can I do for you?"

"Quick…come…Neelix…lungs…Doctor…" she gasped as best she could, winded from running.

"Easy, Shadow. Calm down and say that again."

It was her turn to be confused as she tried to catch her breath. "Shadow?"

"Can I call you Shadow? It kind of presented itself as a nickname. I mean, you're always following your mother around…"

"I like it." She took several deep breaths. It took only a split second for her mind to get back on track. Urgently, she then repeated what she had tried to say earlier. "Tom, you have to go to Sick Bay, right now! Something happened to Neelix while he was on the away mission. His lungs have been removed and the Doctor says he's going to die! The Doctor's going to need your help. Oh, please, Tom, hurry!"

His face was as worried as hers as he ran after her to the turbolift.

Sarah stood next to her mother as Chakotay reported on what had happened. "By the time we got to him," he was saying. "He was unconscious."

Kathryn's face was both anxious and angry. "How could anyone remove his organs so quickly?"

"The Doctor said whoever did this used some kind of transporter to beam the lungs directly out of his body."

Just then, Kes entered the room. "What happened?" she wanted to know.

"It appears that Neelix was attacked. We don't know how it happened, but someone has surgically removed his lungs," the captain gently replied. Worried, Kes moved past the trio to see Neelix.

Kathryn Janeway looked down at her daughter. She had arrived in Sick Bay shortly after Sarah had returned from fetching Tom, an instance of quick thinking and initiative that made her proud. In that space of time, she hadn't said a word. Now, as she looked more closely, she saw that it wasn't only worry on her daughter's face. She also saw guilt.

Kneeling down, she said firmly, "This is _not _your fault. The fact that the two of you weren't best friends has _nothing _to do with Neelix's accident."

Sarah turned to her mother. "I know," she replied quietly. "But I still can't help feeling a little responsible."

Captain Janeway stood back up, asking Harry Kim, "Did you find any evidence of the lifesign that Neelix reported?"

"I've analyzed the sensor logs from Neelix's tricorder. The bioscanner picked up a single class-3 organism."

"The blood gas infuser will keep him alive for another forty-seven minutes. The only chance for his survival I see at the moment is to get his own lungs back," the Doctor spoke up.

"Can't we fit him with a pair of artificial lungs?" Kathryn asked.

The Doctor shook his head. "His respiratory system is directly linked to multiple points along his spinal column. It's too complex to replicate. I may be able to surgically re-attach the organs if we get them back, but in the meantime we'll have to search for other options."

Resolutely, Kathryn informed her first officer, "Commander, I'm taking an away team back to the planet. You're in charge until we return. Inform Mr. Tuvok I want three armed security detachments to accompany us. Issue type-3 phasers."

"Aye captain," he replied.

"Be extremely careful," Sarah begged her mother, not liking at all the sound of the strange aliens that they were dealing with.

"I will," she promised. Looking from Neelix's still form to her daughter's concerned and somewhat guilty face, she quietly suggested, "Why don't you stay here? You can keep Kes company, and Neelix too, when we recover his lungs."

Some of the self-blame lifted from Sarah's face. "I think I will." Her mother nodded and hurried out of Sick Bay with Harry Kim. Sarah watched them leave, and then climbed onto a biobed out of the way of the Doctor and Paris.

"Mr. Paris," the Doctor was saying. "Did they teach you how to run a respiratory series in your biochemistry classes at the Academy?"

"No, I'm afraid they didn't," he replied, somewhat apologetically.

At that point, she lost interest in the conversation and lay down to wait. She heard Tom saying they didn't have a cytoplasmic stimulator, the Doctor replying that he should replicate one, the Doctor explaining that the design schematics were in the medical database, and then his sarcastic comment, "The man drives a 700,000 ton starship so somebody thinks he'd make a good medic."

Kes wanted to know if she could donate a lung to Neelix, but the Doctor explained it was impossible. He drifted out of earshot and for a while, all Sarah could hear was the soft beeps from the various medical devices in the sickbay. Suddenly, the Doctor was back, sounding excited. Curious, she sat up and looked around as he responded to Tom's query, "I'm using the transporter matrix to get exact specifications for Neelix's lungs."

"I thought you just said we _can't_ replicate his lungs."

"We can't. But if I can reconfigure my emitter array I might be able to create a pair of holographic lungs for Mr. Neelix."

"_Holographic_ lungs?" Sarah asked, inquisitively.

The Doctor looked up, realizing for the first time that she was still there. He included her in his explanation to Tom and Kes. "If it works," he said, "I can precisely control his pulmonary functions to allow for normal breathing."

"But a hologram is just a projection of light in magnetic containment field," Tom said. Before Sarah could speak up and correct him, the Doctor walked up to him and slapped him across the face.

She could only stare.

"Now," the Doctor said, adjusting something on a control panel behind him, "You hit me."

Bewildered, Tom complied. His hand passed right through the Doctor's face.

"The magnetic containment field," the Doctor began.

"Sorry to interrupt," Sarah said, "But may I explain? I want to see if I remember this correctly. My mother explained it to me once."

The Doctor considered for a moment, then nodded.

Sarah climbed down from the biobed and hurried over to where the Doctor, Tom, and Kes were standing. "The magnetic containment field that creates the illusion of the Doctor's body can be altered to let matter pass through or," and here the Doctor fiddled with the control panel again, "stop matter from passing through. Am I right?"

"In the basic nuances, yes," the Doctor admitted, rather surprised.

"So," she continued thoughtfully, remembering the notes on the pulmonary and respiratory systems that she had glanced over while preparing her school program. "If you create holographic lungs for Neelix, you'll alter their containment field in the same way to allow oxygen and carbon dioxide to go from the lungs to the bloodstream."

"Right." He looked at her incredulously. "Are you certain you're only four?"

"Four years, one month, three weeks, and two days."

The Doctor shook his head and tried to move off to begin the procedure, but was stopped by Kes' hand on his arm. "I want to know what this means. What are you going to do to him?"

"There's no time to explain the exact procedure right now."

"Oh, well, make the time, because I'm not going to let you perform any experimental surgery on Neelix until I know exactly what you're doing and what the risks are."

The Doctor nodded over his shoulder towards Sarah. "I'm sure she can give you the gist of it."

Kes looked down at her. Swallowing nervously, she said in a quiet tone, "If it doesn't work, he'll die. That's the risk. But if the Doctor does nothing, he'll die anyway."

Expounding, the Doctor added, "It's his only immediate chance for survival. If he does survive, he'll have to be held motionless in an isotropic restraint. The lungs need to be perfectly aligned to his internal physiology. The computer won't be able to compensate for any body movement whatsoever."

"How long will he have to stay like that?"

"The rest of his life, unless we can get his original lungs back." The Doctor hurried off to prepare for the procedure.

Tom Paris moved to Kes' side. "Kes, I know it sounds pretty grim but it's better than losing him completely. This way he'll still be alive, and maybe we can find a better solution somewhere down the road. What do you think Neelix would want?"

"I'm not sure," she replied, looking uncertain and troubled. "But I do know that I want him to live."

Sarah returned to the biobed, extremely worried, as Tom and the Doctor readied everything that they would need.

The procedure was a success. Sarah stood with the Doctor, Tom, and Kes as the Doctor told Neelix about what he had done. When Neelix discovered that he could be confined within the restraint for the rest of his life, he said, "Well, if I'm going to be in here awhile, now's a good time as any to tell you: your ceiling is hideous."

They all looked up. They'd never thought about it before.

The Doctor sighed irritably. "I didn't design the room, I just work here."

"Something with a bit of color would help, maybe a nice tapestry or a painting. Could you dim the lights a little?"

"I'm a doctor, Mr. Neelix, not a decorator." To Kes and Sarah, he added, "Perhaps the two of you would be willing to accommodate his aesthetic needs."

"And some music would be nice," Neelix continued. "Or better yet, are you programmed to sing?" He looked over at Sarah as best he could while restrained. "You're taking some kind of music lessons, aren't you?"

She opened her mouth but couldn't say anything. She'd only had a few piano lessons. Being significantly smarter than the average child helped, but it was still hard work. In addition, she actually didn't enjoy it very much, but she wasn't going to admit it to anyone who might tell her mother.

At that moment, her mother's voice came over the comm system. "Janeway to Paris. Please report to the Bridge."

Tom replied that he was on his way. As soon as he had left sickbay, Neelix started rant about Paris swooping in between him and Kes. The two of them argued back and forth, Neelix finally saying, "You should just let me die."

"Stop that! We're going to get through this together."

The Doctor walked up. "Visiting hours are over," he said. "He needs rest."

"When can I come back?" she wanted to know.

"1700 hours, not a minute before."

Kes kissed him goodbye and left.

The Doctor turned to Sarah. "You too."

She shook her head. "I'm staying. I have nowhere else to go right now." In an undertone, she added, "He won't get into an argument with me."

"This is a Sick Bay, not a nursery."

"I'm not here to play," she said with quiet anger. "I'm here to make amends with Neelix."

The Doctor looked from her to Neelix and back again, and then held up a warning finger. "Five minutes, that's it. Don't get him worked up or I will have someone escort you back to your quarters." Sighing again, he went into his office, muttering all the way. Sarah watched him leave, then slowly made her way over to where Neelix lay on the biobed, everything but his head hidden underneath the isotropic restraint. Uncertainly, she twisted her hands together, biting the inside of her bottom lip. She opened her mouth, closed it, and opened it again. Finally, she thought she had found an acceptable conversation starter.

"You're right. The ceiling _is _ugly."

"I see you're talking to me now," he replied.

Sarah flushed in embarrassment. "I-I-I…I'm sorry. I never meant to be rude. It's just that…"

"I scare you?"

"No, that's not it," Sarah quickly replied. "You…well, you're very different from anyone I've ever met. You do things that I find strange. I didn't talk to you because I didn't know how."

"I make you uncomfortable."

"Yes," she admitted quietly.

"Well, why didn't you say something?" Shockingly, Neelix almost sounded happy again. "Do you know the real reason we haven't been friends?"

"Um…"

"You don't know how to have fun! You're always so serious, so stiff. You should loosen up once in a while! Why, you're still just a little girl."

"So I've been told," she said, standing quietly and thinking. _Maybe he's right. Maybe I am too serious sometimes. Maybe it wasn't just Neelix. Maybe I've been part of the friction. Maybe mama was right when she said I was trying too hard to grow up too soon._

The Doctor came over to the biobed and leaned over Neelix. "Don't worry, I'm not going to kiss you. I'm only adjusting the restraint."

"I'll try to contain my disappointment," was the Talaxian's sarcastic reply.

"Your five minutes are up," the Doctor added to Sarah.

She nodded. "All right, I'm going." To Neelix, she whispered, "Thanks. I'll be back."

And she was, much later and after doing some extensive thinking and research. Upon entering Sick Bay, she could see that Kes had been there, for the area around and especially above Neelix had been well decorated. Shiny gold and rich red fabrics were draped about the walls and a circular piece of metal with what looked like a medallion and a blue ball with intricate designs on it hung above him, probably a mobile of some kind. She heard him call out to the Doctor, "I can't see you over there. I feel like I'm all alone."

"You're not all alone," she spoke up. "I'm here."

"Sarah," Neelix sounded surprised. "What are you doing?"

"Yes," the Doctor added, poking his head out of his office. "What _are_ you doing back here? It's 2100 hours, far past your bedtime, I should think."

"It's called a sleepover," Sarah said. She was clutching tightly to her well-used pillow with her stuffed Paint horse tucked under one arm and dragging a bed sheet behind her. "It's an acceptable activity for a child, especially a female. You made me do some thinking Neelix. Perhaps I _have_ forgotten how to have fun." She swallowed. "Maybe if I remember, we could be friends."

Neelix smiled. "Absolutely."

"Now wait a minute…" the Doctor began.

Sarah held up a hand. "Don't worry. I'm just going to sleep on the floor—nothing disruptive or rowdy. Besides, couldn't Neelix use a little distraction? I know I'd hate to have to just lie there with nothing to do."

The Doctor sighed loudly and threw up his hands. "Be my guest," he said, sounding rather cross and put-upon, and strode back into his office, muttering something that sounded like "Captain's daughter…Sickbay turning into a playroom…"

Sarah began to hum as she laid out her blanket and pillow on the floor. "That's a lovely tune," Neelix remarked. "What is it?"

"Oh, just an ancient children's song that I learned for my piano lessons. It's called 'Mary Had A Little Lamb'."

"Would you sing it for me?"

"I've never tried singing." She was half afraid to, because of her rocky experience with music lessons. "I did bring a book I thought I'd read to you for a while, if you want."

"That sounds wonderful. Which book is it?"

She pulled the large hardcover book from her pillowcase and tucked it under her arm. She then cautiously climbed onto the biobed, using her elbows to pull herself up. Perched carefully on the edge of the bed, she held the book out so that Neelix could see the cover. "_Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. _It's a story set in 21st century Earth, in a country called Great Britain. It's about a boy who thinks he's just a normal kid, but then finds out he's actually a wizard."

"A what?"

"A person with special, magical powers." She went to climb down but Neelix stopped her.

"Why don't you stay up here? I can see you better."

She assented with a nod and carefully sat near his head. With her feet dangling several feet off the floor, she opened the book to the first page and began to read: "Mr. And Mrs. Dursley of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense…"

She wasn't quite sure how long she read, but when she noticed that she had just read the same sentence three times, she blinked her eyes blearily and noticed that Neelix was fast asleep. She clambered to the ground and tucked her book out of the way as she snuggled under her sheet and curled up with her stuffed horse. She must have dozed off, for a short while later she heard the murmur of voices from the Doctor's office. She drowsily picked up her head an inch or two and saw that the Doctor was talking with Kes. Satisfied that nothing bad had happened, she laid her head back down on her soft pillow and tucked the sheet up to her chin.

The next thing she knew, her mother was gently shaking her awake. Sarah blinked sleepily and brushed a hand across her eyes as she stretched and sat up. The lights were on in Sick Bay—it was morning. As she sat up and glanced around, she realized that there were two aliens standing behind her mother, flanked by Tuvok and another security guard, both of them with phasers drawn. She recoiled with a gasp of utter shock and horror when she saw how hideously ravaged their skin and faces were. They were raw and pink and mismatched, from what appeared to be numerous grafts.

Kathryn Janeway knelt down and quietly told her daughter, "These men are Vidiians. They harvest organs to survive a disease called the Phage. They're the aliens that stole Neelix's lungs. Unfortunately, one of them already had the lungs transplanted into him, so we can't get them back. They're here to see if they can help."

Sarah slowly stood up with her mother's help. "Can you help him?" she asked the Vidiians.

"We're about to find out," one of them replied, and he took a strange-looking device and waved it over Neelix. "These simulated organs are primitive. It's amazing he's still alive," he added after a few seconds. He then pointed his device at Tuvok, who quickly pulled his phaser. "This is set to scan only," the alien said.

"Proceed," Tuvok replied. "Carefully."

One by one, the Vidiian man scanned the crewmembers present. The device sounded an alert when he scanned the Doctor. "Strange. According to my readings, you are not here."

"Believe me, I wish I weren't," the Doctor said irately.

When the alien reached Sarah with his scanner, it beeped wildly. "Fascinating. You have the most unusual DNA I've ever seen." He sounded somewhat excited.

In fright, she ducked behind her mother, and heard him add: "Odd. The child's readings won't stay in the scanner." He shrugged, and said, "The rest of you are healthy. You are all compatible for organ transplant."

The Doctor protested, saying, "Wait a minute. We've already considered this. Talaxian physiology is different from anyone else on this ship. His immune system would reject their lungs immediately."

"Your surgical knowledge is inferior. We will simply adjust his immunogenicity. It won't be a problem. Which of you will donate a lung?"

"Me," Kes said, immediately and firmly.

"No, absolutely not. It's too dangerous. Let someone else do it," Neelix argued.

"No. I want to do it, Neelix. I'm willing to take the risk. Besides, you've done so much for me. Let me give you something, just for once."

After a moment, he assented. "All right."

Captain Janeway, with Sarah directly behind her, strode to Neelix's side and said. "I look forward to sampling your cooking, Mr. Neelix."

"You mean I can keep my kitchen?"

"Well, at least until we get the replicators back online."

Sarah added with a small, shy grin, "And I look forward to having a new friend."

Neelix smiled. "Thank you Captain, Sarah. Oh, and Captain, I'll see you at breakfast. You too, Sarah."

Several hours later, Sarah tiptoed back to Sick Bay, where she found both Kes and Neelix resting comfortably. She sought out the Doctor in his office. "Excuse me," she said. "But did everything work out all right?"

The Doctor looked up from his computer. "Yes," he replied. "They're both on the way to recovery."

"Thank you." She turned to leave.

"Wait," the Doctor called out. She turned back. He looked rather uncomfortable. "Miss Janeway, I apologize for my earlier behavior." He sighed. "I'm afraid I wasn't programmed to deal with children, except as patients."

"Don't worry about it. You were under a lot of stress. I didn't take it personally."

"Well, I appreciate you keeping Mr. Neelix company. I have no doubt that you were instrumental in keeping him calm. Many people would begin to feel trapped and panic, likely causing themselves to hyperventilate."

"Give yourself some credit. If it had happened, I'm sure you would have learned how to deal with it." She smiled at the Doctor. "I have to go. I'll see you later."

A few minutes later, she entered the ready room, where she waited quietly on the couch as her mother made a log entry.

"Captain's log, supplemental. The aliens have successfully transplanted one of Kes' lungs into Neelix. The dampening field has been deactivated and I have allowed them to beam back to their vessel. We are resuming a course home."

Kathryn Janeway looked up at her daughter and smiled. "So you and Neelix are friends now?"

Sarah smiled back. "Yes we are. So now I don't have to worry about going 70,000 lightyears while trying to avoid him. He's still weird but I've learned to be more accepting."

"I also heard that you've remembered how to be a kid."

"Yes. I think I'm going to take a break from school and lessons tomorrow and run a fun Holodeck program. Don't worry," she said quickly. "I'll be on time for my duties."

Kathryn shook her head. "No, don't bother." She walked over and sat beside her daughter. Locking eyes with her, she said firmly, almost as though her daughter was a Starfleet officer, "Take the day off."

Sarah acquiesced. "Ok, ok. I will."

"Good girl. Now, what do you say we run down to the Mess Hall for a snack?" In an undertone, she added, "It'll probably be the last time we'll know what we're eating."

Both laughing, they left the ready room in much better spirits than the day before.

Author's Note: I really hope you liked this new chapter. Please review, if you can. Oh, by the way, I **did** receive **one** correct guess as to Sarah's father. Keep them coming!! Thanks so much to all you wonderful readers and reviewers!!!!


	10. The Cloud

_Disclaimer: All characters, vessels, science, and the original plot belong to Paramount with the exception of Sarah Janeway, the new parts of the plot, and anything else that I made up._

Author's Note: What can I say anymore? 'Sorry' is getting a little redundant… I really wish summer vacation meant 'unlimited free time' but for me it's more like 'unlimited chores'. I'm going to try really hard to get another chapter out by next Wednesday, though, so keep your fingers crossed for me. I hope this chapter turned out all right—a lot of it was written in the middle of the night. I had fun with it and a lot happens in it, which is why it's so long.

Thanks for reading and review if you can!! (90 reviews is _fantastic_! Thanks so much everyone! Shall we make it 100?)

_Anomaly_

'_The Cloud'_

Sarah was still half asleep when she heard her mother get up. She could hear her make the bed, use the sonic shower, and head out into the living room. Grateful that she would be allowed a few more minutes of sleep, she rolled over and began to drift off, until she heard her mother begin to make a log entry.

"Personal log, stardate 48546.2. Our journey is several weeks old now, and I have begun to notice in my crew, in myself, and in my daughter, a subtle change as the reality of our situation settles in. Here in the Delta Quadrant, we are virtually the entire family of man. We are more than a crew, and I must find a way to be more than a captain to these people, but it's not clear to me exactly how to begin. At the Academy, we're taught that a captain is expected to maintain a certain distance. Until now I've always been comfortable with that distance. Maybe this is just the way it works, maybe the distance is necessary, maybe more than ever they need me to be larger than life. I only wish I felt larger than life. Computer, delete last sentence_."_

Sarah lay quietly and thought. _Things __**have**__ changed. I guess it's easier for me, being a kid. Even though I'm the captain's daughter, they don't have to view me as an authority figure or anything. I'm probably a lot more approachable. I'm friends with Tom and Harry and Chakotay and Neelix and Kes and Natalie, but I haven't seen mama chatting with anyone but Chakotay or Tuvok off-duty. _She rolled onto her stomach and buried her face in the pillow. _It must be really hard socially to be the captain, especially now._

"Sarah," Kathryn called out after she had finished recording her log entry.

"Hmm?" came the sleepy reply.

"Shower and get dressed and we'll go get some breakfast."

"Ok." Sarah tumbled out of bed and trotted into the bathroom, a pair of black shorts, a light purple shirt, and socks and boots in hand. It took her only a minute to use the sonic shower and dress herself. She then hurried out into the sitting room where her mother waited.

"Feel like a walk before breakfast?" Kathryn asked.

Sarah stretched her arms over her head, getting the tired feeling out of them. "Sure."

They left their quarters and entered the turbolift. It deposited them several decks below. They stepped out as two waiting crewmen stood aside to let them pass. No one spoke—Captain Janeway merely nodded to them in acknowledgement. Mother and daughter continued down the corridors. They came upon another crewmember who was thoughtfully staring out of one of the large windows. Sarah glanced up at her mother and saw her face soften as she watched him look off towards their so very distant home. They continued walking along without saying anything, finally entering Main Engineering.

"Captain!" Lieutenant Torres said in surprise, looking down at them from the level above. "I, I didn't realize there was an inspection scheduled."

"Not an inspection, lieutenant," Captain Janeway corrected. "A stroll."

B'Elanna hurried across the upper level and hastily started to climb down the ladder, reporting, "We should have the warp drive up and running by 0900 hours. Recalibrating the reactant injectors is the only thing left we have to do."

Sarah hurried along with her mother as she called out, "Carry on." B'Elanna still hadn't reached the bottom of the ladder by the time they had circled around the warp core and were headed back out.

They left the turbolift again on deck two and entered the Mess Hall together. Tom and Harry were sitting at a table near the entrance. Sarah immediately made her way to the galley area of the kitchen, waving at the two bridge officers as she did.

Captain Janeway uncertainly walked up to the two of them. "Gentlemen." They started to get up in acknowledgement, but she waved them down. "As you were. So, has Neelix concocted anything interesting this morning?"

There was an awkward pause. They really had no idea how to deal with each other socially.

After a little while, Harry Kim answered, "There's an ancient Chinese curse: 'May you live in interesting times'. Mealtime is always interesting with Neelix in the kitchen."

Kathryn laughed, albeit a little reservedly. "Well, we shouldn't judge him too harshly. After all, he _is _helping us conserve replicator energy."

"And I'm sure the gastro-intestinal problems will go away as soon as our systems get used to his err...'gourmet touch'," Tom Paris added.

She laughed again. There was another awkward pause. Abruptly, she said, "See you at duty call," and hurried off.

"Should've asked her to join us," Harry said regretfully.

"Ensigns don't invite captains to sit down."

"Why not?"

"Because they don't," was Tom's reply.

"Well, what's wrong with showing a little courtesy?"

"Captains don't want courtesy. They want respect. That's why they don't get chummy with the lower ranks."

"Well, who else is she supposed to get chummy with out here? There aren't many other captains and admirals for her to talk to. Sarah's a great kid and all, but once in a while I'm sure the captain would like a little adult conversation."

Tom shook his head. "If she wants to sit with us she'll ask us to join her. That's the way it's done."

"I think you're working from an old rulebook, Paris," Harry insisted.

"May I sit with you?" a small voice asked at his elbow. Harry turned his head to see Sarah Janeway waiting patiently, a piece of toast in each hand.

"Sure, Shadow. Pull up a chair," Tom replied, pushing a vacant chair out with his foot.

"Thanks," she said. She climbed into chair and knelt rather than sat so that she could see better.

Tom looked incredulously at her breakfast. "That's it?"

"Yes," she replied, nibbling at the outer edges.

"Not even any butter?"

Sarah looked him in the eye, her own eyes wide and staring. "That's not butter up there!"

Tom and Harry laughed appreciatively. Sarah grinned back and finished off her toast. They sat in companionable silence for a minute or two. Sarah finally stood. Wiping crumbs from her shirt and mouth, she said, "Thank you for letting me join you."

"Any time, Shadow. Any time," Tom replied with a wave of his hand.

"Seeya, Tom. Seeya, Harry," she called out she hurried over to the galley area to find her mother. As she rounded the corner of the counter, she heard her mother say, "I don't want something even better. I want coffee!"

_Uh oh, _Sarah thought. _If we're out of coffee, there's going to be trouble. _She could hear Neelix prattle on about his coffee substitute. "It's made from a proteinacious seed I discovered on…"

Her mother sighed irritably. "Never mind. I'll just use one of my replicator rations for coffee."

"That would not be appropriate, Captain," Neelix called out.

Sarah sucked in her breath. _This could be bad…_ She watched her mother close her eyes, probably mentally counting to ten. She turned back around to face Neelix, her face mostly composed, though her voice had a slightly dangerous edge to it. "I beg your pardon?" she said.

"You need to set an example for the crew."

"Well, thank you for reminding me," came her reply, dripping with sarcasm.

The sarcasm was completely lost on the Talaxian. "You're welcome. I mean, after all, if you want the crew to begin to accept natural food alternatives instead of further depleting our energy reserves you need to encourage them by your own choices, don't you?"

Giving in to the circumstances, she sighed and held out her cup. "Fine. Give me your 'even better than coffee' substitute."

"And how about some Takar loggerhead eggs with that this morning?"

It was difficult for her to maintain any amount of patience. She held up her hand to stop him from going on. "Just. Coffee."

Neelix began to pour the beverage, saying, "It's a tiny bit richer blend than you're used to but you'll learn to love it."

It came out of the pot in globs.

The Captain looked horrified. Sarah grabbed at her throat. _Gross…_

At that moment, Commander Chakotay's voice came over the comm channel. "Bridge to Janeway…"

Sensing an escape route, Kathryn immediately replied, "On my way! Janeway out!" She handed the cup to Neelix, hastily saying, "Tomorrow maybe." She hurried out of the Mess Hall.

Sarah watched as Neelix applied the 'waste not, want not' theory and managed to down the 'coffee'. She closed her eyes for a moment. _You shouldn't have to chew a beverage. _Sighing, she approached Neelix. "Um, Neelix?"

He turned to her. "Why, hello Sarah! Are you hungry?"

_Not anymore, _she thought. Aloud, she said, "Ah, no, actually. I've…already eaten." She paused to collect her thoughts. "I, ah,…need to tell you something, Neelix. About my mother…and coffee…"

She made her way to the Bridge a few minutes later. Her 'coffee and Captain Janeway' speech hadn't affected the Talaxian at all. He had insisted that she could make an adjustment, it would just take time. _Not going to happen._ Coffee was what kept her mother going—she simply _needed _it. Sarah had grasped that concept very quickly. For the life of her, though, she couldn't figure out why she liked it so well.

Sarah had actually had coffee before. She had been about three. Her mother had just gotten back from a mission, thoroughly worn out, to find that her little girl had the flu—badly. The combination of 'space-lag' and the stress of the mission had sent her straight to the coffee pot as she tried to care for her daughter without her mother's assistance, for Gretchen had to leave to help a friend of hers that had just lost her husband. In her exhaustion, Kathryn had given Sarah a cup of what she thought was juice but was actually coffee. Sarah, through a numb fog of nausea, had swallowed it without thinking. She found it a rather disgusting substance and was forever uncertain as to why it was so extremely vital to her mother.

She entered the Bridge without fanfare and found the image of a nebula on the screen. "There's coffee in that nebula," she heard her mother say as she seated herself in the captain's chair. Having no time to ask what she meant, she waited until her mother was sufficiently distracted by the arrival of the senior officers and seized the opportunity to slip into the ready room.

Unaware of her daughter's presence, Kathryn Janeway leaned towards her first officer. "Exploring this nebula should raise some spirits around here, don't you think, Commander?"

He nodded. "Definitely."

"You're closer to the crew than I am," she admitted. "How bad is it?"

"There's a 'nuanka', a period of mourning that everyone's going through. It's a natural reaction."

She lowered her voice and confessed, "I'm worried about them. I wish we had a counselor on board but the nature of our mission didn't require one."

Chakotay smiled. "I've heard we do have one."

"You're not talking about Neelix, are you? I mean, he's friendly enough, but as a counselor…"

"Actually, I was talking about your daughter."

Kathryn stared at him, a slightly confused expression on her face. "What?"

"One of my former Maquis officers, Crewman Kari Lang, went to the Academy and became good friends with one of your Starfleet officers: Crewman Aspen Evans."

"Crewman Evans?" she asked.

Chakotay nodded.

She shook her head. "Did you know that Miss Evans is the youngest person assigned to _Voyager_? Just turned 20, barely out of the Academy, and she requested a post aboard this ship. They gave it to her because she had seen a little combat, was showing great promise as a command student, and, for a more personal reason: one of her brothers had joined the Maquis. She thought he'd mentioned something about the _Val Jean _before he had left." Almost whispering, she added, "She was dreadfully disappointed when she learned that he wasn't aboard." Realizing how the conversation had digressed, she added in a normal tone, "What does this have to do with my daughter being a counselor?"

Quietly, Chakotay explained. "Crewman Lang came to me the other day and told me that while she was reading in the hydroponics bay on her off-duty shift, she heard crying. It sounded to her like Aspen, so she became frightened and looked around. Without them seeing her, she found her friend in a corner, quite upset, Sarah sitting next to her. She's not sure exactly what your daughter told her, since she didn't want to get too close, but she does know that Sarah said a few things that seemed to calm her down. After a while, Aspen had stopped crying altogether and hugged Sarah and the two left the hydroponics bay together. Shortly after that, Kari met Aspen for lunch, as they do every day, and she seemed fine." He smiled at the captain. "Kari wanted to me to let you know that she was grateful for your daughter's intervention."

Captain Janeway nodded her head. "Sarah seems to be adjusting quite well. It's good to know that she would help others do the same. But why didn't Crewman Lang come to me herself?"

"Well, a short while ago, you were just another Starfleet captain sent to capture us. It's understandable that some of the Maquis would still find you difficult to approach."

The captain nodded again, thinking.

Chakotay continued. "As for my counselor, we talk to animals. It's a Native American tradition."

"Animals?"

"Our very own counselors. We're taught that an animal guide accompanies us through life. Basically it's what Carl Jung thought he invented when he came up with his active imagination technique in 1932 but we'd been doing pretty much the same thing for centuries."

"Is there a different animal guide for everyone?"

"Actually, yes."

"Let me guess: yours is a bear."

"Why do you say that?"

"You strike me as the bear type."

"Thank you. The bear's a very powerful animal - it has great 'pokata'. But he's not my animal guide. The creature who guides us doesn't define who we are, it merely chooses to be with us."

"Ok. If not a bear, then what?"

"I can't tell you that. It would offend my animal guide if I spoke its name."

"But he guides you well?"

"Actually, it's female, but yes, she usually guides me very well."

"Can one just choose his or her own animal guide?"

"It's not quite that simple…"

Paris' voice interrupted them from the conn. "Captain, we're approaching the perimeter of the nebula."

Kathryn turned her face towards Tom as she replied, "Slow to one third impulse." Turning back to Chakotay, she finished her conversation.

"If you're interested," Chakotay said. "I'll be glad to teach you how to contact your animal guide."

A delighted smile illuminated Kathryn's features. "You've got a date."

_Date. _The word echoed strangely in her head as she stood up to look more closely at the viewscreen. This wasn't a **date**date, per se, but it was still the first time she'd had something even slightly resembling a 'date' since she was pregnant with Sarah.

Sarah, at that moment, snuck out of the ready room and quietly made her way to the turbolift. Her presence was a common enough occurrence that no one even batted an eye at her movements. Safely inside the turbolift, she instructed it, "Deck 6, Holodeck 2." While the ship's energy reserves were rather low, Captain Janeway had managed to secure Holodeck time for her daughter for both lessons and just for fun. She had said she didn't want Sarah going 'stir-crazy'.

The turbolift smoothly descended five decks and opened its doors for her upon reaching deck 6. She hurried out and ran up to the large Holodeck doors. The controls were far out of her reach, but luckily her mother had helped her create a program that was run completely run by voice commands. "Computer," she said confidently. "Activate holoprogram Janeway S alpha blue." A beep from the computer confirmed her request, followed by the computer adding, "Program complete. Enter when ready."

Sarah walked into the Holodeck, the doors sensing her proximity and allowing her inside. The program was essentially a blank template that she could edit as she pleased. At the present, it consisted of merely walls, ceiling, and floors in varying shades of blue. Sarah tipped her head, thinking of what exactly she wanted to do. _Maybe, _she thought after a while, _I should try listening to lots of other types of music, since piano doesn't seem to be my thing. If I hear something I like, maybe I could switch instruments. After all, I'd still be taking music lessons. Mama __**did **__say she wanted me to take __**some **__sort of music and dance lessons. She never said I __**had **__to take piano—she said she wanted me to try it. _Satisfied with her decision, Sarah began calling out changes. "Computer, change surroundings to a grassy meadow in Indiana during the summer." She hadn't been outside in, what had it been, four weeks, five? She was starting to feel somewhat confined and intended to remedy that situation. If she were home right now, she would be outside nearly twenty-four hours a day.

The setting had changed accordingly. She now stood on a small hill in the middle of an ocean of tall, gently waving grass. The occasional daisy and dandelion dotted the landscape. Warm sunshine bathed her skin in its radiance and a soft breeze brushed at the loose curls of her ponytail. Grinning from ear to ear, she closed her eyes for a moment and imagined that she was home in Grandma Gretchen's backyard on Earth, not 70,000 lightyears away in an unknown and potentially dangerous area of space.

She finally opened her eyes, acknowledging the reality of her situation. _Time for some music. _"Computer, add a control panel and download the two most popular songs in the most common genres from the year 1950 to the present."

"Your request will take approximately five minutes to process," the computer informed her.

"Acknowledged." She sat down to wait. She had chosen to begin with songs from 1950 because that was the first year that music had made a turning point and began to sound remotely like some of the music of 2371. She knew that she could never listen to all the songs that the computer would bring up, but she wanted to have a wide variety to sample.

"Download complete."

Sarah walked over to the control panel and smiled to herself. Almost 10,000 songs had been downloaded. "Computer, begin playing songs at random."

For the next ten minutes, Sarah browsed through a plethora of songs. She didn't have to worry about encountering anything inappropriate, for her mother had installed a filter to prevent any such material from appearing in any programs she designed. Sometimes she found herself dancing along if the song she was listening to had an especially catchy beat. On occasion, she would play a song over again, usually singing along. She was rather pleased to find that her voice wasn't half bad. In fact, despite her earlier fears, her voice seemed to be quite good. _Maybe I should take up voice lessons as well, _she mused.

As for a new instrument, Sarah pulled up the songs she liked best and had the computer show her all the instruments used in the song. The common factor in the majority of her favorites was a guitar. Something about the sounds it made gave her a sense of calm. Nearly certain she'd made her selection, she was examining a holographic projection of a guitar when the ground beneath her shuddered forcefully and the meadow flickered. She lost her balance and tumbled to the ground. Scrambling to her feet, she called out, "Computer, has the ship been attacked?"

"Negative."

"Have we gone to a red alert?"

"Negative."

_Hmm…it could just be some turbulence. It's probably safe for me to stay, at least for now. _She casually returned to her program, downloading basic instructions for playing guitar. Skimming over them, she didn't think it looked too terribly difficult. _It definitely looks more fun than piano, _she thought with a grin. She had only been reading for perhaps a minute or two when the computer reported, "A red alert has been initiated."

Sarah looked up. "Why?"

"Unknown."

_Well that's unbelievably helpful, _she thought sarcastically. Suddenly, her holoprogram disappeared, leaving her sitting on the smooth grey floor and only the criss-crossed silver metal arms along the walls that contained the holo-emitters surrounding her. "Computer, now what?"

"All non-essential systems have been shut down."

"Why?" she asked cautiously, expecting another 'unknown'.

"All non-essential systems have been shut down to conserve power."

Without warning, the ship harshly jolted again. _**What**__ is going on out there?, _she wondered, pushing herself up from the floor. She hurried out of the large Holodeck doors, heading for the bridge. The overhead lights had been dimmed and red lights flashed along a strip of corridor above her head. Before she'd made it to the turbolift, however, the red alert suddenly ceased. Suppressing a sigh of frustration, she entered the lift anyway. "Bridge." _I hope someone will let me know what's going on._

On the bridge, Kathryn sighed in disappointment. Entering the nebula that they'd found hadn't increased their energy reserves—rather, it had depleted them. They had had to fight to get both in and out and now they had lost 11 of their already dangerously low power reserves. "I'm just going to have to give up coffee—that's all there is to it." She turned to her tactical officer. "I'll be in my ready room. Mr. Tuvok, you have the bridge."

She entered her ready room, set to tackle a huge pile of reports, but stopped short when she saw what was on her desk—a steaming mug of what appeared to be coffee. Cautiously approaching it, she slowly picked up the mug and swirled its contents around a little to rule out the possibility that Neelix was trying to get her to accept his 'coffee substitute'. The liquid behaved exactly as real coffee should. Heartened by this fact, she smelled the mug's contents and nearly collapsed with happiness when the strong scent of quality black coffee greeted her.

As guilty as it made her feel, Kathryn got out the tricorder she kept in her ready room and scanned the beverage for any substances that didn't belong in coffee. She didn't think anyone aboard would try to poison her, but she would much rather be safe than sorry. Luckily, the device picked up nothing out of the ordinary. With a sigh of relief, she sank down into her chair and wrapped her hands around the mug. The first sip was like a taste of heaven and she instantly felt much better than she had all morning. _Whoever did this deserves a promotion, _she thought blissfully.

At that moment, the chime to her ready room sounded. "Come," she called out. The doors parted and her daughter stepped over the threshold.

With a horribly guilty jolt, she realized she had completely forgotten about Sarah during the situation with the nebula. She stood up and hurried over to her daughter. "Sarah, I am so sorry…"

"It's ok mama. Tuvok let me know what happened this morning. It sounds like you had your hands full." The small girl's eyes lit on the mug of coffee. "You broke down and replicated some coffee?" she asked with a grin.

With a laugh, Kathryn shook her head. "No, actually. Some kind crewmember replicated it for their captain. There was no note so I don't know who to thank."

"Maybe they want to remain anonymous," Sarah suggested.

"Perhaps." Kathryn glanced at her personal computer. Seeing what time it was, she turned back to her daughter. "Well, I guess it's time for lunch." Her face gave away exactly what she thought about getting lunch from Neelix's kitchen.

"Oh, I've already eaten. I just wanted to check in with you before I went back to our quarters."

Kathryn looked at her daughter for a moment. Something about her seemed…not entirely right. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but something was definitely different.

Sarah's earnest little face looked up at her. "Is something wrong?"

She slightly shook her head. "No, no. It's just that…well, I'll probably be busy the rest of the day, what with all the problems this nebula caused…"

"Don't worry, mama," Sarah said, giving her a hug. "I'll be ok."

_That's what bothers me, _Kathryn thought. Aloud, she said, "You go have fun then. I'll see you at dinner, I hope." She indicated the stack of reports on her desk with a wry grin.

Sarah nodded in understanding and left the ready room. Kathryn watched her go. When the doors closed, she sank into her chair with a deep sigh. _What did I do, letting her come along? I can't always keep her with me, but I can't just leave her alone. _They had been passing through an especially rough part of space, so Sarah's duties as bridge assistant had been temporarily cancelled, as Kathryn hadn't wanted her on the bridge in constant harm's way. Unfortunately, that meant they had to spend a lot of time apart. She didn't want to burden someone with watching her daughter, but now it looked like she was going to have to. _Who on this ship would be willing to watch my daughter, to add more responsibility to their already busy schedule?_

Sarah lay on her back on her bed, her head, neck, and arms draped over the edge. Her duties as bridge assistant were on hold, she was taking a break from her schoolwork at her mother's insistence since she had covered an incredible amount of material in a short space of time, both Holodecks were occupied, and her head hurt from reading. Supper had come and gone, her mother sending her regrets—she was behind and would have to keep working. Luckily, she added, the mysterious coffee-giver had provided her with another cup of, as she called it, pure heaven. Sarah had assured her that she would be fine, and was, in fact, secretly relieved. Now she wouldn't have to invent any stories about already having had a meal. A quick trip to the hydroponics bay had taken the edge off her hunger, but she doubted her mother would approve. _She can't know what I'm doing. She won't like it. But I __**have **__to do it. It's the best for the crew if we're going to survive out here. Every little bit counts._

The lack of activity left her with an odd restless feeling, one that was unfamiliar and difficult to place, and somewhat confusing. It made her fidgety and slightly irritable. As more blood ran to her head, she finally figured it out: boredom. She was bored. _Odd, _she thought. _I've never been bored in my life. _At home, there had **always** been something for her to do. Now she was lacking in any sort of activity and wasn't sure what to do with herself. She sighed and rolled onto her stomach, pushing herself away from the edge of the bed in the process. She slowly sat up and stretched, then sighed loudly once more. Cupping her face in her hands, she looked around the bedroom very carefully, in case she had missed something.

Sarah had nearly given up and decided to call it a night when her eyes lit on a duffel bag nestled behind a potted plant next to her bookcase. She straightened up happily as she realized she wasn't totally out of things to do. _I haven't used the art set from Aunt Phoebe yet! _She hopped off the bed and freed the kit from the depths of the bag. She sat cross-legged on the floor and opened it for the first time. There were brushes, tubes of acrylic paint, oil pastels, chalk pastels, colored pencils, crayons, markers, drawing pencils, sketchpads, and, most essentially, erasers. Sarah ran a fond hand over everything inside the case. The kit was totally brand new, untouched since she had received it for her birthday so many weeks ago. Given the incredible distance from home, it seemed even longer.

Aunt Phoebe was the family artist, so her gift made total sense. _When we get back home, I should really have some art to show her, _Sarah rationalized. _Now I just need a subject, something to draw or paint…_ Looking at the many varieties of rich vibrant hues in the set of oil pastels, her mind fastened on the perfect scene to recreate on her sketchpad. _If I can just get permission…_

B'Elanna Torres was working late in the near-deserted engineering room, analyzing some of the sticky matter they had collected from the ship's hull after the encounter with the strange nebula. It was hard work and made very little sense—the material was unlike anything she had ever seen before, especially in a nebula. She was so absorbed in her work that she didn't hear someone enter Main Engineering.

"Lieutenant Torres?" a voice asked quietly from directly behind her.

B'Elanna jumped and spun to face the person. Sarah Janeway stood before her, looking uncertain and holding a flat wooden box tucked under one arm. "I'm sorry…" she began.

Calming down, B'Elanna held up a hand and responded, "It's all right. You just startled me. I didn't hear the doors open." Seeing that the ship's bridge assistant didn't have any PADDs with her, she asked, "What can I do for you?"

Sarah looked at carpet for a moment before she could make eye contact with the chief engineer. "I have an…odd request. I was wondering if perhaps I could sit somewhere out of the way and…draw the warp core." She opened her art case and showed her the sketchbook and pastels. "I'll be extremely quiet and I won't bother you," she promised. "I've run out of other things to do."

"Go ahead," B'Elanna replied, nodding her head. "There's no one here to get in the way of. As long as I can get this analysis done, it's not a problem."

"Thank you very much," the young girl said as she found herself a spot on the floor where she could brace her back against a support beam. She flipped open one of her new sketchpads to the first page, a smooth white sheet full of potential. She selected a soft grey pastel and pulled it across the page to create the basic framework of the warp core. After that was complete, she selected a group of varying shades of blue in an attempt to recreate the forever-changing bright patterns rising and falling within the core.

Meanwhile, B'Elanna put the sample into a centrifuge and started the spinning cycle. She checked on a few readouts as she waited, becoming so absorbed in her work that she forgot the presence of the captain's daughter. The centrifuge took a couple minutes to finish its work. When she finally stopped it, she had barely glanced at the readouts before her concentration was shattered by a moan from the other side of the room.

"Sarah?" she said in concern, standing up. She could see Sarah with her back against the beam. At first she seemed fine, but as B'Elanna watched, the pastel in her hand fell from her fingers, her head pitched forward into her uncompleted drawing, and she fell over sideways rather like a rag doll.

"Sarah!" She ran as quickly as she could to the girl's side and knelt on the floor next to her. Sarah was curled into a ball, whimpering and clutching at her stomach. Her face had gone deathly white. B'Elanna didn't need a tricorder to see that the child was in excruciating pain. She slapped her commbadge and yelled, "Torres to Sick Bay, activate EMH! Torres to Transporter Room One, two to beam directly to Sick Bay!"

In the ready room, Captain Janeway sat at her desk drinking her coffee gift and trying to finish the last reports so she could at least put her daughter to bed at a decent hour. The door chime sounded as she read the last line on the PADD she was holding. "Come," she called. Chakotay entered the room carrying a strange object that didn't immediately register with her mind.

"Repair crews have degaussed the hull, Captain," he reported.

"Good," came her reply. "Let's plan an 0700 departure—" She stopped herself as she realized he was holding something. "What's this?"

"My medicine bundle. I've never shown it to anyone before. After what you said this morning I thought it was important to let you see."

"Will it help me find my animal guide?"

"Eventually you'll have to assemble your own medicine bundle but this will allow me to assist you in your quest for a guide."

"Now?" she asked. Without letting Chakotay say anything, she answered herself and placed the PADD on the desk. "Now." She followed her first officer over to the table in front of the ready room's couch. He sat cross-legged on the floor and she followed suit as he began to open the medicine bundle.

One by one, he showed her the items, naming each one. "A blackbird's wing, a stone from the river, an akoonah."

"Akoonah?"

"My ancestors used psychoactive herbs to assist their vision quests. Now they're no longer necessary. Our scientists have found more modern ways to facilitate the search for animal guides." He gestured to the bronze device and instructed the captain, "Place your hand on it, and concentrate on the stone."

Kathryn did as he asked and he began the ritual. "A-koo-chee-moya, we are far from the sacred places of our grandfathers. We are far from the bones of our people. But perhaps there is one powerful being who will embrace this woman and give her the answers she seeks." He paused for a second and continued, "Allow your eyes to close. Breathe to fuel the light in your belly and let it expand until the light is everywhere. Prepare yourself to leave this room and this ship, and return to a place where you are the most content and peaceful you have ever been."

She opened her eyes and found herself in that place. She found herself kneeling on a beach of white sand. Clear, blue-green water stretched before her, uninterrupted all the way to the horizon where a rising sun gave the sky a light rose tint. _This the first place Sarah and I went on our trip, Paradise Beach in Hawaii. _Out loud, she said, in wonder, "I know this place! It's—"

Chakotay interrupted her gently. "You must not discuss with me what you see or it will offend your animal guide. As you continue to look around, you will become aware of other life that shares this place with you. He will be the first animal you see. That is the one you will speak to. Do you see an animal?"

Kathryn glanced about, looking for an animal. Movement she saw in the corner of her eye alerted her to the presence of a small brown cat. The cat tipped its head at her, as though it were trying to judge what she wanted. She stretched out an uncertain hand—she had always been a dog person. Luckily, the cat seemed to decide it liked her and gently rubbed its head against her hand. "Yes," she quietly responded to Chakotay.

"Speak to it," he replied in his calm way.

"What do I say?" she all but whispered, letting her hand glide over the cat's head and neck and across its back.

"You know what you want to ask," he said, just as quietly.

"Sick Bay to Captain Janeway," came the somewhat harsh voice of the EMH.

Kathryn sighed and opened her eyes. "I'm sorry," she apologized to the commander. "I should've asked the computer for no interruptions." He nodded in understanding as she replied, "Go ahead, doctor."

"Please come to Sick Bay at once, captain." She glanced over at her first officer to see if he knew something she didn't, but his face looked as confused as her own.

The EMH's voice was a bit gentler as he added, "It's your daughter."

Her blood ran cold. "What happened?" she wanted to know.

"It'll be easier if you just come down here."

"On my way," she managed to get out, even as she felt all the color drain from her face. She shook slightly, like a young tree in a breeze. _Not Sarah! Oh please, not Sarah!_

Chakotay gently helped her to her feet after he had re-wrapped all the items in his medicine bundle to prevent anyone seeing them. They made their way to Sick Bay as quickly as they could. Kathryn dashed inside ahead of Chakotay, desperate to know what was wrong with her daughter. She barely registered the fact that B'Elanna Torres was in the room as she hurried to the main biobed where the Doctor hovered over her daughter with a tricorder and a hypospray.

"What happened?" she repeated urgently, upon seeing her daughter's ghostly face and quivering limbs.

"I'm not entirely sure," the Doctor said in a rather gruff manner, frowning at the tricorder as if the information it failed to provide was a personal affront. "She was in engineering with Lieutenant Torres when she collapsed, clutching her stomach, and lost consciousness."

Kathryn whipped around to B'Elanna who confirmed the information. "She was perfectly fine, then out of nowhere…" The engineer trailed off.

She turned back to the EMH as he added, "The pain receptors in her internal organs are working overtime, but nothing's wrong with her." His frown increased. "It's almost as though they were remotely activated."

"Remotely activated? What do you mean?" the captain asked insistently.

"The scans I've taken of her indicate that it wasn't her own nervous system that initiated the receptors. The only explanation left to offer is that something external caused it."

"Is she going to be all right?" Kathryn took her daughter's small, cold hands in her own as the doctor pressed a hypospray against the little girl's neck with a hiss.

He sighed. "I've given her the strongest analgesic safe for a child of her size. She'll still experience some pain but it will be far less severe. Unfortunately, I can only speculate on how and if she'll recover. Nothing is wrong with her physically. Until I know what caused this, I won't be able to treat it."

Captain Janeway turned again to talk to B'Elanna. "Did anything unusual happen in engineering? Did you detect anything out of ordinary?"

"No," the chief engineer replied, answering both questions. "I was analyzing the sticky matter from the nebula. Everything was by the book."

She turned to face the doctor. "Could the matter have caused it?"

"I won't know until I see the results of the analysis." The Doctor was frowning again as he ran his tricorder over the child again. "Well, this certainly can't be helping her."

"What, what is it?"

"Your daughter hasn't eaten anything substantial in at least 48 hours. Why didn't you say something? That information would have been helpful in a diagnosis." He sounded slightly peeved.

"I didn't know," Kathryn said. "Sarah always told me she'd already eaten." She was somewhat shocked. _She's never lied to me. Why would she do that now?_

Everyone had turned to B'Elanna to ask about the matter's analysis when they were distracted by a noise from behind them. They looked over their shoulders to find Sarah sitting up, her gaze focused on them strongly. Her voice was weak but adamant. "The nebula…it's not a nebula!"

Her mother hurried to her side and attempted to calm her but she wanted no part of it. Gently pushing Kathryn's hands away as she tried to get her to lay back down, she repeated, "It's not a nebula—it's alive!" Everyone looked at her in confusion. "Go ahead, look at the sample. It'll tell you the same thing."

"Sarah, how do you know this?" Kathryn asked.

Her daughter paused before answering. "I can hear it," she said simply. "It's hurt. Badly. I can feel how much it hurts."

"You can hear it? Telepathically?" _How could she be hearing the mind of another being? She's only human!_

The Doctor scanned the little girl with the tricorder again. "Her brain activity is 54 above normal, indicating some kind of telepathic activity. I've never seen this in a human, though, so I can't tell you for sure. However, if this nebula is indeed alive and does in fact share a link with your daughter, it could explain her condition." He looked at the captain. "I'll have a look at that sample and let you know what I find. Meanwhile, she's free to go. There's nothing else I can do at this point."

B'Elanna and the Doctor took the sample into his office as Chakotay walked over to the Janeway women. "Is there anything I can do?" he asked quietly.

"No, but thank you," Kathryn answered.

He nodded and added to her daughter, "I hope you feel better."

"Thank you," came the soft reply.

Kathryn and Sarah watched him leave Sick Bay. When the doors had shut, mother turned to daughter. "Why have you been lying to me?" she wanted to know, slightly hurt. "Why haven't you been eating?"

Sarah couldn't meet her mother's eyes. "I _have _been eating, just not much—a carrot here and there from the hydroponics bay. I'm sorry I lied to you."

Her mother put her hand on her daughter's chin and gently tilted her head up. "Why?" she repeated.

"I'm a drain on resources," came the unwilling reply. "With power so dangerously low, every little bit that gets cut back is helpful." She paused for a second before admitting, "I also didn't want to use my replicator rations. I wanted to save them for you—you needed them more."

It took a bit before the captain realized what she was saying. "You replicated the coffee for me."

Sarah nodded. Kathryn shook her head and sighed, a slight smile playing across her lips. "Oh, Sarah, you're not a drain. And I am capable of going without coffee." At her daughter's skeptical look, she laughed. "What am I going to do with you?" She gently picked her up and carried her out of Sick Bay by way of an answer. "Feel up to eating something?"

"I guess so," Sarah said.

"Good. We're going to go to the Mess Hall and get a proper meal from a replicator."

Half an hour later, Sarah rested on the couch in her mother's ready room. A lot had happened. She had eaten an entire bowl of chicken noodle soup with crackers, her favorite comfort food and managed to push the lifeform's thoughts to the back of her mind since she was unable to reply and the Doctor couldn't do anything for her. The Doctor and B'Elanna had confirmed what she already knew about the nebula: it was not a nebula at all, but a creature. The crew had formulated a plan to repair the damage to the lifeform and they were currently at yellow alert in preparation for re-entering the creature. Her mother, despite the danger, was allowing her to tag along since she still wasn't one hundred percent better.

The soft cushions of the couch were cool against her cheek as she stretched out on her side. The Doctor was baffled by the telepathic abilities she seemed to have acquired and they were rather disconcerting to her. Unfortunately, she could receive messages, not send them. She had attempted to help the crew by letting the creature know they meant it no harm, but she couldn't seem to get through to it. All she could do was listen.

A single tear slipped down her cheek. _As if I weren't strange enough already, now I'm hearing everything this strange lifeform thinks, I'm feeling the pain it feels. Why can't I just be normal?_

The door chime, her mother's offhand, "Come in," and the sound of the doors opening made her look up. Neelix had entered the room, looking very much annoyed. She was hard at work at her desk and only really noticed the Talaxian after several seconds.

Neelix spoke first. "Captain, I understand that this nebula we've discovered is some kind of monster?"

Captain Janeway kept working as she answered him. "Not a monster, Neelix, but it is a lifeform."

"Excuse me if I sound crazy because someone may have been playing a joke on me, but you aren't planning to take us back into the belly of this beast, are you?"

"No joke," Kathryn said calmly, still focused on her computer.

"What?" Neelix's face was uncomprehending.

"We hurt it and we have to help it recover."

"I did not come on board this ship to become a veterinarian, Captain."

"And I thought you were a man of unlimited talent."

"I just reached my limit. So if you don't mind, Captain, I and Kes will wait on board my little vessel 'til you return."

Kathryn put down the PADD she was holding and gave him her full attention. Firmly, she said, "The entire crew is busy preparing for this mission. I'm not pulling them off their duties to prepare your ship for launch, and I'm not going to drop you off by the side of the road every time we hit a bump. When we've finished, if you want to leave, that's your business. But for the moment, find yourself a place with a good view because, just like Jonah and the whale, you're going in."

"Is that final?"

"It is. If you need another reason, somehow the creature has initiated a telepathic link with my daughter. Everything it feels, she feels. If we don't get it on the road to recovery, we could end up with two casualties." She sighed. "The Doctor gave her the strongest painkiller he could, but she's still in pain." The two of them looked over to the couch where Sarah lay, attempting to rest comfortably. Kathryn looked at Neelix again, back in her authoritative state. "Dismissed," she said decisively, then returned to her work. When she noticed he was still standing there, she added, "That's a Starfleet expression for 'get out'."

Neelix got out and the captain got back to work.

A few minutes later, the captain and her daughter made their way onto the bridge in preparation for reentering the nebula. As her mother stopped to speak with Tuvok, Sarah made her way over to Lieutenant Paris seated at the conn. "Excuse me, Tom," she said quietly.

"Hey Shadow," he replied. "What's up?"

"You probably know about my…connection to the nebula." When he nodded, she continued. "Please be as careful as you can. I really don't want to repeat my experience in engineering."

"Don't worry." Tom put his hands on her shoulders. "I will fly this ship as carefully as humanly possible. I promise."

"Thank you," she said with a small smile, and then left to sit beside her mother.

Tom watched her go, a strange feeling coming over him. _ Why didn't I notice it before? She looks just like… _He couldn't think of the name. _I know she's the spitting image of someone…but whom, besides her mother?_

It took only a few minutes to get within 14,000 kilometers of the breach. The image on the viewscreen made Sarah's insides twist. _That's what I was feeling earlier. Ouch… I hope this works. _But even as Tom tried to bring them into position, a sudden bombardment of energy discharges that looked very much like enormous purple and blue lightning bolts hit the ship, violently tossing it around. She was forcefully thrown from her seat on the ledge near the captain's chair and hit the ground with painful thud. As she tried to pick herself up, she saw that Tom had been tossed from his seat and her mother had fallen to the floor. She could feel a dull ache behind her ribs that she knew had nothing to do with her fall. Through the noisy confusion, she could hear people shouting at each other.

"Report!"

"We're being hit by some kind of multi-polar charges. They're not like anything we saw the first time."

"Shields at 87."

"Will they hold?"

"The polarity of these charges is rotating so quickly the shields cannot compensate."

"We've lost the rear driver coil assembly!"

"Inertial dampers are offline! I'm losing control. Hold on!"

Sarah felt her stomach drop as _Voyager _went into freefall. She found herself hopelessly stuck to the deck plating. It was a struggle to even push her head up off the carpet. There was more yelling going on, mainly her mother, B'Elanna, and Tom.

"Engineering, initiate emergency shut-down of all thrusters!"

"The only way we can shut down all thrusters is to vent the deuterium into space. We can't afford to lose all that fuel!"

"We have no choice. Do it!"

"Acknowledged! Cutting thrusters."

"Inertial dampers are still offline!"

"Reset IDF baseline at three-zero-zero and re-initialize!"

"Field processors coming back online." At long last, the ship steadied. "Inertial damping restored."

Sarah felt her mother helping her up and back to her seat. Through a haze of numbed pain, she could hear people talking, but this time couldn't make out anything really specific. She heard something about a circulatory system and not using engines. She heard her mother give Tom an order, then saw her sit in the chair beside her.

"How are you?" Kathryn asked.

Sarah shook her head.

"Here," her mother said, pressing a hypospray against her neck. "The Doctor said you might need another dose, so I've kept one with me."

Instantly, her pain was numbed further. With a sigh of relief, she rubbed her stomach.

"What's it thinking? Does it see us as a threat?" Kathryn asked quietly.

Reluctantly, Sarah allowed it to come to the forefront of her mind. She closed her eyes, concentrating. After a minute, she opened them and announced, "It's just…confused. And in pain. It's not trying to hurt us on purpose."

Captain Janeway nodded. Then, in a confused tone, she added, "I still don't know how you, a human child, ended up sharing a telepathic link with it. Even Kes can't hear it."

"Well, you always said I was special." Sarah smiled at her mother, who smiled back and gently kissed the top of her head and tousled her hair.

Suddenly, the turbolift doors opened and Kes and Neelix stepped out bearing trays of food. "Time for refreshment! Ailis paté, Felada onion crisps, stuffed cardaway leaves!" Neelix called out.

Standing up, her mother replied, "I appreciate the thought, Neelix, but this is hardly the time."

Neelix ignored the last part of her sentence and walked around the bridge with Kes, offering various snacks to the crewmembers. "As the morale officer on this ship, I insist that a break in the workload is both healthy and necessary." He presented his tray to Tuvok, who didn't take anything but stared fixedly ahead. "Go on, Vulcan. It might even help you loosen up...or not."

"May I ask when you became morale officer?" Tuvok asked.

"Oh, just a few minutes ago when I sensed crew morale might be especially low. Mine certainly was. We were in a freefall at the time."

"Cooking always helps Neelix to unwind," Kes added as she showed the contents of her tray to Harry Kim.

"Yes, and after we stabilized I certainly needed to unwind. So it seemed I either had a choice to either come up here and say 'I told you so', no, or to do something constructive to help out in my own humble manner," Neelix added as he offered the tray to Tom Paris. After Tom had selected something, Neelix came over and held his tray up to Captain Janeway. "Try the stuffed cardaway leaves—they're irresistible." He watched as she sampled one and nodded her agreement. Happily, he then came over to Sarah. "I heard you were still a little under the weather, so I made you something special." He held out a small pastry-looking item with what appeared to be a pink frosting inside.

"Neelix…" Sarah began to protest, fearing a rich desert.

He interrupted her gently, saying, "This is just the thing for you—a Lemarian nectar pastry. The crust is made from some of the most delicate grains in the quadrant. What looks like frosting is actually the nectar of a highly rare flower that grows in the dark on the moons of Lemaria. It's a very gentle food and shouldn't upset your stomach." He picked it up off the plate and held it out to her. "Just try one bite," he tempted her.

She reluctantly took it from him and nibbled off one end. Surprisingly, Neelix was right. It was a very delicately flavored and textured food. She smiled up at him. "It's delicious. Thank you."

"You're quite welcome. I must say it's a relief to see you eat."

She decided not to mention the soup and crackers.

Moving back to the captain, he rubbed his hands together and said, "Now, as your new morale officer, I thought it might be fun for us all to sing a few songs together."

Her mouth full, Kathryn answered, "Don't push it, Neelix."

"Captain," Tom said, drawing her attention to the viewscreen. They were back at the wound.

"Well done, Mr. Paris. Miss Torres, prepare your nucleonic beam."

"We're ready down here, Captain," came the answer.

"Let's give the wound two doses to start. Five bursts at two-second intervals. Now."

_Voyager _projected the beam and everyone waited.

"Analysis?" the captain asked.

"Scanners are showing the regeneration rate up only 0.4," B'Elanna replied. "I don't know what we can hope to accomplish if this is the best we can do. The breach may simply be too large to seal."

Sarah paled at that. _Will I never be free of this?_

Suddenly, the Doctor's voice came over the comm channel. "This is the Doctor speaking. Please activate your monitor to the Emergency Medical Holographic channel. I believe I have a suggestion that may help."

The main viewer changed from a view of the creature's wound to an image of the Doctor at his desk in Sick Bay. "Since no one had the courtesy to turn me off after my last consultation," he said, sounding a little irked, "I've had the opportunity to observe your progress, or lack of same. I believe a slight alteration of your treatment plan is necessary. As inspiration, I've drawn on an ancient medical technique known as a suture."

"Suture?" Kathryn asked.

"Before the advent of laser technology, surgical fiber was used to stitch together a wound to allow it to heal naturally," he explained.

"How does that help us?" B'Elanna asked from engineering.

"Your ship's energy systems are compatible with this lifeform's omicron particles, are they not?" the EMH inquired.

"That's right," the chief engineer replied.

"Then it is very likely this vessel could serve the lifeform's needs in much the same manner as a suture. By allowing the ship to serve as an energy conduit across the wound, the lifeform should be able to regenerate itself more rapidly."

"And how are we supposed to get the ship into the wound without getting the stuffing beat out of us again?" Lieutenant Paris asked skeptically.

Brusquely, the Doctor answered, "That's your problem, not mine. Doctor out," and ended contact.

"That's sort of like asking a hurt dog not to bite you while you tend to its wounds," Tom said, still skeptical.

Sarah could see that her mother was thoughtful. "You like dogs, Mr. Paris?"

Confused, he answered, "Yes, ma'am. I always had a dog."

With a pang of loss, Sarah thought of Molly, their Irish Setter back home on Earth.

"I like dogs too," her mother continued. "When I had to clean out a cut on my dog's leg, I needed to create a little diversion to take her mind off it." She turned to the ops officer. "Mr. Kim, prepare a class-4 microprobe."

"Aye, captain," he responded as she stood up and went over to the conn to speak with the ship's pilot.

"Lieutenant, if I gave you a short burst from our thrusters would it be enough to maneuver into the breach in 10 seconds?"

"I'd feel better if I had 20."

"Once we launch that probe as a diversion, you might have 10, maybe even less than that."

He changed his mind very quickly. "10 sounds good."

The captain nodded her approval. "Mr. Kim. Status?"

"Microprobe loaded and ready."

"Set co-ordinates for launch at 160 mark 70. Cut power after 500 meters. I don't want to hurt this lifeform again." Her unspoken _'I don't want to hurt my daughter, either,'_ was heard loud and clear by everyone. "Engineering, I'll need a one second from our aft thrusters on my order," she continued.

"Standing by."

"Launch microprobe," she ordered.

The bridge crew watched as the probe was battered by electrical discharges. "Thrusters!" Captain Janeway ordered.

"Firing."

Tom skillfully worked the helm and maneuvered them into the breach. "Reading multi-polar charges. High frequency," Harry called out.

Tuvok reported, "Shields at 75 and holding."

"Maintain position," Kathryn said firmly. "Engineering, direct two nucleonic beams fore and aft parallel to the central access of the ship."

"Acknowledged. Beams engaged." Tense seconds passed before the news they had been waiting for came back. "Captain, I'm showing a rapid growth pattern along the wound!"

Sarah would have cheered if she hadn't been so numb.

"Regenerative matter approaching from both directions at just under 500 kilometers per hour," Tuvok warned.

"Hold position," Kathryn ordered.

"Captain, the shields are only designed to withstand…"

"I'm aware of that, Mr. Tuvok. Hold position!"

"Regenerative matter approaching. Range, 30 kilometers, fore and aft," he reported.

"Engineering, ready full thrusters. Mr. Paris?"

"Just tell me when," Tom assured the captain.

"Regenerative matter, 20 kilometers, 15, 10…"

"Disengage nucleonic beam. Fire thrusters!" she ordered.

"Thrusters engaged," B'Elanna reported.

"Now, Mr. Paris!"

_Voyager _hurtled through the rapidly closing breach.

"40,000 kilometers to the perimeter...30,000," Tom informed them.

"The lifeform's regeneration rate is up 40, Captain. Looks like it's well on the way towards closing that wound," Chakotay said, smiling.

The only proof Kathryn really needed was a glance at her daughter. Her color was coming back, she was sitting up with ease, and, most importantly, she was smiling. "Sarah?" she asked.

Her daughter turned to her with a broad grin. "I heard something akin to 'thank you' and then it was gone. There's no voice now."

"We've cleared the central mass," Tom said, and everyone let out a breath they had been subconsciously holding. The mission had been successful and they were safe.

Later on, Kathryn made another entry in her log. "Captain's log, supplemental. We set out to augment our energy reserves and wound up depleting them by over 20. As a result, we've set a new course for a planet 14 light years away that Neelix says might have compatible energy sources to offer us. It is out of our way but circumstances offer few alternatives. So much for raising spirits. On the other hand, the lifeform is no longer 'speaking' with my daughter. The Doctor ran a thorough cerebral scan on her and couldn't find any evidence of telepathic abilities. It's one of the strangest things any of us has ever seen, but Sarah merely seems glad to have her mind back all to herself. On a side note, I've asked Crewman Evans to meet with me about a favor."

Aspen Evans brushed her wavy, shoulder-length brown hair off her shoulders, brushed imaginary lint from her red uniform top, and nervously entered the captain's ready room. She had never even met with the captain before. _What did I do? I've never been late for duty. I hand in everything on time…_

Captain Janeway's first thought upon seeing Crewman Evans was that she looked much younger than 20. The second was that she was extremely anxious and tried to cover it up my coming to attention, taut as could be. "At ease, crewman," she said in a friendly way. "Have a seat." Looking very confused, she did as she was asked. "I understand you've met my daughter."

Uncertain where this could be going, she said guardedly, "Yes, captain."

"Your file says that you have six siblings."

"Yes, captain. Two older, four younger."

"Do you like children, Miss Evans?"

Surprised, she repeated, "Yes, captain."

The captain paused for a moment. "Miss Evans, I would like to know if you would be willing to watch my daughter when I can't. It wouldn't be all the time. In fact, the times would be sporadic and varied. I would always arrange someone to cover your regular duties, of course. I would need you, say, if I had to work late and I needed someone to put her to bed. She's an extraordinary child, but I hate to leave her alone for any amount of time."

Aspen realized first that she wasn't in trouble, and then comprehended what exactly the captain was saying. "Of course I can, captain. I'd be glad to do it," she said, surprised at the request. _I have a niece Sarah's age. It would be wonderful to be around a child again_, she thought. Out loud, she said quietly, "I also wanted to personally thank you for your daughter's…assistance the other day. I don't know why I fell apart in the hydroponics bay, but I'm glad she was there."

"Don't worry about it, crewman. We all feel badly about our situation." Realizing what time it was, she stood up. "Thank you, Miss Evans. I really appreciate your help. I'll let you know when I need you." She smiled and shook Aspen's hand.

Aspen smiled back, every trace of nervousness gone. "You're welcome. Good night, captain."

After Crewman Evans had left, Kathryn turned off her computer and went to the bridge to get Sarah before heading back to their quarters. She planned to put Sarah to bed and try talking to her animal guide before turning in herself. "Ready to go?" she asked her daughter. Sarah, who had been talking to a member of the night shift, nodded and happily took her mother's hand. They entered the turbolift together and found Harry Kim waiting inside.

"Turning in for the night, Captain, Sarah?" he asked.

"I am," Sarah said.

"I'm actually going to talk to an animal, then turn in. Something Commander Chakotay taught me; it's supposed to be quite therapeutic. You might want to ask him about it," Kathryn responded.

"I will," Harry said with a smile.

The turbolift reached Harry's destination, and he stepped out. However, he seemed to make a difficult decision and turned back around to face them. "Captain," he said hesitantly.

"What is it, Ensign?" Kathryn asked.

"Well, I don't mean to be out of place, but if you'd care to join us you'd be welcome."

"Join you where?" she questioned.

As Harry, Kathryn, and Sarah entered Chez Sandrine on the Holodeck, the off duty crewmembers there started in surprise and began to come to attention when they caught sight of the captain. "As you were," the captain called. Looking around, she said, "Well, this is remarkable. Mr. Kim tells me this is your doing, Mr. Paris."

Somewhat embarrassed, Tom replied, "Er, yeah. It's just a little diversion." Spying Sarah, he cleared his throat and added, "I'm, uh…I'm uh…just going to go adjust some of the, uh…program parameters." He pulled himself away from an attractive human female and hurried off.

Kathryn laughed and said, "Thank you, Tom." Seeing the green felt covered table, she brightened. "Is this pool or billiards?"

"Er, pool," Tom called over his shoulder.

"Right. Pool's the one with the pockets. Would you mind if I gave it a try?"

"Uh, sure," he said upon his return.

"Commander Chakotay, your stick?" Kathryn asked.

Sarah smothered a grin. She knew what was about to happen.

"It's called a cue, Captain," Chakotay said patiently as he handed it to her.

"Cue. All right. So what do we do? Shall I go first?" When they nodded, she broke the triangle of pool balls and watched as four balls went straight into the pockets. "Solids," she said confidently.

Everyone in the room, with the exception of Sarah, stared in amazement. Sarah giggled happily at their expressions.

Kathryn grinned at her daughter, then turned her head towards Tom and away from the pool table. "Eight ball in the side pocket," she said with assurance. Without looking, she hit the white pool ball into the black eight ball. The eight ball went smoothly into the side pocket, just as she had predicted, even though she never so much as glanced at the pool table. Everyone began to clap and shake his or her head in wonder and admiration.

Leaning up against the table, Sarah smiled in content and let her hands glide over the polished wood surface. _This is great. I feel almost…normal, _she thought to herself as she continued to watch her mother display her expertise at pool.

Author's Note: Well, I hope you enjoyed it! In the next chapter (Eye Of The Needle), I'm going to have the scene with Sarah and Kes that Starbuck223(thanks for your awesome pm!) requested—look for it, it should be pretty cool. Thanks again for reading and reviewing, everyone!!


	11. Eye Of The Needle

_Disclaimer: All characters, vessels, science, and the original plot belong to Paramount with the exception of Sarah Janeway, the new parts of the plot, and anything else that I made up._

Author's Note: Yet again, I am sincerely sorry. I had pretty much no free time at all this summer. Also, I wasn't very motivated to update—there were no new reviews and someone left a really nasty, hateful review on another story of mine. As of late, my family life has been…difficult, to say the least. I'd be totally depressed if it weren't for Mr. G, one of the most amazing teachers ever to grace the planet. If he ever reads this, thank you.

On to other matters…

I'm sorry if this episode is a little…overly emotional/sappy. They say life imitates art—it goes the other way, too. Maybe it's a good thing this chapter has more emotion. I'll have to see what you guys think.

Also, is there anything specific you want me to do a chapter about? Like, maybe Sarah's first birthday or a play date with her friends or a typical day when she lived on Earth at her grandmother's or something? Let me know.

Thank you for sticking with me, everyone.

_Anomaly_

'_Eye Of The Needle'_

"Sarah Janeway's Personal Log, Stardate 48579.4. First, I have to say that I'm very relieved. For an entire week now, I've been free of strange voices in my head, premonitions of doom, or any other weird things that shouldn't be happening to me.

As part of my conservation of Holodeck time, mama and I have set up a ballet bar in the living room area of our quarters so that I can take my ballet lessons here instead of on the Holodeck. The bar, mirrors, and mats were created from spare parts B'Elanna helped us find in the Cargo Bay. Mama taught me the five basic ballet positions, which I've been practicing. Between her lessons and what I can learn from the PADDs we downloaded, I should be able to do just as well as I would have if I was taking ballet on the Holodeck.

Harry Kim called mama to the bridge very early this morning. I was barely awake at the time so I don't know why. I guess I'll find out when I go on duty. I love saying that. I'm very happy to be the Bridge Assistant—I feel useful and it's fun. However, my shift doesn't start for another two hours so I'm planning on having breakfast in the Mess Hall and then going to Kes' quarters. I need to talk to someone, and she's the only person on this ship that might understand my…unique situation. Computer, end recording."

Sarah Janeway put away the PADD she had been recording her log on and dressed herself as quickly as she could. She grabbed her hairbrush worked the knots out of her hair while pulling on her boots. Once her hair was mainly tangle free, she braided it as neatly as her small fingers would let her. Taking a last look in the mirror, she left their quarters and headed to the Mess Hall.

Neelix was happily cooking away in his galley when she got there. He hummed to himself as he tossed a dish in a frying pan and flipped another piece of food on a griddle. When he spied her standing patiently at the entrance to the cooking area, he exclaimed happily, "Sarah! How are you this morning?"

"Just fine, Neelix. How are you?"

"Wonderful!" he said enthusiastically, stirring a large pot of something.

Eyeing the variety of strange foods around the kitchen, Sarah asked, "May I have a couple pieces of toast?"

"Again with the toast? No, no, I have something even better for you!"

_Oh boy. _"It's ok, Neelix, really—"

"No, no. I've been doing some research on children's foods and I think I've come up with something you're going to love!" He shooed her over to a table, then brought out a bowl of brightly colored cereal rings.

Sarah surveyed them dubiously. "What…is this, exactly?"

"According to the cultural database, they're called 'Fruit Loops'. Of course, on Earth they would be made of Terran grains and flavored with such ordinary fruits as strawberries and lemons. I had to get creative to make them without using the replicator. I used Manarellian flour and flavored them with several different fruits spanning four systems!" He out a spoon in the bowl and continued, "They're traditionally served submerged in milk. Now, the milk I had to replicate, but everything else is made from scratch. Go ahead—try it!"

His eager, happy face showed her that he wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. Throwing caution to the winds, Sarah scooped a spoonful of the cereal and milk into her mouth. She chewed slowly, giving it a chance. The texture wasn't bad and the flavor was recognizably fruity, though a little strange. It was certainly edible and, on the whole, was one of his greater successes. She nodded at Neelix. "It's good!" she said with a smile.

"I knew you'd like it!" he said, and patted her on the shoulder affectionately before he hurried off to prepare breakfast for the rest of the crew.

Sarah finished all of her breakfast in record time and returned her dishes to the kitchen. She thanked Neelix before she left the Mess Hall to enter a turbolift. "Deck 8," she said. The turbolift beeped and appropriately descended six levels. The doors opened and she left the lift, walking slowly. She carefully scanned the names next to the doors of crew quarters until she found Kes' quarters. Hesitantly, she pressed the door chime. As she stood waiting for an answer, she twisted her hands together somewhat nervously. She wasn't sure exactly what she was going to say.

The doors opening caught her completely by surprise and she jumped a little. Kes stood in the doorway, a somewhat puzzled expression on her face as she smiled down at Sarah. "Sarah! What a pleasant surprise! What brings you here this early?"

In a small, tentative voice, Sarah asked, "I was just wondering if I could talk to you for a little while."

"Certainly. Come right in."

Timidly, she stepped across the threshold and saw Kes' quarters for the first time. They were much smaller than those that she shared with her mother, but comfortable and neat. A vase of exotic flowers sat on a low glass table in front of a small couch. A bed stood parallel to the couch, its head pushed against the wall to her left. The entire room was bright and inviting, but Sarah still couldn't shake off a nagging sense of unease.

Startled, she realized Kes had spoken to her. "What?"

With her ever-present calm smile, she repeated, "Why don't you sit?"

"Oh. Ok." Sarah made her way over to where Kes sat on the couch and perched beside the Ocampan woman. She found herself twisting her hands together again and mentally scolded herself. _Quit being so nervous! It's no big deal! You're acting like a baby. You __**can **__talk about this. _

She shook her head and, before she could think about it again, started talking. "Kes, you have some…irregular abilities, don't you?"

"Yes I do."

Something in her voice was soothing, so Sarah pressed ahead. "What kind of abilities?"

"I can hear thoughts. Sometimes I get a sense of emotions. Occasionally I know things that should be impossible to know."

"Does it…surprise you when it happens?"

Kes pondered that for several seconds. "No, I suppose not. Not anymore."

"Why is that?"

"Well, my ancestors had some amazing abilities that they lost because they stopped using them. I suppose I kind of expect these things to happen now."

Sarah looked down at her hands folded in her lap. Gently, Kes inquired, "Why do you ask?"

She sighed and responded, "You've probably heard about the strange things that keep happening to me."

Kes nodded. "The incident with the lifeform we thought was a nebula."

"That's only the tip of the iceberg. When the Vidiians attacked Neelix, I knew before almost anyone. We both ran to the bridge at the same time a few weeks ago when we somehow felt something was wrong with that planet. I had premonitions and strange warnings of danger even when we were first thrown into the Delta Quadrant." In almost a pleading tone, she added, "I'm only human! These things shouldn't be happening to me! Why can't I just be like every other human girl my age?"

"Were there ever any other humans with capabilities like yours?"

"Never," came the depressed answer.

Kes slipped a comforting arm around the young girl's shoulders. "Oh, Sarah."

She dropped her head onto her hands. "I'm so confused!"

"I'm sure your abilities can be…overwhelming. Mine are, at times. But there's nothing wrong with you. I'm sure there's a reason you're able to do these things, a reason you're so smart, a reason you're wise beyond your years."

"What reason could there possibly be? And even if there is a reason, I know I startle some of the crewmembers because I'm only four and yet I speak perfectly and act much older than I am. I don't mean to, and I feel badly about, but there's nothing I can do. It's…"

"Not fair?" Kes asked with a smile.

Sarah sighed and raised her head to give the Ocampan woman a weak grin. "Life isn't fair and never will be. I've learned that from dozens of books."

Kes nodded in agreement, then looked squarely at Sarah. "I know your abilities confuse you but remember: there's nothing wrong with you. All humans can't be alike." Holding the small girl's hands in her own, she added in her soft, comforting tone, "You have a gift. It has never hurt anything, only helped. Don't try to analyze it—just enjoy it."

Slowly, Sarah pieced together what she was being told. "I suppose you're right, Kes. It just gets to be…lonely, sometimes. I mean, it's not that my mother isn't wonderfully supportive and helpful, but she can never really know what it's like."

"Of course not," Kes agreed.

"At least there's someone onboard who's having a similar experience." Sarah smiled up at her.

"My door is always open," she replied. "We can talk more later, if you like. Right now, I have to help the Doctor in Sick Bay."

"Not a problem. I have to head for the bridge myself." Sarah stood up and started for the door. "I really appreciate your help, Kes."

"You're quite welcome, Sarah."

With a final smile and nod of appreciation, Sarah left Kes' quarters and started for the bridge.

When she stepped off the turbolift, she felt a buzz of excitement emanating from all areas of the bridge. She glanced around, trying to ascertain just what had happened. Harry looked rather pleased with himself and the bridge crew walked with a little more spring in their step, but that was all she could tell. Hurrying down the steps, she found her mother and Commander Chakotay conversing happily.

"What's going on?" Sarah asked curiously.

Kathryn Janeway looked up to see her daughter standing before her, looking puzzled. "Ensign Kim found a wormhole," she replied with a grin.

Sarah's face lit up like a sunrise. "A wormhole?"

Kathryn nodded. Exuberant, Sarah threw her arms around her mother's neck and hugged her tightly. "So, we might be going home?"

"Possibly, but don't get too excited."

Chakotay added, "We're still heading to the wormhole's location. We were too far away to do a detailed analysis."

"Correction," came Tom's voice from the helm console. "Captain, we've reached the co-ordinates of the wormhole."

"On screen," she ordered. A black starfield appeared on the display.

Sarah voiced everyone's thoughts. "Where's the wormhole?"

"Are we in visual range?"

"Affirmative, Captain, and the anomaly is still registering on subspace bands," Harry replied.

"Sensors also indicate it's there," Tom added.

"Magnify," Captain Janeway ordered. Still, nothing but stars appeared on the main viewer. "Increase to highest magnification."

At last, they saw it. Sarah's heart sank a little.

"If that's a wormhole, it must be the smallest one on record," Chakotay said, glancing at the captain.

"Can you analyze it, Mr. Kim?"

"Aye, Captain. It's virtually microscopic. The aperture's only about 30 centimeters in diameter."

"I guess it's a little too small for us to fly through," Tom quipped.

Sarah gave him a wry grin. "Just a little," she agreed.

"However," Tuvok spoke up from his station. "It might be large enough to act as a conduit for a message."

"That's right. It could carry a compressed data transmission to Federation space in minutes." Harry was getting excited again.

"We still have to find out if it goes anywhere near the Alpha Quadrant," Kathryn reminded him. "Can you trace its subspace bearing?"

"I can't get any directional readings at all. The aperture is too small."

"I recommend we launch a microprobe into the wormhole," Tuvok suggested.

Sarah listened as her mother gave the order to launch the probe and waited impatiently until Harry reported that they were receiving telemetry. A tunnel of swirling green energy appeared on screen. "That doesn't look like any wormhole I've ever seen," she said.

"Microscopic gravitational eddies. Extremely constricted spatial dimensions. Pathway's barely wider than the probe itself," Harry was saying.

"I think what we're seeing is a wormhole in an advanced state of decay," her mother explained. "It must be ancient, probably been collapsing for centuries."

"Does that mean we can't send a message through it?" Tom asked.

"No, I can do it," Harry affirmed. "Maybe it'll take longer to get through but the wormhole's still stable enough to carry a transmission."

"Any idea yet where that message will end up, ensign?" Chakotay looked back at Harry as he waited for an answer.

"I'll try extrapolating the verteron exit vector." After half a minute: "No, I can't get it. There's a strange phase variance in the radiation stream. We'll have to wait until the probe exits."

"I don't think it will," Sarah spoke up. She was staring at the viewscreen. "I hate to say it, but it looks like it's stuck."

"Stuck?" asked her mother and Chakotay.

"I'm afraid she's right, captain," Harry said, checking readouts on his control panel. "It's mired in a gravitational eddy and because the wormhole's in a state of collapse those eddies are incredibly dense. That probe will never break free, captain, and we'll have no way of knowing where the wormhole ends."

Captain Janeway wasn't willing to admit failure so quickly. "Let's give it a minute. Maybe it'll work itself free."

A tense silence fell over the bridge, punctuated only by small beeps and chirps from the ship's equipment as they waited on the probe. Sarah hardly dared to move, eyes focused on the screen behind the helm console.

Suddenly, Harry urgently called, "Captain!"

Kathryn Janeway hurriedly faced her ops officer. "What is it, ensign?"

"Our probe, it's just been scanned—there's somebody on the other side of the wormhole!"

Sarah felt her heart soar.

A few minutes later, Sarah sat on the ready room couch, reading a PADD about 9th century Europe for her lessons while a briefing took place. She did her best to concentrate, but her thoughts inevitably kept drifting back to the wormhole and the possibility of finally letting someone know what had happened to _Voyager _and her crew. Thoughts buzzed through her head in a frenzy of excitement and apprehension. _Will someone finally know where we are and what happened to us? Does it lead to the Alpha Quadrant or somewhere else entirely? Will we be able to get a message through before the probe is crushed? Who is it out there that scanned the probe?_

Finally, in order to distract herself, she called up a selection of music to sing along to—something that would require her near-full attention. There was a computerized beep, and then the sounds of a piano. Softly, she started singing. "_Joyful, joyful, we adore thee…_"

For about twenty minutes, she sang along to several songs, lost in her own world. She actually jumped when her mother entered the room and abruptly stopped singing.

Kathryn paused just inside the doors. Hearing the music, she remarked with a smile, "Beethoven."

Feeling slightly foolish, Sarah ordered, "Computer, stop music." She wondered how much she'd heard. Then she wondered why she was hiding this new interest from her own mother.

"Researching for your piano lessons?"

"Yeah." _Something like that. _Changing the subject, she asked, "How did it go?" The last she'd heard, Harry had been working on analyzing the scans of the probe.

A broad grin came over her mother's face. "Someone received the signal we sent out and sent one back. The returning signal originated in the Alpha Quadrant. Ensign Kim is investigating the possibility of establishing a voice link with whoever is at the other end."

With a gasp of joy, Sarah ran to hug her mother. It didn't matter that there was no certainty that they would get in touch with Starfleet and their families; the possibility was there. That was all that mattered.

Abruptly, the door chime sounded.

Kathryn seated herself behind her desk as Sarah returned to her history studies and called, "Come in."

The doors parted to reveal Kes.

"Kes, this is a surprise," the captain said with a smile.

"Am I interrupting?"

"Not at all. I was just talking to Sarah and about to have a cup of soup. Would you like anything?"

"Er, spinach juice with a touch of pear, please. Tom Paris introduced me to it. It's very nutritious."

Kathryn laughed while Sarah made a face. "I'm sure it is. Sarah, do you want something?"

"Just a glass of orange juice, please."

Her mother shook her head as she made her way to the replicator. "You eat like a bird even when you're not trying to save rations. Computer, one spinach juice with a touch of pear, one cup of vegetable bouillon, and one orange juice."

"Actually," Sarah countered as her mother collected the items from the replicator and handed them out, "Birds eat a lot compared to their body weight. I eat more like a…horse, I guess. They eat small amounts of food compared to their body size. "

Kathryn and Kes chuckled appreciatively and sipped at their respective beverages. "What can I do for you?" the captain asked.

A little uncertainly, Kes began, "If there were a member of the crew whose needs weren't being met, would you want to know about it?"

"Of course. Kes, do you feel that your needs are being ignored?"

"Of course not. We're very happy here. I'm referring to the Doctor."

The captain paused. "The Doctor."

"I don't understand why people treat him the way they do."

Sarah put down the PADD she had been pretending to read.

"How do people treat him?" Kathryn asked.

"As though he doesn't exist," Kes replied, becoming somewhat indignant. "They talk about him while he's standing right there. They ignore him, they insult him."

"Well, as a matter of fact, I've been hearing the other side of the coin. Many of the crewmembers have complained that the Doctor is brusque, even rude, that he lacks any bedside manner. We've been talking about reprogramming him."

"You can't do that!" Sarah burst out. "It's not fair!"

Her mother shook her head. "Sarah, he's only a hologram."

"He's your medical officer. He's alive," Kes added pointedly.

"He's not alive."

"He might as well be! He's aware of himself, he communicates, and he can learn. He even _apologized_ for being rude to me." Insistently, Sarah pressed on. "He wasn't programmed for our unique situation. It's not his fault he ended up in such a difficult position."

"Just because he's a hologram, he doesn't have to be treated with respect or any consideration at all?" Kes added.

Captain Janeway looked from her daughter's small, earnest face to Kes' calm, serious one. She realized that they had a point—and that she was outnumbered. "Very well," she said. "I'll look into it."

Kes and Sarah smiled. "Thank you captain," Kes said as she got up to leave. Sarah nodded to indicate her appreciation as well.

Ensign Kim and Lieutenant Torres were working diligently to establish a voice with whoever was at the other end of the wormhole when Captain Janeway and Sarah returned to the bridge. "Progress report, Ensign?" the captain asked as she approached the Engineering II workstation.

"Think we're ready to give it a try but we're pushing through some pretty heavy gravitational interference. I can't guarantee the clarity of the transmission."

"Let's see what happens." There was a chirp as a channel was opened. "This is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation starship Voyager. Do you read?"

Some sort of signal could be heard, but it was too distorted to make out anything coherent. "Narrow the band pass a little more. Try again, captain," Ensign Kim said.

"This is Janeway. Please repeat your last transmission."

This time something was barely coherent. "…cargo vessel…location…"

"Cargo vessel, we're still trying to clear up your last transmission. Please repeat one more time."

Finally, the transmission came through clearly and in one piece, their first connection to the Alpha Quadrant in weeks: "I am the captain of the cargo vessel _Talvath_, location Alpha Quadrant, Sector 1385. What is your location?"

Sarah tried to stay calm as she tried to place the name of the ship. _Not Starfleet, not Klingon…_

With a small sigh of relief, Captain Janeway replied, "We're in the Delta Quadrant, but since this Quadrant hasn't been charted I can't specify our exact location."

"Please confirm. You said Delta Quadrant?"

"Correct."

"In a Federation starship?"

"Yes. We were on a mission and we got pulled into this Quadrant."

"Pulled in. How?"

""It's a complicated story. Please, if you would just try deconstructing the phase shift of our hailing frequency you could verify," Kathryn said, trying to keep any desperation out of her voice.

The _Talvath_ captain was not easily swayed. "You are undoubtedly still in the Alpha Quadrant. What are your coordinates?"

"I assure you I am telling you the truth. We are in the Delta Quadrant, 70,000 light-years from you."

Angry, the other captain replied, "This is preposterous. You are obviously lying. I am terminating communication."

Panicking, Sarah screamed out, "No, don't!"

"No, no, wait!" Kathryn yelled at the same moment. "Kim, hail them again."

"No response, Captain." Harry's expression was sober.

Sarah let her shoulders slump, disappointment dragging her down. _We were __**this **__close…_

Chakotay watched the captain's daughter droop unhappily, disappointment evident in her posture. Walking away from the helm console, he stood beside her and gently placed his hands on her shoulders, trying to give her some measure of comfort. "Why would he have broken off transmission?" he asked.

"Perhaps I can offer an explanation," Tuvok said monitoring the tactical board. "The comm link signature of his transmission indicates the message originated from a Romulan ship. Further, there are no known shipping lanes in the sector he identified. Given the precise calibration of his signal I would suggest that he is on board a science vessel."

Sarah furrowed her brow in puzzlement, glad for Chakotay's reassurance. "Why would he pretend to be a cargo captain?"

"If he's engaged in some kind of secret research, he certainly wouldn't want us to know," the first officer replied.

"Precisely. And when we claimed to be transmitting from the Delta Quadrant, an impossibility so far as he knows, he may have feared we were Federation spies."

B'Elanna's voice was bitter. "Just our luck. We raise one ship from the Alpha Quadrant and it has to be Romulan."

"That Romulan still has the ability to get a message to Starfleet," Captain Janeway said resolutely as she headed for the turbolift. Mr. Kim, hail the _Talvath_ repeatedly. Call me the minute you reestablish contact. Commander, you have the Bridge. Sarah, I'll see you in an hour for lunch. Help with what you can."

"Aye, captain," came the reply from both her first officer and her daughter.

Four decks below, Kathryn exited the turbolift and entered Sick Bay. Finding it empty, she called out, "Computer, initiate Emergency Medical Holographic program."

The Doctor materialized behind her. "Please state the nature of the medical emergency."

"There is no emergency, Doctor."

"Oh. That's good. I was right in the middle of preparing a culture to test Lieutenant Hargrove for Arethian flu when Ensign Kyoto deactivated me." He sounded rather irate.

_Sarah and Kes are right, _she admitted reluctantly. _He's giving as good as he gets._

"I'm sure she didn't realize you were busy," she said, trying to smooth things over.

The Doctor wasn't buying it. "What is it you want, captain?"

"Actually, I thought we might just talk for a moment."

As he began working, he asked, "About what?"

"Doctor, you were originally programmed to serve in a limited fashion during an emergency. Now you're being asked to do much more."

"That's certainly true. I'm providing full-time medical service for the ship's crew, functioning as both doctor and nurse, and now as an instructor as well."

"You don't have the luxury of thinking of yourself as an emergency medical program any more. You've become a full-fledged member of the crew."

"I see. Are you suggesting that I be reprogrammed?"

She felt slightly guilty, remembering that morning's conversation. "No. I'm asking if there's anything I can do to help you."

"Help me?" The way he said it, it sounded as though it were a foreign concept.

"If there's anything you need or want, I'd like to see that you get it."

Crossly, the Doctor replied, "What I'd like is to be turned off when people leave. I spend hours here with absolutely nothing to do. When someone does remember to deactivate me, they do so without asking if it's convenient. It's extremely irritating."

"What if I gave you control over your deactivation sequence?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"I'm sure we can make it possible for you to turn yourself off, or to prevent being turned off."

He seemed a little overwhelmed. In a tone that was considerably less than cross, he said, "I, I might like that…"

"I'll have someone look into it. Anything else?" She couldn't but notice what a difference that one little offer had made in his demeanor.

"I'm… I'm not sure. I'll have to give it some thought."

"You do that." She slipped out the double doors, leaving the Doctor alone with his thoughts.

Kathryn finally climbed into bed at 2300 hours. One thing after another had continued to demand her attention, forcing her to have Aspen Evans accompany her daughter to the Holodeck and to dinner. Luckily, she had been able to get free to put her daughter to bed, a ritual the two of them enjoyed. Kathryn would help Sarah pick out nightclothes and then sit behind her on one of their beds and slowly comb out her long black hair. When combed, it lost its defining curls and was instead full of soft waves, just as gorgeous as the curls. She would then tuck her daughter in, kiss her forehead, and tell her "Good night. I love you." A simple ritual, to be sure, but it was something both of them needed.

Unfortunately, on this particular night, she had a veritable mountain of personnel reports and engineering reports to go through after Sarah was tucked into bed, keeping her up for several more hours. At last, exhausted, she let her hair down, shook it loose, and put on her own nightclothes, a very pretty pale pink silky nightgown that Sarah had given her for Mother's Day that year. With a sigh of relief, she pulled her own covers up to her chin and quickly drifted off to sleep.

She was woken not too much later when the comm signal sounded.

"Kim to Captain Janeway."

Being both a mother and captain, it wasn't hard to shake off any trace of tiredness. "Janeway here."

"Captain, we've got him back, the Romulan."

She closed her eyes in relief for a moment, then sat up and pushed the sheets and comforter off of her. "Good work. Put him through to my quarters." She stood and walked out to the living room. "This is Kathryn Janeway."

"This is the cargo vessel _Talvath_."

"Thank you for answering our hail, captain. What is your name? How may I address you?"

"I'd prefer not to give my name."

"Very well. I understand that you must've been skeptical when I told you where we are. I hope you've been able to verify our position."

"My analysis of your hailing frequency seems to indicate that it originates in the Delta Quadrant but I am not precluding the possibility that you've been able to create that illusion somehow."

Frustrated, Kathryn asked, "To what end?"

"I'm not sure but that doesn't negate the possibility."

"How can I assure you of my truthfulness?"

"Mama?" Sarah was standing in the doorway between the living room and the bedroom, blinking blearily and rubbing her eyes with one hand. The other hand clutched her stuffed horse.

"Sarah, go back to bed," Kathryn gently told her daughter. "I have to talk to the captain of the cargo ship."

"Is that a child?" the _Talvath_ captain asked.

"Yes, my daughter. I'm sorry for the interruption."

The man paused. Sarah took advantage of the opportunity and blurted out, "We're telling the truth, I promise."

Kathryn shushed her and repeated, "Go back to bed, Sarah." The small girl complied reluctantly, yawning. "Once again, I apologize, captain."

"I suppose," he said slowly, "Most spies would not bring their children along. You say you are a Federation ship. Are you a Starfleet vessel?"

"Yes, we are."

"I didn't think Starfleet captains brought their families along on missions. What is your mission in the Delta Quadrant?"

"Our mission was originally in the Alpha Quadrant. We were pulled against our will to our present location. Now we're trying to get home."

"You could still be spies."

"Captain, I understand your concern. Naturally, the Romulan Empire doesn't want Starfleet spying on its science vessel, but since we're 70,000 light-years from Romulan space and a subspace message to Starfleet would take years, I think you have to admit that we can't be much of a threat to you. You have nothing to fear from us."

"Soothing words, but they are only words."

"If we were spies, we wouldn't be asking what I'm going to ask you now. We have no way of communicating with Starfleet, with our friends and families. We're hoping you might be able to relay a message for us. Our crew is not large. Each of them could write a short personal message. You'd be welcome to read them all before passing them on. I think you'd be convinced that they're nothing more than the heartfelt words of some very lonely people."

"Captain, it would ease my apprehension if I could see this daughter of yours and that you are who you say you are. I have a signal amplifier on board. I've been working to reconfigure the protocols to penetrate the radiation stream of the wormhole. I think it might be possible to establish a visual link between us."

"I have no objection. When that's done, will you help us?"

"I make no promises. Let us proceed one step at a time. Have your officers contact me to attempt the visual link. Good night."

"Good night," Kathryn replied, seated on the couch gazing out at the stars.

Sarah was dreaming.

She dreamed that they established a visual link with the Romulan captain. For some reason, he and Captain Janeway talked very little. Mostly he swapped jokes with Tom. While she pondered this strange turn of events, there was suddenly a loud beeping from Harry's console. Harry was, at that moment, playing a very serious game of rock-paper-scissors with B'Elanna.

"Is someone going to get that?" Sarah called out. The entire bridge crew seemed not to hear, not even her mother, who was combing her hair and watching the console between her chair and Chakotay's. _This is really weird, _Sarah thought, but went to check out the source of the beeping anyway. She hurried to the ops station and managed to climb into Harry's chair. Sensors showed that the wormhole was suddenly getting bigger. "Look!" she called out, but the entire bridge crew had vanished. With apprehension, she watched alone as the wormhole grew from a mere tear in space to a colossal tunnel. She didn't even have time to think about getting to the helm console and moving the ship before _Voyager_ was swallowed up. She could only hold on as the vessel was violently buffeted and tossed through the eerie green passageway.

Suddenly, the ship screeched to a stop. The viewscreen showed her a picture of Earth. _We're home!_, she thought. Half a second later, she disappeared from the empty bridge and found herself in a large reception hall, crowded with people. Admirals were everywhere, shaking hands with _Voyager _crewmembers. No one seemed to notice her as she pushed her way through the crowd, looking for her mother. It seemed like forever, but she finally found her.

Kathryn was standing with a man Sarah didn't recognize. "Mama, who's that?"

Without interest, her mother replied, "Oh, that's my husband. You need a father figure. Now, run along and try to stay out of the way."

Her mouth open in shock, Sarah could merely stare at the tall, dark figure in the shadows. He turned to look at her, but where his face should have been, there was only a black void. Terrified, she began to run. She wasn't paying attention to where she was going, and almost immediately ran headlong into someone. She fell to the floor and looked up. A man with an enormous phaser rifle stood there, looking down at her. "Careful," he said in a gruff voice.

"What…what's going on?" she asked, trembling.

"No need to worry. Just guarding the prisoners." The man indicated them by pointing his rifle.

In a small room just off the main reception area, heavily guarded by a crackling blue forcefield and large men with evil-looking weapons, sat _Voyager's _Maquis. Chakotay, B'Elanna, and several others she somewhat recognized sat on the floor of the small room, wearing tattered Maquis clothing and looking dejected.

"No!" Sarah shouted. "They haven't done anything!" She got to her feet and began to run, this time looking for an exit. Her heart pounded and tears began to slide down her cheeks. _I have to get out! This is not what I wanted! I don't belong here!!_

Suddenly, her eyes flew open. She sat straight up in bed and whirled around. The familiar starfield was still outside her bedroom window. Breathing a sigh of relief, she glanced over at her mother's bed. Kathryn Janeway was sound asleep. Sarah sighed again. _It was only a dream. _Snuggling closer to her stuffed horse, she pulled the covers up to her chin and promptly fell back asleep.

The next morning, Sarah stood with her mother on the bridge, both of them crisply dressed in red and black and looking quite different from their nighttime selves. Sarah had forgotten her nightmare from the night before and was left with only a vague sense of unease that she ignored.

"We're ready to try a visual link with the Romulan ship, captain," Tuvok announced from his station.

Kathryn smiled and nodded. "Good work."

"We didn't have any trouble configuring the protocols," Harry added. "But that phase variance in the radiation stream gave us a few problems. Torres is going to balance it manually from engineering."

After a few seconds, Tom spoke up. "Ok, we've got the communications frequency locked in."

Captain Janeway placed a hand on her daughter's shoulder. "On screen."

An image appeared, heavily distorted. Static popped and bounced about the picture until B'Elanna managed to clean it up. An average sized man, clearly Romulan, sat in a high-backed chair. A control panel was visible in the background. He glanced around _Voyager's _bridge, his eyes coming to rest on the captain and her small child. "I presume you are Captain Janeway and the girl is your daughter."

"Yes. I want to thank you, captain, for maintaining contact with us. It means a great deal to me, to my daughter, and to my crew."

Curiously, the Romulan captain continued, "I am not familiar with this class of ship."

"It's new but it isn't classified. I'm a little surprised your intelligence hasn't provided you with information."

"I've been in space for over a year, captain, and am not privy to the latest intelligence. I'm sure that our operatives have provided our government with detailed information about your new ship."

"No doubt. Captain, have you been able to communicate with your government about sending our messages?"

"I have. They've promised to take the matter under advisement."

"I see. And when do you think they will have an answer?"

"It is impossible to predict the timetable of the Romulan Senate. When they've made their decision I will hear from them."

"We don't have the luxury of a great deal of time. My officers are predicting that the probe will become inoperable within the next 48 hours."

"Captain, I am low-ranking scientist, a minor functionary. It is not my place to tell the Romulan Senate to speed up their decision-making process."

Sarah could feel an almost tangible sense of longing among the bridge crew, a chance to communicate with their loved ones so close and yet so far away. The thought that the Romulan Senate could take away any chance at all created an atmosphere of unease and the edge of desperation. Sarah looked at her mother, and Chakotay, and Harry, and made a decision.

Sarah stepped forward, determination evident in her posture. With a gentle look on her face, she addressed the Romulan captain. "Captain, sir, if I may…You said you've been in space for more than a year. Do you have any family?"

The stern-looking man eyed the small girl. "Yes," he answered.

"They're not with you in space, are they?"

"My wife and my daughter are on Romulus," he replied.

"A daughter. How old is she?"

"She is seven months old."

"Seven months?" It took Sarah a fraction of second to realize the math. "You've never seen her."

The Romluan's face softened a bit. "To my sorrow, no. She'll be two years old before I get back."

"You must miss your family very much."

"I knew when I accepted this assignment there would be a price to pay. Perhaps I didn't realize how high the price would be."

"I'm four years old," Sarah told him. "At home on Earth are my grandma, my dog, my kittens, my friends, and my aunt. I might not see them for a long time, maybe never," she admitted sadly. "Only my mama is with me. Most of the crewmembers aboard don't have any of their family with them. Everyone on this ship knows how lonely you must be. I know you can understand how we must feel, too."

Kathryn Janeway gave her daughter an appreciative smile and stood behind her. She put her hands on her daughter's shoulders and again addressed the Romulan captain. "We would be deeply grateful for any efforts you might make to persuade your government to send our messages."

"I cannot guarantee success," he replied. "But I will try to persuade my superiors to make the decision quickly and positively." Looking again at the captain's daughter, he asked, "What is your name, child?"

"Sarah," she answered quietly.

"Sarah." He observed her in silence, perhaps thinking of his own daughter, also very far away. He locked eyes with the small girl and quietly assured her, "I will do my best." Raising his eyes to her mother, he added, "I will contact you again." His image vanished from the viewscreen.

Captain Janeway turned to her first officer. "Commander, let's assume he's going to be successful. Tell the crew to prepare personal messages and have them ready within the hour."

Chakotay smiled broadly. "A pleasure, captain."

Suddenly, Lieutenant Torres rushed onto the bridge, obviously very excited about something. "Captain, I have to talk to you!"

Kathryn gave her a slightly puzzled look. "Go ahead, Torres."

"No, I mean, in private," the engineer insisted.

Indicating her ready room, the captain followed B'Elanna inside. The doors had barely closed when words started spilling out. "I think this will work, Captain, but I didn't want to bring it up in front of the crew. It wouldn't be right to get their hopes in case it doesn't work, although I think it will."

Kathryn held up a hand. "Slow down, Torres. Tell me what you're talking about."

Without bothering to try to stifle her exhilaration, she blurted out, "The phase amplitude of the visual link with the Romulan ship, it's within a megahertz of meeting transporter protocols!"

The captain felt herself jolt as she processed what the chief engineer had just told her. "Are you suggesting…"

"We might be able to piggy-back a transporter beam onto the visual beam. We could transport the entire crew back to the Alpha Quadrant."

"You'll have to reconfigure the matter transmission rate."

"Fairly substantial."

"And we risk losing whatever we try to beam out," Kathryn added, though she could feel excitement mounting within her.

"We'll have to run a series of tests first."

"See to it, lieutenant."

"I'll need some help."

"You have my authorization to use any of the ship's personnel you need. This is top priority. And don't worry about secrecy. I doubt you'll be able to keep this quiet for very long."

"Aye, captain," B'Elanna answered, then dashed out of the room.

Kathryn watched her go. _Are we going home? _As she contemplated this turn of events, her eyes fell on a shiny silver picture frame. She picked it up with a wistful smile. The picture showed Kathryn, Sarah, and their Irish Setter, Molly. It was a recent photo, taken a few weeks before _Voyager _had left Deep Space Nine. Mother and daughter were in front of the lilac trees behind Grandma Gretchen's house. Sarah wore a cute baby blue sleeveless shirt and shorts, and her hair was pulled back in a matching hair tie. She knelt beside her mother and had one arm around Molly's neck and had the most radiant smile on her face. Kathryn wore dark blue pants and a light blue short-sleeved shirt, her own hair in a long ponytail pulled over her shoulder. She sat beaming beside her daughter.

Looking intently at every aspect of the picture, Kathryn could almost hear Molly's bark and Sarah's laughter. She could almost feel the warm summer sun and gentle breeze. She could almost smell the lilacs. _Is it possible that by this time tomorrow we'll be back in the Alpha Quadrant, tens of thousands of lightyears closer to home?_

Sarah watched her mother and B'Elanna enter the ready room, feeling as confused as her mother. "I wonder why B'Elanna's so excited," she wondered aloud to Chakotay.

"I don't know," he replied, shaking his head. "While we wait, why don't you start your letter?" He held out a PADD to her.

She took it from him almost reverently. "Thank you. I will." Without really thinking, she curled up in the captain's chair and started to type.

'_Dear Grandma Gretchen,_

_ I miss you a lot. How's Molly? The Delta Quadrant is strange but interesting. Don't worry—mama keeps me safe. I love you._

_Dear Aunt Phoebe,_

_ I miss you so much. I started using the art kit you gave me. I hope I'll see you soon. We never stop looking for wormholes. I love you._

_Dear Peike,_

_ I miss you all the time. You're my best friend. You would like it here—didn't you wish you had been born on a starship? I'm taking lots of pictures so that when we get back it'll be like you came along. Your best friend, Sarah.'_

Sarah glanced back over what she had written. It was very short, personal, and positive, exactly right for its purpose. She was sorely tempted to write more but she knew that the entire crew would be sending messages and she didn't want to make the data stream too big. Leaning back in the chair, she let herself wonder what it might be like at home.

A while later in Sick Bay, Kes handed the Doctor a stack of PADDs. "I've finished these and I'm ready for more."

The Doctor was astonished. "You've finished those already?"

"I enjoyed studying anatomy. It would be interesting to see an autopsy sometime."

"What are the bones of the middle ear?" the Doctor asked, testing her.

"Malleus, incus and stapes," she replied confidently.

"And the connective tissue between the middle and the external auditory canal?"

"The tympanic membrane."

He looked impressed. "I suspect you have an eidetic memory, which I believe the captain's daughter may possess as well—an astonishing gift. I'll do a full neural scan on the two of you at some point." He walked into his office, Kes in tow.

"I've been thinking: if we do get back to Federation space I'd like to explore the possibility of going to medical school," she said.

"If you continue to apply yourself as you have, by the time we get back you may already have the equivalent of a medical degree."

"Then you haven't heard?" Kes asked, surprised.

"Heard what?"

"That we might be getting back soon."

Irritated, he replied, "If there's one thing you can count on, it's that I am the last to be told about anything that happens on this ship."

"Everyone's talking about it. There may be a way to transport all of us to the Alpha Quadrant. Chief Torres and half of engineering are working on it right now."

"I see. Well, I'll say goodbye now. I won't be transporting with the rest of you."

Confused and surprised, she asked, "But can't we download your program and take you with us?"

"My program is fully integrated into the Sickbay system. At present I cannot be downloaded." The Doctor tried to appear unconcerned.

Spontaneously, Kes leaned down and kissed the Doctor on the cheek. "Thank you for everything." She turned to leave.

"Wait," the Doctor called out, suddenly urgent. "I'd like…that is, could I ask a favor of you?"

"Anything."

"If you do leave, before you go would you check to make sure I've been deactivated?"

"I promise," she replied solemnly.

In the ready room, Sarah stared openmouthed at her mother. "We might _what_?"

Kathryn beamed at her daughter. "We might be going home! B'Elanna may have found a way to transport us to the Alpha Quadrant using the visual link with the Romulan ship!" She picked up Sarah and hugged her tightly.

Sarah hugged her mother back. She was surprised, however, to find that she wasn't completely thrilled. She felt a trace of hesitation as she thought about returning, though she wasn't sure why.

Putting her daughter back on the ground, Kathryn held her hand and said, "Let's go to the bridge. We have to run a few tests before we know for sure."

Sarah nodded and followed her mother out of the ready room.

Tom announced that they were in contact with the Romulan captain again, and Captain Janeway greeted him with an explanation of what the _Voyager _crew wanted to try, finishing with, "And our chief engineer has managed to bind a transporter beam to the visual link between us."

"Then you've matched your data transmission to the phase amplitude of our comm signal?" he asked.

"Exactly."

"Apparently our intelligence operatives are not doing their job," he replied, impressed. "You clearly have technology that we are unaware of. This would be an incredible breakthrough in subspace field mechanics."

"If it's successful," Chakotay added, "We'd like to try transmitting a test cylinder to you."

"Test cylinder? Of what sort?"

"It's a standard Starfleet mechanism of a varietal molecular matrix. It simulates most known organic and non-organic compounds. It is not classified technology," Tuvok informed the Romulan.

"Ah, I am aware of this mechanism. We use a similar device. I will allow the transport."

Sarah watched her mother tap her commbadge. "Bridge to Transporter Room One."

"Torres here. We're all set, captain. The lock is active and we're focused on the Romulan's transporter coordinates."

"All right then. Let's give it a try," Kathryn said.

Chakotay gave the order. "Energize."

After a split second, B'Elanna announced, "The cylinder has dematerialized, captain."

Sarah could see the container begin to materialize on the console near the Romulan, but something was clearly wrong.

"Can you get it back?" her mother asked.

"The pattern buffer is having trouble accepting the matter stream. I'll increase power to the phase transition coils," replied Harry from the transporter room where he was assisting B'Elanna.

"Adjust the coils to 37 megajoules," the engineer suggested.

As soon as he did, Sarah saw the entire container shimmer into being.

"Congratulations, captain, you've done it. Very impressive," the _Talvath _captain replied.

"We should run a series of these tests just to make sure," Captain Janeway said, "But we have to act quickly before the probe is crushed."

"I understand."

"Eventually we'll have to try transporting a person. One of our crew will beam to your ship if you'll allow it."

"I'm afraid I can't permit that, captain. My government would never allow Starfleet personnel on this ship. I wouldn't want my logs to show that activity."

"Then what would you suggest?" Tuvok asked.

"I'll volunteer to transport to your ship and back again."

"But captain," Kathryn said, a hint of worry in her voice. "If we can't transport to your ship how are we to get back?"

"If the procedure is successful, I'll arrange for a troop ship to join me. That would easily accommodate your crew."

She nodded in understanding. "Very well. We'll be in touch."

A while later, Sarah walked with her mother, Chakotay, and Tuvok to the transporter room. Tuvok had a phaser and a tricorder on either hip.

"Kim and Torres have made more than twenty transports of the test cylinder. Even though she's still having trouble with that phase variance, every one of them has been successful," Chakotay informed them.

"Let's hope it goes as well with the Romulan." Kathryn replied.

"Captain, I must insist that I stay with him at all times while he is on board," Tuvok said.

"Agreed." She then added to her daughter, "Sarah, you're to stay behind me until we sure it's safe."

"Yes, mama," Sarah replied obediently. "I just want to see him."

The group entered the transporter room. Sarah accordingly stood directly behind her mother as B'Elanna reported, "We're locked onto him. Whenever you're ready, captain."

"Well, let's try it. Energize."

Peering around her mother's legs, Sarah could see the vague, blue-tinted shape of the Romulan begin to appear, but transport didn't complete as it should.

"What's the problem?" Kathryn asked.

"It's the phase variance in the radiation stream. I'm balancing it manually," B'Elanna replied.

This time the transport was successful and Romulan captain stood on the transporter pad in one piece.

"Welcome to the Delta Quadrant, captain," Kathryn Janeway greeted him, smiling. Seeing that there was no danger, Tuvok put away the phaser he had drawn. Taking her cue from him, Sarah stepped forward. "My First Officer Commander Chakotay, Lieutenant Tuvok head of Security, Chief Engineer Torres, Operations Officer Kim, and my daughter, Sarah."

"My congratulations on your remarkable accomplishment. This is an astonishing breakthrough," the Romulan said in admiration.

"For a while there, I didn't think you were going to make it. There was a phase variance in the radiation stream. It almost kept us from pulling you through," B'Elanna informed him.

With a wide grin, Kathryn said, "Mr. Tuvok, you may begin evacuation procedures."

Sarah's heart leapt into her throat. For some reason, she hadn't thought about leaving _Voyager _behind. She suddenly felt afraid and had just opened her mouth to speak up, when Tuvok, who had been scanning the Romulan, beat her to it.

"I suggest we delay that for the moment, captain. I'm afraid I've found the reason for the unusual phase variance."

"What is it?" Captain Janeway asked.

"Captain, what year is it?" Tuvok asked, addressing the Romulan.

"What year…?"

"If you please."

"By your calendar," the _Talvath _captain replied. "The year is 2351."

"But this is 2371," Sarah said in surprise. _Maybe we won't have to abandon the ship after all…_

"Exactly," Tuvok said. "Our Romulan visitor is a person out of time. He's showing clear evidence of temporal displacement. I would surmise that the rift is a wormhole, not just in space, but also in time. The unusual phase variance we detected was actually an indication of a temporal shift. We have transported him from twenty years in the past to our present."

Sarah looked over at her mother. She was crestfallen, her hopes of getting her crew home now dashed. Sarah felt badly for her, but also couldn't suppress a feeling of relief that she couldn't explain. _I miss everyone at home, so why don't I want to go back? _She didn't have an answer for herself.

The entire bridge crew, as well as the Romulan captain, gathered in the briefing room to discuss the turn of events. Sarah stood inconspicuously in the corner nearest the head of the table while her mother paced around the room. Everyone else was seated around the table.

"I've gone over and over the transporter logs," B'Elanna informed them grimly. "There's no question that if we try to transport ourselves through that wormhole, we'll end up 20 years in the past."

"Then let's do it. It's better than spending the next 70 years trying to get back," Harry said fervently.

"How can we do that? We'd be going back to a time when you were only 2 years old," Tom reminded him.

Kathryn had been circling the room and now stopped beside Ensign Kim. "I know you're disappointed, Harry. We all are. It seemed we were so close. But clearly we can't go back. It would pollute the timeline to such an extent that the consequences would be unimaginable." She continued walking, this time stopping before the _Talvath _captain. "I'm afraid we'll have to send you back alone and ask that you not reveal anything that has happened here."

"I can assure you, captain," he replied in a very serious manner. "That I would not do anything that might contaminate the future and thus harm the Romulan Empire. In 20 years I could alert Starfleet not to launch the mission which sent you here."

"I'm afraid that's not possible either," Chakotay interjected. "We've already had a huge impact on this Quadrant. People and events here would be drastically affected."

"I'm afraid we're left with our original request. In 20 years, would you relay our personal messages to Starfleet?" Kathryn asked.

"Of course. At the proper time I will transmit them. If you should find your way back during my lifetime I'd be an old man, but I would welcome a message from you. I am Telek R'Mor, of the Romulan Astrophysics Academy."

"I promise you'll hear from us, because we will get back." Kathryn was firmly optimistic.

Telek R'Mor inclined his head towards her respectfully. As people began to file out of the briefing room, he spoke up hesitatingly. "Captain, I'd like to ask a personal favor of you in return."

"Certainly. We're all extremely grateful to you."

He hesitated again, then slowly asked, "May I…may I…hold your daughter?"

Before Kathryn could reply, Sarah stepped out of the corner she had been standing in and hurried over to the Romulan man. She looked up at him, gently smiled, and held out her arms. It wasn't any strange ability that told her he was completely trustworthy. Anyone could have picked up on the aura of loneliness surrounding him.

He picked her up easily, almost as though she were a doll, and held her to him gently. Sarah rested her head on his strong shoulder and patted his back comfortingly.

"I didn't realize how much I missed my own daughter until I saw you with your daughter, Captain Janeway," he said quietly. "When get back to my own ship, I intend to see if there is anything I can do to get back to Romulus more quickly."

Within minutes, the group had returned to the transporter room. Tuvok handed Telek a small, yellow-green computer chip. "These are our messages."

The Romulan nodded and turned to Captain Janeway. "I wish you luck on your journey."

"I wish you luck on yours," she replied. "And I thank you for your help."

Telek R'Mor then rested a hand on Sarah Janeway's shoulder, wordless thanks. She gave him her brightest smile to bolster his spirits.

He made his way to the transporter pad. Once he was in place, Kathryn ordered, "Energize," and he shimmered away into nothingness.

"The signal's in the pattern buffer," B'Elanna announced. "Transferring to the emitter array."

"Phase variance out of sync again," Harry said.

"Compensating. Transport complete, captain. He made it."

"I'll tell the crew," Kathryn said, somewhat melancholy. "They can have the satisfaction of knowing their messages have reached their families."

"Captain, I did not want to mention this until after our guest had left," Tuvok spoke up, seemingly reluctantly. "I checked the computer databanks for a Romulan scientist named Telek R'Mor."

"And?"

"I'm sorry to report that Dr. R'Mor died in 2367."

Sarah felt her spirits sink. _No one even knows that we're alive. _She watched Harry slump forward and rest his forearms on the transporter console. B'Elanna placed a hand on his shoulder consolingly.

"That was four years ago," Kathryn said sadly.

"That is correct," Tuvok replied. "Before he would've sent our messages."

Kathryn paced in front of the transporter pad, thinking hard.

"Maybe he left a will telling someone else to transmit the messages. Or he could've given our computer chip to the Romulan government," Sarah said, feeling she needed to restore some hope.

"It is possible," Tuvok admitted. "Unfortunately, there is no way to know."

"Then let's move on," Kathryn said resolutely. "We've got a long way to go." She set her face determinedly and held her hand out to Sarah. Sarah stepped forward and took it, nodding determinedly as well.

_And we will get back, _she thought_. I know it. _

Somewhere on Romulus, a young girl crouched in a storage closet. She was determined not to be the first one found by her brother. As she carefully and quietly moved to the very back, her hand landed on a metal container. The second her skin made contact with the silvery surface, it glowed a faint red and opened with a hissing sound. She clapped a hand over her mouth to keep from yelling out. She stared at the container suspiciously for a while, but curiosity soon got the better of her. Reaching inside, she pulled out a data pad that whirred to life at her touch.

An image of her grandfather began to speak. "I hope you remember me, Tereka. How do I know it's you? Quite simply—this data pad and its container were programmed with your DNA so that they would only open for you."

Captivated, Tereka watched and listened intently. "You're different. I can trust you. I knew that your mother and her brothers would never understand, that they might even want to destroy it." At this, the data pad beeped and spit something into her lap. She picked it up. It was something small and greenish-yellow.

A very grey Telek R'Mor gazed out of the data pad, earnest and almost desperate. "Tereka, I need you to do something for me…"

Author's Note: Sorry this is late. Hey, at least I apologize, right? I hope you liked it. Please leave a review if you can. Thank you, everyone!!


	12. Ex Post Facto

_Disclaimer: All characters, vessels, science, and the original plot belong to Paramount with the exception of Sarah Janeway, the new parts of the plot, and anything else that I made up._

Author's Note: I know, I know—I've taken a long time to update before, but this is just ridiculous. My life is pretty icky. (Even **Christmas **was lousy.) I won't go into the sordid details, but let's just say writing my stories has become a low priority because of everything else. I'm currently trying to get it up higher on my priority list so that you don't have wait months for an update. We'll see how that goes.

Now, about this episode: _CSI: Delta Quadrant_, anyone? :) I'm really thinking about doing a _Voyager_**—**_CSI _crossover, since they're my two favorite shows of all time. If you have suggestions, send me an e-mail or a private message. I'd love to hear from you guys!

I hope you enjoy this most recent installment in the series. I apologize for the copious amount of original dialogue, but when you're in a rush to get another chapter out, it helps to use that as a sort of 'place-filler'. I did try to insert several new scenes to compensate for that fact.

Please review if you can. Reading all the messages you took the time to write, even after reading such a long story, helps lift my spirits. :) I appreciate you guys, **a lot. **

_Anomaly_

'_Ex Post Facto'_

Sarah paced back and forth nervously in her mother's ready room. "They should have been back already," she worried aloud. Her stomach tingled unpleasantly and she twisted her hands together, hoping it was normal anxiety and not the return of her 'gifts'.

"Sarah, you're wearing a trench in the carpet," Kathryn gently chided her daughter as she glanced over a service report. "Stop worrying. It'll take them a while to work out a deal for a new collimator."

The young girl shook her head. "No, something's wrong. I can feel it." She had barely finished her sentence when a voice came over the comm system.

"Tuvok to Captain Janeway."

The captain tapped her commbadge. "Go ahead."

"Captain, our shuttle is approaching, but with only one lifesign aboard. I can not get them to respond."

Her eyes wide and fearful, Sarah stared at her mother, who responded, "Understood." The two of them then rushed onto the bridge. "Janeway to Sickbay. Activate Emergency Medical Holographic program," Kathryn ordered.

"I'm already on, captain. What can I do for you?"

"We've got an incoming shuttle with an injured crewman on board."

"Any details?"

"It's either Ensign Kim or Lieutenant Paris. We haven't been able to raise them."

"Understood."

Tuvok looked up from the panel in front of him. "Sensors indicate damage to various subsystems."

"You're sure there's only one lifesign aboard?" Kathryn asked.

"That is confirmed, captain."

"Transport him to Sickbay. I'll be down there," she ordered Chakotay, then entered the turbolift with Tuvok and Sarah. Inside, she ordered "Deck 5," and then turned to her daughter. "How did you know?"

The child gulped nervously. "I think it was just a gut feeling this time, not…not…something else." _I hope, anyway. _

Kathryn nodded. When the lift came to a stop, she led the other two to Sickbay at a brisk pace.

Harry Kim was laying on the main biobed. He looked pale and sickly, and Sarah heard the Doctor saying something about dehydration. _What happened to him?, _she moaned silently. _And where's Tom?_

Her mother was thinking along the same lines. "Can you tell us what happened to Paris, Mr. Kim?"

"They made me leave without him. They said he'd committed a murder," Harry replied weakly.

There was a barely audible collective sharp intake of breath throughout Sickbay. "Do you have any idea who the victim was?" Kathryn asked, hiding her anxiety.

"An engineering physicist we were working with. His name was Tolen Ren. The Banean Minister of Science introduced us to him just after we'd arrived. He said his wife would be happy to have company for supper and that we could look over _Voyager's _specifications then. There was no reason to say no. If we hadn't gone with him that night, none of this would've happened." At this point, the Doctor injected Harry with a hypospray. "We went into the other room and started to work on the navigational beam specifications. It was pretty dry stuff, you know, re-writing baseline code algorithms. Tom got bored. He left us alone for a while. I guess he was with Mrs. Ren. I know they saw each other the next day. That was the night Professor Ren was murdered," he finished.

"Did you talk to Lieutenant Paris after he was detained?" Tuvok asked.

"No. They never let me see him. They interrogated me for almost two days straight. They asked me a lot of questions about the Numiri. At first they must have thought we were Numiri agents or something. Professor Ren was the inventor of the Banean ship technology."

"He's completely exhausted. Can some of this wait until he's had a chance to rest?" the Doctor interjected.

Captain Janeway nodded. "We'll find out about Paris, Mr. Kim." She tapped her commbadge. "Janeway to Chakotay."

"Go ahead," came Chakotay's reply.

"Set a course for the Banean homeworld, commander."

"Aye, captain."

With that taken care of, Kathryn motioned for Tuvok to leave with her. Sarah stayed behind. The Doctor watched her for a minute, and then when he found she merely intended to offer her presence, he entered his office.

She stood silently beside the biobed for a while, gazing around the room. When she looked back at Harry, she saw that he had fallen asleep. _He must be exhausted. _Curiously, as she watched his sleeping form, she began to feel rather drowsy herself. _I guess it couldn't hurt to take short nap here…_

With that, she slid to the floor and promptly fell asleep.

The next thing she knew, she was standing in doorway in a building on what appeared to be an alien world. Four men stood in front of her, two of them being Tom and Harry. The other two were aliens with strange grey and red headdresses and ridges on their foreheads. She didn't recognize their species, but theorized that they were Baneans.

She watched the man the grey headdress introduce Harry and then Tom to the man with red headdress, Tolen Ren. _So the first man is the Banean Minister of Science…_

"So, you're from the other side of the galaxy," Tolen Ren was saying.

"70,000 light-years, give or take a few," Tom replied with his easy smile.

"If anybody on this world can help you, Professor Ren can. He's developed four generations of navigational arrays for our ships," the Minister of Science continued.

"We have to stay one step ahead of our neighbors, the Numiri. Did you bring your ship's specifications with you?"

Harry held up a PADD. "It's all here."

"Splendid. Why don't we begin to look it over at my home this evening? My wife would be delighted to have company for supper."

Harry and Tom agreed and followed Tolen Ren out of the room. Sarah moved to follow suit, but everything suddenly faded to black. When things faded back in, she saw that they were now in a private home. A tiny, scruffy-looking dog barked at them insistently.

Tolen Ren picked it up. "Oh come on now, Neeka, stop that racket. They're friends!" She stopped barking immediately. "That's better, that's better. What a good doggie, what a good doggie." He called out, "Oh dearest, are you dressed? We have guests." Turning to the two Starfleet officers, "I should've called. I just don't think of the common courtesies. She's really wonderful about tolerating my dreadful manners."

Just then, his attractive young wife strolled into the room, casually checking her blonde hair in a mirror on the wall. "So you've done it to me again?"

"Yes, dear. I apologize. Oh Lidell, this is Ensign Harry Kim and Lieutenant Tom Paris. They're from the other side of the galaxy."

"Hello," she addressed Tom and Harry.

Tom was clearly taken with her and replied, "Nice to meet you."

Sarah frowned disapprovingly, although she realized that for some reason, none of them could see her.

Lidell turned and rearranged some flowers in a vase. "You might've called."

"You're absolutely right. Do you have enough to feed us all or shall we go out?" Tolen answered apologetically.

"No, it's fine. I have some leftover rolk from yesterday. I'll just throw it in the stew."

"Wonderful. Gentlemen, make yourselves at home. I'm going to put on my slippers. Lidell will take good care of you."

He left the room, and Lidell turned to Tom and Harry. "Would you like a drink?"

Tom said nothing, so Harry hastily replied, "Sure."

Lidell opened a skinny wooden cabinet and said, "Help yourself." Then she too left the room.

Harry gave Tom a look.

"What're you looking at?" Tom asked.

"Not the same thing you're looking at, that's for sure."

Neeka barked at the two of them again.

"What're you looking at?" Tom asked her sarcastically.

Lidell re-entered the room with a plate and threw a piece of food on the floor. Neeka rushed over and gobbled it up as the Starfleet men gave their hostess a puzzled look.

"If the rolk was spoiled, Neeka wouldn't eat it," she replied.

Once again, things faded to black. A very confused Sarah then found herself standing next to Harry who was seated at a dinner table with Lidell, Tolen, and Tom.

Tolen ladled some of the stew into Harry's bowl. "Nothing too fancy, nothing exotic round here. We're very simple folks."

"You're very kind to include us at your supper table," Harry courteously replied.

"We enjoy an occasional guest. I think Lidell would prefer us to entertain more often than we do, yes? She's er, far more social than I am. I'm afraid she gets a little bored here sometimes. I'm so consumed with my work."

Tom shook his head apologetically. "And here we are bringing more of it home to take your husband's attention away for the evening."

"Whether you were here or not makes no difference. Tolen would work anyway," Lidell countered simply.

"I'm afraid she's right. We are at war after all. By the way, how did you get past the Numiri patrols?"

Harry smiled. "Lieutenant Paris is our best pilot."

"Captain Janeway decided not to take our ship into orbit. She wanted to avoid getting involved in your conflict. So we came in on a shuttlecraft that would avoid immediate detection by the Numiri. I hid behind the rim of the moon before I made a break for your defense perimeter. By the time their sensors picked us up they didn't have a chance to catch us," Tom explained.

"Well done!" Tolen clapped Tom on the shoulder.

At that moment, Lidell stood up from the table.

"Finished already?" her husband wanted to know.

She put her untouched plate on the floor for Neeka to eat. "The meat doesn't taste right," she said, unconvincingly, and she promptly left the room.

"Well, we do have a lot of work to get done," Tolen spoke up. "Perhaps we should begin."

At that moment, everything faded to black once again. This time, however, it stayed black.

Suddenly, Sarah could feel someone's hand on her arm. She forced her eyes open and saw a few hazy shapes swimming before her face. She tried to say something, but it was as though she had no control of her tongue. She could feel it roll around in her mouth and she could hear some sort of noise, but she had no idea what she'd said, if anything at all.

"Sarah, are all right? What are you trying to say?"

Her mother's voice. Apparently she had said something. She tried it again.

"What? Sarah, say it one more time."

She obeyed, and this time she could hear herself: "Neeka."

As soon as she saw the faces of her mother, the Doctor, and Tuvok, she knew it had been the wrong thing to say.

"How do you know the dog's name?" Kathryn asked, shocked.

Sarah wanted to pretend it had been because of something else, but the truth spilled from her unwilling lips: "I saw it."

"What all did you see? Did you see the murder?" Her mother couldn't help becoming a little excited at the prospect that they could have evidence to exonerate Tom, but immediately she felt guilty for half-hoping that her daughter had seen a murder.

"No, I just saw what Harry saw." A few warm tears leaked from Sarah's eyes. _Not this again…_

Kathryn took pity on her small daughter and gently lifted her from floor onto her shoulder. "I'm going to take her back to our quarters. Is she all right?"

The Doctor ran a medical tricorder over her. "She's fine physically."

Kathryn nodded in acknowledgement and left Sick Bay with Sarah draped tiredly over her shoulder.

Back in their quarters, she tucked her daughter into bed and gently brushed the hair off her sleeping face. She stood and watched her sleep for a while, wondering for the millionth time where Sarah's incredible powers came from and why they showed up at odd and unpredictable moments.

She still couldn't understand exactly how Sarah had seen what Harry had seen. After an hour or two, the Doctor had summoned them back to Sick Bay saying that Harry had recovered somewhat and wanted to give them more details on what had happened. That's how she herself had learnt the name of the Rens' dog. At the time, she had merely raised an eyebrow at her daughter's sleeping form on the floor near Harry's biobed thinking perhaps she was just tired. However, when she began to stir and murmur things to herself, looking distressed, Kathryn had tried to wake her, with the result of learning it was another one of her 'episodes'.

She watched her sleep a while longer. Finally, Kathryn kissed Sarah's forehead and left their quarters for her ready room, determined to get to the bottom of Tom's accusation and hoping that the sooner they got out of the area, the sooner Sarah's condition would sort itself out, as it had when they had encountered the creature that had at first appeared to be a nebula. She was sitting at her desk when the door chime sounded. "Come in."

Neelix entered the room. "You sent for me, captain?"

She gestured at the chair in front of her desk and he sat down. "Lieutenant Paris has gotten himself into trouble. I'm taking the ship into orbit while we try to sort things out."

"Be prepared to be intercepted by Numiri patrols. They always try to intimidate travelers to the Banean planet."

"The stakes are too high to send a shuttlecraft this time. I want to show our flag to make it clear that we mean business," she said grimly.

"I understand."

Kathryn stood up and started to pace around the room. "Based on your experience, what can we expect the Numiri to do to intimidate us?"

"To be honest, whenever I saw the Numiri coming I always left before the intimidation began," Neelix replied, laughing at his own joke.

The captain was not amused. She stopped pacing and stood behind him with her arms folded sternly.

Neelix abruptly stopped laughing and became serious again. He turned around and stood to face her. "Er, however, I know from knowledgeable sources that they have directed energy weapons comparable to your own, our own, that is, plus regenerative shields that may even give them a certain advantage over us in a fire fight."

"Tell me about them, as a people. Are they aggressive, technical, intellectual, emotional, anything that might help me deal with them?"

"The Numiri and the Banea are quite different from one another, even though they once co-existed on the same planet. That's why I recommended the Banea to you in the first place. The Numiri have a remarkably covert society."

_Great, _Kathryn thought to herself. Suddenly, the comm signal sounded.

Chakotay's voice came through. "Captain to the Bridge."

"On my way," she called back. Neelix followed her out of the ready room and onto the bridge. Chakotay stood facing the view screen, looking somewhat tense.

"We're scanning the Numiri vessel approaching," he reported. "They're at combat readiness, captain."

Kathryn didn't hesitate. "Shields up. On screen."

The main viewscreen showed a small, functional-looking grey vessel. "Standard patrol vessel. Curious," Neelix said, puzzled.

"Why?" she asked.

"I would've expected them to send out more than one tiny patrol to meet a ship like this."

"Let's hope it's a positive sign. Hail them."

Tuvok did so, and then reported, "They're responding."

The image of the ship on the main viewer was replaced with the image of the patrol ship captain—a rather ugly alien man with brown skin, multiple ridges on the forehead, and one ridge on either cheek. He wore a high-necked olive green uniform with strips of shiny silver material running up and over each shoulder.

"I am Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation starship Voyager," she informed the Numiri captain.

"What is your business in this system?" he asked in a straightforward manner.

"One of my crewmen is being held on the Banean planet. We're on our way to investigate."

"Consider this official notice that you are entering a war zone. You do so at your own risk."

"Understood."

"Any attempt to provide aid or supplies to the Banea will be considered an act of war against the Numiri."

"You have my word that we intend to remain neutral in your conflict. Our only interest is in our own crewman," Kathryn said firmly.

"Proceed. Your activities will be monitored." With that, the Numiri captain ended their contact.

Neelix looked at the screen, once again displaying the image of the patrol ship, in a confused manner. "Very, very curious. In Numiri terms, that greeting was downright friendly."

Kathryn frowned thoughtfully. "Have all security stations remain at full alert. Continue long-range scans for Numiri vessels around the clock."

"Aye, captain," came Tuvok's response.

She went over and sat in her chair before ordering, "Take us into orbit."

An hour or so later, Captain Janeway and Tuvok beamed down to the Banean city. They were promptly escorted to the office of the Banean Minister of Science, a medium sized utilitarian room with soft grey walls and bright wall-mounted lights shaped like tongues of flame and framed in silver metal. The minister's desk was shaped like a half circle and made of what resembled grey marble. The chair behind the desk had an extremely high rectangular back, while the two chairs in front of the desk had backs that started low one side, then swooped up and back down in a circular fashion to become low backed again on the opposite side. Kathryn barely took any of this in as she shook the minister's hand. She was determinedly focused on finding Tom and sorting everything out.

"Captain. It's unfortunate that we must meet under these circumstances," he was saying.

Indicating Tuvok, she said, "My chief of security, Lieutenant Tuvok." The minister shook his hand as well.

The minister then indicated the chairs in front of his desk as he seated himself in the chair behind his desk. "Please."

Kathryn was too focused to sit down. "Exactly what are these circumstances, Minister? All we know is that a member of our crew has been accused of murder."

"Oh I'm afraid he's been more than just accused. He's been convicted and punished according to our law."

_Execution? _Fear settled in her throat, but she managed to keep her voice firm. "What form of punishment?"

"The perpetrator of a murder is forced to relive the crime through his victim's eyes."

Tuvok spoke up. "How is this achieved?"

"I can have our Chief Medical Officer describe the procedure in detail if you wish. We have the capability of isolating memory engrams in the brain. We take them from the final moments of life. After they're used in the trial they're transplanted into the perpetrator's brain."

"These memories are used in the trial as evidence?" she asked, somewhat taken aback.

"An artificial lifeform serves as host to the engrams and testifies as to their content. In this case, the victim's last memories clearly show Mr. Paris caught in an embarrassing episode with Mrs. Ren. An argument ensues. Paris is then seen by the victim's own eyes killing him. The evidence of his guilt is incontrovertible."

Kathryn and Tuvok exchanged glances, not completely sure of what they were hearing.

The minister led them to another room, not unlike a waiting room, with several low couches scattered about. A few guards and a Banean doctor escorted Tom inside. Kathryn and Tuvok hurried to his side.

"Are you all right, Tom?" the captain asked.

"I've been better," he replied wryly. His hair was messy and his uniform was rumpled, but he seemed outwardly to be fine.

Kathryn turned to the minister. "May we speak to him alone?"

"Of course." The minister signaled to the guards and the doctor, and they followed him out of the room.

"That rehab colony back in New Zealand doesn't seem so bad right now," Tom said sarcastically as soon as they had gone.

Without wasting time, Tuvok immediately asked, "Lieutenant, did you murder Professor Ren?"

The answer was swift, firm, and anxious. "No."

"But the victim's own eyes identified…" the captain began.

Tom interrupted her. "You don't have to tell me what the victim's own eyes saw, captain. I don't understand it either. But I did not kill him."

"Were you having improper relations with his wife?" Tuvok questioned.

"Their marriage was over. She told Tolen they were finished the same day he was killed."

"That does not answer my question."

"Nothing happened between us. Almost nothing."

"Tom, it's very important you tell us everything," Kathryn insisted, hoping desperately that there was a way to fix this mess. "Harry said you spent some time with Mrs. Ren while he and the Professor were working."

He sat down on one of the couches and rubbed his eyes tiredly. Kathryn sat down beside him and put a gentle hand on his shoulder as he recounted what had happened. "I was bored. You know how it is when two science guys get together. I came out of the other room, looked over and saw her in the atrium. Her eyes were a million kilometers away, staring at stars I'd just flown by the day before. We talked…"

Suddenly Tom flinched hard, as though he'd been punched. His face screwed up in pain and he started to shake.

Kathryn could feel color drain from her own face as her conn officer thrashed about in pain. "What's going on?"

"Apparently he's entering another cycle," Tuvok replied.

He shook for another dozen or so seconds, and then his eyes snapped open. He had a horrified look on his face as the cycle ended and he promptly collapsed, unconscious.

The Banean minister of science and chief medical officer rushed into the room. The doctor scanned Paris with a medical instrument.

"Is this normal?" the captain wanted to know, worried, as she slipped one hand under Tom's head.

"We had some problems integrating the Banean engrams into his alien neurology. This is the first time he's lost consciousness since the implant."

"I'd like to take him back with us, to our medical facility," she said decisively.

"I'm sorry, but I can't authorize that," the minister replied.

"Perhaps we should consider her request, minister," the Banean doctor spoke up. "We don't want to risk general synaptic failure. Their doctors may be better suited to stabilize his condition."

"All right," he acquiesced. "But you're not to leave orbit with him."

Kathryn Janeway turned to him, her face set determinedly and her voice like stone. "Minister, we don't intend to leave orbit until we prove his innocence." She slipped an arm under Tom's shoulders as Tuvok tapped his commbadge.

"Away team to Voyager. Three to beam up."

The three of them faded away in a sparkle of blue light.

Sarah had no idea how long she'd slept when she finally opened her eyes again. However, the exhaustion permeating her being told her it had been quite a while. She sat up in bed, slowly, and rubbed her eyes. "Computer, what time is it?"

"1400 hours," the computer replied.

"Computer, locate Captain Janeway."

"Captain Janeway is on the planet Banea."

_I've been asleep for a long time…_

Almost immediately, there were two computerized beeps in a lower key than usual. "Correction," the computer announced. "Captain Janeway is in Sick Bay."

Hope rose within her. _Maybe…_ "Computer, locate Lieutenant Paris."

"Lieutenant Paris is in Sick Bay."

_Yes!! _Sarah crawled out from under the covers and slipped on her shoes. _They got Tom back! Everything will be ok now!_

She hurried out into the hallway and almost ran into another crewmember. "Sorry!" she called over her shoulder as she hurried to the turbolift around the corner at the end of the hall.

She bounced into Sick Bay, ready to welcome back her mother and friend. She stopped short and her insides went cold when she saw Tom laying on a biobed with the black scanning panels closed over him and the Doctor, her mother, Kes, and Tuvok hovering around a medical console.

"It's medicine clearly beyond anything we've ever encountered before. What bothers me the most is the neural pathway damage it seems to be causing. It appears to be progressive," the Doctor was saying.

The captain reviewed the cerebral scan on the monitor as she replied, "Then this punishment could actually be causing serious brain damage?"

"How long it might be before he's seriously affected I have really no idea."

"I would appreciate receiving a copy of your neurological analysis, Doctor," Tuvok chimed in.

"It's extremely technical. To the layman it would be virtually indecipherable."

"Nevertheless, I will want to examine it in detail."

The Doctor moved away to prepare a copy for him.

In a quiet tone, Captain Janeway added, "This might be the basis for an appeal of the sentence, don't you think?"

"Perhaps. However, before the neuro-implants were developed, the Banean punishment for murder was lethal injection. It is possible they would view that as the only alternative punishment in this case."

Kes asked the Doctor, "Will he regain consciousness?"

"I believe so, but each time the cycle repeats I'm afraid his brain will take another damaging blow."

Sarah shivered. She had heard enough. She left Sick Bay still unnoticed. She began to pace the ship's corridors, worried and not sure where she was going. _Tom didn't kill that man. Not __**my**__ friend Tom. He just didn't…_

Still in Sick Bay, Tuvok glanced over the PADD the Doctor had given him. "When he wakes up I will require an autonomic response analysis while I question him again, Doctor."

"Do you really think Tom would lie to us?" Kes asked in her quiet way.

"As an investigator, I do not have the freedom to ignore any possibility. Mr. Paris maintains his innocence, yet the victim has identified him from the grave, and the victim's wife has testified against him at the trial. Someone is obviously lying. An ARA will tell us if it is Mr. Paris."

"I'll have it ready for you," the Doctor said.

"In the meantime, captain, I request permission to return to the surface."

Kathryn Janeway looked curiously at her tactical officer. "What do you have in mind, Tuvok?"

"I would like to examine the murder scene and speak with Mrs. Ren."

Sarah sat cross-legged on the floor of the hydroponics bay, the soothing echoes of a guitar twirling through the air around her. Slowly, the sounds of the metallic strings reverberating began to calm her and melt away her anxiety. The knots in her stomach began to untie themselves. _The adults are going to work this out, _she kept telling herself. _There's not much I can do and worrying is just going to give me a terrible stomachache. _Images of Tom's unconscious body lying in Sick Bay kept creeping into her mind, but she determinedly shut them out, focusing instead on the computer's music selection. The song, if she concentrated hard enough, became a visible light show in her mind. The rising and falling of the beats corresponded to a blue wave infused with silver shimmers. She wasn't entirely sure how the sounds became sights in her mind's eye, but she appreciated the distraction and closed her eyes and simply watched.

She had been sitting there for nearly two hours when a comm signal broke through her music.

"Doctor to Sarah Janeway."

Startled, her eyes flew open. She simultaneously ordered the computer to pause the song and pressed her commbadge.

"I'm here."

"Would you please report to Sick Bay? Lieutenant Paris would like to have a word with you."

Somewhat reluctant after what had happened with Harry, she got to her feet. "Tell him I'm on my way."

A few minutes later she was standing beside Tom who was still on the central biobed. "Hi, Tom," she said.

"Hey there, Shadow," he replied with a grin.

"How are you?"

"Oh, I've been better."

"What did you want to talk to me about?"

Tom was silent for a moment. "Hear me out before you say no."

Sarah paused before answering, uncertain where he was going with this. "Ok…"

"Remember when that nebula creature was sending you telepathic messages?"

She cringed. "Unfortunately, yes, I do remember."

Now he paused. "I wouldn't ask if I wasn't desperate…I know how you feel about your abilities…"

She did not like the sound of this at all.

"But…is there any way for you to get inside my mind and prove that it wasn't me?"

She felt her face pale and her limbs stiffen. "No, no I can't…"

Tom's face was beseeching. "Please, Shadow. You have no idea what it's like to go through one of those cycles…Please…"

_And you have no idea what it's like to be a freak and experience weird things that you have no control over…_

Sarah looked at the ground for a minute or two, wrestling with her conscience. Tom was her good friend—didn't he deserve anything and everything she could do that might help? She sighed and looked up, doing her best to look brave. "All right," she said. "I'll…I'll try to do something…" The problem was she had no idea how to proceed. Her abilities always came on sporadically and she'd never actually tried to summon them.

She closed her eyes and concentrated on Tom, trying to figure out how to see what he had seen. Unlike with the music, no images came to her mind. There was only darkness. She tried harder, frowning in concentration and shutting her eyes even tighter than before. Even still, there was absolutely nothing. She tried for another minute or so before conceding defeat. "I'm sorry, Tom. Those things just…**happen** to me. I can't control them and I don't know how to use them."

Though he tried to hide it, disappointment still showed on Tom's face. "That's all right. At least you tried."

She quickly clambered up onto the biobed next to him and rested one of her small hands on top of one of Tom's. "Don't worry—they'll get this straightened out."

Meanwhile, Tuvok had beamed down to the Banean planet and stood in front of a Banean home. A young blonde woman holding a small, scruffy dog answered the door. The dog appeared unsettled and growled in its throat.

"Mrs. Ren?" Tuvok asked.

"Yes," she answered.

"I am the Starfleet chief of security investigating Lieutenant Paris' alleged participation in your husband's murder."

The dog began to bark and squirm in her grasp.

"Stop it, Neeka," she scolded, and then by way of explanation, added, "She just doesn't like strangers."

Tuvok followed Mrs. Ren into the living room area. "Based on your testimony I assume that this is where the murder occurred."

"Yes, right there. I had to have a professional cleaning crew come in to remove the bloodstain." She lounged on a small couch with Neeka.

"You chose to remain in the house after an act of such violence occurred?"

"This has been my home for over ten years, Mr. Tuvok. Do you really find that so hard to believe?"

"I am a Vulcan, Mrs. Ren. By nature we are a dispassionate people. It is rare to encounter someone as dispassionate as we are."

"Dispassionate? Is that how I seem to you? I think you'd get an argument from Tom Paris." She stood up and let Neeka down, and then made her way to the drink cabinet. "Can I get you a drink?"

"Thank you, no."

"Mind if I have one?"

"Please."

She helped herself to a small glass of red liquid as Tuvok continued, "You testified at the trial that you and your husband had an argument the afternoon before he was killed."

"I never said there was an argument, Lieutenant. Have you ever had to end a marriage?"

"No."

"Are you married?"

"My wife and I have been married for 67 years."

"I'm sure she's a fine dispassionate woman. I hope you never have to find out for yourself, but I can tell you, ending a marriage, it's a quiet thing. The arguments are long over and there's really nothing much left to say at all." She reclined in a chair with her drink and put her feet up on an end table.

"May I ask why you decided at this time to end your marriage to Professor Ren?"

"Because I was attracted to another man. I didn't want to deceive my husband."

"That other man was Lieutenant Paris. Lieutenant Paris would've been departing this planet in a few days and yet you left your husband of ten years for him."

"Maybe Tom gave me the push I needed. I already knew in my heart that it was time to start over."

"Exactly when did you see Mr. Paris on the day of the murder?"

"I went to see him at the Engineering Institute after I talked with my husband. Once I was free I knew he wanted to be with me."

"How did you know?"

"A woman knows, lieutenant. He left his friend Harry to finish the technical research and walk me home. We were caught in a cloudburst on the way. I made some marob root tea. We talked for a while. Then we went out to the atrium to watch the storm, and the rest you know."

"Did you leave the room at any time during the fight between your husband and Lieutenant Paris?"

"I saw Tom murder my husband, Mr. Tuvok. I tried to stop him. I couldn't."

Suddenly, Chakotay's voice broke in over the comm system. "Voyager to Tuvok."

"This is Lieutenant Tuvok."

"Mr. Paris has regained consciousness and he's ready to talk to you. I thought you'd want to know."

"Thank you. I will be returning shortly. Tuvok out." He turned to Lidell. "Thank you for your help, Mrs. Ren." He started for the door.

"Lieutenant," Lidell called.

Tuvok turned to face her.

"When you see Tom, would you tell him that I forgive him?"

He nodded once, and then left.

Sarah stood nearby one of the wall biobeds as Tuvok and the Doctor conducted an ARA on Tom. As Tuvok finished recounting what Lidell had told him, Tom replied, "Everything she told you is true. Except I don't remember going into the atrium or anything else after that."

"The last thing you remember is…?" Tuvok prompted.

"Sitting with her, drinking tea, talking about the central effects of eclipses. After that I must've fallen asleep. When I woke up I was in a cell."

The doctor peered at the readouts above the biobed. "He's telling you the truth," he informed Tuvok.

"Was there any evidence of a sedative in his system when he returned here?" Tuvok asked the doctor in reply.

"The Banean medical authorities checked him. They didn't find any drugs in his blood, plus narcotics would've gone from his system by the time he got to me."

The ship suddenly jolted. The adults were merely jostled, but Sarah was actually knocked off her feet.

The comm signal sounded. "Chakotay to Tuvok. You're needed on the Bridge. We're under attack by Numiri patrols."

"On my way, commander," Tuvok responded, and he hurried out of Sick Bay.

The bridge was a scene of barely controlled chaos as two Numiri patrols fired repeatedly at _Voyager_.

"Evasive pattern beta-one-four-zero, dual attack mode," Kathryn called out.

At the helm, Chakotay responded, "Evasive pattern confirmed."

"They're attempting to lock a tractor beam on us," Harry informed them.

"That is a standard tactic for the Numiri when they intend to board your vessel. Well, at least now you know I was telling you the truth about them, captain, although I take no pleasure in being right, mind you," Neelix explained very quickly.

Frustrated, Kathryn asked, "Why now? Why an unprovoked attack? What are they after?"

Neelix shrugged. "The Numiri have never needed an excuse to attack anyone."

As they took another hit, Harry added, "Shields at 90% and holding."

"Commander, prepare to initiate attack maneuver kappa-zero-one-zero," Kathryn ordered.

Chakotay responded, "Captain, if you don't mind, there's a Maquis trick we sometimes use to get out of situations like this."

"Be my guest."

Chakotay leaned towards the Engineering II station where B'Elanna sat. "B'Elanna, remember Teluridian IV, the Starfleet runabouts?"

A grin lit up her face. "I'm with you. Blowing out the dorsal phase emitters. Torres to Engineering."

"Go ahead."

"Vent a couple of LN2 exhaust conduits along the dorsal emitters. Make it look like we're in serious trouble."

"Understood."

"Cut all engines," Chakotay added.

"Engines offline," came B'Elanna's reply.

"Tuvok, lock phasers on their navigational deflectors."

"Acknowledged. The Numiri ships are closing, 4,000 kilometers."

Kathryn stood in the middle of the bridge. "Not to belittle Maquis tactics, commander, but this a very old trick."

"It worked against those Starfleet runabouts."

"You're lucky I wasn't commanding one of them," she responded, half-serious, half-teasing.

"2,000 kilometers," Tuvok called out.

"Besides," Chakotay added with a grin. "Out here in the Delta Quadrant every old trick is new again."

"1,500 kilometers."

"They're sending out tractor beams again," came Harry's voice.

"That's our cue. Fire phasers. Engage impulse engines."

_Voyager_'s phasers slammed into the unsuspecting Numiri vessels before moving away at high speed.

"Both Numiri vessels are disabled, captain."

Kathryn moved to stand beside Chakotay and put a hand on his shoulder. "That's one trick you won't be able to use again when we get back."

He grinned up at her. "I have more."

They both laughed.

Kathryn ordered, "Cancel red alert. Take us into high orbit."

As the lighting returned to normal, Neelix spoke up, warning, "Captain, more Numiri will be coming, I promise you."

_We have to get this sorted out before Tom and Sarah suffer any more, _Captain Janeway thought to herself in frustration. She turned to her tactical officer. "Mr. Tuvok, any progress with your investigation?"

"Based on the ARA," Tuvok replied in his calm, logical way. "I am convinced that Lieutenant Paris believes what he is saying. However, I can offer no tangible evidence on his behalf. Considering the urgency of the situation, I believe the only logical alternative at this time is to witness the crime myself."

Her skin prickled. She knew what he was implying.

"Yourself?" Chakotay asked, confused.

"I propose a mind-meld with Lieutenant Paris."

Neelix was the only one on the bridge who didn't know what it was or what it entailed. "A, a what? What did he say? A mind-what?"

Sarah was startled to see her mother and Tuvok enter the Sick Bay. "What's going on?"

"Tuvok wants to attempt a mind meld with Tom to prove his innocence," her mother told her as Tuvok conferred with the Doctor.

"Isn't that dangerous? I mean, if these cycles are damaging a human brain, what are they going to do to a Vulcan brain?" the small girl asked worriedly.

"I've examined the Doctor's neurological reports," Tuvok interrupted, "And I believe the risk is acceptable."

"Tuvok…" Kathryn began.

"Captain, the answers I seek can only be found in the eyes of the murdered man. It may be our only chance to prove Lieutenant Paris innocent."

Sarah, Kes, the Doctor, Tuvok, and the captain gathered around Tom who was on the main biobed. They stood in silence for a minute before Kathryn nodded somewhat reluctantly.

With a feeling of trepidation, Sarah watched Tuvok place his long, dark fingers on either side of Tom's pale face. She well knew the risks of a mind meld even under normal circumstances. In this instance, there was no telling what kind of damage might be done to either Tom or Tuvok. She felt herself tense and closed her own eyes as Tuvok closed his. _If only I could take that horrible vision away from him before he gets hurt again… _She concentrated as hard as she could, not sure what she hoped to accomplish.

Suddenly, she felt that familiar tingling sensation of lightness that accompanied the resurfacing of her abilities. This time, however, instead of fighting it and being afraid, she embraced it. _Let me help Tom…let me help Tuvok…_

Her wishes were granted.

Behind her eyelids, she saw a vision in black and white, like one of those ancient movies. A woman she recognized as Lidell from the visions she had garnered from Harry was embracing Tom. "Tolen!" she exclaimed.

From Sarah's point of view, a man's voice angrily said, "Now I understand."

"I better be on my way," Tom said, pushing away from Lidell.

"You don't have to go, Tom. He's got no right."

"No right? This is my home. You come into my home and steal my wife, and I have no right?" It was rather disconcerting to see something literally through another's eyes.

"That's not the way it happened," Tom insisted.

"We'll see what your captain has to say about this. When I'm finished with you, you'll never wear that uniform again," answered Tolen, furious.

"I can't let you do that," came Tom's response, and he grabbed a knife and went after Tolen.

"No, Tom, don't! Stop, no!" Lidell yelled.

Sarah watched in horror as Tolen, from her perspective, was stabbed. It looked as though the knife was being plunged into her own stomach. As Tolen collapsed, dead, she came out of the vision.

She found she was shaking and her head was aching fit to burst. She had an arm unconsciously wrapped protectively around her middle as she slowly lowered herself to the floor. Once sitting, she couldn't help from letting out a laugh. "I did it, Tom!"

As her mother and Kes hurried to her side, she heard the Doctor exclaiming, "There's no neurological damage at all. Did you actually see the murder? Did the meld work?"

"Yes," Tuvok answered. "I do not understand what was different this time…"

"What did you do, Sarah?" her mother was asking.

"I took the cycle from Tom. I was a…filter, I guess. I took the neurological stress on myself and let the image go through to Tom and Tuvok." She looked up at the Doctor. "They're ok, right?"

"Yes, they're both fine…" He still looked very puzzled.

"How?" Kathryn asked gently, a hand on either one of her daughter's shoulders.

Sarah shared a smile with Kes. "My gifts. I was actually able to make them work for me this time."

"Captain," Tuvok said urgently. "I must consult with Ensign Kim immediately."

Captain Janeway helped her daughter to her feet. "With Kim, why?"

"I assume that he has access to Professor Ren's research. I believe it will explain not only why Lieutenant Paris has been accused of a murder he did not commit but also why the Numiri chose to attack us."

Several minutes later, Kathryn contacted the Banean Minister and Chief Medical Officer via her ready room's portable computer. "His condition has continued to deteriorate. He'll have serious brain damage if the implants are not removed," she told the image of the two men.

The minister looked concerned. "We are not a barbaric people, Captain. This was meant as punishment, not torture." He turned to the Banean doctor. "I see no alternative but to remove the implants, do you?"

"There is no legal precedent of course, but we can petition the courts immediately," the doctor answered.

"I cannot assure that you'll find an alternative sentence more to your liking," the Banean Minister warned Captain Janeway.

She looked at him determinedly. "We're still committed to proving his innocence, minister."

"When do you intend to return him to our custody?"

"Due to the nature of his condition, we're concerned that our transporting device might cause further medical complications, so we're sending him back by shuttlecraft. They'll leave this ship in one hour."

"I'll make the necessary preparations," the Banean doctor replied before the visual link ended.

Kathryn looked up at Tuvok who had been listening to the conversation unseen. She nodded once and he nodded back.

Sarah joined her mother on the bridge as the shuttle launched from _Voyager_. It was all she could do to keep from squirming in anticipation. _We have them now…_ She sat on the ledge beside Chakotay's chair, as Neelix was seated beside her mother.

"Numiri patrol approaching. Bearing 067 mark 24," Tuvok reported.

"Red alert. On screen," Kathryn said calmly.

"Range 100,000 kilometres and closing. They're changing course, captain."

Chakotay sounded impressed as he remarked, "They're going straight for the shuttle, just as you said they would, lieutenant."

Sarah listened intently as her mother instructed Tom and Harry in the shuttlecraft to offer no resistance to the Numiri, even when they locked a tractor beam onto the shuttle.

Tom and Harry watched as a group of Numiri that had boarded the shuttle came onto their equivalent of a bridge. The lead Numiri looked down at a small device and then looked up at Tom, saying, "He's the one."

The two Starfleet officers exchanged a look right before they were beamed off the shuttle.

Captain Janeway ordered a channel opened to the Numiri. "This is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation starship _Voyager_. You have illegally seized one of our shuttlecraft," she said in a firm tone.

The rather ugly Numiri captain appeared on _Voyager_'s viewscreen. "I warned you that you were entering a war zone at your own risk."

"Yes, we appreciated that warning and took appropriate precautions. If you read the sensor readouts in front of you, you will see the shuttle is carrying 40 tons of thalmerite explosives, enough to destroy your ship. I'm prepared to detonate those explosives in 30 seconds if you do not release our vessel. End transmission."

Tom and Harry entered the bridge just as Chakotay reported, "The shuttle's being released. The Numiri ship is withdrawing."

"Tractor the shuttle and take us into low orbit. Cancel red alert. Mr. Paris, how soon before your next cycle?" Kathryn asked.

"Seven hours," was Tom's answer.

"That should be enough time to clear this up. Mr. Tuvok, this is your show now."

"With your permission, I would like to invite all interested parties to the scene of the murder in 2 hours," the Vulcan man replied.

"I'll invite the Minister myself."

Sarah could no longer contain herself and ran over to Tom. He caught her up in a hug. "Thank you, Shadow."

"You're welcome." Her soul felt lighter than it had in weeks. "Tuvok has this all figured out. Everything's going to be fine now."

Tom set her back on the ground and held his hand out to her. "Shall we?"

She grinned and placed her hand in his by way of an answer.

After they beamed down, Sarah entered the Rens' living room along with her mother, Harry, Tuvok, and Tom. The Banean Minister, the Banean doctor, and Mrs. Ren all looked rather shocked to see her there. "Who is this child?" the minister demanded to know.

"This is my daughter, Sarah," Kathryn calmly explained. "She was instrumental in sorting out this mess."

_I only played a small part, _Sarah thought, but something in her mother's face kept her from voicing this particular thought. She then followed Tom and Harry to stand by the wall. Her mother signaled to her from where she sat in a large, comfortable red chair, but Sarah declined the offer for the chair with a shake of her head. She wanted to be near Tom until everything was officially fixed.

After everyone else had found a place to sit, Tuvok began his explanation by simply stating, "Lieutenant Paris was not the man Professor Ren saw before he was murdered."

"Not the man?" the minister asked. "But it was clearly established at the trial."

"It is true Paris' image was seen in the memories examined during the trial. However, that is because someone altered the engrams from Professor Ren's brain."

The Banean doctor held up a hand and shook his head. "But that simply isn't possible for this procedure."

"I would suggest, sir, that there is no such thing as a technology that is entirely safe from tampering."

Lidell broke in as she adjusted the straps of her bright white layered tank top type dress. "You're forgetting one thing: I was here and I saw him do it."

"On the contrary, I've not forgotten your statement, Mrs. Ren. However, I now know it is clearly false."

"Just what was in that tea you gave me, Lidell?" Tom interrupted.

"Hold on," the Banean Minister said. "Is this just idle speculation or do you have some evidence?"

"Mr. Paris, would you please stand next to Mrs. Ren?" Tuvok requested.

Lidell interjected, "What for?"

"If you wouldn't mind," Tuvok repeated, somewhat more firmly.

Reluctantly, Lidell rose to her feet and met Paris in the middle of the room.

"The man Professor Ren observed with his wife was virtually equal in height to her. Clearly, Lieutenant Paris is several centimeters taller."

"How do you know what my husband saw?" Lidell demanded.

"Vulcans have the ability to meld telepathically with another's mind. I observed your husband's memories as Lieutenant Paris went through his cycle. I watched as the killer stabbed Professor Ren, right here," he demonstrated on his chest. "Through the intercostal space between the eighth and ninth right ribs, the exact location of the Banean heart. The killer clearly knew Banean anatomy. Lieutenant Paris did not."

"Are we supposed to take your word for all of this?" the Banean doctor said dismissively.

"There is additional evidence. For example, we can now say for certain that Professor Ren was murdered by a Numiri agent."

The Banean Minister erupted at that. "What?!?"

Tuvok turned to Tom. "Lieutenant, did you notice the stream of symbols and numbers that were superimposed on the images?"

Tom looked thoughtful for a moment. "Symbols? Well, yeah, I guess I did. I didn't know what they meant. I thought they were just part of the procedure."

Tuvok turned back to address everyone. "In researching this procedure I found no other reference to this phenomenon. I have now confirmed that these symbols and numbers were equations taken from Professor Ren's weapons research. Someone intended them to be delivered to the Numiri."

The minister was shaking his head, trying to digest all of this. "You're saying someone tried to use his brain to send secret data to our enemy?"

"He was a logical courier. The Numiri agents knew he could leave the planet surface without raising suspicion. The Numiri made two attempts to gain access to Mr. Paris. They attacked just after he returned to Voyager, and then again when he was in the shuttle."

Kathryn Janeway spoke up for the first since Tuvok had begun his explanation. "Someone on the surface had to be informing the Numiri of Lieutenant Paris' movements."

"Do you know who did this?" the minister asked, still rather shocked.

"You knew when Mr. Paris would be in transit, minister," Tuvok replied. "The doctor is the one who encouraged you to release him to our custody. He is also the one who performed the implant procedure. I know of no one else who had the opportunity and knowledge to carry out this plan."

Everyone was now looking at the Banean doctor who appeared rather flustered and irritated. "I'm not going to listen to any of this."

The minister stopped him as he got up and was about to walk out, saying coolly, "I really would like you to listen, doctor."

"Please stand again, Mrs. Ren," Tuvok said.

Lidell grudgingly did as he asked and stood next to the doctor.

Sarah felt a smile cross her face. The two of them were nearly the same height.

"So we're the same height," the doctor added crossly. "It proves nothing. I never saw this woman prior to the death of her husband. I was never in this house before today."

"You forget the other witness who was here on the night of the murder, doctor," Tuvok replied. "Would you mind asking her to come in?"

With a confused look on his face, the Banean doctor did so, moving past the two Banean guards who had accompanied the minister. He opened the door.

Neeka scampered inside, whining and jumping on her hind legs and pawing to greet the doctor.

Captain Janeway and the Banean Minister leaned forward in surprise to get a better look at what was transpiring.

Tuvok tipped his head to one side and stated simply, "It appears that you are no stranger to Neeka, doctor."

The room seemed to explode. Lidell made a mad a dash for the door. In the ensuing chaos, the doctor twisted away from the Banean guards and darted over to where Tom, Harry, and Sarah were standing. In a split second, he darted his hand out and grabbed Sarah's hair, pulling her close to him and exposing her neck.

Sarah had no time to react as the Banean doctor roughly jerked her around. Suddenly, she saw a flash of silver in his hand.

It took a second for her mind to realize that it was a knife—a knife with a rust-colored stain on the razor-sharp blade. The handle was definitely familiar.

It was the same knife used to murder Professor Ren.

And now Sarah could feel its cold, cruel blade held tightly against her quivering throat. She was pretty sure she heard her mother gasp, but she couldn't see much of anything. She felt her heart racing in fearful anxiety as the man who restrained her snarled, "Everybody back off or the girl gets her throat slit."

Time seemed to stand still. All she could hear was her own nervous breathing and the frantic thumping of her heart.

Then, suddenly, everything seemed to explode for a second time. She heard the impact of a fist and the Banean doctor went flying, taking her with him and causing the blade to dig into her neck. She felt the metal split skin and the warm ooze of blood. Before she could even try to free herself, her mother came running over. Desperate to protect her child, she put herself in harm's way, instinctively going for the weapon that threatened Sarah. She forced his arm to the floor and twisted his wrist, making him gasp in pain. The knife dropped to the carpet and she kicked it away.

Still stunned, she watched as Tom hurried over. He forced the man's hand to let go of the her hair and then picked her up and took her away from where her mother was now restraining her attacker. One of the Banean guards dashed over and took the doctor into custody, while the other kept a hold on Lidell.

Relieved of her prisoner, Kathryn Janeway rushed to her daughter. Tom placed the small girl in her mother's arms.

"Sarah, are you all right?" Kathryn asked, her voice shaking. She kissed the top of her daughter's head.

Suddenly fully realizing what had just happened, Sarah began to cry and shiver.

"Shh, shh, it's ok. I'm here." Her mother gently tipped her chin up to look at the cut on her neck. Tom came to her side and looked at the injury.

"Nothing a dermal regenerator can't fix," he said with a smile.

Embarrassed, Sarah hiccupped and wiped at her eyes. "I'm sorry…I was just…really scared."

"It's ok to be scared," Kathryn murmured into her daughter's hair.

"Everyone's safe now, though," replied Sarah, managing a smile. "Everyone's safe. Who hit him, by the way?"

"I did," Tom replied. "You saved me—I was just returning the favor." He smiled at the small girl and she smiled back.

From the door, Lidell, restrained by one of the guards, yelled, "He lied to me, Tom. No one was supposed to get hurt. You know I could never do anything to hurt you!"

Tom's face was stony. "Yeah, you could."

The guards escorted their two prisoners out of the room. The Banean Minister addressed both the captain and Tom. "I must apologize. This should never have happened. The implants will, of course, be removed immediately."

They nodded. "Thank you minister."

Sarah rested her head on her mother's shoulder and closed her eyes. _Everything's right again. Everything is the way it should be._

Author's Note: Once more, I apologize for the lateness of this update. Reviews are greatly appreciated. Thank you!


	13. Prime Factors

_Disclaimer: All characters, vessels, science, and the original plot belong to Paramount with the exception of Sarah Janeway, the new parts of the plot, and anything else that I made up._

Author's Note: I can't believe how long it's been: over a _year_ since I updated this story. Wow. I am _so _sorry. That being said, this update is definitely not my best work, but I wanted to get something out for you to read. You guys are the greatest and I figured I'd kept you waiting long enough. I'm going to do some serious re-working of this story to hopefully create better plotlines and characters and make it easier to update sooner. Thanks for staying with me.

Enjoy!

* * *

_Anomaly_

_'Prime Factors'_

Sarah sat eating breakfast with her mother and Tuvok in the Mess Hall. From where their table was positioned, she could see and hear a lively conversation taking place between B'Elanna, Seska, Tom, and Harry, a few tables away.

"What?" B'Elanna innocently asked Seska.

"I've seen that look before. Ensign Murphy had better watch out," Seska replied knowingly.

"I happen to know that Murphy is seeing one of the Delaney sisters."

"Not since Harry and Tom Paris made their move."

"Harry? And the Delaney sisters? Ha, he would've told me."

Seska shrugged. "I guess there are some things he keeps to himself."

Skeptically, B'Elanna turned to face Harry at the table behind them. "Harry? Is it true about you and the Delaney sisters?"

"Is what true?" he asked.

"Come on, Harry, there aren't any secrets on a ship this small," Seska teased, resting her head on one hand.

Harry turned to Tom, exasperated. "What've you been telling people?"

"Well, we did take that trip to Venice with them," Tom replied, smiling.

"The holodeck? You gotta be kidding. That lasted all of fifteen minutes!"

"Yeah, you know, I've been meaning to ask you," Tom said, looking both curious and amused. "What happened when you and Jenny Delaney disappeared in that gondola?"

"Nothing," Harry replied insistently.

"Harry, we're your friends. You can tell us," B'Elanna coaxed.

"Nothing. We talked, and then…I fell over the side."

Seska and B'Elanna burst into laughter while Tom winced.

"You 'fell out' of the gondola?" Seska asked, still laughing.

Tom looked highly amused. "I think maybe Harry wasn't quite prepared for how voracious Jenny Delaney can be."

Sarah smiled to see everyone having a good time. When she looked up, she saw that her mother was also watching the friendly banter with a smile on her face.

"I think it's finally beginning to happen," Kathryn Janeway said. "Both crews getting along."

Her daughter nodded happily and dunked some more pieces of peach, pineapple, and banana into her strawberry yogurt before popping them in her mouth.

"That kind of bonding should improve performance and maximize efficiency," Tuvok replied, sitting off to Sarah's right.

The little girl felt a grin spread across her face while her mother tried to hide her own smile behind her coffee cup. "Yes, I'm sure it will," the captain said.

A comm signal sounded. "Bridge to Captain Janeway," came Chakotay's voice.

"Go ahead," she replied.

"Captain, we're receiving a distress call in one of the lower subspace bands."

"I'm on my way."

Sarah quickly drained her glass of milk and followed her mother, Tuvok, and the other senior officers out of the mess hall.

When the turbolift stopped at the bridge, she scurried out behind the senior officers and took her place on the ledge beside the captain's chair.

Her mother strode up to Chakotay. "Report, Commander."

He turned to face her as he replied, "The subspace distress signal is coming from a vessel bearing 125 mark 21, distance: 200,000 kilometers."

"Captain, sensors indicate five lifeforms aboard," Harry Kim reported from the Ops station.

On the opposite side of the bridge, Tuvok added, "The vessel is altering its course to intercept us."

From her vantage point, Sarah could see a small grey alien spacecraft with four glowing arms on the viewscreen. Dozens of scenarios that would warrant a distress call raced through her head and she idly wondered if something would happen that would make her abilities resurface.

"Go to yellow alert and slow to impulse. Hail them, Mr. Kim," her mother was ordering.

"Aye captain."

"This is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager. What is the nature of your emergency?"

Not one of the scenarios she imagined could have prepared her for what happened next.

A very relaxed-looking man with grayish hair and an odd hairpiece made up of multiple, thin loops of something now filled the screen. "We have no emergency," he replied with an easy smile.

_Is this a trap?_, Sarah wondered.

"But you're sending out a distress call," Kathryn replied.

"Yes, we are."

"Why?"

"Because **you** are in distress."

Kathryn turned and exchanged a puzzled look with her first officer.

The alien man smiled again. "I am Gathorel Labin of the planet Sikaris. Please, let us welcome you to our system, show you the hospitality of our people."

Still somewhat confused, the captain began, "That's very kind of you…"

"If I could come aboard your ship," he interrupted. "I have gifts for you, and a proposal I hope you will find irresistible."

The offer still had everyone thrown a little off-guard after meeting so many Delta Quadrant species that had opened relations by firing at them.

After several seconds, Kathryn replied, "Mr. Tuvok, make the necessary arrangements to receive our guest." The tactical officer nodded and stepped into the turbolift as she smiled at their soon-to-be guest.

Several minutes later, Sarah, her mother, Tuvok, and the Sikarian man were gathered in the Mess Hall where Neelix and Kes were working in the kitchen. Sarah sniffed the air in anticipation. Whatever the man had in the container he was carrying, it smelled delicious.

"Mr. Labin, it really isn't necessary to go to all this trouble," Kathryn said.

"Please. Call me Gath. And I promise you I would like nothing better than to prepare a few of our newest delicacies for you. Ah, this will be perfect." He removed two plates from the container he had.

Sarah pushed a chair from one of the tables up to counter next to her mother and stood on the seat so she could see what was going on.

"Ah, Captain, I'm serving lunch in less that two hours," Neelix spoke up hesitantly, eyeing their guest.

"We won't be long, Neelix. This is Mr.— This is Gath," she said with a smile. "He's from Sikaris."

Neelix's face lit up with recognition. "Oooh! Sikaris!"

"Do you know the planet?" Kathryn rested her elbows on the counter.

"Er, only stories about their incredible hospitality."

Gath proffered a plate containing greens, some kind of orange vegetables, and pieces of some kind of meat. Kathryn, Sarah, Kes, and Neelix all helped themselves to a little of everything.

Her mouth watering at the delicious smells the food items were creating, Sarah nibbled off small pieces of everything. The orange vegetable, which somewhat resembled a small potato, had a spicy-sweet flavor that she was surprised to find she liked. The asparagus look-alike was deliciously crunchy with a liquid core that tasted a little like cauliflower. The meat was tender and dark and had been cooked in something comparable to butter. Satisfied that everything was as delicious as it smelled, she finished off everything she had taken.

"Tell me, how do you know about us?" Kathryn was asking.

"Our people are very well traveled. Some of them have brought back stories about the ship of aliens from another part of the galaxy—people lost and alone, struggling to find their way home again.

"This is wonderful," her mother said as she sampled some of the offerings.

"I agree," Sarah piped up.

Gath smiled at the two of them. "It must be especially difficult for a young child to be so far from home."

"It can be," she admitted.

"Well, after hearing these stories, I decided to come and meet you and offer you respite."

"Respite?" Tuvok asked, speaking up for the first time.

"A vacation, if you will," their guest replied. "Get away from the confines of the ship, enjoy the beauty of our landscape, meet and talk with interesting learned people."

Sarah felt herself tense in anticipation and she realized with a jolt that she hadn't set foot off of _Voyager _in about a month.

"And the crew would certainly welcome a little shore leave, captain," Kes spoke up in her soft voice.

_Yes, we would, _Sarah thought, trying to keep a grin off her face.

"And I hear the Sikarians have a huge variety of edible plants. If we could collect some seeds, we'd expand our selection significantly."

_Say yes, say yes, say yes, say yes, say yes, _the young girl chanted under her breath. _Say yes!_

Kathryn assumed a half-serious look as she turned to Tuvok. "Sounds like all this would 'increase performance and maximize efficiency', don't you think, Mr. Tuvok?"

"Indeed," came his reply.

"Well, Gath, looks like you're getting visitors. We'll set a course and follow you in."

"Yes!" This time, Sarah couldn't keep herself from shouting it out loud and grinning ear-to-ear.

Kathryn, Kes, Neelix, and Gath all chuckled appreciatively and Kathryn gave her daughter a hug.

"I could not be happier," Gath replied, his face as happy as Sarah's.

Sarah could hardly believe her eyes when they finally beamed down. The public area that Gath led them to was made entirely of a beautiful white stone that had an instant calming effect. There were sets of steps made of white and light brown stone leading to various levels, a glowing circular platform in the center of the area, a few curved stone benches, and some sculptures made of metal and draped with cloth. _Voyager_'screwmembers wandered in out of the place, talking and laughing with Sikarians.

Sarah stood with her mother, Gath, and a Sikarian woman at a stall that offered fabric.

"If you see anything you like, just let me know," Gath said happily.

As Sarah ran her fingers over a particular piece of cloth, her mother examined a length of a different type of fabric.

"What is this material? It's so delicate," Kathryn asked, surprised.

"Exquisite, isn't it?" Gath replied, clearly delighted. "It's the latest import from Dedestris. It's spun from the petals of a flower that blooms only in moonlight. Shall I have a dress made for you?"

The captain seemed a little overwhelmed by his generosity. "It's lovely but, no, thank you."

"Is it so hard for you to accept a gift?"

She wavered. "Well…all right, but something small. Maybe a scarf?"

"What a curious people you are. Tell me, would it help if I said that you could have an entire wardrobe made from these beautiful fabrics and that it would give all of us pleasure to create it for you?"

Sarah rubbed a length of gossamer fabric between her fingers. It was beautiful, made up of shades of blue fading into white, and so light it almost appeared to float. It had an incredibly silky texture that felt wonderful against her skin.

"I…I wouldn't mind having a dress made of this—if it's not too much trouble," she spoke up, somewhat hesitantly, holding out her selection. She also wasn't used to people being so generous.

Gath smiled widely at her. "It would be no trouble at all! We would so much enjoy making a beautiful dress for a beautiful little girl." He winked at her.

Sarah blushed a little at his compliment and shyly smiled back.

"Now if we could just get your mother to accept such a gift from us." He looked at the captain in a semi-teasing manner.

Kathryn looked at Gath, and then at her daughter. "Let's…start with the scarf," she said with a smile.

"As you like. Which cloth do you prefer?" To Sarah, he added, "Go with Ihrea here and she'll take your measurements for that dress."

Beaming like it was Christmas and her birthday at once, Sarah, replied with an enthusiastic, "Ok!" and followed the Sikarian woman out of the central area.

"Be good," Kathryn called after her daughter.

"I will!" she called back. She let herself skip along. It had been so long since she stood on the firm ground of a planet, she found it hard to get used to the fact that the surface beneath her feet wouldn't suddenly shift as they were attacked or the engines failed.

"Here we are," Ihrea said with a smile as they ducked through a doorway. Inside was even more fabric and other materials for making clothes. Sarah barely had time to register the dizzying array of cloth, ribbon, decorative accents, and changing stalls with shimmery curtains for doors, before she was surrounded by a group of women.

"Oh, how sweet!"

"She's adorable!"

"Look at her little uniform!"

"What a gorgeous little girl!"

"Where did she come from, Ihrea?"

"Give her some room, ladies," Ihrea laughed, making shooing motions. She placed her hands on the child's shoulders and introduced her. "This is Sarah Janeway, the daughter of Captain Janeway of the starship _Voyager_."

"The lost ship?"

"The one that's years away from home?"

"That must be so difficult for someone so young!"

Sarah was really blushing at this point. She couldn't see why they were making such a big fuss over her.

"The reason she's here," Ihrea interjected. "Is to get measured for a dress."

"Oh, how wonderful!"

"I'll get the measuring devices!"

Before she knew it, she was standing on a raised platform in the middle of the room and all the women were taking various measurements of her and asking lots of questions.

"Is it hard to live on starship and be so far from home?"

"Sometimes, but I have my mother and I have lots of friends on the crew."

"What do you think: sleeveless, short sleeves, or long sleeves?"

"Short, please."

"What do you think of Sikaris so far?"

"It's **wonderful**!"

"Which type of dress do you like best?" One woman held up a portable computer that displayed several samples.

Sarah considered her choices. After a minute or so of thought, she pointed. "I think that one."

"An excellent choice!"

"Are there other children on the ship?"

"No, just me."

"That must get lonely at times."

She hadn't considered it before, being generally more comfortable around adults. "I guess it does, sometimes…"

Ihrea looked thoughtful for a minute, and then announced. "We have all the measurements we need now. You can head back to your mother, if you like."

"Thank you very much," Sarah replied, stepping down from the platform. "I really appreciate your generosity."

A chorus of "You're welcome!" and "It's no trouble—we're happy to do it!" followed her out the door. She still had no idea why they had made such big deal over her, but she had to admit it was sort of nice.

Kathryn looked over the fabric selection as she waited for Sarah to return. There were many nice patterns and textures, but she continually found herself being drawn back to the first fabric she had looked at. It was diaphanous and colored a soft blend of brown and grey. "Oh, I think this one," she finally told their host.

Gath shocked her by placing a hand on her arm and sliding it up to her shoulder in a too-familiar manner. "When I see you wearing that scarf, my pleasure will be greater than yours."

She felt herself tense up, but tried to remove herself diplomatically. "Well, I should get back. But with your permission, I'd like to start organizing teams to gather plants and seeds."

With his free hand, Gath gestured to another man standing behind him. "This is my associate, Jaret Otel. You may contact him to make any necessary arrangements."

Jaret was much younger than Gath, with medium brown hair and dark brown eyes. "We'll be glad to assist you in any way, captain," he said helpfully, smiling.

"I'll find my officers and we'll return to the ship," Kathryn said as smiled in acknowledgement to Jaret. She tried not to squirm away from Gath's touch, much as he was making her uncomfortable.

"Tonight we are having a celebration here. I hope you and your officers will be my guests." Gath still had a hand on her shoulder, as if he wouldn't let her leave unless she agreed.

With exaggerated excitement, she replied, "We'd be delighted." He finally let go of her shoulder and let her move away.

"It's settled then. We'll see you tonight."

She half-faked a smile and nodded, still uneasy, as he and Jaret headed out of the common area.

Sarah had come around the corner in time to see Gath slide his hand up her mother's arm and onto her shoulder. She stood where she was, partially hidden, eyes wide in surprise, as she watched him practically hold her where she was. They talked for a minute, her mother looking rather uncomfortable, until they agreed on something and Gath finally let go. Her mother backed away from the fabric stall as their host and his companion moved off.

She counted silently to twenty before she approached her mother, not wanting her to think that she had been spying. "Hi mama!" she said with all the enthusiasm she could muster.

"Sarah!" Kathryn's face lit up and every trace of the discomfort she had felt disappeared. She gathered her daughter in her arms and hugged her close. "How did it go?"

"Great!"

"Good, good…"

"Mama, is something wrong? You look distracted."

Kathryn smiled at her. "No, everything's fine. We've been invited to be guests at a Sikarian celebration tonight." She set her daughter gently on the ground and took her hand. "Let's gather up the rest of the crew so we can work some things out before the celebration."

* * *

Back on board _Voyager_, they had a very serious discussion.

"No, you can't," Sarah was insisting.

"Sarah, it's not a big deal."

"No one else is going to do it."

"How do you know?"

"I've talked to everyone that's going down. You'll stick out if you do."

Kathryn sighed and held up the brown striped shirt and jumper-style dress her daughter had picked out for her. "I still think it would be better to wear my uniform."

Sarah rolled her eyes. "Mama, that's **all **you've been wearing for the past month. This is a **party**. Dress down a little."

The captain looked at her reflection in the mirror a while longer before she gave in. "All right, all right…because you insist."

Her daughter smiled. "Thank you!"

With a laugh and a shake of her head, Kathryn headed off to change her outfit.

Right before they were to beam back down, she made a quick log entry. "Captain's log, stardate 48642.5. The crew is enjoying an evening on Sikaris. They are discovering, to their delight, that reports of this species' hospitality have not been exaggerated."

Sarah stood at the doorway of their quarters, impatient. "Come **on**, mama. Everyone else already left!"

"All right, all right, I'm coming." But she couldn't help but smile. She had been afraid her daughter was becoming too used to being on a starship and she was glad to see her so enthusiastic about going planet-side.

Upon returning to the Sikarian public area, the two of them were greeted by Ihrea and Gath.

"It's so good to see you again! We have a wonderful evening planned for you," Gath said. Turning to Sarah, he added, "And we have a surprise for you, young lady. Ihrea?"

The Sikarian woman smiled. "Your dress is finished."

Sarah felt a delighted smile break over her face. "Really? Already?"

Ihrea nodded. "Come with me—you can wear it now, if you like."

She nodded, excited, and followed her back to the dress shop.

Kathryn and Gath made small talk for a minute or two before Ihrea reappeared, hiding Sarah behind her. "Here she is," she announced.

Sarah shyly stepped out from behind the Sikarian seamstress. Her mother gasped and Gath applauded.

The dress was about ankle-length, with soft layers of the blue-white material making up the skirt. The top half was fitted and had nearly transparent short sleeves. A row of small, blue-white gems dotted the waist. In addition, the Sikarians had given her a pair of white slip-on shoes, not unlike her ballet flats. Someone had pulled her hair into a higher ponytail than usual and made it into dozens of strands of ringlet curls, all secured by a round, glittering silver comb.

"Sarah, you look gorgeous!" Kathryn exclaimed.

Sarah grinned shyly and twirled in place, making the skirt billow out and float. She felt like a fairy princess. _I'm glad I accepted. _

Suddenly, Sarah heard running feet and loud, laughing voices. Voices that seemed familiar, yet distant… She turned and stopped, startled.

A group of around twenty-five Sikarian children came running into view, joking, laughing and tossing a ball back and forth. The group was made up of both boys and girls, ranging in age from about five to nine, and they were dressed in what appeared to be play clothes.

With a start, she realized it had also been a month since she had seen other children.

The group stopped when they spotted her, then came running over. They were all trying to noisily introduce themselves at once when Ihrea called for quiet.

"Sarah, I felt badly when you told me there were no other children on board your ship. These children are all from nearby families that I know. They're going to play in the sports field, and you're welcome to join them." She smiled and brought a small pile of clothes from behind her back. "We made you a set of play clothes, too."

Sarah couldn't think for a minute. "I…I…don't know…" It had been a month since she'd been around someone her own age, and she'd never really been one for sports. She felt awkward.

Kathryn gave her daughter a gentle nudge towards the group of kids. "Go ahead Sarah. Sounds like fun." Leaning in, she whispered, "_And it'll be good for you._"

She looked up at her mother, and then back at the kids, and then at Ihrea, who was still smiling and holding out the play clothes.

"Ok…" she finally said, still with some trepidation as she accepted the clothes from Ihrea.

The effect of that one word was explosive. The group of children started yelling happily, her mother called out to her to be careful and to behave herself, and a little girl who was probably just a year older than Sarah darted forward and grabbed her hand and started pulling her away from the center. "Oh, good!" she said in a loud happy voice. "We always have one less girl on our team. Now we'll be even! I'm Eiris, and I'm five revolutions old. What's your name? How old are you? Do you really live on a starship all the time? Is it weird? Is your mother really the captain? What do you do for fun if you're stuck on a ship?"

Sarah found herself a little overwhelmed as the group hurried out of the city towards the country where the sports field was located. Eiris was firing questions at her without giving her any time to respond and at the same time she was practically dragging her along by the wrist. She knew it was normal behavior for a kid, but she wasn't used to it at all.

"Um, I'm Sarah," she replied when Eiris stopped to take a breath. "I'm four, and yes, I really live on a starship all the time. I don't think it's weird anymore. I'm used to it now. My mother is really the captain. There's lots to do on _Voyager_: read, use the Holodeck, draw, visit my friends, stuff like that."

"That sounds really cool," another child spoke up from behind her. She turned to see that it was a boy with messy, curly tan hair. "I'm Rathan, and I'm five too."

She smiled at him.

By now, they had reached the sports field. It was a huge, well-cared-for rectangular field bordered by several dozen tiny silver posts strung with thin white rope. Immediately, the group of children ran screaming onto it and began tossing a ball back and forth.

Sarah stood at the edge of the field uncertainly, holding her little bundle of play clothes. Rathan paused as he was about to join the others.

"What are you waiting for?"

"Um…Where do I change my clothes? And, uh, how do you play this?"

"Oh, sorry." He smiled and pointed to a little grey building on the far side of the field. "You can change there and when you come back I can show you."

"Thank you, Rathan!" she called over her shoulder.

It took her only two minutes to make use of the small, simple, but functional facilities and rejoin the others. When she arrived, they had begun to divide themselves into two teams. Eiris and Rathan quickly claimed her for theirs and began filling her in on the object and the rules, speaking in such a rush that Sarah had to really pay attention to make sure she got everything.

When Eiris finally finished and breathlessly asked, "Got it?", Sarah had to answer her honestly.

"Maybe," she replied without much certainty.

"Great! You're going to love this! It's so much fun!" Eiris squealed. "READY!" she yelled.

The game explosively began. Uheiss, as it was called, was an incredibly fast-paced and fairly complicated sport that, as best as Sarah could describe it, resembled a combination of Earth soccer, basketball, tag, and croquet. Some of the more interesting rules included the fact that before a team could score, the ball had to be rolled through a tunnel made by all the team members' legs and the fact that the four goals on each side were not allowed to be guarded but a player _could _run over at the last second to stop the other team from scoring.

Sarah began playing, still confused and afraid to do something wrong that would cost her team points, and at first hung back quite a bit. But after she was the only one to spot a cleverly sneaky attempt by the other team to score in one of the goals and subsequently dove to block it, succeeded, and came up covered in dirt and plant matter and heard her team cheering wildly for her, she shook off all her inhibitions and played her heart out. She raced around the field with the others, blocking, scoring, passing, tagging, and occasionally screaming out of sheer happiness.

When the game finally ended a few hours later, Sarah collapsed on the ground out of utter exhaustion with the rest of the children. She was filthy, sore, worn out, breathless…and giddy. She hadn't had that much fun with others in a long, long time, and it had nothing to do with her team's narrow victory.

"Wow, that was fun," Sarah gasped from where she lay spread-eagled. She pulled her sleeveless top away from body and let it go several times, trying to cool herself off.

From a few feet away, Eiris responded with a giggle. "I know!! Hey, the stars are coming out. Can you stay for a while?"

"Sure!" she quickly replied.

Some of the group left for their respective homes, but about half stayed to look at the stars. They 'oohed' and 'ahhed' over their brightness and pointed out constellations to one another.

"It's so different from Earth's night sky," Sarah mused aloud.

Rathan rolled onto his side and propped himself up on one elbow so he could see her. "That's your home planet?"

"Mmmhmm. 70,000 lightyears from here."

He paused for a second before he asked cautiously, "What's it like?"

Sarah turned her face towards him. "Earth?"

"Yeah."

She faced the heavens above once more and tucked her arms behind her head. _What's Earth like?_, she thought to herself. _How do you describe a totally alien planet to someone? _Then she realized Earth wasn't merely a planet—it had been her home, a place where she'd lived for four whole years.

So she told him. She told him of the enormous oceans, the deep forests, the scorching deserts, the freezing tundras. She told him of the incredible variety of shapes, sizes, colors, and cultural heritages of Earth's citizens. Things that had seemed commonplace when she was still on Earth took on new significance out in the Delta Quadrant. She did her best to paint vivid word pictures for her newfound Sikarian friends. They hung on her every word, and, as she talked, she found herself not just describing things but recalling her favorite memories. She caught her voice catching once or twice as she related some of her favorites.

_Am I homesick?_, she silently asked herself in surprise. _I thought Voyager was my home now…_

By the time she started running out of things to say, only Eiris, Rathan, herself, and three other children remained of the large group that had been there earlier.

"Wow, it's really late," Sarah said in surprise as she stood up and futilely attempted to brush some of the dirt from her shorts. "I'd better get back. My mother's going to be wondering where I am."

"I'm glad you could play with us!" Eiris called as she headed off towards her home with the three others. "Goodbye! Good luck on getting back to Earth!"

Sarah waved them off and then turned to Rathan. "I guess you'll be heading home too."

"Well…" he replied slowly. "I was…I was, uh, kinda thinking…I could maybe walk you back to the center."

"Sure," Sarah smiled. "If you want to."

He nodded quickly. "I do want to."

"Ok then. Let's go."

Sarah and Rathan slowly made their way back to the center, walking along the pathways in near darkness that were occasionally softly lit by the glow of light orbs on poles. They talked a little more. Sarah learned that Rathan had two older brothers and a baby sister and that he lived with not only his siblings and his parents, but also both sets of grandparents. She learned that Uheiss was his second-favorite activity, next to painting. She learned that he loved mathematics and history and that he was learning to play a musical instrument. She told him about her own lessons in piano and they chatted about music the rest of the way to the center.

They were on a pathway and just around the corner from the center when Rathan reached out and grabbed her arm. Surprised, Sarah came to a stop and looked at him. "Is something wrong?"

"Nooo…" he replied haltingly.

"What is it?"

"Will you be back?"

"I really don't know. I know we all want to stay for a few days, but if something happens we might leave sooner. And besides, we have a long way to go."

Rathan nodded and looked at his feet for a moment. He looked back up and blurted out, "I really like you, Sarah."

Before she could formulate a response to this, he did something totally unexpected.

He added in a half-whisper, "Just in case you're leaving," and suddenly leaned in and planted a gentle kiss on her cheek.

Just as quickly, he took off running back the way they had come.

Sarah stood there, stunned, for a minute. Slowly her fingers crept up to where he had kissed her, and then she laughed. Boys were the same on every planet. She tucked her rolled-up dress more securely under her arm and rounded the corner to the town center.

* * *

Kathryn had been sitting on an outdoor couch, chatting with Gath, ever since Sarah had gone off to play with the Sikarian children.

"And tomorrow night you must let me take you to the theatre," Gath was insisting.

She was about to reply when she realized how dark it was. "Oh my, I've lost all track of time. The rest of crew is gone. My daughter and I are the last ones here. I should go find her—"

Gath gently grabbed her arm as she went to get up. "She'll be fine, I promise." After a pause, he added, "I hope your having lost track of the time is because you're enjoying yourself."

"I am," Kathryn answered honestly.

Gath leaned in closer. They looked into the depths of each other's eyes as their lips moved to close the distance between them.

* * *

As Sarah came around the corner, she was greeted by the sight of her mother only inches from kissing Gath.

A hot, unfamiliar, unpleasant feeling came over her body as she watched the two of them move closer and closer, seemingly in slow motion. Just before she thought she would explode, Harry and a young Sikarian woman came rushing in, interrupting the couple. Harry was shouting excitedly about something and Kathryn and Gath, disappointed as they looked, were trying to get him to slow down and speak coherently.

The burning feeling slowly drained from her body, and as it did so she became aware of a hard, cold, heavy object in her hand. Confused, she opened her palm and found that she was clutching a large rock from the in-wall decorative rock garden to her left. She merely looked at it for a moment before she thrust it back, horrified. _I was going to throw a rock at them! What's wrong with me?!?_

Her heart pounded heavily in her chest and she leaned against the wall, panting a little, trying to still her shaking limbs. _Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it…_

When she thought she'd calmed herself sufficiently, she began to make her way, slowly, towards her mother and Harry and the two Sikarians. She came within range of them in time to hear Gath say: "—our technology. Once it's out of our control, it might fall into the hands of those who would abuse it, and our canon of laws strictly forbids that."

"But we wouldn't abuse it! Don't you see what it would mean to us?" Harry practically yelled.

"Please, don't make it more difficult for me. I don't enjoy denying you this, but our canon of laws has determined our entire system of values," Gath replied calmly. "To break one of its precepts would undermine everything we believe in. I'm sorry, but there can be no exceptions to the law."

Her mother and Harry looked incredibly disappointed. "Mama?" she asked softly.

Kathryn looked up. "Sarah."

"What's going on?"

"Come on sweetie. It's past your bedtime." She stood up and gestured towards the edge of the center, slipping her arm delicately around her small daughter's shoulders.

Sarah didn't ask again.

* * *

Instead, she woke from a sound sleep and, once her mother left for a briefing, proceeded to eavesdrop on the crewmembers, trying to discern what could have agitated the entire ship so quickly. From bits and pieces, she learned that the Sikarians had some sort of amazing technology that could cut _Voyager_'s journey home in half, but their laws wouldn't allow them to share it with the crew.

So it was all she could to do to assume a countenance of youthful ignorance while she played among the Sikarian children in the afternoon and when Gath came to their quarters in the evening to have dinner with her and her mother.

Of course, Kathryn knew that she knew. She could see it in her eyes. But she didn't seem upset.

They were halfway through dessert before the subject was broached.

"Exquisite. What did you say you call it?" Gath asked, delighted.

"Pecan pie," Kathryn smiled.

"I must have the recipe."

"I'd be happy to share it with you." She glanced at her daughter for a moment before continuing. "Gath, I want you to know I understand your reluctance to share your technology with us. We have similar restrictions. But I wondered, would it make any difference if I gave you my word that we would destroy the trajectory matrix as soon as we'd used it?"

"I know this will upset you, but I can't."

"I understand and, frankly, I suspected as much. But I have a proposal which might allow you to obey your laws and still give us what we want. Surely you could use the trajector to send us? Forty thousand light years would mean a great deal to us. And in return, we're prepared to offer you something you might enjoy."

"Oh?"

"A full library of the Federation's finest literature."

"Literature."

"Centuries of stories, new stories from diverse cultures, stories that fire the imagination." Kathryn's voice rose a little in excitement.

"You certainly know how to tempt me, captain," Gath said quietly, and he reached out and cupped her chin in his hand. Sarah felt a strange feeling creep over her again, and she quickly stared at her pie and pretended she hadn't seen. "It's certainly possible. I'll have to meet with the other Magistrates to discuss it. No one has ever made a request like that. In the meantime, I'd like to enjoy every bite of this, how did you call it?"

"Pecan pie." Her mother smiled at him, a smile Sarah had never seen before. One that made her uneasy.

"I'm going to finish my pie in my room," she said quickly, and she hurried away from the table.

* * *

Kathryn half-watched her daughter go, torn between her only child, who was clearly uncomfortable, and the first romance she had known in years. She didn't want to be selfish, but didn't she deserve happiness too? Stabbing her fork into another piece of pie, she resolved to sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk with Sarah at the first available opportunity.

* * *

Gath stayed for several hours, and his behavior seemed to indicate that he wouldn't have minded staying several more. However, Kathryn knew how fast things were moving and how confusing it must be for her four-year-old, and she sent Gath on his way right around the girl's bedtime.

After she accompanied him to the transporter room, she slowly made her way back to her quarters, trying to rehearse what to say to an upset and confused little girl who happened to be incredibly intelligent and gifted. Should she try to appeal to that adult-like intelligence, or try to soothe the four-year-old emotions?

Too soon, she was standing in front of the bedroom they shared, still at a loss for words. _Guess I'll just wing it…_

She poked her head into the room. "Sarah?" she inquired softly.

But the room was empty.

A PADD sat blinking on her daughter's bed, and Kathryn picked it up. "Spending the night at Kes'. –Sarah"

With a sigh, the captain sank down on her own bed, head in her hands. A vacation that was supposed to recharge everyone, de-stress them, provide a chance for everyone to just be themselves and forget their problems had instead started a heated debate and was draining her in a dozen different ways.

* * *

Sarah felt a guilty stomachache starting and she tried her best to ignore it. She hated lying to her mother, but she just wanted to be away from everyone and everything right now. She wanted to just…not think. With the great food on Sikaris, the Mess Hall closed early. She was curled up under one of the tables by the window, relishing the dark and quiet. She tried to keep visions of her mother with Gath out of her head.

_I'm being so stupid. She's a grown-up, she's allowed… But she's my mom! No, I'm being selfish…And anyways, I was kissed too. But I didn't start it, and he's five! I used to like Gath too, but something about him just…I don't know, something's not right…I'm probably just being selfish. Why am I not like other four-year-olds? That would make this so much easier…_

She drifted off to sleep, still arguing with herself.

* * *

She awoke to a conversation a few tables away. Apparently no one realized that she was in the room, because, as she listened, she realized Harry, Tom, B'Elanna, and Seska were talking about an illicitly acquired Sikarian trajector matrix, and possibly going behind the Magistrate's back to use the technology to get home. Apparently Harry had met with his friend Eudana the night before, and Jaret had given him the matrix and proposed that the two of them complete the transaction of literature-for-trajector.

"I don't know what to do," Harry was saying. "I know we'd all like to get that much closer to home, but I don't think Captain Janeway is going to go for getting the technology like that."

"Maybe she will," B'Elanna argued. "After all, it's a Sikarian who's making the offer."

"But it's not above board. The captain is only going to deal with an official representative," Tom countered.

_So true, _Sarah thought. A comm signal sounded, and she could hear "_Bridge to Ensign Kim. The Captain can see you now._"

"Just tell her everything you know. Let her take it from there," Tom added to Harry.

"Right…"

"I'll walk you part way. I have some things to take care of."

Sarah heard them leave, and then B'Elanna's sigh. "Somehow, I have a bad feeling about this. It's just not going to work out."

Seska paused a moment before she replied quietly, "Don't you think that's up to us?"

"What does that mean?"

"It means that we can sit here and let someone make the decision for us, or we can take matters into our own hands. We've been offered the grand prize. All we have to do is step up and claim it."

The little girl's skin tingled as she realized what Seska meant. B'Elanna realized it as well. "Take the technology, without permission?"

"Since when do you talk like that?," The Bajoran chided. "Do you think permission is more important than getting us half way home? The captain is so infatuated with the Sikarian Magistrate she can't think straight." Sarah experienced a weird sensation of indignation and validation with that statement. "We can't trust that she's going to make the best decision for all of us," Seska continued. "If we do this, we'll need to use Engineering to configure the matrix. It would be a lot easier if we knew we could count on you."

"Seska, I am a senior officer now. I have responsibilities."

"And the main responsibility for everyone on this ship is to try to find a way home. Captain Janeway made that clear from the beginning. That's our primary mission. Just think about it, that's all."

She heard Seska leave, leaving B'Elanna and herself to do some serious soul-searching.

* * *

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­Kathryn tried to quiet her mind as she beamed to Sikaris later that day, but the situation with her daughter and the situation Ensign Kim had brought to her attention were difficult to ignore. She would hopefully clear up one after taking to Gath, but the other…

Gath met her at the transport site with a huge smile and a hug, and they began to walk together.

"Have you spoken with the other Magistrates about using the trajector?" she asked him after some small talk had been exhausted.

"Actually, I haven't. Some of them are traveling now but I assure you I will do it." They passed a merchant peddling his metal wares. The man attempted to show them to Gath who waved the man off dismissively. "Eh, I've already seen those."

Janeway cleared her throat. "It's becoming a matter of some urgency."

"Oh? Why is that?"

She tried to be diplomatic and polite. "We've imposed on you for far too long."

"Not true! We welcome you for as long as you can stay." He placed a hand on her shoulder and added meaningfully, "And I hope that's a very long time indeed."

"My crew is eager to continue our journey. Once they realized the trajector might bring us 40,000 light years closer to home…"

"Why are you so consumed with this desire to get home? I find it difficult to understand."

"Home is home," She said, trying to figure out how someone could not understand that. "It's where we belong."

"Couldn't you create a new home here, with us? Can you imagine a more delightful place to live, where you could pass your time extracting pleasure from every moment." He softly kissed her hand, rather intimately for someone she'd know for only a few days. "I promise you, you and I have many such moments to explore."

"Yes, but for how long?" She gently pulled her hand back. "I've seen how quickly you get tired of your pleasures. All that interests you is what's new and unexplored. After a day or two it becomes commonplace. We prefer permanence—the reward of relationships that endure and grow deeper with the passing of time."

"You would lose those notions if you stayed with us."

Kathryn sighed, feeling everything falling apart. "You may be right. And that's why we have to leave."

Gath stepped back, clearly irritated. "We have offered you nothing but hospitality. Is this how you repay us, with an attack on our beliefs?"

She tried to remain diplomatic. "I'm sorry. I was just trying to illustrate the differences between us."

"I don't enjoy being judged like this. It's very upsetting, and not at all pleasurable."

Diplomacy went out the window. It was her turn to be irritated. "That's all you really care about, isn't it? Your pleasure. All your hospitality, your graciousness, it was never about giving us pleasure, it's all been to gratify yourselves. We're nothing more than the latest novelty_._"

"You're hostile and vicious. You would infect the joyousness of our lives. You must leave immediately."

"You never had any intention of helping us, did you?"

"Of course I did. I did everything in my power to persuade you to stay here."

She shook her head in disbelief and disgust that she'd almost kissed him. She tapped her commbadge. "Janeway to _Voyager_. One to beam up."

* * *

Upon her return to the bridge, she hurried over to Chakotay. "Cancel all shore leave and recall the away teams. We've been asked to leave."

"Aye, captain." He moved away to obey, and Tuvok approached her.

"I assume that means Gath will not be assisting us."

She tried to hide her disappointment and frustration. "I don't think he ever had any intention of helping us. He just strung us along."

"Are you considering Jaret's offer?"

She turned to face her friend, her voice cracking a little despite her best efforts. "Oh, I wish I could…but I can't."

* * *

When Seska, Torres, and Carey entered the transporter room ready to make the trade illicitly, they had no idea there was a fourth person, watching them silently.

"With shore leave cancelled, are we able to get to the surface undetected?" B'Elanna asked.

"We'll have to override the security lock-out but that shouldn't be a problem," Seska replied, nervously clutching the downloaded Federation library chips.

Carey's forehead creased in frustration. "It's not accepting my security code."

"Re-initialize the lock-out buffers."

"I did. It's not working. Someone's altered the security subroutine."

"Why would anyone do that?"

Seska shook her head and stepped from behind the console. "Never mind. Beam me down."

"Are you crazy?" B'Elanna was incredulous. "Security will find you out before you get there."

Suddenly Sarah Janeway stepped from the shadows and stood in front of Seska. "I heard everything." She crossed her arms.

"Look…" Seska began uncomfortably. "Don't you want to go home?"

Carey and Torres looked at each other. A four-year-old girl was really no threat, but neither seemed to want to restrain her.

Sarah held her hand out for the box of chips. The three officers looked at each other. "_I'll_ make the trade," she added.

"What?" B'Elanna looked at her in shock.

She couldn't believe she was succumbing to her dark side. "I don't like Gath," she replied simply.

The three looked at each other a moment longer before Seska handed her the box. At that same moment, Tuvok entered the transporter room and everyone froze.

"I altered the security subroutines. Any attempt to override the lock out would have alerted me to your presence here," he calmly explained. He looked pointedly at Sarah, with the box of chips halfway in her hand from Seska's. He stepped to console and overrode the lockout, and then stepped back to where they stood. "Is this Voyager's library which you intended to trade for the trajector technology?"

"Yes," Seska admitted with reluctance.

Sarah made a move as though to give it to him, but changed her mind and held it close to her body.

He raised one eyebrow at her. "When I attempted to download it, I noticed it had already been accessed."

"You were going to download it?" B'Elanna was surprised.

Noting that Sarah had no intention of letting go of the box, he tipped his head in acquiescence and ushered her onto the transporter pad. "The captain's daughter and I will make the exchange. Return to your stations. Do what you can to prepare the ship for the matrix. Energize."

* * *

­­­­Tuvok allowed her to make the actual exchange. She had no idea why, but he did. She also had no idea how he was explaining the fact that she was on the planet's surface, but she didn't care. A scarily strong force pulsed through her body as she passed the box to Jaret and accepted the trajector matrix in return, knowing that what she was doing would punish Gath. The fact that it would probably also punish her mother was something she found herself shockingly not caring about. A pit of noxious anger was bubbling in the pit of her stomach and this trade was the only way to cure it.

The second they returned to the ship, Tuvok took the matrix and sent her to her quarters, with strict instructions to keep quiet about what had just happened and to stay put. She was more than happy to oblige, for the pit in her stomach, instead of dissipating in her act of rebellion, was growing and making her nauseas.

She sat silently on her bed, trying to sort out the super-intelligent side chastising her for being childish, and the little-girl-side that just wanted to have her mom to herself.

Sometimes she hated being essentially two people.

* * *

The red alert klaxon sounding and the ship shaking violently tipped her off that the trajector matrix hadn't worked, and she headed for her mother's ready room. Maybe a confession would do what revenge hadn't.

* * *

"I take full responsibility for what happened," B'Elanna was explaining to Captain Janeway. "There were others involved, but I was the senior officer and the culpability is mine."

Sarah entered just then, not bothering to use the door signal. Her mother made a motion to shoo her back out, but just then Tuvok interrupted with, "Lieutenant Torres is not precisely correct, captain. She was not the senior officer involved…I was."

"You?" Kathryn whispered.

"Tuvok's not exactly right either, mama…" Sarah added, eyes tearing. "I'm the one who actually made the exchange."

Kathryn stared at the three in front of her, shocked and barely concealing her anger. She shook her head and glowered at her daughter and pointed to the door. "Go back to our quarters. I'll deal with you later."

Sarah obeyed quickly and fearfully. When the door swished shut behind her, Kathryn then turned to Tuvok. "And I will deal with you shortly." She turned to B'Elanna. "I don't have the luxury of throwing you in the brig for the rest of this voyage. I need you. I need every person on this ship. But I want you to know how very deeply you have disappointed me. If there are any further transgressions, even a minor one, you will no longer be an officer on this crew. Is that clear?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Dismissed."

When B'Elanna had gone, she returned her gaze to Tuvok, trying to comprehend the situation. She rubbed her neck in frustration. "I don't even know where to start."

"While I did allow your daughter to make the actual exchange, I was the adult and senior officer present and I accept all responsibility. It was I who gave her permission."

"Let's leave her out of this for now." She closed her eyes, exhausted and uncomprehending.

When she could finally look at him again, she added, "I want you to explain to me how you, of all people, could be involved in this."

"It is quite simple, captain. You have made it clear on many occasions that your highest goal for the crew is to get them home, but in this instance your standards would not allow you to violate Sikarian law. Someone had to spare you the ethical dilemma. I was the logical choice, and so I chose to act."

She realized the gravity of what he was saying. "You did it for me because you knew I couldn't."

"I accept the consequences of my actions. I expect to lose my commission, and to be court-martialed when we return to Federation Space."

She shook her head. "You are one of my most valued officers, and you are my friend. It is vital that you understand me here. I need you, but I also need to know that I can count on you. You are my counsel, the one I turn to when I need my moral compass checked." She found the anger she was trying to keep buried was creeping into her voice. "We have forged this relationship for years, and I depend on it!" With effort, she spoke more softly. "I realize you made a sacrifice for me but it's not one I would've allowed you to make. You can use logic to justify almost anything. That's its power, and its flaw. From now on, bring your logic to me. Don't act on it behind my back."

Tuvok nodded slowly. "You have my word. My logic was not in error, but I was."

She couldn't face him any longer. She turned away and quietly replied, "Dismissed."

* * *

Kathryn put off returning to her quarters as long as she could, but eventually she had to go back and confront her daughter. She found Sarah sitting on her bed, white-faced and anxious. Without preamble, she told her flatly, "No replicator rations or holodeck time for a week. Is that perfectly clear?"

Sarah nodded quickly and repeatedly.

"How could you, Sarah? You went behind my back, knowing perfectly well that what you were doing was wrong." She ignored her daughter's tears. "Not only did you go behind my back, but you had to have known how dangerous that secretive little deal was. The fact that Tuvok was with you shouldn't have made a difference. What were you thinking?!" Her daughter's shoulders started to shake, and she softened her voice. "What I really want to know is…why?"

A sound squeaked out from Sarah's whimpers.

"What?"

"Gath."

She stared at her little girl. "What?"

Sarah started to cry harder. "I…di-didn't like how...he l-looked at you. It was s-stupid, I kn-know. I'm s-s-sorry!"

"Oh, Sarah…" Kathryn sat next to her. "So what you did was to get back at Gath?"

She could barely make out a "Yes" in the midst of the sobs. She hugged her daughter to her side and whispered, "Why didn't you say something sooner?"

"I di-didn't know how-ow! And I wanted you to be ha-happy!"

"This is partly my fault," she murmured into Sarah's hair. "I was so caught up with him, I didn't stop to think how it must be affecting you. And I am _so_ sorry about that. I'm so sorry. I forget sometimes you're still just a little girl…" Tears began to leak from her own eyes. "I am so sorry. It will never happen again, I promise you that."

"And I won't g-go behind your back again, I p-promise."

"Ok…ok…" She hugged Sarah even tighter and prayed they could both learn from and move past the disastrous last few days.

* * *

Author's Note: Like I said, definitely not my best work, but you guys deserved an update. Hopefully I can get things figured out and come up with an awesome new chapter much more quickly than this.


	14. State of Flux

_Disclaimer: All characters, vessels, science, the original plot, and dialogue belong to Paramount with the exception of Sarah Janeway, the new parts of the plot, and anything else that is my creation._

Author's Note: Once again, HUGE apologies for the delay. I would have had this up even sooner, but I decided to wait to upload until I had new chapters for all my stories.

I'm trying something new here: character-centered episodes. This one is Chakotay. While it's not completely centered around him, I'm spending more time in his head than, say, Sarah's. I'm trying to branch out some more here, and try some of things I've learned in my creative writing classes. I'm also going to try and shake the plot up more for a new take on _Voyager_. Thank you so much to all the readers! Reviews are appreciated!

* * *

**Anomaly**

'_State of Flux'_

Sarah Janeway was still being punished. Instead of being able to sit and read in her quarters, her mother had sent her planetside with Chakotay and Neelix to collect food. But as she stood on a small dirt hill in a valley with the bluest sky she'd seen in ages, the sun gently warm on her skin, and a breeze ruffling her long curly hair, she couldn't help but feel that it was possibly the best punishment she'd ever received.

"Hey," came a gentle voice.

She turned to see Chakotay standing behind her.

"This is supposed to be punishment you know," he chastised her with a mock sternness, the corners of his mouth failing at suppressing a smile.

She flashed him a grin of her own. "I know…"

"C'mon." He gestured for her to join him a few feet away. "I realize you already helped fill two containers, but your mother will have my head if she doesn't think you've been sufficiently punished."

"She doesn't need to worry," Sarah replied in a quiet serious tone as she lifted the lid of a new container. "I'm done being rebellious and vengeful."

Chakotay laughed out loud.

"What?"

He shook his head with a smile and placed a hand on the top of her head. "I'm sorry. It's just that teenagers usually go through that, not so much four-year-olds."

She laughed as well. "Yeah, I guess so. But anyways, I am going to behave myself for the rest of the trip."

Lieutenant Carey and Neelix suddenly arrived from opposite directions. Neelix wasn't holding anything, but Carey had a golden apple-type fruit in his hand. "Commander! Look at this! I think they're some kind of apple. There are trees filled with them as far as the eye can see, just over that ridge."

Chakotay nodded appreciatively and Sarah stretched out her hand to touch it.

"Kaylos," Neelix identified it. Aren't they gorgeous?" He paused, seemingly for dramatic effect, for his next words were: "One bite'll kill you, puff you up like a Vakol fish." He grabbed his throat. "First your windpipe swells, and just when you think you're going to die of suffocation—"

He stopped when he noticed how Sarah's eyes widened and she pulled her hand off the fruit as though it had been scalded. She rubbed her hand vigorously up and down her pant leg.

"I think we get the picture," was Chakotay's rather unnecessary comment.

"Sorry. Just remember the old traders' axiom: Never judge a fruit by its skin. On the other hand…" Neelix held out a very strange knobbly brown root.

"What is it?"

"Leola root. Take a bite."

Chakotay did, but spit it out almost the second it entered his mouth. "You expect us to _eat_ this?!"

"This is the reason I brought you here, Commander. There's no better source of vitamins and minerals in the Quadrant than in this, this ugly little root."

"I'd find the second best source acceptable if it tasted better."

Laughing, Neelix bid the small group to kneel in the dirt. They did, and he showed them how to dig for the roots. "You're not used to roughing it, are you? Look, you take it from one who knows, the day may come when you'll relish every last crunch of leola. Stew them for a few hours in a light herbal broth and you won't even notice the mildew!"

The three humans looked at each other with something akin to horror.

* * *

Aboard _Voyager_, Kathryn Janeway still felt slightly guilty for punishing her daughter. She knew the girl had only done what she'd done based on strong child's emotions, and she knew that she herself was partly to blame, but she had to get Sarah trained out of the reckless mentality to which she currently succumbed. Adult intelligence with juvenile emotions and judgment was a bad combination. She was hoping that treating her like any other child might help, somehow.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Tom's voice coming from the conn. "Captain, I don't think we're alone. Mr. Tuvok, run a low-level EM scan for me: co-ordinates 81 mark 40."

Tuvok began the scan.

Kathryn left her seat to stand behind her conn officer. "What do you see, Mr. Paris?"

"It's like a reflection, something in low orbit when it moves into a certain angle from the sun."

"He's correct," Tuvok said. "I'm picking up an ionisation trail. There's another ship in orbit."

"Using some kind of cloaking device?"

"It's not a cloaking device as we know it, Captain. I cannot say for certain what it is, but the ship does employ some kind of masking circuitry that has affected our sensors."

"Tuvok, lock onto Sarah's comm badge and beam her back aboard while I get the teams organized and ready to beam back as well."

"Aye captain."

* * *

Chakotay started in surprise when Sarah Janeway suddenly shimmered out of existence in front of him.

"Voyager to away team."

"Captain, do you realize Sarah was just beamed somewhere?"

"Yes commander. I brought her back aboard the ship for safety reasons. Are you detecting any unexpected lifesigns down there?"

"Nothing but bloodworms. Neelix wants to bring some back for a tartari he wants to make. I'm trying to talk him out of it."

"We're picking up an unidentified ship in low orbit. Collect your teams and prepare to transport back while we investigate."

"Acknowledged. Chakotay out." He then contacted the away teams. "All units, report to transport site A immediately."

* * *

Back aboard the ship, Tom had the idea to try illuminating the mystery ship with a polaron burst. It worked, and they had a brief glimpse of the ship.

"Kazon!" Captain Janeway tapped her comm badge. "Chakotay, get everyone back here NOW!"

* * *

The away teams' return to the ship was not without incident. When they assembled to beam back to the ship, Harry Kim realized that Seska was missing. Chakotay went to find her in some nearby caves near where she had been picking berries. Once inside one of the caves, he managed to evade two Kazon-Nistrim soldiers and locate Seska, who had gone inside to pick mushrooms in order to teach Neelix how to make Chakotay's favorite soup. On the way back out of the cave, however, they were ambushed by the two Kazon Chakotay had seen earlier. A firefight broke out, and Chakotay was hit by one of the Kazon. Seska fired back and hit them, and the two Starfleet officers were able to make it outside and beam back aboard _Voyager_. An injured Chakotay was resting in his quarters.

Kathryn, sitting in her quarters, finished her log entry about the events while Sarah sat nearby, quietly reading an early piece of Vulcan literature about a young Vulcan who was unable to control his emotions and spent his youth restlessly wandering from ship to ship, planet to planet. The Vulcan author had intended it to be a cautionary tale, but almost any other species considered it to be an adventure novel.

She wondered which line of thought her daughter was getting out of it.

"Sarah?"

The little girl looked up.

"You know why I punished you?"

"Yes mama."

"You're not going to try anything like that again, are you?"

She shook her head violently side to side. "No! I promise!"

"Good girl." She sighed. "I hate having to do it, but I don't want anything to happen to you. Please try to remember you're only four, even if you can do math and read complicated literature and sense things."

"I understand mama. And I'm sorry." Sarah paused for a minute before she hesitantly looked back at her mother. "But I…I think I'm normal."

"What?"

"I think I'm normal. I can't sense things anymore." From the look on her face, she also wasn't sure how she felt about it.

"What do you mean sweetie?"

"Lieutenant Carey showed us this thing that looked like a golden apple today on the planet's surface. I reached out and touched it, and then Neelix told us that it was poisonous. I couldn't sense it." Her eyes were wide and bewildered.

"Sarah…"

"It wasn't the first time…" Her voice quivered.

Kathryn left her desk chair to hug her young daughter. "I'm sure it's nothing…" She gently rested her head on top of her daughter's and stroked her hair. As she comforted her, she couldn't help but half-hope it was permanent. It would be so much easier on the little girl, and the people around her. At the same time she felt terrible for thinking such a thing. For Sarah, it had to be like suddenly losing sight or hearing.

* * *

Chakotay was resting fairly comfortably in his quarters, sketching some Native American symbols on a piece of stone, when the door signal sounded.

Seska quickly slipped inside, grinning and holding a covered round silver dish. She sat next to Chakotay and set it on the table. "I wasn't sure I'd make it," she said, and she held out a spoon.

Confused, Chakotay took it. "What is this?"

"Well that's a spoon," Seska laughed. "But this—" She removed the cover with a flourish. "Real food!"

"You got Neelix to make mushroom soup?!" He began spooning it into his mouth, the aroma irresistible and the taste equally so. "I can't believe it…" he said between mouthfuls.

"Are you kidding? The man wanted to stretch the mushrooms with just a little—"

"Leola root!" they finished together, and laughed.

"You should have been there," she continued. "We got into this tug of war with the bag of mushrooms in the middle. It was the most ludicrous thing you've ever seen. Tuvok and Kes broke us up, and then Neelix threw me out of his kitchen."

Chakotay looked up from the soup for a second. "So how did you…?"

"Strictly a Maquis operation," she explained, getting a couple of spoonfuls of soup for herself and smirking just a bit. "First we arranged for a little morale crisis. A couple of our people suddenly came down with a case of severe homesickness. Neelix, our devoted morale officer, responded to the call and came in to cheer them up. And while they were all singing Rakan folk songs, Jackson and I broke into the kitchen."

He stopped eating to stare at her. "You looted the food reserves?"

She shrugged a little. "If he's not going to give us a decent meal…"

Chakotay pushed the bowl away with a look of disgust. "I can't believe you did this."

"Well, it's not like we're hiding anything. I did bring soup straight to the first officer, didn't I?"

"Thanks for including me in a criminal conspiracy," was his sarcastic reply. "Does he know about this yet?"

"Well, the morale crisis ended a few minutes ago, so I'd say—"

She was interrupted by Neelix's irate voice over the comm system. "Neelix to Chakotay!"

"Yeah, he probably does…" she finished.

Chakotay sighed a little. "Go ahead Neelix."

"I'd like to report a crime! Someone has broken into my kitchen and stolen food, taken food out of the mouths of their crewmates!"

"I know."

"It was that Seska, wasn't it?!"

"I promise you everyone involved will be disciplined."

"If you'd like my recommendations for punishment—"

Chakotay cut him off with a firm, "Thank you. I'll handle that. Chakotay out." He turned to Seska irritably. "Replicator privileges revoked for two days—everyone, including me."

Seska frowned a little and shook her head. "They're not going to do it."

"Then I'll personally put them in the brig."

She looked at him incredulously. "You'd put me in the brig? After all we've been through?!" Her face softened and she tilted her head towards him and she smiled a little. "The soup was worth losing the replicator privileges for two days. Admit it."

He pushed his chair away from the table and went to stand by the window, facing away from her. "That's not the point."

Seska followed him and coyly snuggled up to him from behind, wrapping her arms sensuously around his chest. "I get the point," she murmured. "Can we make up now? Who else knows how to make your favorite soup like I do?"

He turned to face her, ignoring her advances. "No one," he admitted. "But we agreed a long time ago that this wouldn't work."

She rested her head on his chest, one arm snaking up to rub his shoulder. "Things change, Chakotay…"

"You're right, they do. I have different responsibilities now."

Seska laughed. "What, like babysitting the captain's kid?" She pouted a little. "You know, you spend way more time with that girl than you do with me. How come?"

He tried to push her away. "Like I said, things change."

She tightened her grip and laughed again. "Chakotay the family man. I never thought I'd see the day. Or are you getting in good with the little one so you have more influence with the captain?" She traced his collar with the tip of her finger. "Or maybe you've been after the captain all along, and that girl's just a pawn in your little love game."

"Seska, that's _enough_!" Chakotay untangled her and pushed her away.

She looked hurt for a fraction of second, then angry, then impassive. "Look around, Chakotay. There aren't that many potential mates out here." She headed for the door, then turned to face him one last time before she left, smiling. "Of course, if you're not interested, I have had my eye on young Ensign Kim…"

The doors swished shut behind her and Chakotay sank onto the couch with a frustrated sigh.

It had been years since they'd admitted feelings for each other. They'd had a short trial run of a relationship before calling it quits permanently. Or so he thought.

They just weren't compatible as a couple. It caused too many work conflicts and personal arguments. But there was still a part of him that wanted to take her back in his arms and caress her dark hair…

His reverie was interrupted by the captain's voice over the comm system: "Janeway to all senior officers. Please report to the bridge."

* * *

A weak, static-laden distress signal video was being played on the main viewer. A Kazon captain was leaning forward, pleading, "We require help...immediately...anyone who can hear this message...please help!"

Chakotay looked over at Captain Janeway for an explanation. "Long-range scanners picked up the distress signal three minutes ago," she said, frowning at the image uncertainly.

"The dimensions are identical to the one we encountered at the planet," Tuvok added from his station. "It is a Kazon-Nistrim ship, captain."

"Captain, this may be a trap," Neelix cautioned. "The Kazon-Nistrim is one of the most violent sects in the entire Kazon Collective."

The distress signal continued to play and Chakotay found it hard not to be at least a little sympathetic. Whatever had happened aboard that ship, assuming it wasn't a trap, had been horrendous. The captain asked Ensign Kim if he could tell if the damage was genuine, and the young man replied that there were fluctuating nucleonic patterns, possibly indicating a reactor breakdown. When Tom Paris' scans didn't turn up any other Kazon ships in the area, Janeway ordered continuous scans and a new heading that would take them to the distressed vessel.

"I take your warning seriously, Neelix," she assured the nervous Talaxian. "And we'll act with caution. But if we can help, we should." She looked to Chakotay. "Besides, this may be an opportunity to make a friend, and out here we can use all the friends we can get."

He nodded seriously.

* * *

It was a horrific scene that created the away team from _Voyager_ when they beamed aboard the Kazon vessel. Scans showed high levels of nucleonic radiation, and then they suddenly found themselves face-to-face with what remained of the crew: whole Kazon, fused to parts of the ship, in the bulkheads, in the computer consoles. They found a single survivor and beamed him to Sick Bay.

Chakotay and Tuvok joined Janeway, the Doctor, and Kes there, where the holographic doctor looked over the Kazon's scans, perplexed.

"Incredible! Somehow virtually every cell in his body has been altered."

"Altered? How?" the captain asked.

"His cells have mutated, or they've been fused with inorganic matter. I can't make heads or tails of it. Look at this. His bloodcells have bonded with metallic nuclei."

"The crewmembers closest to the explosion were virtually melded with huge pieces of metal fragments," Chakotay added, the image of faces and hands and boots sticking out grotesquely from every part of the ship. "He was luckier than the others."

"That remains to be seen. I'm going to have to do a complete pyrocyte replacement if we're going to keep him alive. We'd better hope that there are compatible donors on board."

"I'll run a cytological screening of the crew," Kes spoke up.

The Doctor nodded and told the senior officers, "We'll let you know the results as soon as we can."

As the three of the stepped into the hallway, Tuvok broke the disturbing news to the captain in his calm, quite way. "Captain, there was an apparent Federation signature to the explosion."

"What?!"

"The explosive residue had a .41 trace of a neosorium composite, and I don't know anyone who uses neosorium technology except for the Federation," Chakotay explained. "It looked like they were trying to install some new technology that detonated."

"You're saying they have some kind of Federation weapon on board?"

"A console on the Bridge was the source of the explosion. We're not sure what its function was and it's going to be hard to get to." He briefly explained how the levels of nucleonic radiation would interfere with a transporter beam.

Kathryn Janeway frowned. "At any rate, how could they possibly have Federation technology?"

The three stepped into a turbolift and Tuvok spoke. "There are only three alternatives that I can discern at this time. One: It is not Federation technology at all but something similar."

The captain ordered, "Bridge," and the turbolift began to move.

"Two: Another Federation starship may have been brought to the Delta Quadrant prior to our arrival and they interacted with the Kazon-Nistrim."

Chakotay wracked his memory but couldn't recall any such information. He turned to Kathryn. "Were there any other reports of missing starships?"

"Not to my knowledge…"

Tuvok continued. "Three: Someone from this ship has covertly given technology to the Kazon."

Chakotay saw something like fear and shock flit briefly across the captain's face. "Computer, halt turbolift. I don't like number three at all, Tuvok."

"Nevertheless, it is the most probable explanation. It may not be a coincidence that the Kazon ship we encountered at the planet was able to deceive our sensors. Perhaps someone transmitted instructions to them before we arrived."

She sighed. "I want you to personally go through the transmission logs, Tuvok. Compare them to the actual telemetry. See if there's any evidence of prior contact with the Kazon." She turned to him. "Chakotay, who would've had a chance to meet with them while you were on the surface?"

He thought back, but the morning was a sort of organized chaos. "A dozen people. We were scattered all over the area."

Tuvok looked at him curiously. "You did discover Ensign Seska in proximity to them."

He bristled indignantly. "Seska almost killed me because she thought I was Kazon! She wouldn't do something like this."

"Nevertheless, I urge you to regard her with caution for the time being."

The captain broke in before Chakotay could protest again in defense of Seska. "Why would anyone on this ship betray us? We're all in this together. We need to retrieve that console and get some answers before the rumors get out of hand. Computer, resume."

* * *

Chakotay refused to even consider Seska a suspect. They'd known each other for too long for that to even be a remote possibility. She wouldn't endanger the ship, the crew, _him_ like that.

He stood with the captain, B'Elanna, and members of the engineering crew in Main Engineering as they tried to devise a plan to retrieve the suspect console from the Kazon ship.

"Releasing the forcefield isn't an option," B'Elanna was saying. "That would just release the radiation into the whole cabin."

"We could generate a localized subspace bubble to get past the forcefield," Seska suggested, peering at diagrams on a screen.

B'Elanna shook her head vehemently at that. "One minor subspace disruption and you're dead. Too risky."

"I'd be willing to risk it."

No one responded to Seska's statement. The ensuing silence solidified the fact that it was unacceptable.

Lieutenant Carey broke the silence. "We could use an expander to manipulate the containment field."

"Manipulate it how?" the chief engineer wanted to know.

Carey activated another monitor and played with some animations. "Move it out of the way—rotate the field and the radiation trapped inside it away from the console. Once it's clear we have access."

B'Elanna nodded approvingly as the captain inquired, "How long will it take to set this up?"

"We should be able to make an attempt by tomorrow."

"I want it ready by the end of the day." She went to leave Main Engineering, but B'Elanna spoke up and halted her.

"No, captain. When I say tomorrow, I mean tomorrow. I don't exaggerate. Tomorrow is the best I can do." The engineer locked eyes with the captain somewhat nervously before the captain responded.

"Understood, lieutenant." She wasn't angry. She seemed pleased that B'Elanna had stood up to her.

The captain nodded to Chakotay before she left the room. He smiled to himself. He was proud of B'Elanna.

"All right," the chief engineer continued, seeming a little surprised but happy that she'd survived the encounter with the captain. "We'll begin on the Kazon bridge. Carey, Nicoletti, Seska—"

As soon as Chakotay heard her name, he stopped Torres.

"No. I want Ensign Seska to coordinate the operation from our bridge." The last thing she needed was an excuse for the likes of Tuvok to accuse her of something else.

"Ok. Hennard, you're with us. Dismissed." B'Elanna moved off with her team, minus Seska, and Chakotay exited Engineering.

He didn't make it very far before Seska grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around to face her. "What was that all about?!" she wanted to know, clearly irritated.

"What?"

"Oh, please. You know exactly what I'm talking about. There's nothing important to do on the bridge."

"I disagree. I think we need someone—"

"Save it, Chakotay." She leaned in closer to him. "What the hell is going on?"

He looked at her, and all he could see was the woman he cared deeply about, the one he'd worked alongside for years, the one he'd spent several affectionate nights with, the one he trusted with everything, including his heart, even though they both truly knew better than to try to rekindle what they'd once had. "There…there's some…concern about you."

"What kind of concern?"

He hated to say it. "Concern because I found you near the Kazon on the planet."

Seska grew more upset, her face darkening like storm cloud. "Oh I see. So now I'm a traitor. I sell technology to the enemy?!"

"I do not believe that," he said firmly.

"No, you just take me off my assignment!"

"I'm trying to take you out of harm's way to protect you!"

"If this is your idea of protection, you might as well point a finger at me in front of the entire crew!"

"You don't assign someone you don't trust to the bridge! Look, I'm sorry. But if something over there goes wrong, I don't want you anywhere near it!"

With as much sarcasm as possible, Seska replied, "Thanks for your concern." And then she stalked off.

_Can't you see that I care about you?_, he thought in frustration and sadness as he watched her retreating back. _You still mean something to me. I don't want to see you get hurt…_

* * *

Seska entered Sick Bay and inquired about the Kazon patient. As she spoke with the Doctor and Kes, she became aware of another presence and turned to see the captain's daughter staring at her. The girl was holding a compress to her arm, undoubtedly bruised from playing. The ensign didn't like the way the little girl's green eyes bored into her own, but before she could say anything, Sarah blinked, shook her head a little, and left.

"Ensign, did you ever come in to leave a blood sample on file?" Kes was saying, in reference to the fact that the Kazon's blood would need to be completely replaced and hopefully there were a few compatible donors on board.

"My blood won't help you," she answered, still somewhat distracted. "I had a childhood disease that infected it. I was warned never to donate blood for a transfusion."

"All the more reason we should have your blood on file," the Doctor added.

"I will. Right now I have something more important to take care of." She left Sick Bay, still with the image of the young dark-haired girl, eyes wide and innocent, in her mind.

* * *

Kathryn Janeway was facing one problem after another. After dropping her daughter off in Sick Bay to be treated for a bruised arm, she met up with Chakotay and Tuvok in her ready room to learn that there had indeed been an unauthorized transmission made from the ship, and whoever was responsible was an expert in covering their tracks.

"The signal was masked by a test of the dorsal emitters that we conducted a week ago," Tuvok explained.

"Who was working on that test?"

Chakotay answered with a frustrated, "Only the whole engineering crew."

"We're trying to trace the station where the signal originated. Again, the perpetrator was skilled enough to make the tracking process extremely difficult for us."

Just then, Tom Paris summoned the captain to the bridge. All three of them stepped out of the ready room to be confronted by another crisis: a Kazon ship was in the area, only a little over four hours out. Before they could properly mull over this new information, Harry Kim called out that there had just been an unauthorized transport off the ship. Kathryn asked the computer for the person's identity and it responded, "Ensign Seska."

Stunned, she looked back at Chakotay.

He was equally shocked. _No, no she wouldn't… _"Chakotay to Seska."

"I really don't have time to talk to you right now, Chakotay."

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

"Retrieving the console. My way."

"I want you back on this ship, and I mean now!"

"The captain said she wanted the console today. Carey's plan couldn't do it in time, but mine can."

There was that fire she had, the deep-seated independence and pride that he admired and loved so well. But now he could sense that it was about to cause her serious harm in some way.

Tuvok spoke up from his console. "Captain, it is conceivable that she's gone to the Kazon ship to destroy evidence that might implicate her."

Indignation welled up in the commander's throat and he spun to face the Vulcan. "She's gone back to the Kazon ship to prove herself to us. Can't you see that?!"

"I've got a lock on her, Captain. Do you want me to transport her back?"

"No, Mr. Kim. If we try to beam her out while she's manipulating subspace, we might kill her."

The tension on the bridge came to a culmination as Seska suddenly screamed and her comm channel cut off.

"Get her out of there! Send her to Sick Bay!"

* * *

Chakotay spent as much time by Seska's unconscious side that he could before he was forced to return to the captain's ready room where they intended to have a talk with Mr. Carey. He couldn't shake a horrible feeling of guilt. _If I hadn't doubted her…if I hadn't let Tuvok get to me…she would __**never**__ betray me, us. I should have trusted her more…_

"Have a seat, Mr. Carey," Kathryn Janeway was saying.

Chakotay jerked himself back to the present. "How are things going for you in Engineering?"

"Fine. Why, is there a problem?"

"Are you getting on all right with Lieutenant Torres?"

"I think we've settled our differences…" Carey was starting to sound suspicious.

"She was promoted to chief engineer over you, lieutenant. That might be difficult for someone in your position to accept."

"Captain, I accepted your decision. And I've worked as hard as I can to make myself a valuable member of Lieutenant Torres' team. I can't believe she'd have any complaints about my performance."

"She doesn't."

Now he was confused. "Then what am I doing here?"

Tuvok took over inquiry. "Lieutenant, have you had any contact with the Kazon-Nistrim since we arrived in the Delta Quadrant?"

"What?! You mean me personally? No, of course not!"

"You were out of contact for almost an hour on the planet where we encountered the Kazon."

"You mean, when I was picking those poison apples?!"

"What about before we arrived at the planet: did you have any reason to signal a Kazon-Nistrim ship?" Janeway asked.

"No!"

"Nevertheless," Tuvok continued. "A signal was sent to the Kazon from your station in Engineering during our dorsal emitter test last week."

"My station?!"

"Were you not in Engineering at that time?"

"Well, yes, I was. But…you know how it is down there during a systems analysis."

"Did you see anyone else at your station?"

Carey was beginning to look and sound desperate. "Honestly, I don't remember! Maybe you should ask Seska."

Janeway frowned. "Why Seska?"

"Everybody knows she was found in a cave with the Kazon," he replied, trying to fight down a rising panic. He collected himself and added firmly, "Look, I'm not saying she did anything wrong but _I didn't either_."

The captain nodded slowly. "I'd like to believe you, Mr. Carey. But somebody did contact the Kazon, and until we know who I'm going to have to restrict you to quarters."

Carey looked around and, realizing the interview was over, he left, thoroughly shaken.

Kathryn leaned forward as the doors swished shut, placing her elbows on the desk and resting her chin on her intertwined fingers. "What do you think?"

"He had the motive and the opportunity," Chakotay said matter-of-factly.

"He's also had a distinguished Starfleet career. Seska spent most of the last two years as an enemy of the Federation."

Chakotay looked impassively at the captain. "So have I," he said simply.

* * *

Kathryn was able to return to her quarters and her daughter for only a little while. She'd asked Kes to check on her now and then, since the Ocampan woman was also needed in Sick Bay. Thankfully, the only incident thus far had been a bruised arm Sarah sustained while dashing between pieces of furniture clutching her stuffed horse, pretending that she was a wild Mustang. She was barely able to kiss the top of the girl's head and ask how she was doing before she was called back to the bridge: the Kazon ship was nearing hailing range. "I'm so sorry Sarah," she apologized as got up to leave. They hadn't yet had a chance to really talk about the loss of Sarah's intuitions, or to consult Kes, and Kathryn could see that her daughter was still upset and uncertain.

"It's ok," the girl replied, clutching her little horse closer. "You have to take care of everybody, not just me." She stuck out her chin bravely.

Kathryn turned back and knelt to hug her daughter tightly. "We will talk, I promise. I will be back as soon as I possibly can," she murmured into Sarah's hair.

"Ok," she whispered back.

* * *

The Kazon ship hailed them, and the captain demanded to see the unconscious sole survivor. Kathryn and Tuvok escorted him and one of his crew members to Sick Bay, where the Doctor turned to greet her with, "Ah, captain. Glad you're here. I was just about to call you."

"Doctor, this is First Maje Culluh of the Kazon-Nistrim," she replied, indicating the Kazon on her immediate right. "Could you give us the latest condition report on your Kazon patient?"

"Well, the good news is that I've been able to stabilize him. We had to completely replace his blood."

"Replace his blood? With what?" Culluh asked gruffly.

"The blood of volunteers from our crew," Janeway replied. "They saved his life."

"His own blood cells were killing him. They were changed by the accident on his ship."

"Changed in what manner?"

"We haven't been able to determine yet."

"We've been working on a plan to access the source of the explosion," Kathryn added. "It should answer a lot of questions."

"That will no longer be necessary." The Kazon always appeared to be frowning, but Culluh looked somehow even less friendly than usual. "We will take the damaged vessel to our port for inspection."

"I'm afraid I can't allow you to do that just yet."

"And what gives you the right to interfere in our affairs?"

"There was trace of a Federation compound in the remains of the explosion. We have reason that someone on board this ship gave technology to your people. Until we have a better explanation of what occurred, I can't release that ship to you."

Culluh was indignant. "That is not acceptable."

"It will have to be."

"Your unique technologies make you brave, captain, but you have only one ship. In less than a day there will be four Kazon vessels off your bow."

She held her gaze steady. "Perhaps by then we'll have the answers we need."

Culluh scowled. "You will leave us with him." He and his associate stepped closer to the unconscious form.

Tuvok observed from a distance as Kathryn stepped away to consult quietly with the Doctor. In little more than a whisper, she said, "I assume they'll want to take him back to their ship. I'd rather not let them do it just yet in case he regains consciousness. There are a lot of questions he can answer. Can I tell them it's not safe to move him?"

"It would be the truth."

Before she could respond, a sudden flicker of movement from the Kazon men caught her attention. Before she could make a move, Culluh's associate plunged a needle on his ring into the neck of the patient. Both she and Tuvok drew their phasers and hurried forward, but it was too late. Tuvok pinned the associate to the wall, his phaser to his throat, as she pointed her own phaser at Culluh. The Doctor rushed over to the biobed's diagnostic monitors and announced grimly, "He's dead."

Kathryn gritted her teeth. "Get off this ship," she spat at Culluh.

He smirked a little and gave a mocking bow. The two Kazon left, guarded by Tuvok.

After they were gone, the Doctor reported what else the diagnostic readouts had said in reference to the now-dead Kazon. "There was some kind of nerve toxin in that needle. He died instantly." He paused, looked at Kes, then continued with, "Captain, may we talk to you in my office?"

She dipped her head in acquiescence, still reeling and angry from the turn of events.

Once they were in his office, the Doctor stated, "It's about Seska."

"Complications?"

"I was analyzing her blood chemistry to try to locate a compatible donor," Kes said quietly. "But when I got the results her blood was lacking all the common Bajoran blood factors."

Janeway frowned. "Meaning?"

The Doctor and Kes looked at each other. "The only conclusion we can reach is that she is not in fact Bajoran," the Doctor explained. "It appears that Seska has been genetically altered. My suspicion is…she was born Cardassian."

* * *

Chakotay was still trying to fathom the bombshell Kathryn Janeway had dropped on him. "You're asking me to believe she's a Cardassian agent who infiltrated the Maquis?!" _No, there is no possible way. Not __**Seska**__…_ He thought of their many embraces and shook his head.

Tuvok was impassive. "Starfleet Security has documented several incidents in which Cardassians have used cosmetic alterations for the purpose of infiltrating an enemy."

"This is crazy. This is just impossible!" _No no no…_

"The Doctor has informed us that there is no other plausible explanation for the medical anomalies."

"If you don't mind," Chakotay interjected testily. "I'd like to hear her explanation before we dismiss it. Has she been told?" He looked at the captain. Her arms were crossed across her chest, and she looked both unnerved and concerned.

"No."

"I'd like to be the one who questions her."

"I suggest we wait until we retrieve the console." She tapped her comm badge. "Janeway to Torres."

"Yes captain?"

"Your status?"

"We're finished with the computer simulations. Everything looks ok. We're ready to beam over."

"Good. Then let's get started. Janeway out."

Meeting over, Tuvok and Chakotay headed for the door. Before they exited, the commander turned to Tuvok, his face unreadable. "You were working for her," he said, nodding back towards the captain. "Seska was working for them. Was anybody on board that ship working for me?" He didn't expect or wait for an answer.

* * *

Despite threats from Culluh and the possibility of an unanticipated problem, the retrieval operation went off without a hitch. B'Elanna examined it in Main Engineering and finally sighed incredulously. "Of all the things to die for…It's a food replicator, or at least it was trying to be."

Kathryn leaned over her shoulder to get a closer look. "We may take replicators for granted but imagine what it would mean to a culture that doesn't have this technology. Can you tell if any part of the console came from our ship?"

"There's no doubt about it, captain. The pattern buffer relays are clearly composed of bioneural fibers. No other Federation ship would have them. Somebody on board _Voyager_ gave them what they needed. I guess they just didn't know what to do with it."

Grimly, the captain replied, "I want a complete report on everything we've found so that I can share it with our Kazon friends."

* * *

Chakotay entered Sick Bay, a feeling of unpleasant anticipation hanging over him. Kes quickly realized why he was there and politely left him alone with Seska.

He walked over to the biobed, images of the two of them in a much happier time swirling in his head. "We've recovered the console. It's a replicator, constructed with materials from _Voyager_," he stated without pretense.

Seska opened her eyes and sat up. "I suppose everyone now thinks I went over there to destroy the evidence."

"Did you?"

Her mouth hung open a little, hurt. "I was only trying to show everyone, show _you_...You really think I had something to do with this, don't you?"

"To be honest, I'm not sure any more. I'm not sure of a lot of things."

"Well, why don't you go talk to your animal guide and figure it all out?"

"I plan to."

"Good." She laid back down.

"You know, it's funny, I've been thinking about what's been real, what's not been real…"

"What is this about? What's wrong with you? Talk to me, Chakotay. You owe me that much."

It was his turn to be hurt. "What would you say I owe to a Cardassian who infiltrated my crew?"

"What are you talking about?!"

"It turns out your blood is missing all the common Bajoran factors."

"It's a side-effect of Orkett's Disease. Ask your Doctor."

He paused. "Orkett's Disease."

"A childhood disease that swept through the Bajoran work camps during the Occupation. Thousands of children didn't survive. I did, thanks to a bone marrow transplant from a sympathetic Cardassian woman. Her name was Kattell. When we get home you can ask her yourself. You must think I'm horrible. Do you think I gave you my...my heart...to get your Maquis secrets?"

"I'm starting to wonder."

Seska sat back up. "Let me tell you something. Your secrets weren't good enough. They were never worth the trouble for a Cardassian agent. I only had one agenda with you Chakotay, and I never kept it secret." She softly caressed his arm. "So, you believe in me again?"

"I want to," he replied quietly.

"Good, because I want to go back to work."

"You're going to have to stay confined, at least until we find out exactly where the replicator components were taken from."

She shook her head in annoyance. "And what'll that tell you?"

"There might be evidence of who took them."

"You don't think whoever did this is foolish enough to log in using their own name?!"

"Chief inspector Tuvok leaves no stone unturned. I'll tell the Captain what you told me. Somehow we'll try to clear this up soon."

Chakotay left Sick Bay, his heart heavy and uncertain, and met up with Tuvok around the corner.

"She said a Cardassian bone marrow transplant saved her life as a child," he reported.

"Did you set our plan in motion?"

He nodded.

"I gave Lieutenant Carey the same information."

"Now all we can do is wait," the commander added. "And hope someone takes the bait."

* * *

Sarah Janeway sat alone on the floor of the bedroom she shared with her mother. She had paper and drawing materials in front of her, but it wasn't anything more than a futile attempt to distract herself. She felt so vulnerable, so exposed, without that elusive, intuitive sense that had helped her as much as it had caused her trouble. She sat there, trying desperately to get it back. All her efforts thus far had been utterly fruitless, and by this point she was in tears. _I just want my mom, _she thought, sniffling miserably. _I know she has a job to do, but I just want her to come back!_

Just then, the doors to their quarters swished open.

She quickly rubbed at the tears in her eyes, not wanting to make her feel guilty. "Mama?" she called hopefully.

* * *

Later on, Chakotay and Tuvok sat in Engineering playing cards while B'Elanna stood nearby. They were waiting to see what would happen with their plan.

"Gin," Tuvok said, not for the first time.

Chakotay shook his head. "I never knew Vulcans had such a talent for cards."

"It is simply a matter of logical discards which give a false impression of my own requirements, and deny the needed cards to your hand. I believe that's 94 points to me." He entered the points into a PADD.

"If you ever need a sponsor in a gin tournament, let me know."

"We're picking up two more Kazon warships, about six hours away," B'Elanna interjected. "We're not going to be able to stay here much—" A buzzer suddenly cut her off.

"That sounds like a nibble to me," Chakotay said. They leaned into the screen and watched data files being manipulated and shuffled.

"Someone is accessing the inventory database," Tuvok remarked.

"And they went straight to the missing replicator material," B'Elanna said, unsurprised.

"Shall we start the trace now?" Chakotay wanted to know.

"Negative. It might alert them."

"They're entering data."

"Intriguing. It appears as though they're trying to place evidence at the scene of the crime to indicate the guilty party."

"They're entering an encrypted security code into the materials requisition file."

"That would suggest they're hiding it, but not very well."

"Anybody know who that security code belongs to?"

"I do," Chakotay said. "It's Seska's."

"Then it has to be Carey," B'Elanna replied. "Carey is trying to point the finger at Seska."

* * *

Chakotay entered a dimly lit Sick Bay, his heart heavy and his soul sick. He watched Seska dozing on the biobed for a minute before he was able to speak up.

"It's over. We know who gave technology to the Kazon."

She opened her eyes, stretched, and sat up. "Who?" she asked curiously.

He forcibly suppressed his inner pain as best he could. "You did."

"Look, I don't know what evidence you think you've found but—"

"We found the evidence you put there for us to find: your own security code."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"We already knew where the stolen materials had been taken from before I met with you. We were monitoring the inventory manifest, hoping either you or Carey would try to cover your tracks."

"Hell of a way for me to cover my tracks, putting in my own security code for you to find!" she said indignantly.

"That's exactly what you did. You knew no one would believe you could be that careless. You wanted us to believe that someone else was trying to frame you."

"Ever consider that maybe someone was?"

"We traced the computer station used to enter the data. Oh, you took us all around the system and back again before we could locate the source, but it was this station, in Sick Bay."

The lights abruptly came on and Captain Janeway entered with Tuvok and two security guards.

"I'd almost say it was a Maquis operation," Chakotay continued. "If I didn't already know you were a Cardassian. Computer, activate emergency medical holographic program."

The Doctor materialized. "Ah, have I been called to testify?"

"Before you even mentioned Orkett's Disease to me, the Doctor had already discounted that as a possible explanation for your blood anomalies."

"And may I say: a doctor less informed about Bajoran medicine might've been fooled, but my program includes the complete Bajoran medical text on Orkett's Disease. There's no way any childhood virus or Cardassian bone marrow transplant can explain away the genetic markers in your blood. You are Cardassian, ensign."

"But that didn't necessarily make you the traitor we were looking for. We needed more evidence, and you gave it to us." Chakotay shook his head at his former lover, still not quite able to grasp the vast extent of her treachery. "The one thing I still can't understand is: why?"

Seska scowled. "I did it for you! I did it for this crew. We are alone here, at the mercy of any number of hostile aliens because of the incomprehensible decision of a Federation captain, a Federation captain who destroyed our only chance to get home. Federation rules...Federation nobility....Federation compassion?! Do you understand if this had been a Cardassian ship we would be home now? We must begin to forge alliances, and to survive we must have powerful friends. The Kazon-Nistrim were willing to be our protectors in return for some minor technology."

Kathryn crossed her arms and looked fiercely back at the traitorous ensign. "'Minor technology' that could change the balance of power in this quadrant."

"Change it in our favor! That is all that matters at this point—building a base of power in this Quadrant. You are a fool, captain," Seska spat angrily in response. She turned to Chakotay and wounded him with, "And you're a fool to follow her." She saw the hurt in his eyes, and added, "I can't imagine how I ever loved you." She turned back to Kathryn Janeway, sheer hate in her own eyes. "Have you checked your quarters lately, captain? Maybe next time you'll be a little more willing to work with us. Computer, command XJL!"

She started to beam out.

"Computer, override transport in progress!" Chakotay yelled.

"Unable to comply. Security lockout is in place," the Computer replied.

"Computer, identify destination of transport," Janeway called out, Seska's words ringing in her ears. _What does she mean? What about my quarters?_

"A Kazon vessel fourteen kilometers off the port bow," the Computer responded to the question she had voiced.

"Bridge to Janeway," came Tom Paris' voice.

"Go ahead."

"The Kazon ship is powering up its engines. It looks as if they're getting ready to go to warp."

"Ready a tractor beam—"

"I've also got two Kazon warships on an intercept course less than ten minutes away," he interrupted via the comm system.

The meaning of Seska's words finally hit her amid the chaos. _Sarah_.

Chakotay saw the captain's face suddenly drain of all color and a fear leapt into her eyes and he too realized what Seska had meant.

"Captain, even with our superior defense capabilities we cannot prevail against three Kazon warships," Tuvok said.

"Computer locate Sarah Janeway!" she yelled, ignoring him for the moment.

"Sarah Janeway is in her quarters," came the too-calm computerized response.

"Power down the tractor beam and set a course out of here, Mr. Paris—warp four, engage when ready, Janeway out!" She was running out of Sick Bay before she had completely finished her sentence, Chakotay right behind her. _No, not Sarah! No no no!_

They reached her quarters in record time that felt like years. She pushed between the automatic doors that opened too slowly. "Sarah!!"

The little girl was sprawled on the floor, her dark hair fanned out like a curtain as her small body seized and her eyes rolled back in her head. There was a bloody foam around her mouth.

Kathryn knelt by her daughter's side as Chakotay yelled, "Medical emergency! We need a site-to-site transport _now_!"

The trio immediately materialized back in Sick Bay. Chakotay scooped up the child and gently placed her on the main biobed.

"What happened?" the EMH demanded.

"We found her like this, I don't know!" the captain answered, hovering over her daughter's mainly still form. There was an unnatural pallor to her skin, and it was cold to the touch. "Sarah! Sarah, can you hear me?!"

The Doctor started yelling to Kes for instruments and tried to get the captain away from the biobed. "Please, captain! I need room to work!"

She wouldn't move. "Sarah? Sarah!"

Chakotay gently took Kathryn by the shoulders and pulled her away. She didn't fight him, but put one hand over her mouth in horror as her daughter continued to writhe every so often. The Doctor and Kes buzzed around the biobed with instruments, him yelling numbers, observations, symptoms and her scurrying to help and trying to comfort the little girl.

The commander closed his eyes in pain. Not only had the woman he loved betrayed him completely, but she had gone out of her way to hurt two people he cared about deeply, one an innocent child. _How could you Seska? How could you?_ It was too much to take in at once. He was overwhelmed, but he kept his hands on the captain's shoulders, trying to give her any strength he could. _I am so sorry._

It was several minutes before the Doctor stopped dashing from monitor to monitor and grabbing instruments. He came over to the two of them.

"I managed to stabilize her," he said quietly. "But she's in a coma."

"What happened?" Kathryn's voice was angry and fearful at the same time.

"She was injected with a variant of the nerve toxin that the Culluh's associate used on our former Kazon patient. It's a wonder she survived."

"Seska." The captain's face was dark.

The EMH nodded slowly. "I'm afraid so."

"How did she get out of here without anyone knowing?!"

"I haven't worked that out yet."

"Is she…" Chakotay couldn't finish the sentence.

"As I said, she's stable for now but comatose. However, I can't bring her out of it. I don't know enough about this particular substance to create a treatment. And even if I did, it may not be enough for her to fully recover. There is a high potential for permanent damage to her brain and central nervous system."

"How did she survive?" Kathryn asked, fighting to stay calm. _You're still the captain—hold it together._

The Doctor opened his mouth and paused for a moment before he replied, trying to find the easiest way to tell her. "It appears…that the dose was…calculated."

"Calculated?"

"She was given just enough to reduce her to…this state. I don't believe Seska was trying to kill her."

"Then what?"

He paused again. "I will use every resource at my disposal, but the best hope for your daughter is…to find someone with firsthand knowledge of this poison."

No one had to say anything because they were all thinking it.

The Kazon.

_This is what she meant by cooperation…and next time…_

* * *

Chakotay cornered Tuvok later in the Mess Hall. Besides the horrific attack on the captain's daughter, he couldn't get something out of his head.

"Can I ask you to be honest with me, lieutenant?" he asked.

"As a Vulcan, I'm at all times honest, commander." Even for a Vulcan, he seemed somewhat muted and despondent. News about Sarah had spread quickly throughout the ship.

"That's not exactly true. You lied to me when you passed yourself off as a Maquis to get on my crew."

"I was honest to my own convictions within the defined parameters of my mission."

He snorted. "You damned Vulcans and your 'defined parameters'. That's easy for you."

"On the contrary. The demands on a Vulcan's character are extraordinarily difficult. Do not mistake composure for ease. How may I be honest with you today?"

"I'd just like to know from someone else who pulled the wool over my eyes: Was I particularly naive? Was I not paying enough attention? What the hell was it that let all you spies get by me?"

"Like all humans, you depend on feelings and instincts to guide you, and they invariably let you down. But 'particularly naive'? No, commander, and I've always considered your attention span to be adequate."

"Did you ever see anything about Seska that made you suspicious?"

"No. She quite expertly pulled the wool over my eyes as well."

"Ah. That makes me feel a little better. Thanks." He turned to leave.

"Curious."

"What?" He turned back.

"That my failure added to your own should improve your feelings."

Chakotay half-attempted a smile. "Misery loves company, Tuvok."

* * *

Kathryn was lying on the couch in her ready room because she couldn't stand to sleep in her quarters without her daughter there. It was too quiet and it reminded her too much of everything she'd done wrong. She was too tired to be angry at anyone but herself. _Why did I ever agree to let her come along? Too much risk, too much liability for her, for me, for this ship and this crew! I try to split my attention and everyone ends up losing. _She cursed herself out, silently, as tears began slipping down her cheeks.

_I am so sorry…_

* * *

Author's Note: Well, this is my first big break from the original flow of things in the show, as you'll see better illustrated in the next chapter. I know it ended on a pretty depressing note, but it will improve, I promise. I'm going to be trying some more new things in the upcoming installments. Thanks to all of you who continue to stick with me!


	15. Heroes and Demons

_Disclaimer: All characters, vessels, science, the original plot, and dialogue belong to Paramount with the exception of Sarah Janeway, the new parts of the plot, and anything else that is my creation._

**Summary: **Having her young daughter with her aboard Voyager creates a complex set of responsibilities and challenges for Captain Janeway. They and the crew work at adjusting to life in the Delta Quadrant...

**Chronology: **Season one, episode twelve "Heroes and Demons"

**Pairings: **None right now.

**Rating: **T for situations and probably some mild cursing.

**Author's Note:** As you may have noticed, I've updated my pre-story info format. Change can be good. I hope this will be helpful both to my wonderful readers and myself.

Yet again, I apologize for how long it has taken me to get off my lazy butt and actually type up a new chapter. I'm in the process of creating an update schedule so that I only work on two or so stories at a time. Hopefully this will feel less overwhelming and encourage me to write more often. Of course, I still have my college schedule and homework to contend with, so I can't promise anything. But I do think it should make a difference. Thank you so much for your continued readership!!

As aforementioned, I'm trying to have many episodes be character-centered on someone other than Sarah or Captain Janeway. (Of course, they won't be completely left out, but I am trying to expand the horizons of the story) This episode's lucky character is the Doctor! He's always a fun one to write about. Hope you like it!

Also, I need to announce that I am no longer hosting the contest about guessing Sarah's father. Sorry! I put it up years ago in what I believe was a pathetic attempt to solicit more reviews. -headdesk- Argh, I was such a dork. But so yeah, I don't need any more guesses, and I won't be writing in a character from the winner. I was being a total dork and it would be too difficult to write in a new character of someone else's creation. I am so sorry. I really hope this new chapter helps make up for it!

* * *

**Anomaly**

'_Heroes and Demons'_

Kathryn Janeway sat alone in her quarters, huddled on the couch in the dark. She was doing something she hadn't allowed herself to do in years.

She was crying. Hard.

As captain, and as a mother, it was her duty to remain strong and exude confidence. She could not afford to show signs of weakness. But after Seska's brutal attack on Sarah and subsequent escape, Sarah's barely stable comatose condition, the unspoken concerns of the crew for her ability to lead them as emotionally compromised as she was, and now the hopefully temporary loss of Harry, Chakotay, and Tuvok, she couldn't keep everything bottled up inside any longer.

Life without Sarah around had been torture. She feared for her daughter's life, but she had a ship to run. She tried to create a balance that satisfied her duties and somewhat soothed a mother's aching heart, but she could tell half the crew thought she spent too much time in Sick Bay while the other half thought she visited too infrequently, given the dire situation. Chakotay had been a blessing, but there was only so much he could do.

And now he was gone too.

It should have been a simple detour, a simple investigation. They'd altered course to examine some oddly intense photonic activity in a protostar not very far off their original course. She and B'Elanna had beamed aboard some samples for closer analysis. The photonic matter had very promising implications for increasing the efficiency of the ship's power converters between fifteen and twenty percent. Preliminary analysis was going to take about six hours, so she'd suggested to B'Elanna that she could get Harry Kim to assist her. He was off-duty and using his free time in the Holodeck, but she knew how much he enjoyed investigating new phenomena. However, when she tried to contact via the comm system, he didn't respond. And when she asked the computer, it informed her that Ensign Kim was no longer aboard the ship.

A cold clench of fear settled in her stomach when she heard those words, but she forced herself to remain calm until they knew for sure what was going on. On the bridge, Tuvok informed her that there was no evidence of unauthorized transporter activity and all the shuttlecraft were all accounted for. Chakotay told her that no one had seen Harry since his shift had ended over four hours ago, and that he was scheduled for time in Holodeck 2. Tuvok tried to scan the room, but several alerts went off. There was too much interference for a clear scan but it didn't act like it was a system malfunction, so she had Chakotay and Tuvok go to investigate. They had examined the controls of the Holodeck and found no overt problems, other than the fact that they couldn't shut it down. They had then entered the holodeck and found a holonovel of Beowulf running. They had spent several minutes inside before they contacted her with an update, saying that they hadn't found any definite signs of Harry, who had been portraying Beowulf himself, but they'd encountered many characters who claimed to know what happened to him—he'd tried to battle a monster called Grendel and was killed in the process. The fear she'd felt earlier intensified, though Chakotay added that they hadn't found a body. They'd need to shut down the system if they wanted to know for certain if he was there or not. She had asked them to run a diagnostic on the imaging control systems, repair them if they weren't working, and relay their tricorder scans to the bridge so that she could monitor and analyze the readings.

Once she and B'Elanna had run the analysis, she contacted Chakotay via comms to inform him that a deep level scan showed minute quantities of photonic energy in the holodeck, which B'Elanna believed was the result of their beaming aboard the samples from the protostar—there had been a breach in the annular confinement beam that must have allowed the energy to leak into the transporter system, and from there into other ship systems as well. They had found some photonic energy in the replicators. Tuvok had responded by raising the uncomfortable possibility that if the holodeck's conversion nodes were contaminated, Harry might have inadvertently undergone the process of matter conversion. She'd agreed that they needed to consider the possibility that he had been converted into energy, though the holodeck wasn't supposed to convert people, only programs.

It was then that Chakotay announced that an object approximately one meter in size was approaching, probably Grendel. Tuvok suggested a close analysis of the creature would be beneficial, and she had allowed him to proceed. B'Elanna suddenly said that she was picking up signs of matter-energy conversion, and she immediately ordered an emergency transport to get her officers out of there.

But her chief engineer couldn't get a lock. There was a loud shaking noise over the comm system, then nothing. She'd desperately tried to raise them, almost yelling their names. No response. B'Elanna quietly said that their lifesigns were gone.

And just like that, she'd lost half her senior officers.

She'd set up a briefing for those that were left, scheduled for two hours later. That gave B'Elanna and the engineering staff to make sense of all the data they'd gathered, and it gave her time to go to her quarters and let herself cry without being seen. She felt weak, like she had failed as a captain. Normally she wouldn't have let it phase her, but it was just one more straw on the weary camel's back. Her daughter was lying on a biobed in the dim back section of Sick Bay, half dead, machines keeping her tenuously attached to the living. She was fighting to keep the emotional strain from affecting her abilities as captain, but the mother in her screamed with pain every time she had to leave her little girl to take care of _Voyager_. Now in addition to that, she had lost her first officer, tactical officer and best friend, and communications officer, all within the space of a few hours. The emotional turmoil was almost unbearable, and she felt that if she didn't just let it out, it was going to consume her and really make her an unfit captain.

As the wracking sobs slowly receded from her body, she rolled over onto her back and stared at the ceiling as she began to wipe the tears from her face. Not for the first time, she began silently apologizing to everyone. _None of this would be happening if I'd used the array…I saved the Ocamapa from being abused by the Kazon, but in the process I may have killed my own daughter and three crewmembers…I'm sorry…I am so sorry…_ She pulled a framed picture from the table next to the couch and gently rubbed her thumb over the glass, caressing the image of her daughter at age three. Sarah's hair was pulled into high pigtails and she was wearing a pale pink dress, grinning at the camera for all she was worth. Kathryn was plenty old enough to know better than to complain about life's lack of fairness, but it was still difficult to accept.

After a few minutes, she was able to sit up and make her way to the bathroom to wash her face. She forced herself back into captain mode, regaining her composure quickly with the skill of years of emotional discipline. It was time to form a plan. She refused to accept defeat. Her breaking point had been met and dealt with and now she was going to fix things.

* * *

Kathryn Janeway joined B'Elanna Torres and Tom Paris in the briefing room at the scheduled time. From the looks on their faces, she could tell that they too were well aware of how conspicuously empty the room was.

B'Elanna immediately punched in some commands on the wall computer display. An image of a straight-lined horizontal grid flanked by two wavy twisted grids appeared on the screen. "This is a scan of the holodeck," she explained, indicating certain areas of the image. "Just before we lost contact with Chakotay and Tuvok. The readings are pretty garbled but I'm still inclined to think there's a malfunction in the holodeck matter conversion nodes."

"Photonic energy leaking into the subsystems could certainly damage the nodes," the captain mused aloud. "And it might have created a defect in the program that occurs when Grendel shows up."

"A defect that dematerialized our people."

Tom shook his head. "I'm not willing to accept the fact that Harry and the others are gone for good. The molecular patterns might still be there, and if they are we might be able to rematerialize them. The only thing we can do is go back into the holodeck, study this energy surge, find out exactly what happened."

"Anyone who goes back in there might wind up just like the others," B'Elanna pointed out. The wordless agreement in the room was that they couldn't afford that.

Tom paused for minute, thinking, with his chin rested in his palm. Suddenly, he looked up at the chief engineer and the captain. "Maybe not anyone…"

* * *

The three of them confronted the Doctor in Sick Bay, Kathryn doing her best not to look at the tiny prone figure draped with a small blanket on a biobed in the back of the room.

"Me?" was all he could say, surprised and confused.

"A hologram can't be converted into energy," Tom explained. "It already is energy. You're the perfect choice."

"How do you intend to transfer me out of Sick Bay?"

"We'll have to modify your data stream protocols and imaging systems," Kathryn took over. "But the fact that you're going to the holodeck simplifies things. The projection systems are already in place there."

B'Elann added, "And we're going to give you complete control of your magnetic containment field. You'll be able to make yourself solid or let matter pass through at will."

"Nothing on the holodeck will be able to touch you unless you want it to."

"I see," the Doctor replied, his voice soft and uncertain.

Kathryn sighed silently, crossed her arms, and fixed him with a steady gaze. "Think of this as your first away mission, Doctor. I can understand your hesitation. But there are three lives at stake, and you have the best chance of anyone on this ship to save them. Do you understand that?"

He looked up at her and nodded. "Yes."

"Good." Her voice remained in command mode. "Your job is to find the photonic energy surge and study it closely. We need all the data we can get. You'll have to interact with the characters in the holonovel, so make sure you're familiar with the 'Beowulf' story. Your circuit modifications will be finished in three hours."

"Yes, captain."

She nodded to him and the other officers. The Doctor started to head for his office and Torres and Paris left Sick Bay.

Despite her best efforts, she couldn't leave with them.

She began wandering towards the back corner of the room, almost hesitantly. She couldn't take her eyes off the small body on the biobed, and without really noticing, she found herself standing next to the bed, looking down at her young daughter. Sarah was unnaturally pale, almost seeming to fade into the structure beneath her, a phenomenon enhanced by the rich teal of the little medical gown her small body was swaddled in. Her arms fell loosely to her sides on top of a silvery blanket. Her dark curls lay limp against the grey fabric of the bed, and a pinkish dappled rash encircled her throat and crept up her cheeks, a side effect of the nerve toxin Seska had injected her with. In a whisper, Kathryn cursed the name of the Cardassian agent who'd betrayed them all and harmed her innocent child.

She heard and then saw the Doctor approach. Taking one of Sarah's cold, limp hands into her own and pressing it beneath her other in a vain attempt to share some of her own life energy with the girl, she quietly asked him, "How is she?"

"Stable," he replied, in an equally hushed tone. It was the same answer he'd given her for the past week and a half.

She nodded thoughtlessly.

"Captain."

She turned.

His gaze was now intense and authoritative, as hers had been when she had given him the assignment to investigate the strange energy on the holodeck. "I assure you, Mr. Paris and Kes will both be fully briefed and prepared to deal with any medical event concerning your daughter while I am on the holodeck."

So he'd known her secret fear. She nodded somewhat curtly to avoid succumbing to her emotions and stepped away from the biobed. "I trust you, Doctor. Just concentrate on your mission. We need to find the three missing crewmen." With that, she left Sick Bay.

* * *

The Doctor watched her leave and headed back to his office with a sigh. The situation with the Janeway child was unpleasant to say the least. He was frustrated by his inability to improve her condition, and he could see the toll it was taking on her mother, furthered complicated by the fact that her mother was the captain. Logically, he could understand the struggle Captain Janeway faced as she attempted to deal with all the demands of leading a ship full people while her daughter was lying injured and mostly alone. Biologically, he understood the bond between a mother and child. But really he understood nothing—emotionally, personally.

And then there was the matter of the sudden assignment to an away mission of sorts.

Attempting to get back to the task at hand, he seated himself in his office and called out, "Computer, access full text of ancient Earth 'Beowulf' including historical annotation and cultural references."

The computer acquiesced, announcing, "_Data compilation in progress_."

"Doctor." Kes was standing in the doorway.

"Ah, Kes. Come in. I don't know how long I'll be gone, but my absence is no reason to suspend your studies. How are you doing with the protein synthesis text?"

"I finished it yesterday."

"Good. Then you may as well start learning how to operate the base pair sequencer. You'll find the manual in the technical database. Also, I'm preparing a full report of all material and notes related to the condition of the captain's daughter. Please make yourself intimately familiar with the data. It is highly unlikely anything will change, but I want both you and Mr. Paris to be fully prepared in the event of an emergency."

"Of course Doctor."

He began scanning the text of Beowulf, then noticed Kes was still standing there.

"Was there something else?"

"There's something bothering you."

"Not at all. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a great deal of preparation to do."

"You're nervous about this mission, aren't you?"

"Nervous? I can perform emergency surgery without being nervous. I can make life or death decisions about patients without being nervous. What makes you think I'm nervous?"

"Those things are familiar to you. You've been programmed to do them but this is different, isn't it?"

He slowly pulled his hands away from the computer as he realized she was exactly right. He sighed. "I can describe every detail of every piece of equipment in this Sick Bay, from biobed to neurostimulator. But I've never even seen a sky or a forest, let alone Vikings and monsters. I can't afford to fail, but I don't know what to expect in that holodeck."

"You've been telling me that you deserve to be treated like a member of the crew. Well, here's your chance. And I can tell you that none of the crew knows exactly what to expect when they go on an away mission." She paused before she gently asked another question. "Doctor, have you chosen a name for yourself yet?"

"I have narrowed the list to three possibilities," he admitted.

"Then let me suggest you choose one before you go. It might help you feel more like a Starfleet officer."

"Hmm. You may be right. I'll give it some thought. And Kes...thank you."

She smiled. "Good luck."

* * *

Too quickly, the Doctor found himself standing near Mr. Paris as they prepared to transfer his program to the holodeck.

Tom tapped his commbadge. "Paris to Janeway. We're ready for the transfer, captain."

"_Good. Go ahead._"

He turned to the doctor. "How about you, Doctor? You ready?"

He tried his best to look confident. "Of course."

"I've already transported a tricorder onto the holodeck. Engaging transfer circuits…now."

The Doctor's program shimmered out of existence in Sick Bay, then shimmered back into form in a dark forest in the Holodeck. He looked around, not sure what to expect and not entirely sure what he was seeing. He'd seen images of forests and trees and other landscapes, but actually being on location was another thing entirely. He took a few tentative steps around, and found the tricorder Tom had placed there. He picked it up just as the captain contacted him via comms once again.

"_Is everything all right, Doctor?_"

He tapped his commbadge and assured her, "Yes. There were no problems with the transfer. I'm on my way."

He had only taken a few more steps along a small dirt path, marveling at his surroundings, when a spear suddenly whistled past his head and lodged itself in a nearby tree. A young woman with long blonde braids, a stern but lovely face, and blue eyes, clothed in rough woolen garments of varying shades of brown, a metal chest plate, and a metal helmet stood facing him, a sword drawn and raised menacingly in his direction.

"Speak as a friend or stand challenged!" she announced in a rich, loud voice, touched with a bit of an accent. "I am—"

"You're Freya, the King's daughter," he interrupted, pleased that he recognized her from his research. "A female warrior known as a shield maiden."

She looked slightly uncertain. "We have never met and yet you know my name? Are you a sorcerer?"

"No," he assured her quickly. "It's simply that your reputation proceeds you, a warrior of your skill. You're quite famous where I come from."

She was clearly flattered. "I did not know that word of my deeds has carried to other lands. Tell me what you have heard."

"Well, your battle with…" He hesitated, that bit not having come up in his research.

"Scyld the Gar-Dane?" she supplied eagerly.

He nodded, thankful she'd provided something, and he finished, "...is practically legend, an incredible story!"

"I burned his hall to the ground. There was nothing left but ashes." She grinned proudly.

"Charming."

"And did you hear of my campaign against the Heatho-Bards to the south? I fought them for—"

"I'd be delighted to hear all about it, but I'm on an urgent mission of my own. I'm looking for Grendel."

"Only a warrior would seek that which others flee. What is your name?"

"I'm glad you asked. My name is Schweitzer, Dr. Schweitzer." It was the first time he'd spoken his choice aloud. Somehow, it really made it seem real.

"Schweitzer—a hero's name. Come! I will take you to the King." They set off down the path together. "The hall is not far from here…Look!" she suddenly announced, pointing to a plant and kneeling to the forest floor, where she began to gather some of it. "Fortune is with us. Atuta, a most powerful plant."

Concerned, the Doctor asked, "What exactly do you intend to do with it?"

"We brew the atuta into a broth which we drink before battle. It brings on the spirit of the bear. It gives us strength to swing our swords."

He frowned as he examined a specimen of the plant. "It's more likely to bring on profuse sweating, convulsions and acute delirium. This is an amanita muscaria, a fungus common to sub-arctic climates and, let me assure you, quite poisonous."

"Yes, but those it does not kill it makes strong. A most hardy plant. Are you a master of herblore?"

"Well, in a way, I suppose I am."

"You are truly a man of many talents, Lord Schweitzer. Your people must value you greatly."

"You would think so…"

* * *

As they continued their walk to the hall, the Doctor, Schweitzer, found himself using every excuse he could to turn and look at Freya. The trees, the ground, the sky, the animals; they were all completely foreign and new to him, but somehow they couldn't capture his attention the way this shield maiden did. She really was striking, her features delicate and feminine but also with an edge to them that distinguished her as a fighter. It had been weeks since he'd seen anyone outside of the crewmembers, and even then, the others he'd encountered had been aliens, and none of them had captivated him like this. He knew she was a fictional character, but there was just something about her that affected him in a way he couldn't define. It was a strange, but pleasant feeling.

Too soon, they had reached the hall, where Freya flung open the doors and announced, "Hail, Lord Hrothgar! I bring a new friend - Schweitzer, who has come to destroy Grendel. Greet him well."

Lord Hrothgar was fairly old, with long white hair and an equally long white beard. He was draped in furs and brown cloth and a simple metal band encircled his head. "I would bid you welcome to my hall but the days of glad tidings are gone from this place," he replied in a weary voice.

"I'm sorry to hear that. But with your permission, sir, I would like to stay here tonight and wait for Grendel."

"To what purpose?!" snarled another warrior, not quite as old as Hrothgar, but with an equal beard and head of hair. He wore a helmet somewhat like Freya's and was clad primarily in leather. The Doctor recognized him as Unferth. "To raise false hopes again, as have others before you? Leave us alone in our misery!"

"I'm afraid I can't do that," he apologized. "I have a mission."

"Your name means nothing to me. There are no songs of your deeds nor stories of the battles you have fought. Who are you to believe you can slay Grendel?"

"I'm simply a warrior. I'm only concerned with Grendel. I have no quarrel with you."

"Indeed you do. And if you will fight Grendel then you will first prove your worth to me!" He drew his sword and assumed a battle stance. "Defend yourself!"

He stood still and merely looked at the tip of the sword now pointed at his chest, disconcerted.

Freya drew her own sword and offered it to him. "Fate be with you."

Not knowing what else to do, he reluctantly accepted it and it nearly dragged him to the floor. It weighed far more than he'd anticipated. He wasn't programmed to fight or lift heavy equipment. His hands were surgeon's hands.

Still, he'd accepted this mission and three crewmembers' lives depended on him. He did his best to ignore the scornful looks and noises from the rest of the people in the hall and tried to defend himself as Unferth attacked. He poorly deflected a few blows, through luck rather than skill.

Unferth laughed. "If this is your best then you should thank me. Grendel would destroy you with far greater ease than I!"

He glanced over to see Freya watching him with concern. He suddenly made a decision. "This is absurd," he announced, and laid the sword on a nearby bench. He straightened back up, facing the warrior unarmed. Now noises of surprise echoed off the stone walls.

"So be it!" Unferth gave a shout and raised his sword high to cleave the Doctor in two.

But his sword merely whistled through the air, barely disturbing the Doctor's hologram, and clanged loudly and heavily to the ground.

Unferth cried out in pain, clutching a badly bruised hand, as the others cried out in amazement. The Doctor leaned over him and offered matter-of-factly, "You might want to put some ice on that. It'll take down the swelling."

Freya was grinning broadly with pride. "Our time of deliverance is at hand," she proclaimed in a loud voice. "We have been given a new champion, one whom weapons cannot hurt, the one who will destroy Grendel and end our suffering. All hail the hero! All hail, Schweitzer!"

The rest of the hall took up the cry, pumping their arms in the air. "_Schweitzer! Schweitzer! Schweitzer! Schweitzer! Schweitzer! Schweitzer!_"

The Doctor…Schweitzer…stood in surprise, letting the cheering wash over him.

* * *

At dinner later that evening, Schweitzer sat in the place of honor at the king's right hand. He experienced eating for the first time, a large hunk of meat called elk. They encouraged him to entertain him with a tale of his prowess in battle, but he'd never been a storyteller before and the closest thing to a tale of battle that he could relate was preventing an outbreak of Parinisti measles from becoming an epidemic. Most of the warriors look confused, Unferth was thoroughly unimpressed and rather disgusted with the poor showing, but the king was far more tolerant, calling it a unique tale. After dinner, he allowed the king to show him around a little, all the while insisting all he needed was to find Grendel.

After a while, Unferth broke in grumpily. "My Lord, it grows late. It is time to retire."

"Always with you it is time to sleep! Perhaps you have forgotten that the work of a warrior is battle, not rest. You would do well to learn from Lord Schweitzer."

Uferth looked, if it was possible, even angrier now that his reputation as a warrior had been questioned. But he held his tongue against the king.

"This was a beautiful hall once, before Grendel," the king told him in a quiet, solemn voice. "You will make it so again. You have our thanks."

"I appreciate your faith in me, sire."

"You may have deceived them with your tricks, but the king is old and desperate for hope. And the rest are just fools!"

"You have nothing to worry about, Unferth. Once I'm done with Grendel, I'll be leaving."

"We shall see," he snarled. "The morning will prove if your deeds are as strong as your words." He left the hall with the king.

The other warriors slowly drifted away, but Freya lingered, raking up the fire. She had shed her helmet and her outer layers and now wore a simple white dress with short sleeves and some decorative stitching around the neck. There was a brown leather belt cinched around the middle and her blonde hair was now unbraided and loose around her shoulders. "The nights here are cold. I wanted to make certain you were comfortable."

"I appreciate your concern. I thought everyone had gone to sleep."

"Sleep does not come easily in this place, not any more. I was taught the world would end in winter. First there would be a desperate cold, followed by a demon who would devour the sun. It has been long since we felt summer, and a demon does walk these halls."

"Freya, your world isn't coming to an end."

"Perhaps not, but it has changed. Every night the monster comes, and every day our numbers are lessened, and no one will speak of it. No one speaks of the fear that he will be next. Each meal becomes quieter than the last, and after a time we barely speak at all. Do you know what it is to be alone among many, and unable to speak your fears?"

He drew near to the fire and stood beside her. He contemplated his position as a hologram among an all-organic crew and answered honestly, "I think I do."

"How do you survive?"

"I'm still learning how. I'm sure that's not very helpful."

"Sometimes I believe I can see the moment of my own death," she confessed. "It comes in battle, I think—my sword raised high. It is said that fate often spares a doomed warrior if his courage can prevail, but there have been days when I have felt my own courage falter." She looked up into his eyes. "And then you came."

"I'm…glad I could help."

"Perhaps I can help you." She drew much closer to him, their faces only a handful of inches apart. "Before combat it is most important to stay warm."

He didn't comprehend her intent. "Well, you've done an excellent job with the fire. I'm sure—"

She interrupted him by gently turning his face towards hers and pulling him into a deep kiss. When their lips finally broke contact, she murmured, "Fire is not the only heat, Lord Schweitzer. You know where I sleep."

With that, she left the hall. He could only stand still and watch her go, stunned and somewhat confused as to all the sensations swirling throughout his program.

It took several moments before he could focus again on his mission, and not a moment too soon. He pulled out the tricorder as a growling noise began just outside the doors of the hall. The doors began to shudder violently, and he could glimpse a white light on the other side of them. He began to take scans, and suddenly the latches gave way and Grendel burst through in blaze of shocking white-orange light.

"Holodeck to bridge."

"_We're monitoring you," _came the captain's voice.

Schweitzer watched as Grendel, composed of moving tendrils of light, felt its way around the hall entrance, moving in his direction. "Captain, I'm picking up readings of photonic energy…Captain, it's right in front of me. It's some kind of photonic energy formation."

He watched it for another moment, when one of the tendrils suddenly shot out and wound itself around his right arm. "Emergency! Get me out of here!"

"_Sick Bay, emergency transfer!" _Janeway ordered.

"_I'm on it!"_ Tom responded from Sick Bay. His hands flew over the controls, quickly entering the commands to recall their doctor. The EMH reappeared in the room next to the console, but most of his arm was missing. Tom stared in shock.

"_Sick Bay, report!"_

"Er, I have him, captain, more or less," the lieutenant replied. "I think you'd better come take a look at this…"

* * *

In the moments before the captain entered the room, Tom quietly reported to the Doctor as he worked to repair his arm, "We did have a situation with Sarah Janeway."

"What?!"

"I don't know what triggered it. Neither does Kes. She's been going over and over the biobed readings—"

"What happened?"

He paused before answering. "She quit breathing. Just…stopped. It was only for a minute, because Kes happened to be nearby when it happened. We got her restabilized and I don't believe she suffered any damage, but I think you should double check when you get a chance."

The Doctor nodded.

"Do you…think we should tell the captain?"

He considered the question. "No," he finally replied. "She has enough to worry about right now. I'll check her as soon as I can, but I trust you and Kes did everything you could."

The captain and B'Elanna Torres entered the room and the conversation stopped. Tom nodded to him, and the Doctor tentatively flexed the fingers on his replacement arm and hand.

"How's it feel?"

"Just like the old one, actually."

"Apparently, contact with photonic energy disrupted your magnetic cohesion," the captain explained. "But we're still not sure if that's what happened to the others."

B'Elanna called her over to the monitor display in the room. "Captain, take a look at this—the readings from the Doctor's tricorder, when the energy surge made contact with him."

Her eyes widened in surprise as she leaned over the console. "They're showing a synaptic pattern. I wouldn't expect to see something like this in photonic energy. Is this the first time those patterns have shown up like this?"

"Yes, but it's the first time we've had clear readings from a moment of contact. I wonder if I could produce these same patterns in the samples we have in Engineering."

"If you can, we might be able to get more information about how photonic energy damaged the Holodeck systems."

"I'm on it."

"I'll give you a hand," Tom added, and gave the Doctor a look.

He nodded.

As soon as the captain left the room with the others, he picked up a medical tricorder and went back to check on the Janeway child. She didn't look any different—still pale, still red around the neck, still so small and helpless on that biobed. A few scans were enough to confirm what Tom had told him. She had stopped breathing for approximately fifty-two seconds but had been resuscitated. There did not appear to be any damage to any of her body's systems, other than the damage to her lungs and central nervous system that had occurred previously with the injection of the nerve toxin. He sincerely hoped that the damage was not permanent, but he couldn't know that until they found some way to safely bring her out of the comatose state and develop an antidote to the toxin.

He sighed as he shut the tricorder. With all his medical knowledge, all he could do was keep her stable. He felt…inadequate. The situation on the Holodeck with Freya didn't exactly help him focus either. He couldn't remember having been so confused ever before.

* * *

In Engineering, Tom and B'Elanna were working with the samples she and the captain had brought on board earlier from the protostar.

"Ok," Tom said. "I've initiated a polarization field. I'm introducing it into the container…"

"We're getting a reaction."

"It's producing a synaptic pattern alright, highly complex—"

The sample, a small ball of rising and falling white light tendrils, suddenly broke free of its containment field and began flying around Engineering.

"What's that?!" B'Elanna shouted, moving away from it quickly.

"Whatever it is, it's cutting through the bulkheads!"

"Let's get a containment field around it."

"It's heading for deck 14 section C5."

Her fingers flew over the command console. "Ok, and I've got a containment field blocking it."

"Whoa, it's changing direction. It's like it's avoiding the containment field."

"Let's give it another try. Now it's blocked on three sides."

"Changing course, heading for the open side."

The chief engineer looked up at the conn officer. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Those synaptic patterns…could be some sort of neural net."

She nodded slowly. "We may be dealing with a lifeform."

"_Bridge to Engineering."_

"Torres here."

"_We're detecting an energy mass moving through the ship,"_ Janeway reported.

"Right. It broke through the sample container. Captain, it's showing the property of a lifeform."

"_A lifeform?"_

"It seems to have a neural net and it's demonstrating signs of intelligent behavior."

"It's cutting its way through the ship, heading for the outer hull. It'll breach in about fifteen seconds," Tom added over his should from a nearby console.

"_Are there any critical systems in its path?"_

"Negative."

"Then let it go. Be ready to seal the hull breach with a forcefield. I'll have a damage control team standing by for repairs. And let's track it on sensors when it gets out."

"Captain, it's penetrating the outer hull," Tom announced, some trepidation in his voice.

"Forcefield is in place," B'Elanna assured both of them.

"I'm showing the energy form 100 meters off our port side."

On the bridge, Captain Janeway ordered, "Let's get it on screen." The main viewer immediately blinked on, showing the small energy form racing away from the ship towards the protostar. When it made contact, it turned briefly into a regular shape and glowed brightly.

"What was that?!" she asked no one in particular.

* * *

She met the Doctor and Torres in Sick Bay where they examined a large monitor on the wall that displayed all the data, visual and textual, that they'd collected from the sensors and the Doctor's tricorder.

"It appears to be some kind of photonic lattice…" Kathryn Janeway mused.

"And it seems pretty clear that the energy form was trying to get back to it," B'Elanna added. "As though it's a shelter of some kind."

"Or maybe a transportation device—their equivalent of a ship. At any rate, we had sensor contact for a few seconds, and we picked up three distinct bio-electrical patterns inside it."

"Bio-electrical?" The Doctor looked at her, perplexed. "What are you suggesting, captain?"

"Think about it," she replied, indicating a set of the data. "We have three missing crewmen. Our best guess is that they were somehow converted into energy when they were on the Holodeck. We find no sign of them on this ship. Then we pick up three discreet patterns in the lattice, three patterns that don't match anything else in the lattice, and which have biological components. I don't think it's a stretch to hypothesize that those are our crewmembers, converted into a kind of photonic energy."

"But what are they doing over there? How did they get there?" B'Elanna asked.

"We have good evidence now that there are photonic beings that live in that protostar, lifeforms that have intelligence. We didn't know that when we beamed those energy samples on board. We had no idea that what we were doing in essence was capturing those lifeforms. We locked them in a containment field and began to experiment on them. If my people were taken like that, I know what my response would be. I would do whatever was necessary to get them back."

The Doctor nodded. "And you think they have simply retaliated against us?"

"Yes. These beings can manifest themselves on the Holodeck, in the matrix of a holocharacter. That's how they were able to take our crewmembers hostage."

"Captain, if you're right about this," he replied seriously. "Then we should return the remaining lifeform."

"A gesture, to show we mean well. It's certainly worth a try."

"If I took the lifeform onto the Holodeck and release it to Grendel, maybe they'll understand and release our people."

The captain bit her lip pensively for a moment. "Ordinarily, officers go through intensive training before they're put into a first contact situation, but you're the only one who can do this safely."

"I'd like to finish what I started, captain. I can do this."

"I agree." She turned to her chief engineer and instructed, "Make arrangements to transfer the lifeform to a container so that the Doctor can carry it." Turning back to the Doctor, she added, "But remember, if you're holding the container you'll have to stay in solid form."

"I understand."

* * *

Schweitzer was back on the Holodeck a few minutes later, carrying a small clear container with metal on either end. Inside, the photonic lifeform glowed, making the object look rather like a lantern. He stood in the dark wood, calling out the shieldmaiden's name. "Freya? Freya!"

Freya suddenly rushed out of the trees and ran to him, dressed once again as a warrior. They hugged each other tightly, both smiling widely with delight at finding each other once again.

"Lord Schweitzer! We thought the Grendel had taken you!"

He smiled. "Not entirely."

"How did you survive?"

"That would be difficult to explain. But that's not important right now." He indicated the sample container. "This a talisman to destroy Grendel—"

Unexpectedly, Unferth confronted them, his sword drawn, snarling, "You lie! No man could survive an encounter with Grendel unless he were in league with the beast. You have brought that talisman to destroy us all!"

"That is not true!" Freya declared. "He has returned to help us!"

"No! You speak his lies now? He has bewitched you!"

"Unferth, I need to get this talisman to the hall," Schweitzer interjected.

"Then that gives me reason enough to make sure it never gets there." He leapt forward and attacked, knocking Schweitzer and the container to the ground.

Freya immediately drew her own sword and leapt to his defense.

Schweitzer could only watch helplessly as he collected the container, which had rolled away. Their swords were mere flashes of light, clanging loudly with each violent contact. "Please! You don't know what you're doing!"

Unferth suddenly knocked his opponent to the ground where she lay stunned. Schweitzer was now standing, holding the container. The angry warrior confronted him. Schweitzer fearfully looked from the container to him and back, knowing how desperately important it was to protect it. Three lives likely depended on it.

"Prepare to die, demon!" Unferth growled, and he raised his sword to deliver the fatal blow.

Out of nowhere, Freya leapt between him and Schweitzer, taking the sword blow to her own chest in his place. She cried out and collapsed against Schweitzer. He dropped the container, and barely registered Unferth stealing it and running off. At that moment, he only had eyes for the young woman.

He gently lowered her to the ground and knelt over her dying form. "Freya…"

"My lord, my time has come."

"I'm so sorry…there's…nothing I can do."

"And it's a good death. Take my sword," she murmured with difficulty. "Stop Unferth and Grendel."

"I won't forget you," he promised in a whisper.

"Then I die happily, with your name on my lips. Farewell, Schweitzer…" Her eyelids drifted shut and just like that, she was gone.

For a moment, he couldn't move or think. He had barely known her, but she was the first outsider he'd ever met, and they'd had this connection…something he couldn't define, something he'd never felt before. It was confusing, and he knew it would take him a while to understand, but he'd give anything to be back in the thick of it once again. He knelt for a while on the cold, alien ground, strange animal noises and a soft breezes swirling around him and the trees in the darkness.

Then he stood. Her sacrifice would not be in vain. As she had instructed, he took her sword, holding it aloft in the dim light before setting off with determination.

Unferth was just presenting Hrothgar with the talisman when Schweitzer aggressively burst through the doors of the great hall. He strode in, ignoring everyone around, and stood before the king. "My lord." He faced him squarely, his voide deadly serious. "You know me as a true warrior. You know I am the one hope you have to rid your kingdom of Grendel. That talisman will aid me in my conquest. I must have it."

"Do not listen to him. He has already killed Freya," Unferth loudly announced to the hall.

Schweitzer's features became even grimmer as the warrior proclaimed this lie. He seized one of the flaming torches and advanced fearlessly on Unferth, who backed away until a table blocked his escape. Faced with this threat, he showed his true nature of cowardice as he called out, "Stop him, my lord! He is a madman!"

Having him thus cornered, he raised Freya's sword and placed the blade to Unferth's throat. "The only reason you won't die," he growled. "Is that I've taken an oath to do no harm." He held out his hand for the talisman, and the king handed it over with only the slightest hesitation.

He held the sample container in one hand and Freya's sword in the other as he stepped in front of the doors of the hall. "Grendel! I'm ready for you."

Immediately, the doors shook as they had before and a bright white light made of pulsating tendrils burst through and streamed towards him.

He barely heard the exclamations of the other warriors in the hall as they fell back away from this mysterious apparition. "I don't know if you can understand me," he added, firmly and loudly addressing what they called Grendel. "But watch! I'm setting this one free." He took the lid off the container and the lifeform inside immediately rushed out and was absorbed by the larger form composed of light. "There's no need for any more of this. Please, we ask you to return our crew."

On the bridge, B'Elanna reported, "Captain, the photonic lattice has re-appeared."

"Scanners, all sensors," the captain ordered.

"I'm reading a massive particle surge on our holodeck!"

"The lattice is gone again," Tom called.

The comm alert sounded, and the Doctor's voice came through. "Holodeck to bridge."

"_Go ahead, Doctor. What is it?"_

"We have them back, Captain, all three of them." He smiled at Tuvok, Chakotay, and Harry, who was still dressed as Beowulf.

He could detect a barely audible sigh of relief as the captain responded, _"Good work, Doctor."_

"Yeah, good work," said Harry, looking around in confusion. "Would you mind telling me where I was?"

* * *

_"Captain's log, stardate 48710.5. Since the return of our missing crewmen we've been unable to locate any further traces of the photonic aliens."_

In Sick Bay, Kathryn Janeway sat on the edge of the Doctor's desk in his office as they discussed the mission and his encounter.

"I don't know if the being understood language or just my behavior," he said, somewhat proudly and with curiosity. "It would've been interesting to pursue the relationship further."

She smiled at him. "It's one of the most exciting aspects of space exploration—meeting new species, establishing communication, sharing differences and similarities."

"I'm sorry none of that happened this time."

"But it did. It just didn't happen in very predictable ways. We did, if you think about it. We entered into conflict, communicated and eventually established a peace treaty with them." She stood, smiling at him again. "I'm placing a special commendation in the logs for exemplary performance by the Chief Medical Officer during his first away mission."

He was stunned, and honored. "Thank you, captain."

"I'd like to cite you by name. Kes tells me you've chosen one. Is that true?"

He paused, some of the pain he thought he'd moved past resurfacing. "I had…but I'm not sure I want to keep it. The last time I heard that name spoken was a rather painful one. I don't think I want to be reminded."

She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Sounds like you had quite an adventure on that holodeck, Doctor."

"Yes, I would say so…"

"Well, something tells me you haven't had your last one." She indicated the back part of Sick Bay with a nod of her head. "I'll just be a minute," she added quietly.

The Doctor nodded and walked over to a tray to organize some samples and get on with his duties while contemplating the profound change in his life, social status, and career, leaving the captain to spend some time with her daughter. Before, he'd only intellectually understood their bond, but after his short time with Freya, he thought he had a better grasp of the connection and how painful the loss could be, though he hoped that in the captain's case that loss would only be temporary.

Kathryn Janeway made her way to her daughter's biobed, head down, as she rehearsed what to tell her about the day's events. She always like to keep her informed of what was going on aboard the ship, though logically she knew the little girl couldn't hear her. It made her feel slightly better to pretend that she could. She would hold her hands and whisper apologies and pretend that she'd be better in the morning.

She looked up, prepared to begin their little ritual, and found an empty biobed.

Shocked, she froze and stared at only thing left on the bed, the sheet, now rumpled and hanging off the side. It took her several moments before she could yell, "Doctor!"

He came running over. "Captain, what's wrong?"

She turned to him, fear and panic in her eyes. "Where's Sarah?"

"What?"

"Where's my daughter?!"

He looked at the empty biobed, then back to the captain, startled. "I…I don't know. Mr. Paris and Kes didn't report any problems, and they certainly didn't report moving her…"

He began looking around Sick Bay as Kathryn shouted, "Computer, locate Sarah Janeway!"

"_Sarah Janeway is in Sick Bay_."

She exchanged a look with her chief medical officer. Almost tentatively, she called out, "Sarah?!"

They waited, breathless.

And then a small, raspy voice answered, "Mama?"

Kathryn dashed into the back area where her daughter had previously been laid out on a biobed and looked back and forth. Suddenly, she spotted her little girl curled on her side in a corner to the left of the room. She rushed to her side, clutched her to her chest, and murmured into her hair, "It's ok baby, I'm here now. I'm here now baby…"

"Mama," she weakly repeated. "Mama, it's ok."

Kathryn felt tears begin to run down her cheeks, this time from relief and happiness. "I know sweetie…"

The Doctor entered with a medical tricorder and began scanning her.

"Mama, what _happened_?"

She suppressed a small laugh of relief. "So much, baby. So very much."

* * *

**Author's Note: **Explanation of the end to follow, obviously. Thanks again to all of you!! I'm so glad some of you still want to read this story after so much time, haha. I hope I've done a decent job of letting another character take center stage for this episode, while still allowing for some development in the Janeway department. As promised, this episode ends on a much lighter note! I can't promise things won't get a little bleak in the next chapter, but it should have a bit of a lighter tone to it than this chapter or the last one. Once again, I thank you for your readership and reviews! Hope you enjoyed the update!


	16. Cathexis

_Disclaimer: All characters, vessels, science, the original plot, and dialogue belong to Paramount with the exception of Sarah Janeway, the new parts of the plot, and anything else that is my creation._

**Summary: **Having her young daughter with her aboard Voyager creates a complex set of responsibilities and challenges for Captain Janeway. They and the crew work at adjusting to life in the Delta Quadrant...

**Chronology: **Season one, episode thirteen "Cathexis"

**Pairings: **None right now.

**Rating: **T for situations and probably some mild cursing.

**Author's Note:** I am SO sorry once again. I really had hoped to get this up much earlier, but one thing after another got in the way, or I suffered from a lack of inspiration, or my laptop crashed for the umpteenth time. Grr. I'm also now taking two intensive writing classes, plus I'm the TA for a class, plus I have a psych class. So it's not like I'll have more free time anytime soon. Oddly enough, though, all the pressure lately has inspired me to start writing again with intensity! So keep your fingers crossed that it'll continue!

I had forgotten how much work it took to try and strike a balance between Captain Janeway being captain-ly and motherly. Hopefully I managed to make it work in this update. Unfortunately, I'm also an idiot and a terrible Voyager fan—I completely skipped over the episode "Emanations" and didn't realize it until now. I'm going to work it back in as the next episode, playing with chronology if I have to. Please bear with me.

As always, thank you so much for reading!

* * *

**Anomaly**

'_Cathexis'_

Kathryn Janeway sat on the end of her daughter's biobed, overjoyed to finally have her daughter back, more or less. The best theory they'd come up with to describe her sudden recovery was the fact that she'd regained consciousness at the same time that the phototonic lifeform from the protostar had returned Harry, Tuvok, and Chakotay. They'd hypothesized that the lifeform had further reciprocated their good will of the return of its brethren by healing the damaged individual it had sensed aboard the ship.

There was only so much it could do, though. While Sarah Janeway was now awake and talking, some of the damage to nervous system persisted and hampered her breathing, as well as her ability to walk. So she was confined to Sickbay, but she was able to talk and in decent spirits and Kathryn was ecstatic.

"Mama?"

The captain realized she'd been distracted and looked back down at her daughter. "Sorry sweetie. What is it?"

"When can I get out of here? I'm _so_ bored!"

Kathryn smiled. She'd expected her child to panic when she realized she couldn't walk, but while the girl had been upset, she'd pretty quickly taken it in stride, glad to be back amongst the conscious. She spent her time in Sickbay with books and movies and plenty of visitors, many members of the crew grateful to have the 'little mascot' back. But she was still four years old and full of energy with no way to release it.

"The Doctor's working hard to make you better, but it's going to take a while, ok?" She couldn't bring herself to say that their best hope for her full recovery was still to contact the Kazon.

Sarah began to say something, but instead broke into a fit of short wheezy breaths. Her mother rubbed her back as she coughed several times and finally managed to get it under control. Kathryn reached for one of the hyposprays the Doctor left nearby for such occurrences, but Sarah shook her head.

"I'm ok this time, mama."

Kathryn was about to ask her a question when she was interrupted by Harry Kim's voice over the comm system.

"_Bridge to Captain Janeway."_

"Go ahead, Mr. Kim."

"_I've got Commander Chakotay's and Mr. Tuvok's shuttlecraft on long range sensors but they're not responding to our hails. The shuttle's been badly damaged. I'm reading multiple hull fractures."_

"Lifesigns?"

"_Two, but they're very faint."_

"Beam them to Sickbay as soon as they're in range," she responded.

Sarah's face was suddenly frightened.

Her mother rested a hand on her arm and spoke in a low, even tone. "Sarah, we don't know what happened yet. You need to stay calm while we work on it, ok?"

She nodded, her eyes wide like a doe's.

Kathryn headed towards the main part of Sickbay, pulling closed a curtain they'd installed.

It took several minutes, but finally after her two crewmembers had been beamed into the room and examined, the Doctor straightened up from where he stood over Chakotay and announced, "They've each taken a blast to the head by some kind of energy discharge." He turned to Kes and added, "Cardial stimulator." She gave it to him, and he rested it on Chakotay's chest. "Mr. Tuvok has a serious concussion but it's nothing I can't handle. As for Commander Chakotay, all of the bioneural energy has been extracted from his brain." The hologram's face was grimmer than usual.

"Extracted?" the captain asked, incredulous.

"Yes, almost as if someone drained the energy from every single axon and dendron right down to the synapses. I can keep his heart beating and I can keep him breathing, but other than that there's nothing else I can do. He's brain-dead."

She could only stare at his prone form on the biobed as her entire being was enveloped in a numbing shock of sadness. To get him back, only to lose him again so quickly…

"Mama?" a small voice timidly called from behind the curtain.

She pretended she didn't hear. What could she say?

* * *

When Tuvok regained consciousness, he relayed what had happened. "The attack lasted no more than a few seconds but it was highly effective. I feel Commander Chakotay and I are fortunate to be alive."

"What happened with him?" Kathryn couldn't help but use a slightly softer tone than she normally would, despite her resolve to remain a professional leader. She was still trying to wrap her mind around the shocking reality of the situation.

"We had completed our trade mission with the Ilidarians. We were on course to the rendezvous point when we encountered a dark matter nebula. As we began a routine analysis, an unidentified ship emerged and attacked our shuttle."

"Any idea why?"

"No. They would not respond to our hails. We were hit by an energy discharge which penetrated our shields and filled the cabin. Commander Chakotay lost consciousness immediately and I was barely able to activate the auto-pilot before I was overcome as well."

"And the alien ship?"

"The last image I saw was the ship going back into the nebula. The details are difficult to remember."

"Can you tell me anything about the energy discharge—its modulation or phase distribution?"

"No, there was no time for detailed analysis. However, the shuttle's sensors may have recorded information that could be helpful. I will download the sensor logs."

Kathryn shook her head, still at a loss. "Why would someone want to extract his bioneural energy?"

"I don't know, but if I'm to have any hope of reviving him I must know precisely how his neurons were depleted. It'd be a great help if I could examine the weapon."

She bit her lip in resolve and nodded. "We're going back to that nebula, to try and find the ship that attacked you." She tapped her comm badge. "Janeway to bridge. Mr. Paris, prepare to lay in a new course. Mr. Tuvok will provide you with the coordinates."

_"Aye, captain."_

She indicated that Tuvok that he should follow her to the bridge, and added, "We'll keep you posted, Doctor."

She still had not told her daughter anything.

Tuvok examined the analysis readouts from the shuttle with the captain. "The energy discharge overloaded the shuttlecraft's central computer core. All sensor data has been erased."

She nodded with a frown. "Lieutenant Torres is in Sickbay now. When she reports, tell her to go over those damaged sensor logs with a fine tooth-comb to see if she can reconstruct any of the data."

"Aye, captain."

She turned to another screen. "Well, this is going to make things a little more difficult. I've been using the long-range sensors to analyze the nebula you discovered. It's sending out strong electromagnetic radiation. We won't be able to scan inside it. You know, it sounds to me like a perfect hiding place."

"I agree."

"I don't like the idea of going in there blind. Let me see if I can reconfigure the sensors to a multiphasic bandwidth." She tapped the panels, trying different controls. Her frown grew deeper the more she played with them.

"Is there a problem?"

"I've lost all sensor contact with the nebula… I don't understand. Wait a minute. We've altered course." Kathryn faced her helmsman from where she sat. "Mr. Paris?"

"Our new heading is 121 mark 6. We've completely come about, captain. But it wasn't me," he insisted.

"Mr. Kim, check the navigational computer. Who ordered the course change?"

The young ops officer did a quick check. "According to my readings, the command was issued from the conn."

"I'm telling you: it wasn't me, and the helm controls are working perfectly—no sign of a malfunction."

"Ensign, transfer helm control to your station and reset our original course."

"Course laid in."

Kathryn left her seat to stand at Tom's right shoulder. She did a quick visual survey of the control and didn't see anything immediately amiss. "Mr. Paris, I want you to run a full diagnostic on the conn station. See if you can isolate the problem."

"Aye captain." Tom shook his head as the captain walked away. "Don't start with me," he warned the console. "You're making me look bad."

The console had no reply.

* * *

Sarah lay silently on her biobed in the back room of Sickbay, in no pain for the time being but frustrated with her inability to move. She hid it from her mother as best she could. She didn't want to upset her. But it was so hard to just lie there day after day. The Doctor had explained what had happened to her in terms as gentle and basic as possible, and she now knew that she could very well be in Sickbay for a long time. It made it harder, but she appreciated having the knowledge. The two forces within her, the almost-baby and the almost-adult, were grappling again, and she sort of retreated into a third persona to wait it out.

She rolled over on her side, ignoring the odd and slightly panicky sensation she experienced when her legs didn't want to cooperate, and tucked her hands under her head. A little discomfort prickled her stomach, and this time it wasn't a physical thing. Sarah wondered why her mother hadn't said anything about what was wrong with Chakotay. Even clapping her hands over her ears, she'd been able to hear all the yelling and running and panic when Tuvok and Chakotay had been beamed back from their disabled shuttle. She'd heard Tuvok's voice later, but not Chakotay's. There had been whispers of his name, so he wasn't dead, but there was a cloud of anxiety in the periphery of everyone's interactions. She hadn't had the courage to ask the Doctor what was going on when he came to check on her, and she wasn't sure he would have told her anything if she had.

The Sickbay doors whooshed open then shut, and she heard light footsteps on the carpet. They didn't approach the back room or the office, and she didn't hear a voice or any medical equipment moving around, so she guessed someone had come in to visit Chakotay. She lay quietly, trying to still her breathing enough to hear the tiniest of noises in the other room. She felt a tightness in her chest for the commander, and a fear, and she suddenly really wanted to know what had happened. He'd been in to visit her right before the shuttle mission…

"Hey there," he smiled as he ducked into the back room and approached her biobed.

_Sarah smiled and tried to sit up to greet him, giving up when a wheezing fit overtook her. The commander's face creased with concern and took one of the hyposprays from the tray next to bed and gently applied it her neck._

_ "You ok kiddo?"_

_ She took a moment to allow the hyposprays effects to set in and drew in her several careful, slow, deep breaths. She nodded. "I'm ok. How are you?"_

_ "Well, I'm going on a shuttle mission soon with Lieutenant Commander Tuvok."_

_ "What for?"_

_ "We're meeting with a race called the Ilidarians to do some trading. Lieutenant Torres needs some raw materials for Engineering and they were recommended to us by Neelix." He pulled a PADD out of his pocket and tapped the touchscreen. "Ilidaria's a beautiful planet, too." He held it out to her._

_ Sarah took the PADD and struggled to get to a better position to look at it. Chakotay reached out and gently slid a hand under her back, lifting her up to a sitting position and cradling her against his side with one arm. She whispered a 'wow' as she observed the slowly revolving image of a pastel green and blue and purple planet, the various colors beautifully bleeding into one another in thin bands. "What's all the purple?"_

_"Earth's vegetation is overwhelmingly green, but Ilidaria has a species of something sort of like grass that's the shade of purple and essential to the planet's ecosystem. It takes up almost forty-eight percent of the planet's surface and provides food for most of the planet's herbivores, a source of income for thirty percent of the planet's inhabitants, and a habitat for some of the most unique creatures in the system."_

_She smiled. "It's pretty!"_

_Chakotay smiled at her enthusiasm. "I thought so too."_

_They looked at the pictures some more together, and Sarah asked, "When will you be back?"_

_"I don't think it'll take too long. Maybe a day or two."_

_Sarah tried not to look disappointed, but didn't hide it very well. Besides her mother and the Doctor, Chakotay was her most frequent visitor._

_Chakotay smiled reassuringly and patted her back. "Maybe it won't even take that long. Here, I have something for you."_

_"You do?"_

_"Close your eyes and hold your hands."_

_She complied, smiling excitedly. "What is it?"_

_He laughed. "Hold on." He reached into his pocket and placed a small black object in her cupped palms. "Ok, open your eyes."_

_She opened them and brought the object close to her face to examine it. It was a small, black polished stone, carved into a bear standing on four paws. "Wow. It's so real."_

_"Do you like it?"_

_"I love it. It's so pretty. What's it for?"_

_"The bear is a protector, a symbol of strength." He tipped his head down to meet her eye level. "I know things look difficult, but you've done such a good job of holding on and being brave. This bear is a reminder of what you're capable of, and the fact that you aren't alone. You have many protectors."_

_"Like you?"_

_The commander smiled. "Like me."_

_"Thank you Chakotay." Sarah petted the bear's tiny head. "I'll remember that."_

Less than twenty-four hours later, he was laying on another biobed in Sickbay, silent, and from what she could surmise, very very sick. Tears prickled her eyes, but she bit down hard on her lower lip, forcing the sadness back down inside, heeding the Doctor's warning that crying would be difficult on her lungs and could likely trigger another attack and aggravate the damage to her nerves, possibly sending her into a relapse and coma. He'd tried to put it delicately, and though he didn't do very well, she understood his concerns and didn't want to slip back into that black oblivion she'd spent too much time in after that terrible day…

She suddenly heard the Doctor's voice out in the main section of Sickbay. "You might've asked before adorning my Sickbay with animal remains."

"It's a Medicine Wheel, a talisman used by Chakotay's tribe. He once showed me how it works," B'Elanna's voice replied. Sarah thought she knew what she was talking about, a soft brown piece of animal hide with an intricate wheel design painted on it in red and green and white and yellow. She had seen it in his quarters once or twice but had never known exactly what is was. "He said that if anything ever happened to him I should perform a special healing ritual. The wheel represents both the universe outside and the universe inside our minds as well. They believe each is a reflection of the other. When a person is sleeping or on a vision quest it's said that their soul is 'walking the Wheel', but if he's in a coma or near death it means that he's gotten lost. These stones are signposts to help point the way back." The engineer paused, before adding, "Not exactly standard medical procedure, I know, but..."

"You've placed the Coyote Stone at the crossroads of the Fifth and Sixth Realms," the Doctor replied. "Which would divert Commander Chakotay's soul—that is, his consciousness—into the Mountains of the Antelope Women, according to his tradition an extremely attractive locale. He might not want to leave."

She heard the soft clink of a stone being hastily moved. "How do you know about the Medicine Wheel?" B'Elanna demanded.

"It's my business to know about a variety of medical treatments, including those based on psycho-spiritual beliefs. Unfortunately in this case, the Medicine Wheel won't be much help. There's just not enough left of his mind to work with," the Doctor added, his voice gravely serious.

Sarah felt her stomach drop and a cold settled into her body. It was worse than she'd thought, and as another wave of tears built in her eyes, she reached up for the stone bear she kept at the head of her biobed.

Out in the main area, she could barely hear B'Elanna whisper, "Find your way home, commander."

* * *

Several decks away Kes, sat on her bed, reading a book and trying to keep a steady stream of positive thoughts going for the commander's and Sarah's recovery. The whole ship seemed subdued.

Suddenly, something seemed to brush past her ear, like a tiny breeze or whisper. But she was alone and the air circulator was off. She sat up and looked around anyway. "Hello? Is someone here?"

The longer she looked around, instead of the usual dissipation of the strange feeling one would expect, the more she felt like something was watching her, someone just out of reach…

* * *

Someone was watching, bouncing around the room, not seeing clearly, but trying desperately to get her attention.

* * *

Kes took her concerns to Neelix in the kitchen, where he made her sample bits of this and that as he cooked and listened. "It's like sensing some kind of presence, as if someone else was here."

Neelix didn't sound fully convinced. "Your telepathic senses again. Is this like last week when you went into Sickbay and you knew Lieutenant Hargrove had been there only he left hours before?"

"It's not the same. That was like, like hearing faint music from a faraway place. When I was in my quarters just now, it was almost tangible. I felt like there was someone in the room with me."

"Who was it?" he demanded, sounding almost jealous.

"I don't know," Kes replied softly. "A presence. That's all I can say."

* * *

Kathryn Janeway sat determinedly in the captain's chair on the bridge, ignoring the empty seat beside her and forcing her emotional and physical tiredness into a hidden place. Her daughter and first officer weren't the only ones depending on her, and her performing at less than one hundred percent wasn't going to help any of them.

Lieutenant Pete Durst addressed her from behind the railing to her left. "Warp engines still within normal parameters, captain."

Before she could respond, the ship jolted and Lieutenant Durst was forced to grab hold of the railing. She checked her monitor and frowned. "We just changed course again, Mr. Kim!"

"Our new heading is 121 mark 6," the ensign reported, as confused as she.

"Get us back on course!"

"The helm's not responding. I'm locked out."

Tuvok moved from Tactical, quickly replaced by Lieutenant Ayala, and stood next to Ensign Kim to investigate the Ops station. "This command station has been blocked," he reported.

Kathryn tried not to become frustrated. "From where?"

"The lockout originated on deck 12 section B7: navigational control."

"See if you can reestablish control."

At that moment, Tom Paris arrived back on the bridge, a little frustrated himself. "I've checked every ODN junction in the helm control network and I still can't find the problem."

"It seems we've developed a new problem while you were gone," Kathryn informed him, as Tuvok announced, "Helm control reestablished."

She stood and nodded. "Put us back on course for the nebula." Tapping her commbadge, she requested, "Janeway to Torres."

_"Torres here."_

"Who's in the navigational control?"

_"No one right now. I was there this morning and Lieutenant Paris was in there just a few minutes ago."_

Kathryn turned to look at Tom, who looked bewildered and laughed slightly. "That's not true."

She frowned. "Are you certain about that, B'Elanna?"

_"Positive. I just saw him leave about five minutes ago."_

"Janeway out." She turned to look at her conn officer again. "Explanation, Mr. Paris?"

Tom shook his head, still looking confused and now looking frustrated again. "I passed by the navigational control on my way back from the Jefferies tube but that's all. Am I being accused of something here?"

"We are merely following a line of deductive reasoning, lieutenant," Tuvok corrected. "Both deviations from our course were apparently issued from locations where you were working."

Tom's brow creased in irritation. "I'm telling you: I didn't do it."

"Well," Kathryn said, keeping her tone light. "I'm willing to rule out mutiny for the time being. I believe you, Mr. Paris." She slipped into a more serious tone. "But we have to consider the possibility that you might be having a problem with your memory. I want you to go down to Sickbay, have the Doctor check you out."

He nodded, reassured by her belief. "All right."

"Lieutenant Durst."

He looked up, and she signaled that he should accompany Tom.

After the two men left the bridge, she sank back into her chair, hoping against logic that everything would fix itself, and quickly.

* * *

"Neurotransmitter's at normal, synaptic functions stable," Sarah could hear the Doctor say. She blinked away sleep and tried to listen hard for who he was scanning, hoping someone had joined them in Sickbay. She hadn't had visitors in quite a while, not even her mother. _She's busy,_ she reminded herself, but the sad feeling in her chest lingered.

Whoever was out there must be fidgety, because the Doctor added, a little irritably, "Hold still. This is an extremely sensitive scan."

"What I wouldn't give to see good old Doc Brown."

_Tom!_ She smiled to herself. One of her other favorite people.

"What?" the Doctor replied, distracted.

"Doc Brown. Lollipops in the waiting room, no holocomic books more than six months old, house calls. I caught a bad cold one time when I was nine years old. The Doctor whipped up a pot of garlic soup and brought it over himself."

Just hearing Tom's friendly tone lifted her spirits, and she hoped she'd have a chance to talk to him before he left.

The Sickbay doors swished open, and she then heard Tuvok's voice. "Your report, Doctor?"

"I have still have a series of tests to perform but, other than his irritating lapses into nostalgia, I see nothing wrong with him."

_Wait, what do they think is wrong with Tom?_

"I guess you're going to have to round up another suspect, Tuvok."

_Suspect?_

"On the contrary, lieutenant. I ran a forensic sweep of the navigational control. I found traces of your DNA on the console."

"That's impossible."

"The cellular residue you left behind is less than twelve hours old. Do you still wish to maintain your innocence?"

"To be honest, I don't know what to think." Tom sound utterly confused.

"Perhaps my biomolecular scan will reveal something," the Doctor offered.

"Keep me informed, Doctor," Tuvok requested, and she heard him exit.

She listened hard, but only heard some further beeping from medical equipment and the occasional sarcastic comments of the Doctor and Tom. It sounded like maybe they'd finished, and she was getting ready to call out for Tom and hoping that he hadn't somehow slipped out, when he appeared at the foot of the biobed.

"Tom!" She struggled to get upright, reaching out to him with more desperation than she'd thought she felt.

"Hey Shadow." He helped her up and leaned against the biobed, using one arm to support her like Chakotay had. He looked a little shocked at the way she clung to him. "Hey, are you ok?"

"Tom, what's going on?" Her voice trembled. "No one will tell me anything. I haven't seen my mom all day. Where is she? What happened to Chakotay? Why are you in Sickbay? Why are you a suspect?" She felt tears trail down her cheeks and her chest begin to shake, and despite the Doctor's warnings, she decided she didn't care and let herself cry. "Please Tom," she begged.

"Hey…hey." He rubbed her back awkwardly. "Easy kid. It's ok."

"It's…not!" She forced out through her tears and beginning lung spasms. "What…happened?"

"Ok, ok. Look, your mo—I mean, the captain's all right. She's just really busy. She's trying to deal with a lot of navigational problems and a nebula and some weird things that are going on with the crew. I'm sure she'll be down as soon as she gets a chance. She's trying to keep everybody safe, you know?"

Sarah nodded reluctantly. "What…weird th-things?"

"Well, I seem to be forgetting some things that aren't normal. That's why I'm here. It's not a big deal, I don't think. The Doc will figure it out."

She nodded again, calming slightly with the acquisition of information. "Wh-what…about Ch-Chakotay?"

Tom cleared his throat and looked away. "Well, uh…"

"P-please!" She coughed hard several times, but managed to force it under temporary control. "T-tell…me!"

He sighed and patted her back, clearly not sure how to help with her attack. "Ah…well…Um, Tuvok and Chakotay were attacked with a weapon we don't really know anything about. Somehow…the aliens that attacked them…well, the weapon somehow drained all Chakotay's brain activity. He's…he's basically brain dead." Tom immediately bit his lip, regretting his choice of words. "Do you know what that means?"

She nodded, and answered with a quiet, "Yeah." She seemed a little calmer still.

"The Doctor's doing everything he possibly can to fix it," Tom hurriedly assured her. "And you know he's good."

She nodded again, upset but thankful someone was finally giving her some answers. Suddenly, it seemed like all the air in the room had disappeared and she couldn't draw any into her lungs, no matter how she tried, and her left arm began shaking and she couldn't make it stop. Her face contorted in effort and fear.

"Doc!" Tom yelled, trying to look around the corner for the hologram. "Doc, we need you over here now!"

The Doctor came hurrying out of his office, looking more frazzled than usual. When he saw what was going on, the frazzled look disappeared and he immediately started grabbing instruments. "What happened?"

"We were just talking," Tom explained, beginning to feel a little frantic. He went to move out of the way, but the Doctor grabbed his sleeve and yanked him back.

"Hold her up. The nerves responsible for communicating with her lungs are misfiring again. I'm going to re-stimulate them, but she needs every bit of help she can get—lying down is too hard on her respiratory system." He pressed a hypospray to her neck and peered into her eyes. He noticed the redness and tears and sighed, trying not to be short with her. "Sarah, remember what I told you. I realize it's very difficult, but you just can't cry. It wreaks havoc on your respiratory system." He moved her arm in several different directions and felt the continued quivering. He grabbed another hypospray and gave her a second injection. "What were you discussing that made her cry?"

Tom flinched at the wording. "She…she wanted to know about Commander Chakotay."

The Doctor's head shot up at that, looking shocked and irate. "And you told her?"

"Look, Doc," he protested, trying to keep his hands on Sarah's shoulders comfortingly as she started to draw breath again. "Nobody's telling her anything and she's scared."

"So you add to her fears and trigger an attack?"

"I'm not exactly great with kids, Doc! What would you have done?"

"I'm—g-glad he told me!" Sarah insisted through great gasps of air.

"Stop talking," the Doctor instructed, but in a much gentler tone. "It's too hard on your system. You have to rest for a while." Looking at Tom, he added, "I don't know what I would have done lieutenant. Just…try not to distribute that type of information without consulting someone like myself, or her mother."

"Yeah…" The Doctor signaled that they could allow Sarah to lay back down, and Tom helped ease her back. "I'm sorry Sarah," he added. "I really shouldn't've…"

She shook her head, releasing him of any responsibility, and gave him a smile and squeezed his hand.

He smiled back, and turned to the Doctor. "Can I talk to you a sec?"

The Doctor nodded as he ran a final tricorder scan on the small Janeway girl. "Try to sleep and stay still," he instructed her.

"Hang in there Shadow," Tom added, smiling, before he left. He followed the Doctor into his office.

"What is, Mr. Paris? I'm very busy."

"Look, it's probably not my place, but…is there any way you can get the captain down here? I think part of the reason Sarah was so upset is she hasn't seen her mother since this morning, right before Chakotay and Tuvok were beamed in here. She told me that's the last time she saw her."

"The captain is an even busier person, Mr. Paris." The Doctor sifted through a stack of PADDs. "I'm sure she's perfectly capable of determining of how often she can and should visit her child."

He paused for a moment. "You've got one terrified and confused kid in there, Doc. I know as well as anybody she's a genius for her age, but that doesn't change the fact that she's still only four years old. She's dealing with a serious set of circumstances, and I think she needs more emotional support than she's getting right now. I don't want to seem like I'm suggesting anyone is being negligent…I mean, I don't mean to overstep my bounds…but if you say something…"

The Doctor's brow furrowed. "Mr. Paris, I believe you are dangerously close to suggesting negligence and overstepping your bounds."

Tom nodded slowly, biting his lip.

After a moment, the hologram's countenance softened slightly. "However, lieutenant," he added in a low tone. "You do make a valid argument. I will…see what I can do."

* * *

On the bridge, Captain Janeway stood with Tuvok at his station, so intent on the monitors in front of them that she barely noticed Lieutenant Durst re-entering the bridge from the turbolift.

"I believe I've found the ion trail of the ship that attacked us." He called up a new image, an orange grid overlaid on a black background. Three orange dots appeared, seemingly at random, and an orange line followed them, snaking around them in a serpentine pattern. "It leads directly into the dark matter nebula. This is the nebula, and this is the ion trail. As you can see, their flight path is highly erratic."

"These planetoids inside the nebula," she mused. "They may be generating a dangerous gravitational effect like storm currents. The chances are they've mapped those currents and are taking the only safe way through."

"A reasonable assumption. I recommend we follow their exact flight path."

"Agreed. Lay in a course for—"

The ship's power suddenly went down, including the bridge lights. Kathryn stood stunned in the dark for a moment before the power came rushing back with an electronic swelling noise.

"Captain, we're dropping to impulse power," Ensign Kim announced from ops. "I'm reading a massive energy drain all over the ship, and the warp core is shutting down."

"Bridge to Engineering. Report," the captain said, tapping her commbadge. There was no reply, and she tried again. "Lieutenant Torres, please respond." Still nothing. "Mr. Kim, take the bridge. Tuvok, you're with me."

* * *

In Sickbay, Sarah lay alone still, clutching the stone bear Chakotay had given her, trying to nap. The effects of the attack from earlier had subsided finally, though she worried about how much longer it had taken for the hyposprays to do their job this time around.

Her worry was interrupted by a sudden prickling on the back of her neck. She thought she sensed a presence. "Hello?" she called out. Maybe someone had entered Sickbay and she'd just missed the sound of the doors. She pushed herself up on one elbow as far as she could. "Hello?" Tom must have been sleeping, and not even the Doctor answered—he must have been offline—but she could have sworn someone was there in the back part of Sickbay with her. The feeling didn't go away.

"Hello?"

* * *

Kathryn strode into Engineering just behind Tuvok, tucking a few loose strands into the twist she'd pulled her hair back into that morning. She worked to re-route her frustration with the day's events into a simple sense of determination. "Torres, what's going on?"

"Captain?"

"You've initiated an emergency warp core shutdown."

"What?" B'Elanna looked as shocked as the rest of them

Kathryn ducked under the railing and knelt next to the warp core, placing a hand on it. She suppressed a sigh as her fears were confirmed. "Too late. The warp core's offline. It'll take at least two hours to regenerate the dilithium matrix." To an ensign with short blond hair, she added, "Ensign, get the rest of the systems back online." She turned to her chief engineer. "Apparently, you've just crashed the main computer, locked out the Bridge and stopped this ship cold. Do you want to tell me why?"

With a look of confusion that was getting to be all too familiar, B'Elanna replied, "Captain, I don't know what you're talking about."

This time, she couldn't repress a sigh of frustration. "What the hell is going on here?"

_"Sickbay to Captain Janeway."_

She tapped her commbadge. "Go ahead."

_"Captain, I have something you need to see…and…there's an issue with my other patient."_

She immediately knew from the tone who he was talking about, and with a little thrill of fear and guilt, she realized she hadn't thought of her daughter in hours and hadn't returned to Sickbay since Chakotay and Tuvok had been beamed back on board. She'd never explained what was going on, hadn't even stopped by to check on her or say hello. She'd been busy, but it wasn't a good excuse for a mother to avoid her sick child all day.

"I'll be there immediately," she answered, placing the back of one finger to the bridge of her nose for a moment in frustration.

* * *

In Sickbay, the Doctor indicated parts of a screen to the captain and security officer. Sections of blue and green waves bracketed on either end in orange glowed at them from a black background, and he tapped commands into the console, magnifying and highlighting specific sections of the waves. "I found something, and you're not going to like it. This is Mr. Paris' memory engram for the past twenty-four hours. As you can see, it has a consistent and very distinctive modulation, except at 1350 hours. For one minute forty-seven seconds a different memory pattern appeared. 1350 hours is also the exact moment when Mr. Paris apparently tampered with navigational control."

At their disturbed faces, he added grimly, "It gets worse. In addition to that, there is another disruption at 1202 hours, the moment when he allegedly entered the new course at the helm. I also found there's an identical disruption in Lieutenant Torres' pattern at the moment that she shut down warp power. I should point out that this is a neuroelectrical signature, what I believe to be another brainwave that was superimposed on their own."

Tom sat up straighter on a nearby biobed. "Another brainwave? Whose?"

"I don't know. It has an unusual energy signature, one I've never seen before."

"Doctor, what are you saying?" Kathryn asked with an edge to her voice.

"One possible explanation, and the only one I can think of at the moment, is that an unknown alien entity momentarily took control of their minds."

The small group looked at each other for a moment, then Tuvok tapped his commbadge. "Intruder alert. All security personnel go to Condition Four." To the captain, he added, "Captain, it is possible that the intruder returned with us in the shuttlecraft."

"If you're right, and there is an alien here, it seems intent on preventing us from going back to the nebula. What's more, it seems to have the ability to jump from person to person. If that's true, it could be in any one of us, controlling our actions without us realizing it." Her frustration had evaporated, replaced with apprehension.

"Well, except for me," the Doctor added offhandedly.

Tuvok, Tom, and Kathryn all turned to him, realizing the significance of his statement.

"That's true," Tom said. "So far it's only affected organic beings. If it could control the computer and navigational controls directly, it would've done it already."

"Which means the Doctor is the only person on board we can trust at this moment." Kathryn surveyed the hologram seriously. "Doctor, until we have eliminated this alien presence, I can't take the risk that it could take over any of the senior officers. I'd like to transfer all command codes to you until further notice."

"What would that mean? That I'm in command?"

"No. But you will act as a failsafe. If you feel at any time that any of us are under the influence of the alien, you can countermand our orders and take control of the ship. Do you feel up to it?"

"Well, of course. I make life and death decisions every day."

"I feel better already," Tom joked sarcastically.

"Computer, transfer all command codes to the holographic doctor. Authorization Janeway 841-alpha-65."

_"Command code transfer complete."_

"Let's see if we can get the warp core back online ahead of schedule," she added to Tuvok. She made a move to leave with him, and the Doctor frowned at her, and she realized she'd almost left without checking in on Sarah. Again. She moved to head to the back of Sickbay, when Kes came hurrying into the room.

"Captain! I heard what's happened. I think you're right. There is an alien presence here. I've been sensing something unusual all day. I don't know how to describe it but I know there's something here."

"Do you know where?" she asked with a frown.

"No. Just that it's on the ship."

"Captain," Tuvok interjected. "Kes' telepathic abilities are undisciplined. If I could initiate a Vulcan mind meld with her, I may be able to help her focus those abilities to detect the alien more accurately."

"I'm willing to do that," Kes replied in her soft but determined way.

"Very well. Proceed, Mr. Tuvok," Kathryn instructed.

With a nod, the two of them headed out into the hall.

The alien presence that had been hovering around Sarah Janeway's biobed suddenly darted away, and chased after the Vulcan and the Ocampan.

Without waiting for further admonitions from the Doctor, or what she suspected were cloaked admonitions to avoid insubordination from Tom, she walked to the back of the room and entered the alcove-like area where her daughter's biobed was.

"Sarah?" she called tentatively.

The bundle of blankets shifted, and she could see her daughter with her thumb in her mouth, a habit she'd given up before her first birthday. Her eyes widened and she reached out. "Mama!"

"Hey baby," she said, trying to keep her voice from trembling. She lifted her daughter into her arms and cradled her against her chest. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok," came the muffled reply.

"No, it's not."

"You were busy." Her small voice poorly disguised the platitude.

"We both know that's no excuse." The captain held back tears as best she could. "I'm not doing so well with this splitting my time thing today, am I?" She tilted her daughter back so she could see her face.

"No, not really," the child admitted.

They shared a small laugh and hugged each other tightly again.

"Oh, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah," Kathryn whispered. "What am I going to do?"

"Your job," came the muffled response. "Just say hi sometimes. And let me know what's going on."

Her mother froze at that. "You mean what's happened with Chakotay?"

Sarah pushed herself up with a bit of a wheeze and nodded.

The captain pressed her lips together, trying to formulate a response.

"It's ok. Tom told me."

"What?"

"Well, I made him tell me." Sarah nervously put her thumb back in her mouth and talked around it. "It's really hard, just being back here. I didn't know if Chakotay was…if he was just hurt or worse, and I didn't know if you were ok even, I hadn't seen you so long. I was worried and scared and all by myself. You have to be the captain first, but…now it's harder. Than before. When I wasn't…" Sarah rested her head back on her mother's shoulder, emotionally and physically exhausted.

"We'll figure something out baby," Kathryn assured her, a little startled at how young her daughter seemed. She knew she was only four, but since Seska's attack, and even a little before, her unusual abilities had mostly slipped away, along with some of her unnatural intelligence. New habits, like the thumb-sucking, had begun to emerge. It was disconcerting in more ways than one.

"Mama?"

"Yes?"

"Was someone here earlier?"

"You mean the Doctor? Or Tom?"

"No, someone all the way back here. I…it felt like someone was standing right here. But when I looked up, nobody was there. It was…really weird."

The captain wrapped her arms tighter around her daughter, as though she were trying to shield her. It sounded a lot like what Kes had been experiencing, and though she was almost grateful for a sign of her daughter's state of 'normal' emerging, she wanted that entity, if that's what it was, as far away from her child as possible.

"That is very strange," she said, rubbing Sarah's back and hating feeling like she was lying. "Very, very strange."

* * *

Lieutenant Durst and Harry Kim walked briskly along a corridor, phasers now clipped to their hips.

Harry instructed his partner, "The captain wants to seal off all critical areas of the ship, so make sure that access hatch to Jefferies tube A17 is secured."

"So what exactly are we securing against?" Durst asked.

"We're not sure yet, but we think it's some form of non-corporeal alien."

"Non-corporeal?" They stopped in front of a turbolift entrance and Harry entered a code to summon one. "That means it can probably move right through a bulk—"

Lieutenant Durst left his sentence unfinished as the turolift doors slid open and revealing the unconscious crumpled figures of Tuvok and Kes.

Harry immediately slapped his badge to activate the comm system. "Medical emergency, deck seven section thirteen alpha!"

* * *

_"Captain's log, supplemental. It appears that Mr. Tuvok and Kes were hit by an unidentified energy discharge. Tuvok was not badly hurt but Kes is in a coma."_

The senior officers sat around the table in the briefing room, listening to Tuvok fill them in on what had happened in the turbolift. "It was similar to the attack on the shuttlecraft. An energy discharge came through the bulkhead, filled the turbolift and hit both of us."

"We didn't pick up a discharge of any kind on the internal sensors," B'Elanna said with a slight frown.

"Perhaps this type of energy is beyond our sensor bandwidth."

"Perhaps, but that discharge had to come from somewhere."

"The most thorough scanning device we have on board is a magneton scanner. We could search the ship centimeter by centimeter," Tom suggested. After a pause he conceded, "But that wouldn't do much good. This alien could be anywhere at any time."

B'Elanna straightened in her chair. "But what if we could perform a magneton scan on the entire ship all at once."

"What do you suggest?" Kathryn asked.

"A magneton flash scan. We could reconfigure every sensor array on this ship to emit a single burst. It might be enough to illuminate any anomalous energy. Harry, what do you think?"

They all turned to face the ops officer, but he wasn't paying them any attention. He stared off into the space beyond the window of the briefing room. Tuvok stood and pointed a phaser in his direction, and B'Elanna pulled out a tricorder and began scanning him.

Harry suddenly noticed all the activity centered on him and started in surprise. "Whoa! What did I do?"

"Stay where you are, Mr. Kim," Tuvok instructed.

"I don't see anything unusual, but that doesn't mean anything," B'Elanna announced, looking over the tricorder readings.

"Mr. Kim, what were you doing just now?" Kathryn asked intently.

"I was just thinking. I was remembering an old study I saw about magneton scanners." He added, apologetically, "I guess my mind started to wander a bit."

Tuvok holstered his phaser and B'Elanna closed her tricorder as Kathryn spoke. "I'm very disturbed by what just happened here. We don't have any idea what occurs when someone is occupied by this alien presence. If we start pointing a finger every time somebody gets distracted it won't be long before outright paranoia starts sweeping the ship. Tuvok, B'Elanna, I want you to get started on that magneton flash scan. It's worth a try." Everyone present acknowledged her with a nod, and she finished with, "Dismissed."

As they filtered out of the room one by one, she surreptitiously rubbed at her temples. She'd thought she'd finally gotten a handle, however loose, on things, and then this development was tossed in her lap. She hoped, prayed, that they got out of this soon, because once again it felt like the crew or her daughter would end up with the short end of the stick. _That won't happen,_ she told herself sternly. _This isn't the Kobyashi Maru. There **is** a solution that doesn't cheat anyone out of anything, and I **will** find it. Because that's my job._ She smiled as her daughter's words entered her thoughts. _It's my job…_

_

* * *

_

Back in Sickbay, Sarah half-listened to a new series of voices, dozing in and out. She new there was still trouble on the ship, that it was possibly getting worse, and that her mother would be away for quite a while longer, but she still felt better after their talk, knowing that they were on the same page.

"And that's not all. Ensign Parsons ordered his pejuta cold!" Neelix was continuing his paranoid jabber at the Doctor, who was attempting to tend to Kes, who Sarah could only surmise from snatches of conversation had been attacked and injured somehow.

"So?"

"He always drinks it hot, hot!, with lemon. But not today. Today it's cold pejuta, hold the lemon!"

"Mr. Neelix, just because a man changes his drink order doesn't mean he's possessed by an alien," the Doctor answered irritably.

Sarah had to smile at that, but she wondered about all this talk about alien possession. She felt like they weren't telling her something again, but she tried to remind herself that maybe they didn't know much yet, or that they were trying to protect her. Still, it was frustrating and a little troubling.

"Nevertheless, don't you think you should scan him or dissect him or something? Just to make sure?"

"I could examine every crewmember you've mentioned so far, everyone on board for that matter, and it wouldn't do any good. From what we can tell, the alien can jump to person to person at will."

"Sounds to me like you're defending Ensign Parsons."

"I'm not defending him. I'm just pointing out that you're acting a little paranoid. In fact…one could say you're acting a little too paranoid."

That pushed Neelix to the point of offense. "Are you suggesting...that I could possibly be...? Doctor, I can assure you that not even an alien intruder could make me do anything to hurt Kes!" he sputtered.

"All I'm suggesting, Mr. Neelix, is that paranoia is only going to aggravate your already precarious emotional condition. Try to relax. I don't think Kes has suffered any permanent neurological damage. I'll let you know the moment I've had any success in reviving her."

"I'll be back as soon as you wake, dearest. Don't worry, you're in good hands. Thank you, Doctor."

She heard the doors swish.

"What are you doing?" the Doctor asked someone.

"I am reconfiguring the sensor relays on the ship," Tuvok replied. He had to have entered as Neelix had left. "This will only take a minute."

"Must you do it now? I'm in the middle of a treatment."

"I am sorry, Doctor. Captain's orders."

In the few minutes of ensuing quiet, Sarah tucked the hand clutching the bear to her chest. _Strength and protection,_ she reminded herself. _I just wish it could protect us all._ With all the people coming into Sickbay, it would have been like a little party if everyone hadn't been unconscious or under investigation.

"How is she?" Tuvok said a few minutes later, his voice closer now.

"No irreparable damage," the Doctor responded. "In fact, her injuries are quite different from Commander Chakotay's. Her bioneural energy is completely intact, and I'm curious about these contusions on her neck and shoulder. They're not consistent with an energy discharge. They look more like wounds sustained during a physical struggle."

"Odd. There was no physical struggle that I can recall."

"I just don't understand it. The only thing these injuries come close to resembling is an extreme trauma to the trapezius nerve bundle. It's as though her nerve fibers have been ruptured…"

Sarah frowned, worried. She knew nothing about talking to the spirits like Chakotay did, but she fixed the image of the Medicine Wheel in her mind and stared at the bear in her palm. _Protect us. Please._

_

* * *

_

Kathryn was working back and forth between a PADD and her personal computer when the door chime to her ready room rang. "Come in."

Tuvok entered the room and stood in front of her desk. "Lieutenant Torres and I will be ready to initiate the magneton scan in approximately two hours. You should be aware that it will be a high intensity burst. It will cause dizziness and disorientation in all the crewmembers, including myself, for several seconds."

She nodded, making a mental note to check with the Doctor about its effects on her daughter. "Make a shipwide announcement before you initiate the scan."

"Aye, captain. There is another matter of some concern. It appears that Kes' injuries were not caused by an energy discharge. The Doctor has found evidence that she was physically assaulted."

"Assaulted? But you weren't physically assaulted."

"That is correct."

"Is it possible that you inflicted her wounds?" She frowned in concern.

"Me?"

"Maybe you were inhabited by the alien at that point."

"Maybe it's possible. Perhaps I should have the Doctor run a neurological scan to see if I show a memory disruption."

"Agreed." She tapped her commbadge. "Janeway to Sickbay." There was no response. She tried another tactic. "Computer, activate Emergency Medical Holographic system."

"Unable to comply. The EMH program has been disabled."

"Disabled? By whom?"

"Unknown."

Kathryn accessed the control panel on her desk, tapping in a series of commands. Her frown grew more pronounced. "The Doctor's initialization routine has been locked out. It's encrypted. I can't reactivate the program… It appears the lockout originated somewhere above deck four. Why would someone deactivate the Doctor?"

"The Doctor does hold the command codes to _Voyager_."

She stood and joined him in front of the desk. "Yes, but once he was deactivated the codes automatically reverted back to me."

"If we assume the alien could not take over a holographic doctor, then logically it would try to force the command codes back into a humanoid host."

"Me." She paused for a moment, and the significance of the thought process washed over them. "It's too dangerous for one person to retain the command codes at this point. I suggest we divide my command protocols into two code groupings."

"A sensible precaution."

"You would be the reasonable choice to hold the second grouping, if there's any such thing as a reasonable choice right now. The alien could occupy either one of us at any time."

"But presumably not both of us at the same time."

Kathryn nodded definitively and headed for the doors to the bridge. "I'll tell the bridge crew the plan. We'll all have to act as checks and balances for each other." She stepped onto the bridge just behind her security officer. She surveyed the crewmembers at their posts, then announced, "I want you all to be aware of something that's happened, something that I assume was due to alien."

Unnoticed by anyone, the disembodied alien presence she spoke of buzzed around the bridge ceiling, surveying them.

"The Doctor has been deactivated," she continued. "And we can't get him back online. I have decided to divide my command protocols—" There she trailed off, looking distant.

"Captain?" Tuvok inquired, turning.

At that, she suddenly drew back her fist and punched him squarely in the jaw.

The bridge erupted in chaos. Tuvok drew his phaser and aimed it at the captain, but she swiftly kicked it out of his hand. "Stun her! She's the alien!" he shouted, and Tom quickly pulled and fired his own phaser, hitting her in the chest. She fell to the deck, unconscious, but barely a moment later the presence apparently left her body and entered Harry Kim's. He stepped forward, but Tom was on the alert and punched him out. Then Durst raised his phaser and fired it at Tuvok who managed to duck the beam. Lieutenant Ayala tackled Lieutenant Durst, while Tuvok recovered his phaser and scrambled to his feet. He aimed his phaser in the general center of the bridge, set it to wide beam dispersal, and fired a single, wide encompassing shot that stunned them all.

The alien presence was forced out to find new prey.

* * *

Sarah was awakened from the first solid nap she'd had all day by the sound of many voices. In her half-sleeping haze, she thought for a second that maybe there was some sort of party going on in Sickbay.

That changed as she detected the serious tones of the voices, and the continued hissing of hyposprays. Oddly, she did not hear the Doctor's voice.

"That should do it, captain," she heard Tom say, and there was the hiss of a hypospray.

"Thank you, Mr. Paris. I feel better already."_ Mama?_

She could hear movement, then her mother's voice again. "Any luck getting the Doctor back online?"

"Not yet. Whoever did this put up one hell of a roadblock. I'm going to have to break through at least six levels of encryption to access the holo-emitters," Harry Kim answered.

"How long is it going to take?"

"Two, maybe three hours."

_"Torres to Janeway."_

"Go ahead."

_"Captain, can you come down to Engineering? There's something here I think you should see."_

"Give me a few minutes and I'll be on my way. Janeway out." She heard her voice moving through the room. "Mr. Paris, you're our temporary medic until the Doctor returns. Ensign, I need you on the bridge." Her mother was suddenly standing at the foot of her biobed.

"Mama." Sarah rubbed at her eyes. "What's going on now?"

Kathryn took a deep breath and gave her daughter a brief summary of the latest turn of events aboard the ship, knowing things had progressed to a point where knowledge was power, even for a four-year-old. She ended with, "So if you see anyone acting strangely, don't be afraid to use the comm system to tell me, ok?"

Sarah nodded, daunted by the seriousness of the development.

"Mr. Paris is here until the Doctor comes back online, so you should be fine." Kathryn dropped a quick kiss on her daughter's forehead. "I have to go. I love you."

"Love you too," Sarah called out as her mother hurried out of the room. She carefully placed the bear next to her head on the pillow. "We have our work cut out for us, huh?" she whispered to it.

* * *

In Main Engineering, Kathryn crouched over the console B'Elanna sat at, her fingers flying to enter commands. "I've been trying to reconstruct the damaged sensor logs from Tuvok and Chakotay's shuttlecraft. I didn't have any luck until I ran a parity trace scan. Captain, the sensor logs weren't destroyed by an energy discharge. Someone erased them, and then overloaded the sensor matrix to make it look like they'd been damaged." At the captain's look of dismay, she added, "It gets worse. There was enough information in the backup logs for me to reconstruct what happened during the attack. They were near a dark matter nebula, and an energy discharge did breach the hull, but there was no other ship."

"No ship?" The captain couldn't believe what she was hearing. Things were continuing their downward spiral.

"I'm certain of it. From what I can tell, the energy discharge came from the nebula itself."

"Why would Tuvok lie about an attack?" Kathryn asked, incredulous.

"He must've been under the alien's influence."

"Bridge to Janeway." Kim's voice came over the comm system. "We're approaching the dark matter nebula."

"Acknowledged. Janeway out." She turned to B'Elanna. "How long before the magneton flash scan is ready to go?"

"The sensor arrays are charging now. Fifteen, maybe twenty minutes."

She nodded, jaw set determinedly. "When it's ready, transfer control of the scan to the bridge. In the meantime, I think we should take a look at exactly what it is we're not supposed to see."

* * *

Back on the bridge, she observed the nebula through the viewscreen for a moment. Shades of blue, mostly dark shades, swelled and heaved in cloud-like formations and consistency, roiling like thunderclouds. Electrical charges not unlike lightning sparked and sputtered on occasion. She turned away from the disconcerting image and headed towards the back of the bridge, past where Lieutenant Durst sat at the Engineering console and stood near Tuvok. "Mr. Tuvok, can you locate the ion trail of the alien ship that attacked you?"

"I believe so." He typed some commands into the console before him. "Mr. Kim, lay in that course. Shields are at maximum, captain. All preparations for entering the nebula are complete."

At that moment, Tom Paris joined them on the bridge, giving Tuvok an odd look. "Captain, I've finished the bio-analysis the Doctor was running on Kes before he was deactivated. I think he was on to something. If I'm interpreting his data correctly, the bruises on Kes' neck and shoulders were the result of a Vulcan neck pinch."

The captain turned to her security officer. "Lieutenant?"

"I have no memory of injuring Kes. Perhaps I was occupied by the alien at that time."

Kathryn frowned, the series of events linking in her head. "Perhaps so. But then, why does it keep attacking you? In three separate instances now, it's assaulted you."

"I am the chief of security. It may see me as a particular threat."

"So far you've posed no greater threat than anyone else, and yet it keeps going after you." A suspicion nagged at her mind, and though she hoped she was wrong, there was too much evidence to just ignore it.

"Captain, I believe you are having a typically human response in circumstances which are frightening and inexplicable, commonly known as paranoia."

"Maybe," she allowed. "Maybe, but I don't think it's paranoia that keeps me from picking up this ion trail of yours." She examined a console. "What bandwidth are you on?"

"I'm using a multiphasic scan. If you examine the alpha-k band you will see it."

She tapped some commands on the touch screen. "Yes, here it is. A very interesting ion trail. There's no sign of any subspace distortions in its wake. According to these readings, it's a ship without engines." She turned to the Vulcan with a face set like stone. "You're lying, Tuvok. There is no alien ship and there never was. We're not going inside that nebula until we get some answers." She turned to the ops station. "Mr. Kim, reverse course and—"

"Belay that order!" Tuvok ordered in a surprisingly loud tone. Then he shocked them further by pulling his phaser and aiming it at the captain. "That is exactly what the alien has been trying to do—prevent us from entering the nebula. I suspect the captain has been occupied. I am relieving her of command." He pointed the phaser at Harry. "Ensign, proceed into the nebula, one-half impulse."

Kathryn's every nerve lit up, adrenaline rushing through her veins: a surge of protectiveness for her crew and her family. Everything she knew, everything she felt, told her that entering the nebula was suddenly a very bad idea. "Don't do it, Harry!" she called out, half order, half plea.

"Now, Ensign!" Tuvok had a firm grip on the phaser.

Harry looked torn for a few moments, but then straightened up and said flatly, "No, sir. I won't do it."

Tuvok moved out from behind the security station, holding the phaser steadily aimed towards the captain, Tom, and Harry. The crewmembers at the other bridge stations were cautiously frozen in place, watching the event unfold behind the bridge railing. "I must inform you: this phaser is on wide beam dispersal and set to kill. I am taking command of this bridge. I must ask you all to stand together where I can see you. Step away from the console, ensign!"

With the phaser trained on them, the crewmembers had no choice but to gather slowly at the back of the bridge and stand together, while Tuvok stepped behind the ops console and began entering commands.

Kathryn had automatically placed herself in front of her crew, mind racing to find options. Behind her shoulder, Lieutenant Durst quietly commented, "Captain, we're entering the nebula."

Harry snuck a few commands into a console to his left. "Captain, I'm picking up some kind of energy pulses in the nebula, highly coherent with a biomatrix."

"Lifeforms," she realized with a start.

"And they're heading this way," Harry added.

The captain looked at Tuvok, who she knew now beyond a shadow of doubt was not really her security officer. "Those beings out there—are they your people?"

"We are the Komar," he confirmed. "This is our domain."

* * *

Something invisible careened around the upper levels of Main Engineering, observing everything going on below, especially the people.

If anyone had been watching closely in Engineering, they would have seen B'Elanna leave one task very abruptly and move to another computer panel, where she quickly entered a series of commands.

The ship jolted.

They felt the movement on the bridge, stumbling against each other and putting their hands out to catch their balance.

"What's happening?" Kathryn asked, keeping her eyes focused on the alien/Tuvok.

Durst snuck another look at the full wall console to their left. "The warp core's been ejected," he answered with surprise.

The alien grew angry. "No! No! We must continue!" He worked the controls in front of him violently.

_"Torres to bridge,"_ B'Elanna's voice joined them. _"Captain, I think I was just taken over by the alien. One second I was working the plasma relays then the next thing I knew I was ejecting the warp core!"_

"Acknowledged lieutenant. Stand by."

B'Elanna's announcement set off a flurry of intense discussion among the crew standing at gunpoint, conducted in whispers to avoid the alien's attention.

"If the alien's in Tuvok, how can it be down in engineering at the same time?" Tom asked.

"I don't know," Harry replied. "Unless there are two aliens!"

"Two?"

"Wait a minute," Kathryn interrupted, the pieces coming together in her head. "Lieutenant Torres isn't authorized to eject the warp core on her own. That requires a command code authorization. Computer, who authorized the ejection of the warp core?"

"The authorization was entered by Commander Chakotay."

"Chakotay!" She felt simultaneous prickles of hope and confusion.

"How is that possible?" Harry asked, sounding as uncertain as they all must feel.

"The alien in Tuvok wants us in that nebula," Kathryn replied, working out loud as she worked in her head. "But there's another presence that's been trying to keep us out." She worked to keep her voice neutral, though she felt a rising sense of optimism even in the face of the current situation. "It doesn't make sense unless it's Chakotay, and he knows we'll be in danger if we go in there."

"But he's in Sickbay. He's brain dead."

"Maybe not. Maybe his neural energy was displaced somehow, and he's able to move from person to person." She thought of what Kes had experienced, and her daughter, and while the idea was still somewhat difficult to comprehend, certain things suddenly made sense.

"Tuvok's engaged emergency thrusters," Lieutenant Durst interrupted. "We're moving again, captain."

"You brought us here, for what?" Kathryn asked loudly, directing her attention once again to the alien. "To extract our neural energy?"

"Very perceptive, captain," the alien/Tuvok answered smoothly. "The collective neural energy of your crew will sustain my people for years to come."

Before he'd finished his sentence, the strong captain instincts in her were running full throttle, weighing pros and cons and drafting solutions to keep the ship and the crew and her daughter safe. A footnote made a brief appearance at the periphery of her thoughts, a hope that maybe even if the worst began to happen, at least Sarah and Chakotay and Kes and the Doctor might be somehow spared and between them they could rescue the rest of the crew and get the ship to safety. After that brief moment, her first tactic was diplomacy. "You don't have to do this. Maybe we can help you find another source of energy—"

The ship lurched and shivered, and Harry snuck another look at a console. "Captain, we're under attack. We're being bombarded by the energy beings."

The shaking and lurching and small explosions as circuits overloaded and popped were enough cover, she decided, and she took advantage of the distractions to duck under the railing to access the computer panel by the captain's chair. As fast her fingers would let her, she activated the magneton flash scan.

A burst of light so bright it was tinted blue seemed to come out of nowhere, and she was startled at how dizzy and disoriented she felt, barely able to keep herself from falling off the small ledge she knelt on into the chair in front of her. From what she could see in her peripheral vision, the rest of the crew felt the same, stumbling, trying to protect their eyes, and grabbing for handholds. She turned just in time to see that it had affected the alien in Tuvok as well, causing him to fall backwards, his phaser no longer aimed at them. Tom was quick to react, and he wrestled the phaser out of his hands and turned it on him.

There was no need. He slumped to the ground, staring at nothing. When his body hit the deck, there was a soft whooshing noise and a luminous blue orb rose out of his chest and left the ship through a bulkhead.

* * *

Sarah wasn't terribly worried when the ship first jolted. She'd been through much worse in their months in the Delta Quadrant. She didn't know exactly what type of a nebula they were trying to navigate, but she figured turbulence was just part of the trip. The second jolt didn't much bother her either. But the third jolt was much harsher, and it tossed her from the biobed as she tried to reach for the container of water the Doctor had left out for her. They both crashed to the deck, the container landing near her head and soaking her to the waist. She gasped for air and out of pain, as the weight of her body forced the air from her lungs and set her lungs and ribs and shoulders on fire. It felt like every nerve in her body had turned to acid, and she might have screamed if she'd had the air. She'd managed not to lose the bear still clutched in her palm. Chakotay's words seemed to echo in her head, and she tried not to panic. _Be brave,_ she reminded herself through the haze.

* * *

In the aftermath of the magneton scan, Tom quickly scanned Tuvok's unconscious body with a tricorder. He nodded to the captain to indicate that the security officer was fine.

Kathryn nodded back, face set grimly. The alien was gone, but their situation had not exactly improved. They were still lost deep inside a nebula filled with hostile beings, with no warp core and no flight path. "The magneton scan identified the entity before it left the ship," she read from a computer panel. "It was a trianic-based energy being."

"Look like he's joined his friends outside," Harry said, running to his station.

Lieutenant Durst was holding tight to a console on the back wall. "Shields are holding, but they won't last long at this rate."

"And the electromagnetic radiation's blinding our sensors," Tom reported with frustration from the ops console where he stood next to Harry. "I can't find a way out!"

"Come about," Kathryn ordered. "Maybe if we reverse course we can just backtrack."

"Yes ma'am."

"I don't know if that'll work, captain," Harry called out. "Tuvok was navigating a complicated course. We could be going deeper into the nebula."

"Mr. Kim, maybe you can reconstruct Tuvok's navigational logs."

"I'm on it, captain." The young operations officer rushed from his station to the tactical station, nearly falling as the ship bucked violently again.

"Shields down to sixty-five percent, captain," Durst warned. "The energy beings are starting to penetrate our defenses."

* * *

She had nearly passed out from the effort, but Sarah managed to force her lungs to draw air without the aid of a hypospray. She wasn't breathing easily, but she was conscious. It took longer for her to be able to move her arms and legs, but she waited as patiently as she could, testing the ability to move every few seconds until she was able to roll onto her stomach and attempt an inelegant hands-and-knees crawl of sorts. Her legs still couldn't support much weight or move well, and she gave up on the hands-and-knees crawl theory and settled for a military belly crawl. Her arms weren't much stronger, and her progress was slow, her efforts further hampered by the fact that she got pinned to the deck every time the ship heaved. The lights dimmed and brightened as the ship's power surged and readjusted. She didn't know where to go or what to do, but she knew laying on the floor near the biobed in a puddle of water wasn't much of an option either.

She froze suddenly as she managed to make her way into the main section of Sickbay. Neelix lay crumpled on the floor by Kes' biobed, probably knocked out by one of the ship's violent lurches. But despite the fact that she could see that everyone currently in Sickbay was unconscious, she felt a strong presence in the room, and close by. It was the same sensation she'd had earlier. Her neck prickled, and she slowly turned to look behind her. She didn't see anything, but she had the strong feeling that something saw her. But before she could even try a "hello", the presence suddenly seemed to swell and come baring down on her.

Sarah wasn't aware of anything for almost a minute, but someone watching would have seen a renewed strength in her military crawl as she made her way on the carpet around to the head of Chakotay's biobed. Once there, she gripped the wall with all her strength and pulled herself up to an unsteady standing position. She managed to catch hold of a corner of the Medicine Wheel, and she pulled it with her as she fell into a sitting position. She took the hide from her lap and laid it out on the floor in front of her, moving the position of several stones.

"I'm not having any luck," Harry said with a pronounced frown. "Tuvok deleted the navigational logs as he went along. He wanted to make sure we didn't get out of here."

The comm signal sounded, and a small, weak voice called out, _"Sickbay to Captain Janeway."_

The captain started, hearing her daughter's voice. "Sarah? Are you all right?"

There was no answer to her second question, but the strained little voice continued, _"I think I was just taken over by the alien. And I don't remember doing it, but it looks like I moved stones on Chakotay's Medicine Wheel."_

"If it's Chakotay, maybe he's trying to tell us something. Mr. Kim, activate Sickbay visual relay sixteen and put it on the viewscreen." He complied, but they saw nothing but a wall. "Sarah, where are you?" she asked, trying to remain professional.

_"Down here,"_ came the reply, almost a sigh.

"Angle the viewer down, Mr. Kim." He did, and they caught the edge of the sleeve of the medical gown Sarah wore, and a few of her dark, frizzy curls. "Back it out." He entered the command and they could see both the captain's daughter and the Medicine Wheel now resting on the ground. Kathryn bit back concerns for her daughter, slumped against a wall, pale, shocked, and drawing only small, intermittent breaths. _If we die in here, it doesn't do her any good,_ she thought grimly. "What is it? What does it mean? Is it a code, a message?" she asked to the room in general, looking at the new configuration of stones.

Tom whipped around to face her, sudden realization on his face. "Or a map."

She nodded quickly. "Computer, overlay a star map of the nebula on the current viewscreen image." It complied, and a star chart in orange lines fitted itself neatly over the stones.

"The stones are in the same position as those three planetoids. Chakotay must be using them to point a way out," Tom said.

"Mr. Kim, lay in a course that takes us along a line connecting those three planetoids," she ordered. "Engage!"

The ship lurched forward, under even greater attack than before. The image of the Medicine Wheel had disappeared from the screen so they could see what was in front of them, and Kathryn worked to keep her attention on the bridge. She and Lieutenant Durst clung to the secondary tactical console to keep from being flung across the room.

"Shields failing! The aliens are penetrating the hull!" he reported.

"Mr. Kim, report!"

"We're passing the third planetoid now, captain," he replied immediately. "The dark matter density is thinning. Normal space ahead."

The ship continued shaking as though it would shake itself apart. "Brdige to Torres! Transfer all remaining power to the thrusters, including life support!"

"Aye captain!"

The pounding and shaking continued for several dozen seconds, Voyager racing for its life, before the violent movement began to taper off.

"We've cleared the nebula, captain," Harry reported, relief evident in his voice. "Main power coming back online. Shields at full strength. Hull integrity normal. The alien beings are not pursuing."

There was a collective sigh of relief in the room, and Kathryn closed her eyes for a moment in gratitude.

* * *

_"Captain's log, stardate 48735.9. We have returned to the coordinates where we ejected the warp core and have successfully retrieved it. Kes has returned to normal. My daughter's condition has been stabilized as best as possible. Now we're hoping the Doctor will be able to successfully reintegrate Commander Chakotay's consciousness."_

Kathryn and B'Elanna crowded around the Doctor anxiously as he ran a final scan on the commander, and Tuvok stood at the foot of the biobed. Kes sat up on her own biobed, watching.

"Did it work?" the captain asked.

Before he could give her an answer, Chakotay's eyelids fluttered, then slowly opened.

"It appears so," the Doctor commented. "It appears so. Commander, can you hear me?"

It took a few seconds, but he slowly answered, "Yes. I'm a little dizzy but I think I'm all here."

"How did you manage to reintegrate his consciousness?' B'Elanna asked, happy but staring in disbelief.

"It involved three neural transceivers, two cortical stimulators and fifty gigaquads of computer memory. I would be happy to take you through the process but it would take at least ten hours to explain it all to you." He looked quite pleased with himself. "Needless to say, it was a remarkable procedure. I would consider writing a paper about it if there were a convenient forum in which to publish it."

"What happened, commander?" Kathryn asked her first officer.

"After the attack on the shuttle, I had this sensation of floating above my own body. I thought I was dead…"

"And when the shuttle returned to Voyager you were still…disembodied?"

"Yes. I couldn't speak. I couldn't touch anything. But then I found that if I concentrated on someone who was in the room with me, I could share their consciousness. At first I could only do little things with the host's body—push buttons, work a console. As time went on, it became easier to do more." He smiled up at Tuvok. "Sorry I had to knock you around, Tuvok."

"No apology is necessary," the security officer answered.

Kathryn smiled down at Chakotay, overwhelmed and relieved to have him back. She never wanted to face the Delta Quadrant without him. "Good job commander, and welcome back."

He smiled back. "To be honest, I feel like I never left."

They shared a quiet, happy moment just taking in the fact that he was back, and in one piece. Then he asked, "Where's Sarah?"

Kathryn's smile disappeared, and the others took that as their hint to leave. They quickly drifted away, even the Doctor.

Chakotay watched their movement and worry creased his brow. "Where is she?" he repeated.

"She's…resting," Kathryn replied, failing to keep some of the concern out of her voice.

"She's worse, isn't she?"

She bit her lip and gave him a quick nod. "A little, yes."

"Captain, I apologize. If I thought there was any other way to communicate the path out of the nebula to you, I would never have—"

"Chakotay, it's not your fault. The Doctor's guessing it's the fall that did it. When the aliens bombarded the ship, it created some very intense shockwaves. Combined with her lack of balance at the time, it created a very nasty fall that exacerbated some of her nerve damage."

"How bad?"

"The Doctor had her in an induced coma for several hours. He's uncertain if she can move her legs anymore." Kathryn paused, trying not to show how her heart caught in her chest. "Or if she can speak."

Chakotay closed his eyes for a moment. "I'm sorry, captain."

"Thank you, commander."

There was a tense pause where Kathryn and Chakotay both looked away.

Then, he asked, "Can I see her?"

She looked back, startled.

"Please," he added. "I…promised. Is she awake?"

"Yes, she's awake now…"

"Just for a minute."

She considered his request for a moment, then thought it was the least she could do, though it was getting to be physically painful to see her daughter in her condition. She nodded. "I'll be right back."

Kathryn entered the back part of Sickbay. Sarah blinked up at her from the biobed. "Sweetheart," she said, wrapping her in a blanket as she lifted her onto her hip. "There's someone who wants to see you."

The only answer she received was a slow breath and a curious look.

She carried her daughter out to where the commander lay. "Look who it is," she said quietly.

Chakotay smiled up at the little girl. "Hey Sarah. I promised you I'd be back soon."

Kathryn saw a small, tired smile form on her daughter's face. The girl lifted up her hand as though to wave, but only opened her palm instead. Kathryn could see a small black object there. "What do you have?"

Chakotay could see it. He smiled. "It's the bear I gave her. A symbol of strength and protection."

The captain turned her head so he couldn't see the tears of gratitude prickling at her eyes. When she had herself under control, she turned back. "Thank you," she said, and meant it with every fiber of her being. Everything about this man made her grateful he'd joined her crew.

"Thank you," came a tiny croak, and the two adults looked in shock at the four-year-old the captain held. Sarah just smiled, and rested her head on her mother's shoulder. The two words seemed to have taken all her strength, but she looked content.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Argh, why do all my stories lately end up being bummers? Sorry guys—I'd hoped to end this chapter on a happier note than it did. And unfortunately, next chapter won't be much cheerier, since it'll be "Emanations", which is all about death and the question of the afterlife. Ugh. Sorry! Maybe I can find a way to lighten it up somehow. Thanks for your continued patience and support! I'd love to hear from you.


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